TTC Check In

StacyLH24 · August 2014

Good morning everyone.

How is your/your partner's TTC journey progressing?

*Reminder - If you have a BFP to announce, please do so by creating a new thread for everyone on the board to see. Thank you*

****Could someone else please take over the TTC Check In? It doesn't have to be one person. It can be a different person each week, it really doesn't matter. I have been doing this since @ball.and.chain got her BFP that brought B into the world, with a small break back in March. I would greatly appreciate it.****

QOTW: What is your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?

channe9 · August 2014

It's been decisions, decisions around here. Of course, once we've made a decision we have to rethink it... We had decided to go the clinic/IUI route but it looks like we wouldn't get in until maybe October. So now I think we're going with ONE more at-home ICI with a new donor at the end of August. That is, IF my body cooperates since I've just gone and O'd on CD12 and THAT has never happened before...?! Still, certain fertility signs show that healthy eating, acupuncture, and more exercise are making my body more TTC-friendly. In summary, (probably) one more ICI and, If that doesn't work, on to IUI in October...

Living in Scotland, the question of the day is rather difficult to answer since rainy days are just... days. Haha. Going to the movies, staying in and watching films, naps -- all are good on rainy days!

Does anyone want to split taking on the TTC check-in with me?

JGY · August 2014

@channe9 - I can probably split duty with you on the TTC check-in.

@StacyLH24 - Thank you for taking the reins for so long! We'll get it done as of next week Monday.

Well my body may have confused fertility friend, but the signs are clear as day to me. I should ovulate later this week, so I started to pee on OPK sticks just in case the timing is a bit different with my PP body. I'm hoping for a normal JGY-pattern, and then some robust conversation with S about whether we move forward or not.

My Sister visited this weekend and we had a nice conversation about TTC and some of my feelings about it. I've been really questioning if it would be the right decision or not. Am I being selfish? I already have one healthy, active, amazing child. Can we afford it? If so, SHOULD we? Or should we use that money for G, or a new home, or something else? Would my family feel overwhelmed with the request/opportunity to love another child this much? Do they have the space in their hearts for that? Do I? Does S? Oh, and how on EARTH would I manage to parent two, when I can barely parent this one?

We also talked about what happens if/when we aren't able to conceive. Or what happens if we conceive and (since I'm paranoid about my AMA) there is something seriously wrong with the baby. Or there are babieS.

Anyway, the conversation went well. And it was nice to air some of those concerns.

QOTW: I like to cook on rainy days. I also like to lounge on the couch and watch sports on TV. I also looooove to sleep. Our bedroom is on the second floor, and you can hear rain drops on the roof, it's soooo soothing.

Have a great week, everyone!

StacyLH24 · August 2014

@channe9 & @JGY - Thank you. I really appreciate it.

This is probably going to be my last check in for a little while. Here's the raw truth of it...

I'm having a really hard time with the fact that our first IVF cycle didn't work. Throughout the process, I tried to be as realistic about it as possible, knowing that it doesn't work for everyone. It was still a huge blow. Though we do have one fresh cycle left, there is no guarantee that it will produce anything to transfer. So it is a possibility that this FET cycle could be our last, if we transfer both at the same time. I'm waiting to discuss with our RE if we should transfer one or both. I mentioned it to the nurse on Friday and she said that it was a discussion we could have.

We took a huge gamble when we decided to embark on IVF. We started thinking about it back in January and struggled with finally making the decision to switch. I was hopeful and I did have a renewed sense of hope when we officially started IVF. I honestly do not have that hope anymore, at least not right now. Taking this gamble has tapped us out financially.

Could we get a take home baby out of this, yes, we might. We also might not and this is weighing on me.

C mentioned to someone off hand last night that she would try to carry if it came to it. This has opened a whole can of worms, emotionally, for me that I didn't even want to touch. I want to be the one to do this. I want to carry and give birth. She said today that she really does not want to.

I suppose that we could always go back to IUIs, but I'm not sure if it would be worth it. If there was a RE's office closer, that would make a huge difference for us.

I'm exhausted from this journey and I'm scared that it just isn't going to work out as we had hoped. We are lucky in many ways, and I try to keep that in mind when I'm feeling like this. Right now, my empty uterus outweighs those thoughts. I'm angry, I'm scared, I'm depressed and I just want to hibernate from the world.

I'm going to take a break from here for a bit. I just don't have it in me right now to participate. Thank you again to everyone...your support has been so helpful.

Himee33 · August 2014

@StacyLH24‌ I can help also. Thanks so much for taking it over!

I had an appointment with my RE today. The usual b/us. I also have the same appointment tomorrow morning. Things are looking good. A few of my follicles went from a 10 Saturday morning to a 16 today! I believe I have about 13 so far and a couple 11s that I'm hoping will grow before retrieval. Tomorrow we should have an exact day to do the Lupron trigger shot.

I've been feeling kinda crappy lately. Migraine since last week. I'm also doing Menopur 150 in the morning, my Gonal F 450 in the evening and added Ganirelix also. My ovaries hurt and making my lower back hurt also. Thankfully I'm almost done with my shots! The retrieval will be later this week and we have the option to do our FET either on 9/17 or wait till October. I would like to do the FET in October and L really wants 9/17. The only reason I want to wait is because we can pick the day which means a Saturday so we won't have to take a day off work.

QOTW: I like to be lazy, cuddle up on the couch with a blanket and watch some television. Either our DVR shows or Netflix.

JGY · August 2014

@StacyLH24 - Sending major hugs your way. I'm so sorry that you two are going through this. Those concerns are real, and I think many people go through some level of that during IF. But I don't say that to discount how incredibly difficult it can be. You know we support you in taking whatever time you need away from TB. And we will be here to actively support you if and when you return.

mallory4284 · August 2014

@StacyLH24‌ it's definitely rough when you go the IVF route. I went through the same thing after our second unsuccessful IVF (and my doctor had me very hopeful for that one because we transferred two and he said they looked a lot better than the first transfer so It was doubly hard when it didn't work)

take time for yourself and C and you'll know when you're ready again!

mallory4284 · August 2014

AF is finally gone. So that's a plus, but the sadness about our first ICI hit me a little late this time. I was fine when I started my period and for a couple days after.... But Saturday I had a family reunion and when my cousin showed up with her 3 mth old, I almost had a breakdown. I literally started tearing up and had to go to the bathroom to compose myself before anyone noticed that I was getting upset. And then I avoided the baby (and my cousin) for the rest of the day.... And now I feel guilty about it.

I don't know if it's just because I was hormonal because of my period or if it's because she announced her pregnancy like two weeks after our first failed IVF (i would have been due in June had it worked) so seeing the baby was like a slap in the face that we've had so many failures....

And now all of a sudden I'm having so many second thoughts and worries about if this is even the right thing. I know in theory the ICIs are cheaper so it's not as much a financial thing as a "how many times can i put myself through this" thing.... But my most recent worry is that we're not going to be successful with home inseminations and we're going to have to go back to the fertility doctor to see if there's really something keeping this from happening or if it's all been a timing thing (I have this fear that my eggs are bad and they're going to come back and tell me that I'll never be able to have my own baby)

Anyway, enough complaining.... Today is CD5 and I did my first morning of temping. I hope I did it right. I'm not positive I had a full three hour block of sleep before I temped because of course I was up and down all night... I'm hoping the temping goes well the next couple of months though so we can figure out a good time schedule for our next ICI....

jocie626 · August 2014

@StacyLH24 I know i have just started posting in the ttc check in but i read it every week. I just want to say thank you for taking over the check in. Keeping you all in my thoughts.

So its my cycle day 27/28 because its actually after 12am here. My wife had me take a pregnancy test (Dollar General brand 1.00 one) yesterday and it was negative. Shes extremely disappointed even though i told her it was to early i have a 28 to 32 day cycle. I have told her since the craziness with our donor that i thought it was to early and that we wouldnt be pregnant but shes insisting because im not my normal premenstrual self lol. I told her i took the test she asked me to but that if i didnt start by Friday that i would get an early pregnancy test and test Saturday morning. I dont want her to be disappointed but man all i feel is im letting her down. If its negative like i suspect we are probably not doing this again til January. booo

JGY · August 2014

@jocie626 - can you remind us how many days post insem you are?

I totally feel you on her disappointment and the pressure. I think that because it's not her body and there's absolutely nothing she can do (not like there's anything you can do either, but it feels different), that somehow testing is the only thing she can have control over. Does that make sense? It doesn't help you any, but maybe helps you understand her drive and motivation. Either way, it's hard stuff. Hang in there!

Himee33 · August 2014

@StacyLH24 I totally understand how you guys feel. I needed to take a break from TB after our CP. It's emotionally draining and you guys should take all the time you need. We will be here when you're ready to come back! Big hugs to you and C!

@TwoMomsInTX Sounds like we are on the same path! I have about 13 follicles right now. All are above a 15 expect 2. Looks like the ER will be Thursday or Friday. I was just telling my wife about your CMV status and we both didn't know what that was. We Googled it. I'm not even sure I know what our donor is. Maybe we were told early on and forgot. What I like most about our RE is she doesn't complicate things. There is a chance she just never told us. Now I kinda want to ask her tomorrow. I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you guys!

@Crazyaunt84 Fingers crossed for your TWW!

@mallory4284 Failed IUIs, ICIs, and IVFs can be really emotionally draining. If for some reason this round doesn't work maybe it would be a good idea to see an RE and figure out what is all happening. I'm sorry you had a hard time at your family reunion. After my successful IVF ended at 5.5 weeks due to a CP, I had a good friend that same day announce her pregnancy and she was 6 weeks. It was like a slap in the face and I still get sad when she talks about it on FB every week, but I'm happy for her. I will be keeping my fingers crossed that this round works for you!

jocie626 · August 2014

@JGY‌ According to my fertility friend im 16 days past insemination. 14days past ovulation. Im supposed to have started AF today. On the fertility friend it suggest testing on the 10 th. I completely understand thank you so much for that input.

Want a personalized experience?

TTC Check In

Re: TTC Check In

Choose Another Board

Search Boards