I was having a fairly normal pregnancy, I'm young and healthy and so was baby. We found out we were having a boy, best day of our lives
Today at 23 weeks and 3 days I gave birth to that beautiful boy. He didn't even make it through the delivery. He was so perfect, I don't understand. What did I do wrong? It must have been me. I feel like I failed him. The one thing I was meant to do right now, keep him safe inside until he was developed, I couldn't even do. I don't know where to go from here. How do you live through this?
Re: We lost our son
BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
Too beautiful for this earth
BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
I'm so sorry for your loss of your beautiful baby boy.
You did nothing wrong. A terrible thing happened but you did everything you were supposed to and everything you could.
I don't know how any of us live through this. We just carry on the best we can. That's all you can do. I'm so sorry you have to go through this!
I hope this board is as helpful to you as I have found it to be these last four months.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. I hope you can find peace and not blame yourself, but I completely know the guilt you are feeling. I went into pre-term labor with my daughter last year at 22 weeks 2 days and she too died during delivery. My PTL was due to incompetent cervix and/or chorio (infection) so there was nothing wrong with her, my body just couldn't keep her in and she was too tiny to survive in this world.
Even today, a year and four months later I still question the senselessness of it all. I don't know if I would feel any different if there had been something wrong with her, something that would keep her from being able to survive, but there wasn't. She was perfectly healthy and could have made it to term had it not been for the fact that I couldn't protect her, and as her mother, and that being my number one job that my body failed at, her loss was so hard for me to accept.
The guilt lessens over time, but I am not sure it will ever be completely gone. When your body doesn't do the very thing it is supposed to do, it is difficult to not feel guilty. But you did not choose this and you would have done anything to prevent it. I haven't read the other replies so someone may have already suggested this, but this article from Still Standing has helped me so much, and I keep it in a handy place so I can read it any time I need the reminder. Big hugs mama, you will be able to breathe again, and smile at the thought of your son. It may take a long time, but the women here are proof that you can get through it, and we're here to support you whenever you need it.
https://stillstandingmag.com/2013/06/why-you-didnt-fail-as-a-mother/
My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks. Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
This is a great place to place to find comfort from those that have been where you are, or just to vent when you are having a bad day. We are here whenever you need. Hugs
Asher born February 5, 2011.
Baby #2 born sleeping at 20 weeks. May 6, 2014.
Your hurt right now is unbearable and I'm so sorry. ((Hugs))
TTC since 10/2010
IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
Edit: Spelling
HUGS!!!!!!!!