Community› The Bump Month Clubs› October 2014 Moms
October 2014 Moms
New Discussion

WWYD: Baby Shower Etiquette

bumpuser10309732bumpuser10309732 member
in October 2014 Moms
So I know that we've discussed that having your attendees address their own envelopes is tacky. I have kind of a unique situation going and I'm not sure what to do. DH's boss' wife is throwing me a baby shower. We moved out here last Sept so we've almost been out here a year. Mostly my social circle consists of co-workers and IL's. As I've mentioned DH is a pilot and he's the only one with the company. He's not really ever in the office, rarely on the farm, and never included in the various other operations his boss has going. He occasionally fly's other employees but not often. All of these people in the company have all been invited to a shower for us on Saturday. SO I had this lady come in and give me a baby gift and tell me that she wasn't going to make it to the baby shower. I don't think I've even met her! Her husband is one of the managers of the various operations within the company. SO NICE! All I could think to do was to tell her thank you very much and that it was very thoughtful and sweet of her to give us a gift. HOW do I thank these people in the right way when I barely know their names?! HELP!
image
image
Report Reply to Post

Re: WWYD: Baby Shower Etiquette

  • Loading the player...
  • jusmalejusmale member
    edited August 2014
    I suggest sending Thank You cards to everyone you get a gift from. I'm not sure if you had anything else in mind. My mom has a lot of friends that she has had for years and I have not met some of them. I am kind of expecting them to give me baby gifts just because of their relationship with my mom. If any of them do, I will send them a Thank You card and probably a picture of the baby or announcement.

    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • MsMacualMsMacual member
    hgielrebmik said:
    A few ideas...make sure that the cards stay with the gifts. Also, have someone write who gave what for you. I know pearl clutchers will say having guests address their own envelopes is tacky, but in your situation I wouldn't think twice about it as a guest, especially if you use the addressed envelopes as a drawing for a prize or something. Another suggestion would be to ask the hostess for a list of addresses from her invite list.
    I completely agree! Write everything down so if a card gets separated, you have a record of who gave you each gift.  Also, I get that some folks think that asking their guests to address an envelope is tacky, but honestly, it was super helpful.  My shower for my first was about 3 weeks before he was due and I literally was writing thank yous while I was in labor.  I'm fairly certain that they would not have gotten done had in not been for the pre address envelopes bc I didn't have the time or energy to hunt down addresses.  Call me tacky, if you want, but it was a completely practical and helpful thing for me as a FTM. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • bumpuser10309732bumpuser10309732 member
    I guess my initial worry was that these invitations were all handed out at work and personal addresses weren't used. I wonder if his HR lady can give me that kind of info because I want to do handwritten thank you notes. Also not sure DH will have much time in the next couple of weeks to be going out to all these places to hand out the thank yous himself, aside from the office, but I had that same thought. I might ask him about mail slots at work because some of the people have those...
    image
    image
    Report Reply
  • MsMacualMsMacual member
    Oh, yeah that is a problem.  I'd ask him if they have an employee mail room.  Otherwise, you might be able to get the addresses that you need by asking the person who organized the shower and then have the guests who attend address an envelope so you don't have to worry about your DH having time to run into the office to deliver thank yous. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • sl25219sl25219 member
    I personally see nothing tacky about having guests address their own envelope. You're already going to be writing so many thank you cards that it's unbelievable. I think most people would be very understanding of saving you a little time in addressing them. It's not like you're asking them to bring a self-addressed stamped envelope. You would provide the envelopes and stamps and they would just fill out their address.
    Report Reply
  • angeltennis3angeltennis3 member
    sl25219 said:

    I personally see nothing tacky about having guests address their own envelope. You're already going to be writing so many thank you cards that it's unbelievable. I think most people would be very understanding of saving you a little time in addressing them. It's not like you're asking them to bring a self-addressed stamped envelope. You would provide the envelopes and stamps and they would just fill out their address.

    I am with you. I have addressed an envelope at a shower and didn't bat an eye.

    What WAS tacky was my husbands cousin who had us address envelopes at the shower...then never sent them. Thanks...
    July Siggy Challenge: Fireworks Fails


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • hgielrebmikhgielrebmik member
    I was also thinking, that since you don't know all the guest very well, in order to thank the right person as you open the gifts, could you have the gift giver offer a word of parenting advice before opening each gift?  That way you have a face with a name.  (Then of course follow up with written thank you cards.)
                          
      image
         DD - 4/9/08      DS1 - 7/26/12     DS2 - 10/7/14


    Report Reply
  • Jennifer18131Jennifer18131 member
    hgielrebmik said:
    I was also thinking, that since you don't know all the guest very well, in order to thank the right person as you open the gifts, could you have the gift giver offer a word of parenting advice before opening each gift?  That way you have a face with a name.  (Then of course follow up with written thank you cards.)
    While I understand the thought and it's a good idea, the shower attendee in me would HATE this. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    ::two chest pumps and a peace sign for Jenn:: ~ MrsJudgeyPants 

    This is legal advice. Circa 2011 image
    Report Reply
  • bumpuser10309732bumpuser10309732 member
    I have no problem with addressing the envelopes myself. I think I'll discuss that with DH and the hostess and regroup! Then if I can't find the info, surely DH can sweet talk the HR lady into giving him addresses to fill in the blanks? Thanks for the input ladies! You have some great ideas. I'm really hoping that there aren't a bunch of people I don't recognize but considering how generous everyone has been to this point it's good to have other ideas on how to handle it.
    image
    image
    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    The last several showers I've attended, both baby and bridal, had the guests address their own envelopes. This did not bother me in the slightest. I say go for it!
    Report Reply
  • SaragoeswestSaragoeswest member
    I didn't realize the envelope addressing thing was tacky. I'm not going to do it, but I didn't mind the one time I was asked. Anyway, I second a PP; request the address list from the hostess and have someone write down the gifts and givers. Easy peasy.
    image


    imageimageimage
    Report Reply
  • MmylsaMmylsa member
    I agree that asking guests to address their own envelopes is tacky. I've done it at showers that I've attended before and there's just something lacking in receiving you own addressed envelope a few weeks later after you've gone out of your way for them. With that said, I have entered my address in an address book and a guest book that was passed around at a shower and had no issues. I knew what they wanted it for and appreciated that they took the effort to make sure they got it right. Like PP said, it's the little things that make the difference when etiquette is involved.
    Report Reply
  • bumpuser10309732bumpuser10309732 member
    Mmylsa said:
    I agree that asking guests to address their own envelopes is tacky. I've done it at showers that I've attended before and there's just something lacking in receiving you own addressed envelope a few weeks later after you've gone out of your way for them. With that said, I have entered my address in an address book and a guest book that was passed around at a shower and had no issues. I knew what they wanted it for and appreciated that they took the effort to make sure they got it right. Like PP said, it's the little things that make the difference when etiquette is involved.
    ohh awesome idea with the guestbook! Thanks ladies :-)
    image
    image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"