Too much weight gain....

bnt1023 · June 2016

So I went for my 27wk prenatal visit and the first thing my doctor said when she walked in was "well you've gained 10 lbs since your last visit, which is too much" she then went on for 10-15 minutes about what i should/shouldn't be eating.

My husband was in the room with us as i broke down and started balling. He knew about my eating disorder that i had prior to us dating, but she didn't. That is why it was so hard on me to hear.

So here are the facts. Pre pregnancy i weighed about 140 & am 5ft 8. I'm now 27 wks and weigh 165. Has anyone else had an experience like this with your doctor?

I know she's just trying to help, but dang.

ahackett1990 · June 2016

I'm sorry that your appointment didn't go great

I just had my 26 week appointment a couple days ago and I had a similar situation except my midwife didn't make such a big deal about it. I was about 142 pre pregnancy and I've already gained 23 lbs. I had lost about 60 pounds in the 3 years before I got pregnant so I was already not looking forward to gaining weight. So I was shocked when they told me what I've gained so far

I am eating healthy and exercising daily. My midwife told me as long as I keep doing what I'm doing then that's all she can ask of me. Some women are just much more susceptible to gaining weight during pregnancy regardless of their eating habits. I struggles with bulimia for about 5 years before I met my husband and it's really hard sometimes to stay in a positive place with my body image; especially when it's changing so quickly. Try to keep telling yourself THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY! I have to keep reminding myself that I will be able to feel like my old self shortly.

Cricket Bug · June 2016

I haven't had an experience like this, and to be honest I would have said something to her about the importance of tact and knowing your whole patient. There is a difference between trying to help and being a bully, and that distinction is hugely important. There are more important things in life than weight gain, especially right now.

AnnaS930 · June 2016

@bnt1023 - I'm sorry that this happened to you. At my 20 week appointment I had gained about 20 pounds and my OB told me that the weight gain was "significant" with a smirk and asked how such a small person can put on so much weight (I was around 140 pre-pregnancy). I explained to her how strict I am with my calories when not pregnancy just to maintain that weight (I've had some weight issues and significant body image issues in the past). Since then I have been struggling to see that a successful pregnancy is not measured by the numbers on the scale.

You've got this. The OB was out of line in the way that they responded. The weight gain of pregnancy is necessary and temporary. Keep doing an amazing and selfless job at growing that baby!

mhilpisch10 · June 2016

That sounds a bit harsh!! I am just 24 weeks today and I've already gained 18 pounds which is much quicker than my first two. And I got stretch marks on my thigh/butt for the first time!

I only gained 27 with my first and 23 with my second. (give or take a pound or two with both) at this rate I feel like I'm going to gain much more than that. It's more difficult than I thought it would be. I usually don't care that much and just accept that my body needs to do what it needs to do. It's a very emotional process.
I have 2 boys. I feel like this must be a girl!!

ansley0319 · June 2016

@bnt1023I honestly have had the opposite problem (which I'm not proud of) and think it's good to see these other moms like you gaining weight, sure you want to keep it healthy but it sounds like that's what you're doing to me !

I weighed 170lbs pre-pregnancy and am 5ft 4. I have never successfully lost weight and always been a medium sized person. I just don't have the discipline! I thought for sure when I got pregnant that I would blow up like a balloon but have been terribly sick the majority of the pregnancy. Now at 26w I weigh 168, I lost 13lbs in my first trimester. My doctor is not in the least concerned since my diet has changed (against my will, and love of french fries/bread) and says the baby is on track. I still feel nasty a lot of the time and still throw up a few times a week but I am constantly worried that my baby is too small or not growing since I barely look pregnant at all some days and other days it's just my stomach protruding slightly. Everyone keeps saying "you're all baby" and I hope that's true, that he is indeed growing and thriving.

If YOU feel like you're healthy and have the gain under control - I think kudos to you. I would rather that than have the worries of a baby not thriving.. whether or not it's all in my head.

rn1stbae · June 2016

I feel you. I've had a struggle with my weight too. I had zero nausea or morning sickness, instead just got mega bloated the first trimester. Like, 20 pounds the first trimester. I freaked out, I didn't have a scale at home so I didn't know how much I'd gained. I cried, bought a scale, was really blaming myself. Through the second trimester I haven't gained anything. My water weight has slowly been turning to baby weight. I've been a little more conscious about carbs and snacking. I'm still ahead of the curve, I'm 24 weeks and 20 pounds, but now I'm proud because I made a few changes and just kept my head up. I felt like I wasn't in control and that really bothered me. Fact is, I wasn't in control and there's only SO much we can do. I just accepted the fact that before pregnancy I was never one of those people who just naturally had a six pack and incredible ass, and during pregnancy I'm naturally not a person to only gain 20 pounds and wear shorts out of the hospital after birth! I've plateaued and that's all I can ask for. I've never really understood people that said "I can't lose weight!" Like, really, yes you can. But I get it a little more now. Hormones play a big part of it. Please please don't do what I did and get really depressed and down on yourself. Collect your thoughts and just move forward knowing that you can only cope with what happens in the future now. And screw anyone that gets on to you about an extra ten pounds. It's not like your gaining 90. This also helped me, can't remember where I read it, but some of our weight gain is genetic. We really have no need now a days to stock pile on weight like our ancestors did because we live in a civilized society. Our ancestors bodies stock piled weight as early as they could in case their mates couldn't go kill a boar the next month as a food source. My ancestors must have just been shitty hunters because my body freaked out and put on as much as it could straight away to last me for a few months.

Flowr4246 · June 2016

She sounds like an @$$hole. The weight gain that you're describing sounds totally normal for someone your size. Chica needs a lesson in tact and bedside manner.

Shiva14 · June 2016

This was me last pregnancy and I am about your size (138lbs pre pregnancy and 5"7). I was eating extremely healthy and ended up gaining 60 lbs. One of my doctors gave me such a hard time about it and accused me of eating junk all the time. All that weight turned out to be water and it came right back off. I am a huge believer that each body gains differently during pregnancy. If you're eating healthy and staying active, try to embrace it (easier said than done, I know).

Also, on a pretty ironic side note my diet is much worse this time because I don't have time to cook as much (read: takeout and freezer meals are now the norm), however I am gaining less weight. My doctors keep telling me how much better I am doing with my diet this time. I just roll my eyes internally.

erinmarie86 · June 2016

i started to get that talk a little bit with my last pregnancy...actually it was more along the lines of cutting sweets and my doc even told me that just because i passed my glucose test didn't mean i couldn't get GD still...which very well may be true but it was sorta rude how he said it.

Honestly i'm waiting for the weight talk this time around. I'm 5'6" and started off at 147lbs...at my last appointment (25 weeks) i'm basically 170lbs....so about 23lbs gained thus far...but she has yet to say a single word about my weight.

I'm not a doctor, and i know there is acceptable weight gain and what not...but at the same time your body is gonna do what it wants. Some people just put on extra weight. I'd try not to stress too much about it at this time.

AshleyB09042015 · June 2016

Wow... I started at 118 and Im 5'2 and Im about 145 right now. So Ive gained more then you and Im just over 27 weeks. My Dr has only made comments like "don't worry its all baby" or "its all in your belly". I guess some doctors are more picky then others.

CRich15 · June 2016

I would've definitely said something to her. I see your pre-pregnancy weight as completely normal and healthy. I was 133 at 5'5" and I have already gained 23lbs and the doc has said nothing, I'm grateful. I may have stopped caring about the scale in recent weeks because right now I'm all about being happy and comfortable. Every pregnancy is different and you will gain different amounts of weight with each one. This one for example, my boobs are HUGE and weigh a ton while my bump to me looks to me normal size for how far along I am. I'm so sorry to berated you like that and I still feel like it's not too late for you to kindly or not so kindly (pregnancy rage) inform her of your past and how she didn't need to berate you about your weight when you're hard enough on yourself as it is. Be happy and eat away!

TheTamedShrew · June 2016

GAH! I want to burn all the weight gain charts and bitch slap all the doctors that still nit-pick women over a few extra lbs.
You probably just went through a growth spurt. I put on 8 lbs last month, and the only five this month. I was 135 lbs pre-pregnancy and I'm 5'6. I just had my 28 week appointment today and I am 160, so I am right on the same growth curve you are. That's 25 lbs total for the pregnancy and I still have 12 weeks to go. I gained 40 with DD1 and she was a big baby (8 lb 15 oz) so I needed that extra fluff. It all came off within the first year. I remember being in a similar situation last pregnancy because I had gained 6 lbs between 28 and 30 weeks. It was just a growth spurt. My doctor was not concerned at all and just encouraged me to watch my carbs (only because I brought it up).

I know exactly how you feel and I think your doctor was completely out of line. My OB hasn't even mentioned my weight gain AT ALL. I would definitely let her know about your history and that her behavior was completely tactless. You were at a perfectly healthy BMI before pregnancy and are well within the normal range of weight gain. I just can't believe how insensitive some doctors can be.

hey_clever_girl · June 2016

I am sorry your doctor said that to you. IMO, your weight gain is not "too much." I am 26 weeks and have gained 20 pounds—but in the 5 weeks between my last two appointments, I gained 9 pounds. NINE POUNDS. In 5 weeks. At first I freaked, but then I realized I'm growing a human and tried to be kind to myself. Your body is working really hard. Try and remember to be easy on yourself. It's so hard not to feel bad about the weight gain, especially if you have a medical professional in your face saying things like yours said to you.

But IMO, you sound right about where you should be. Hugs mama!!!

ssimon621 · June 2016

I'm so sorry your doctor has given you a hard time. I have almost the same weight stats as you. Started out at about 142 and I am 169, I delivered at 169 last time so the number is hard for me to see.

My doctor hasn't said anything, but I did go about 6 weeks without gaining and then gained like 4 in 1.5 weeks. Last time I remember my weight coming on a lot in the beginning and really tapering off at the end. I think after 30 weeks I only gained 5lbs last time. Everyone gains differently and different bodies need different things. I'm hoping my weight gain tapers off again as I would like to stay within the 25-35lb weight gain again. Last time I gained 29lbs, and it came off in two weeks with breastfeeding.

SuperFudge00 · June 2016

I'm sorry about her lack of tact, but I also would have made her aware of your eating disorder during your first appointment.

Know that as long as the baby is growing well and you don't end up with gestational diabetes, your weight gain is unimportant. That's something that will melt off if you breast feed (some of the weight), and the rest you can look at as encouragement to be active with your newborn.

I held onto 15 pounds from last pregnancy. I had pounds to spare so this time I didn't gain much until recently. I'm lucky to have an OB who really promotes my self-image, despite reality.

Keep growing your baby, worry about the other stuff later.

sunshinern96 · June 2016

I am 27 weeks and have already gained about 30 lbs. With my first pregnancy I gained about 45 so it'll probably be the same this time. My doctor hasn't said anything to me about it though and I had a different doctor last time who also was not concerned at all. I do not eat excessively at all but like @AnnaS930 I eat a pretty calorie restricted diet when not pregnant to maintain my weight. When I'm pregnant, I eat like an average person does but I think for my body, that translates to a lot of weight gain. I did weight watchers to get the weight off last time and it worked great. I'll just be doing that again this time! I have really slowed down my weight gain in the past few weeks by just controlling portion sizes and not snacking as much. So I'm hoping maybe that will continue to help me through the end of the pregnancy. Overall, I would say don't worry about it! Some people just gain more weight than others during pregnancy. It could be a lot of water weight or you might have to work at it to get it off but it will come off in most cases!!

Sbrown721 · June 2016

Please keep in mind that there are also women that truly have trouble gaining weight. Does this make them "better" at pregnancy? No, of course not. These women can eat absolute crap their entire pregnancy and not exercise and, for all the doctor knows, they are doing a superb job.

I don't know when these weight charts were created, but I don't believe a weight chart is the proper way to gauge a healthy lifestyle during pregnancy.

kosmo86 · June 2016

I really don't think it is that bad and definitely not enough to be rude. At 28 weeks tomorrow I will be about 21 lbs gained and I was right under being considered overweight before being pregnant. My doctor told me how well I was doing last week. So it is hard for me to believe that 5lbs is the difference between doing horrible and doing great. In addition you are so much taller than me I am sure you look great (i'm only 4'11)

Plus I never trust the doctors scales and always weigh myself. If you go in wearing jeans after a big lunch and you last appt you had an am appt and wore leggings, this would also make a difference.

AnnaS930 · June 2016

@kosmo86 - I weigh myself first thing in the morning at home, completely nudie-patooty. And usually actually do better if I weigh myself after being awake for a couple hours (I shower later on days I'm home with my kiddo, as I wait for his nap). So even the lightest outfit at the doctor's office is worse than my scale at home. Since the scale is in the hall, I think they'd be a bit alarmed if I started stripping down before getting on - but I wish I could!!!

camichael84 · June 2016

I agree with everyone else. That doesn't sound like a bad amount of weight gain, and she was out of line. For me the weight has never come on steadily. With my first, I lost then I gained rapidly then I plateaued before rapidly gaining again in the last two weeks. My doctor was never concerned. Just keep doing you and growing your baby.

bnt1023 · June 2016

Thank you everyone for all of your responses and kind words. You all have made me feel so much better. Yesterday was rough for me and I'm feeling much better today, thanks to you all!

On a happier note...i passed my GD test today! Maybe now she'll back off a little lol

ab920 · June 2016

I'm 5'8 and gained 20 pounds at 25 weeks. My doctor said that was average for my height and I was doing perfectly. Sounds like we got conflicting advice!

nativetexan512 · June 2016

@bnt1023 I'm so sorry you are dealing with this.

One of the many reasons I love my doc - other than telling me how much weight was in the healthy range to gain, she has not once mentioned my weight, it's recorded and that's it. Maybe she will later, but for now I love her.

I gained a lot in the early 2nd tri and then plateau-ed for the last 3 weeks. From here, who knows! But I just ate an oatmeal cream pie and I want another one so...

Emillz5 · June 2016

Wow that is so rude of her. I'm 5'3" and pre-pregnancy I was 113 and at my 24 week appointment I weighed 134. I've never weighed this much in my life and it was shocking but I realize it's all for the baby. My doctor didn't say anything about it. Stay positive and just focus on your emotional well being for your baby for now.

mrsl0429 · June 2016

@bnt1023 you poor thing. It makes me so sad that after what you have been through with an eating disorder, a medical professional decided to lecture you. I hope that you were able to inform her of your past condition so this doesn't happen again (and so she feels bad).

What aalso makes me sad is that this sounds like a competitive thing, but I love that there is so much support on here for you.

I gained about 10 in the first trimester, and another 15 so far (I'll be 28 weeks on Monday). Breaking 165, a number I had NEVER seen on a scale before, was freaking heartbreaking. I cried and cried, and my sweet DH talked me down and reminded me that weight is good in this situation and it's not forever.

I KNOW it's hard, but try not to get sucked into that competitive spirit that comes along with pregnancy and parenting in general. Do what you can, but at the end of the day, if you and baby are healthy, screw everyone else.

I'm with the PPs who have had doctor's say nothing. At this point, I know it's a trigger for me and my anxious mind, so when I go in next week, I don't want to know what the scale says.

VeraMali · June 2016

I'm heavier than all of the ladies who have seemed to comment so far. I'm 5'5 and started this pregnancy at about 226 and weighed 245 at my appointment last week at 27 weeks. I've had a hard time the past few years losing weight due to some injuries and of course as soon as I got back on my feet this past summer and lost 20 pounds I found myself pregnant -.- But neither I or my Doctor is stressing over my 18lb weight gain even though I was already overweight. My blood work is good, my blood pressure is good, I don't seem to have signs of GD though my test isn't until the 22nd and baby looks very healthy. If the same can be said of you I cannot fathom why your Doctor thought it was appropriate to lecture you about that 10 lbs when you are STILL in a healthy weight range for pregnancy! If you were too emotional this time to do it I would certainly make a plan for the next appointment to sit your Doctor down and lecture her on how inappropriate she was with her attitude towards your weight gain. Sounds to me like it was all in her "opinion" of what you should and should not gain versus the actual fact on whether or not you and baby are healthy.

lickastick · June 2016

I'm glad so many ladies have shared their experiences to help normalize the weight gain that is a healthy part of pregnancy! I wanted to share one more thing, I definitely started this pregnancy overweight and probably technically obese, but my bone and muscles mass is really high for my weight, so BMI isn't accurate for me. When I spoked to my midwife about weight gain and how I wanted to stay between the 11-20 lbs for women who start "overweight" she set me straight! She told me that she would like to see me gain at least 25 lbs or more and if you think about it in the breakdown of what the weight is, it makes it easier to handle, at least for me. So without the extra maternal fat stores that is 25lbs of weight gain that is completely baby related.

Baby: 6-9 pounds

Placenta: 2 pounds

Amniotic fluid: 2 pounds

Uterine enlargement: 2 pounds

Maternal breast tissue: 2 pounds

Maternal blood volume: 4 pounds

Fluids in maternal tissue: 4 pounds

Maternal fat stores: 7 pounds

We also had a specific conversation that during weeks 20-28 she would like to see me gain 10-15lbs because that is when your blood volume doubles by 50%. You DOUBLE your blood volume! She has found that if the blood volume doubles in this time, that the weight gain in the 2nd tri leads to lower levels of pre-eclampsia and better outcomes for mom/baby overall. I was shocked when I heard this because no one ever talks about it.

We also specifically spoke about that the weight gain would not necessarily be slow and steady and that you could gain a lot in one week and then nothing, or it could be a pound a week. I love my midwife and the alternative information she has offered me throughout my pregnancy. Sure enough from weeks 20-27 I have gained 9lbs and I bet by 28 I'll be right at the 10lb mark. I think her having this conversation with me has really helped me to stay on track, accept this as normal and make healthy choices.

homebird · June 2016

With my first pregnancy I gained almost 50 lbs. I was very skinny to start out with but took the "eating for two" thing way too literally, lol. It was extremely difficult to get rid of all of that extra weight.

Second pregnancy I watched what I ate and still gained 45 lbs. Lost all of it after the baby pretty easily.

This pregnancy I am watching what I eat and have tried to work out / stay active as much as I can. I'm 27 weeks and have gained 15 lbs, so I think I'm a little better off, but who knows. For some reason near the end I tend to put on a lot more weight. I get bloated, so I imagine a lot of it is water weight or water retention? I dunno.

Anyway, if you're eating healthy and in moderation I wouldn't worry about it. I mean, your body is going to do it's thing and you're not supposed to be "dieting" so what else are you supposed to do?

berh2001 · June 2016

Everyone is definitely different. I gained 30 lbs with my son and I walked out of the hospital with 2 lbs of pregnancy weight to lose, that means 28 lbs was baby and water weight. I started this pregnancy a little heavier so I've been trying to a little more conscious about weight gain but more because I get terrible heartburn and my blood pressure goes up when I'm heavier. I've only gained 10 lbs so far at 26 weeks and Dr and I are shooting for less than 20 lb gain. Again it's totally for my personal health issues. Otherwise I would not even check the scale.

Do what you think is best for you.

rn1stbae · June 2016

I'm glad to be reading these honest confessions too. Lets think of it this way too: remember how happy and excited you were when you found out you were pregnant? And hearing that first heartbeat, and proudly walking out with a sonogram picture of your little jelly bean? Hold on to that! In that moment you weren't caring what you looked like for the next nine months, or how much you weighed at week 20 something, most of us were just so freaking excited that if a baby fairy had come along and bargained with us and said "but you'll gain 35,40,45,50 pounds!" We all probably would have signed the dotted line anyways!

jennlynn777 · June 2016

With each of my children I have gained more weight then recommended. I have a pretty good metabolism when I'm not pregnant but pregnancy just seems to shut that down. My normal weight is 135-140 lbs pre pregnancy. With my first I gained like 70lbs but lost it all within the first 3 months post pregnancy. Baby 2 I gained 45 lbs and lost it all within about 6 months. Baby 3 I gained 40lbs and lost it all in the first 3 months. My 4th I gained 40lbs and lost it within the first 6 months. With this one I have already gained about 25 lbs at 25 weeks. My point is every woman is different. Every pregnancy is different. You are only pregnant for 9 months of your entire life so just eat normal and enjoy your pregnancy. My body seems to gain exactly what it thinks it needs so I refuse to weight myself at home.

SimmyP23 · June 2016

These are almost EXACTLY my stats. From pre to current weight at 27 weeks. I gained 10 from my last appt also. I have weight/eating issues as well so I was shocked to see how much I gained in just a month. I don't even think I ate that outrageously so I was totally embarrassed but you know what baby is healthy and I'll try to be more mindful of what I eat moving forward.

mlpfieffer · June 2016

I have and I know how awful it can make you feel. Especially when your hormones are all over the place. Prior to getting pregnant I had lost 80 pounds, completed 4 IUI cycles and finally became pregnant after my first IVF cycle. After all of that, my doctor decided to get on me about my weight gain! My advice would be to block out the weight gain crap from your doctor and rub your baby belly. The weight will come off once baby comes!

Jillybear82 · June 2016

I got a similar lecture at my 16 week appointment. Don't worry about it, and keep doing what you are doing. My weight gain was not gradual. I gained 12 lbs before my 8 week appointment. After that I would stay at the same weight for 4 weeks, and then I would gain 5 lbs in a week. This cycle continued through to week 20. It tapered off after that. Don't worry, there is only so much control we have over our weight gain. Most of it is just our bodies doing what it's going to do.

sierrathebunny · June 2016

Your doctor may not have looked at the baby's growth before saying something too. I was 156 prior to pregnancy (but was also at the height of my training which is why my weight was ever that low) and at my 20 week ultra sound and appointment I had already gained 22 pounds and my doctor gave me the same speech. We just had another ultra sound this week (to check up on a health issue) and I was 27 weeks and have gained 30 pounds. I eat healthy and exercise so I wasn't excited to hear that "I'm gaining too much again" but when the doctor looked at me and then the ultra sound and saw that I wasn't gaining the weight anywhere but my belly and the baby is measuring a week ahead of where I am, she said that I was okay and that the weight is going to the baby.

So I'm sorry again for your doctor lacking tact, and please do your best to keep your chin up. I fully understand the weight struggle and just remember you are creating a miracle and that baby is not complaining.

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