AW: 1st IVF Cycle Cancelled, now 2nd Attempt Delayed.

ChristieH917 · August 2014

I have to vent because my hubby just doesn't understand. So for my 1st cycle I started my stims as scheduled. I got the monitoring appointment on the 7th day of stims and the ultrasound nurse told me that I had 4 great looking follicles and that depending on hormone levels the ER would be the following Tuesday or Wednesday. Later that afternoon, I received a phone call from the other nurse and she said that my estrogen was too low. It should have been about 800, but I was only just under 300.

Now on to this cycle, which was never a cycle, the clinic that I go to only does IVF in groups. So, with the low estrogen in previous cycle, my RE had planned for me to be on 4 weeks of Estrace and then adding Prometrium for the last week then go back to just Estrace for 2 weeks to line me up with the group. I am learning that my body does not like plans. It chooses to do what it wants. After the Prometrium, AF did not show up as planned. So the second round of Estrace was cancelled and I was put back on the Prometrium for another 10 days to keep me in line with the August group for my clinic. Once again, my body didn't follow the plan and AF showed up while I was on the Prometrium. I called the RE office to find out what to do and I was told that they will not be able to get my lined up with the August group so I will have to be delayed until September.

I am well aware that part of the problem is my stress level. We are trying to buy a house and should close within the next two weeks. I called my hubby when he got off work to tell him that the realtor said we should be able to close soon and that the nurse called and delayed my cycle. When I got home he says to me "you don't sound very excited about the house". I told him that I am excited about the house, but frustrated with my body and this cycle being cancelled. He got all irritated with me and told me that it is my stress that is doing this. He said that I need to stop thinking all of the time and just live life for once. I know my stress isn't good, but I am not usually a stressed out person. I can't figure out why he said that. I do live life and I don't plan everything.

tifga · August 2014

You shouldn't blame yourself or your stress for this. Maybe your body just doesn't take kindly to being told what to do, I know mine didn't.

And I am sorry your husband said something insensitive, I just think boys don't get it.

((((hugs))))

tifga · August 2014

On behalf of my husband, and men, he is truly sorry.

StacyLH24 · August 2014

I'm sorry that you're getting delayed now. The waiting is never fun. Maybe your husband is also disappointed and it just isn't coming across that way?

gnl42 · August 2014

I know how you feel. My first cycle was cancelled bc I ovulated on my own prior to trigger. The second attempt worked, but had to be a freeze all due to concern for late onset OHSS. The FET got delayed due to a thin lining (and is currently ending in what is likely a chemical pregnancy).

Nothing about IF is ever fair. It really, really sucks to be delayed and/or cancelled. But... It is so out of our control. All we can do is try to look forward to the next step and hope for the best. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this too. Hang in there. I honestly don't think your stress level has anything to do with it. Of course, it would be nice if we could be less stressed for our own mental health - but the stress is not the cause of these disappointments.

Sigh202 · August 2014

So frustrating. Hugs.

mrscsw · August 2014

I am so sorry. ((hugs))

IF is not fair. Our bodies are often our true nemesis. Men will never understand all that we go through during IVF. They do their business in a cup and are done. We have to get or bodies ready and be stress-free, which is impossible.

Canuck13 · August 2014

I'm sure your husband didn't mean to come across so harsh but I have found that sometimes men (okay, MY man...just so I don't generalize here) do not express their OWN stress very well, and maybe he was taking it out on you a little, which of course isn't fair! Overall, we ladies can certainly empathize with your disappointment in the cycle being delayed. Of course if you also feel that "part of the problem is (your) stress level" then it might end up being a positive thing the cycle is delayed until things with the house are settled and you can just focus on your IVF without worrying about other things...sorry your husband was a bit of a Fruitloop Dingus though (Big Brother reference) lol

Sunny B · August 2014

I'm so sorry for your cancellations. Of course you are stressed. Don't beat yourself up about it. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.

airidh80 · August 2014

Whoa. No. Not okay. Your stress level is not causing this, and it is super not-cool that your husband said that.

Women in war-torn countries have normal cycles and get pregnant. Women in refugee camps have normal cycles and get pregnant. The stress from buying a home did NOT cause your IVF cycle to be delayed.

The fact is, when you try to manipulate a woman's cycle to keep her "in line" with a doctor's schedule, rather than just working around her own natural rhythms, the risk of failure rises exponentially.

I'm sorry, this just gets under my skin. Blaming stress for this is one hop-skip-jump away from saying, "Relax, and it'll happen," which is basically the worst thing you can say to a woman with IF.

Hugs. I hope you can reschedule quickly.

ChristieH917 · August 2014

Let me start with saying that TB sucks on the Kindle Fire. I can only type if I pull out the laptop. So I am sorry that it took me so long to reply.

@tifga I know that boys don't get it. That is why I had to talk to you ladies.

@StacyLH24 I know that he is disappointed too, I know that he shows it differently.

@gnl42 I am a very type A personality. I do prefer to be in control and it bothers me that I have no control over this.

@Sigh202 It is very frustrating. Thanks for the hugs.

@cwoodward777 I wanted to come back and tell him that. It was just better for me to say nothing. He has no clue what I am going through for this. He was complaining when the RE said that he may have to redo the SA.

@Canuck13 I am really think he is more concerned about having the house thing done before the IVF. I know that he didn't mean to be so harsh.

@SunnyB Cancellations do suck. I am not really beating myself up too much about this one. At least I hadn't started stimming this time.

@Hoping4LO I really kinda wish I could at least get a second opinion. Unfortunately, I am an HMO and I would be out of pocket if I went with a different RE. I want to at least get through a full cycle before I decide to get a second opinion.

@airidh80 I agree with you, it is not my stress level that is causing this. I will be rescheduling very soon and I can't wait.

pblge · August 2014

I'm so sorry. (((hugs))) Agree with much that has been written before, but I want to emphasize that you should NOT be blaming yourself or your stress levels for things going awry. Be as gentle as you can about this process, including not stressing about stressing. I've had to ask my OH for a little bit more leeway during all this (of course it just keeps going and going and going) because the female partner bears 90% of the burden, and it blows. Your OH may benefit from the same request.

Hope the delay doesn't last long!

ChristieH917 · August 2014

Thanks @pblge I am not blaming myself for this one at all. Life is life. I think I will get through the whole house thing and then maybe make that request of him.

ChristieH917 · August 2014

@baby_blessings I really hate this whole group thing too. I didn't even know about until after I started stimming for my first attempt. I just happen to line up perfectly with that group.

I do really like my RE and his staff. The whole "group cycle" thing is the only issue that I have had so far. With my insurance, they do pay 100% for IVF with small co-pays. I am not exactly sure how the insurance works if I don't like the one that I was referred to. I believe I will be OOP if I change. I am going to see how the September cycle goes and then decide if I need to change.

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AW: 1st IVF Cycle Cancelled, now 2nd Attempt Delayed.

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