Worst advice given to you as a mom?

sjn00 · August 2014

So im pretty irritated right now.. Home alone and with a headache and added stress from insurance.. I was thinking a lot about the advice that was given to me before I had my LO...

So lets share the worst advice you were given and your current responce to it!!

"Sleep when your baby sleeps"

Oh really?? Is that before or after I am bouncing on a ball or walking around the house to keep her alseep because she wants to sleep in my arms... With movement!! This false statement led me to believe I had hopes in actually getting sleep if I wanted as long as baby was asleep. WRONG!

Okaayyy readyyy GO!!

sm623 · August 2014

DH's grandmother suggested making LO cry it out to put her to sleep because LO was going through her first leap and would only sleep in my arms. She's 5 weeks old. I'm not going to let her CIO. I can't wait for her to hear that LO slept 5 hours two nights ago and 4 hours last night after I rocked/nursed her to sleep.

elsa1688 · August 2014

My little sister (who has no kids) told me to give J semi frozen breast milk- like a slushie - to cool him down.

JmeJoLee83 · August 2014

I got a lot of dumb comments too...
"A baby is a lot of work" and "a baby will change everything". No shit I thought running on 3 hours of sleep, cluster feeding til my nips are sore, smelling like spit up and dealing with colic would be a breeze.

Read247 · August 2014

I hate when people say: "enjoy it while he's little. It doesn't last long." I don't enjoy the newborn stage. My nipples hurt, I'm always covered in breast milk, I'm sleep deprived, and he needs to be held constantly or else he cries. The fact that he's tiny doesn't make up for those things. I like when they're sturdier and sleep through the night.

Also "you spoil him by holding him so much." 1 - you can't spoil a newborn and 2 - if I don't he cries. The lack of sleep has caused me to have daily migraines and I can't take the crying. It's like nails on a chalkboard.

PressLove · August 2014

DH told me that I let LO sleep to much and proceeded to keep her up for hours before her bedtime. She got her second wind and he went to bed.

sjn00 · August 2014

@read247 totally agree! I hate the newborn stage and ready for her to be independent enough where she can sit or lay by herself so I can play with her and not holding her 24/7!!

We're in the same boat with the crying and wanting to be held. i hope it ends soon!!

PressLove · August 2014

DH told me that I let LO sleep to much and proceeded to keep her up for hours before her bedtime. She got her second wind and he went to bed.

Unknown · August 2014

This content has been removed.

puttyeast · August 2014

Definitely the keep baby awake during the day advice. The better naps during the day, the better the nights.

Also, one if MIL's friends told us to not hold him too much or he'll cry all the time. Really? Really??

katekat8721 · August 2014

Another vote for "keep them up during the day to wear them out".

How about noooo.

chloephoebecali · August 2014

I actually slept while dd1 slept but that was when she was a little older and more predictable. I can sometimes do it now, but it usually means I'm holding her and we are cosleeping.

Its been suggested to try CIO, because it worked for mil with my sil when she was 3 weeks or so...

LaurelJoy91 · August 2014

snuff9861 said:

Another vote for sleep when baby sleeps. Uhh I need to eat, shower, clean, wash bottles etc.

(after I had to give up on breastfeeding)--> You'll enjoy the freedom of not being tied down 24/7 to LO, your nipples are so lucky. Thanks asshats.

My parents are trying to get us to let DS CIO. Uhhh not yet, he's still so little. When he's able to self-soothe I'll consider it. Their thinking is that my brother and I were left to CIO and we turned out ok. Ugh.

Exactly! LO takes approximately 4 one hour long naps throughout the day. That's four hours per day to divide between showering, cooking/eating lunch, doing laundry, cooking/eating dinner, washing dishes, keeping the rest of the house clean, and maybe somewhere in there spending a bit of time catching up on here or otherwise doing something relaxing for myself. If I tried napping, nothing would get done. Nothing gets done as it is! The worst was when H accused me of not knowing how to manage my time wisely and saying it wouldn't hurt to just let LO cry for a while so that I can clean/cook. Says the person who spends all evening playing video games instead of helping....

irenewslee · August 2014

"Do not rock or swing a baby to sleep in your arms bc you will spoil her." How about you come to my house at 2am while she cries because she is tired but fights to fall asleep?

Another one is "Dont pick her up when she cries so she learns not to do it to get attention." Really? As far as I know, I have not met a child who smiles when she is hungry or tired.

And the "sleep when the baby sleeps" too... I did it for about a month when mom was around and I was recovering. But as you ladies know, thats the only time to eat lunch, prep for dinner and do some light cleaning while tip toeing around the house and praying hard that the LO wont wake up after 20 mins.

Pahialii · August 2014

Suggestion to my comment that LO hates her crib (so currently doesn't sleep in it) was to let her CIO and put blankets all around her and make a wedge so she feels more snug.

The sleep when LO's sleeping - especially instead of doing the frivolous thing of taking a shower. Meanwhile, we are just getting out of a wonder week (phew) and so yesterday I finally showered for the first time in awhile.... (Sorry tmi). DH came home and "complimented" me of finally not smelling like spoiled milk. Ummm thanks?

flerlgirl · August 2014

"Kids are great. Have another."

I kid, I kid. Kind of.

babygabe614 · August 2014

DH has suggested letting LO CIO several times now and every time makes me more ragey. She is five weeks old. She is going to cry. Get over it.

curlylocks3 · August 2014

shiggybop said:
Ugh my in laws are here right now and tell me that he's hungry every time he cries...No- babies fucking cry. It's what they do.

My ILs are all about this. They seriously think every time a baby cries it's because he/she is hungry. They are also big fans of saying that I don't feed them enough, hence why they are small. You're right, totally wasn't because they were a) early and b) small when they were born.

JujuB22 · August 2014

Single male friend with no children told us we should let ds CIO all night so that he sleeps through the night. Umm nope.

My dad, "You should water down his formula so he isn't so bound up" Ummm dad I don't give him formula....(My dad is very uncomfortable about breast feeding and even just the milk, so I think he is in denial about what ds actually drinks.)

Here are some gems from MY.SEVEN. YEAR. OLD. DD.

"You should put his car seat in the middle because its safer" (Won't fit next to her booster seat)

"You should probably start getting a bottle ready because he will be hungry soon" (After I just fed him and put him down to sleep)

"My stepmom uses the Honest Company, you should too"

"Do you really have to have your shirt off? You should cover up." (I almost never wear a shirt at home anymore because I'm either pumping or nursing)

"You should put toys on the carseat like my stepmom does so that DD has something to play with"

"His car seat straps are too loose"

"YOU GAVE HIM FORMULA?!!!" (One of the few times I did have to supplement)

This is what I can remember off the top of my head. I have to constantly tell my dd to quit mothering me, I'm mom, I got this. She's survived 7 years right? When I tell her to knock it off she gets really upset and I feel bad, but it drives me crazy. She has a 6 month old halfsister and thinks she is a baby expert.

This wasn't advice from dd but kind of threw me for a loop:

"I hope P (my ds) marries O (dd's baby halfsister) so that we are all one big family"

@-)

RedMar · August 2014

"Put water in your 3-week old's bottle"

Ummm no thanks to any additional green shit, baby needs as much fat as he can get right now.

kassidybl · August 2014

I have some good gems from my MIL.

1) It's perfectly ok to resent your baby. All moms do.

2) Stop night feedings once he weighs 9lbs. They do not need them at that point. (DS weighed 9lb 1oz at birth)

3) Put him in a crib so he can cry at night without waking you. You need your sleep. (We bed share and sleep wonderfully, tyvm)

Edited because my phone hates words..

PressLove · August 2014

I love the suggestions by inquiry. My MIL asked three times why we don't give LO water. We tried ignoring the comment, but she made us address it head on.

diagonalley · August 2014

RedMar said:
"Put water in your 3-week old's bottle"

Ummm no thanks to any additional green shit, baby needs as much fat as he can get right now.

My mom just said to me today about giving DS a bottle of water in between feedings. What purpose would that serve exactly? He's not generally fussy, just likes to be held, which you'd have to do anyway if you were giving him a bottle.

Read247 · August 2014

ktmama said:
Grandma asked if we have water and cereal. She also said we should let her cry.

Mil said I should shake my boob before nursing...and gave me a demo. Awkward!

I hope she didn't demo with YOUR boobs.

jacksoha · August 2014

My MIL asked if we have been giving LO water. When DH asked why we would she said "well she might be thirsty!" Does she not know that breast milk comes in liquid form?
Also my mom keeps suggesting the CIO method because that's what she did for me. I've had to nicely tell her that I'm not comfortable with that.

rainbowdashh · August 2014

My mil loves to tell me how I shouldn't let my kids take over my life, that I was a wife before I was a mother. Well guess what lady? Before I was a wife, I was just me. She's so concerned about my relationship with her son, but seems to forget that I'm a person too.

IlliniQT · August 2014

My MIL said we should try and space out LO's feedings so he gets used to not eating so much....ummm what? He's EBF, he's going to eat a lot during the day -- either that or he'll be up all night.

I also HATE sleep when the baby sleeps -- if I take a "cat nap" and get woken up by DS, I wake up groggy and crabby. Plus I feel like I never got any peace and quiet to myself.

Oh, and then there's the typical grandma advice - it's hot outside, he needs water or he'll get dehydrated, and let him cry a little, it's good for him to learn how to self soothe.

mrscbrad · August 2014

All of these. MIL tells me we swaddle too much and that's why he has baby acne. You know, bc it's not caused by hormones. I guess I'm secretly wrapping our 13 year old at night too? She also says "something must be wrong with him" because he cries less than 5 min a day. Definitely, it's not that he's a happy, healthy baby with responsive parents.

Of course DH has been begging me to switch to formula since day one even though I only pump 4 times a day and get 30-40 oz. A) it's free

I'm lucky enough to be able to produce for our son and he responds well to my milk C) my boobs, my choice D) what's the difference besides the 80 min a day I pump? I even have a hands free bra so I change diapers, feed DS, and fold laundry while I pump.

JujuB22 · August 2014

kassidybl said:

I have some good gems from my MIL. 1) It's perfectly ok to resent your baby. All moms do. 2) Stop night feedings once he weighs 9lbs. They do not need them at that point. (DS weighed 9lb 1oz at birth) 3) Put him in a crib so he can cry at night without waking you. You need your sleep. (We bed share and sleep wonderfully, tyvm) Edited because my phone hates words..

#1 WTF?!!! Your poor DH, how did he survive?

JujuB22 · August 2014

ktmama said:

Grandma asked if we have water and cereal. She also said we should let her cry. Mil said I should shake my boob before nursing...and gave me a demo. Awkward!

My milkshake brings all the boys to yard....

seb827 · September 2014

Yes, I was told this, too! And I tried; for the love of Pete, I TRIED! But most often, my son would only nap for maybe 20 minutes, so by the time I got him settled and then laid down, he'd be up and fussing again! So I learned to just manage. And at least REST when he napped. Even if it was just lying on the couch, watching TV for a bit. That was helpful. Now I'm back to work and there's no time for naps, so it's a moot point! I was never a napper to begin with so that was a struggle to even TRY to get myself to nap. Oh, well. Those days are long gone!

But I think the worst "advice", if you could call it that, that I got was, "Oh, he's just colicky. He's just a fussy baby." Fast forward 15 weeks, several visits to the pediatrician, a script for Zantac, several formulas, discontinuing breast milk, and many, MANY hours of dealing with a screaming, red-faced, stiff, sweaty, arched-back infant later (whew), our son has been diagnosed with GERD and possibly Milk Protein Intolerance. Now, I've posted about this a few times before. But it's simply because I still feel guilty about not going with my "new mom" gut instinct. I knew from DAY ONE that there was something wrong with my son. And yet, all I was told by a *certain* family member was he was colicky, fussy, a difficult baby, and just to wait it out. "It'll pass!", she said. BS!!!! Had I just "waited it out", my son probably would've had esophageal damage, would've continued to lose weight, and probably would've been in the hospital. So, the moral of this story is: LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCTS, MOMS!!! You know your babies better than anyone! Even if you're a FTM and are still trying to figure out this new, amazing, scary, screaming bundle of joy!

sjn00 · September 2014

CAMag said:
When baby is choking, blow in his face so that he is forced to breathe. Uhmmm, if LO could breathe, he would. Blowing in his face is just mean! Lol. People.

I do this when my little one chokes and it actually really works and helps her. It forces her to swallow and that allows whatever she is choking on (usually saliva from her reflux) to move back down the right way. But I wouldnt do it to her for no reason.

sjn00 · September 2014

CAMag said:

SaraJoy00 said:

CAMag said:
When baby is choking, blow in his face so that he is forced to breathe. Uhmmm, if LO could breathe, he would. Blowing in his face is just mean! Lol. People.
I do this when my little one chokes and it actually really works and helps her. It forces her to swallow and that allows whatever she is choking on (usually saliva from her reflux) to move back down the right way. But I wouldnt do it to her for no reason.
Probably not a great idea, @SaraJoy00‌. I'm not a doctor, but I would think that blowing on a baby while gagging on saliva could actually cause him/her to aspirate. Also, imagine taking a drink of water and it goes down the wrong pipe. Would it help you to breathe if DH blew in your face?

We were told by her doctor to do this. It causes her to swallow so the saliva goes back down instead of up and into her air way.
And of course husband wouldn't blow in my face. I know how to correct a problem if I am choking. Where as a baby doesn't

coffee89 · September 2014

There was a woman at the DMV that old me tickling my babes feet would scare him and cause life long trauma....I kept tickling.

My MIL informed DH that if I left LO alone with my toddler niece that she would accidentally squeeze LO to death so they needed to be monitored at every moment together.

It's normal to not love your husband after having a baby, because you have to be mommy and wife and they don't have to do anything and obviously being a mommy wins that battle.

lest12 · September 2014

My boss told me it was a good thing I was coming back to work, because if not than all I would have to talk to my husband about would be the baby, and that would be bad for our marriage. Sorry, SAHMs. According to my (female) boss, your marriage is screwed.

coffee89 · September 2014

Apparently I must hate my husband because we both put Zach first and I stay at home all day playing with a baby in my pajamas while DH does real work. How dare I mention it being hard for me when DH is doing real work? Daycare costs aren't that bad after all, so I must be a SAHM by choice, not because I can't justify the cost.

I had a childless "friend" say that one.

fsumom · September 2014

My stepmom meant well I'm sure but she suggested that my breastmilk was possibly not good enough since DS lost too much weight after birth. She was persistent I give him formula. I did end up supplementing a little formula for a week or two and then I started supplementing with pumped breastmilk. DS started essentially nursing August 26th at almost 3 months old so it just took him a while to be efficient! It appears my milk is just fine!

texasmama2014 · September 2014

Told a co-worker that baby was fussy all afternoon, she suggested she was allergic to my milk, and that she needs solid food. No. Sometime babies cry. Especially during growth spurts.

elsa1688 · September 2014

@Rachel5130‌ that's crazy talk. Does it still hurt though? Because it really shouldn't at this point

elsa1688 · September 2014

Rachel5130 said:

elsa1688 said:
@Rachel5130‌ that's crazy talk. Does it still hurt though? Because it really shouldn't at this point
@elsa1688‌ - Yes, even with a shield. P is really tongue tied so I have milk blisters and sores all over.

I'm sorry lady

I am so not trying to tell you what to do, I just don't want you to be in pain! I know for me, seeing a couple different LCs made a huge difference. I really clicked with one and she was able to really help me.

jacksoha · September 2014

@Rachel5130‌ I'm sorry your pedi sucks! Could you switch doctors? I didn't like the first pediatrician we took LO to so I switched when she was two months old, with no problem. I LOVE our new doctor and feel so much more comfortable there!

Want a personalized experience?

Worst advice given to you as a mom?

Re: Worst advice given to you as a mom?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards