Little Update aka "How EmJ&B lost 300 pounds"

EmJ&B · August 2014

So some of you may have realized that I've been having a tough time. Between my full time job and my nonsleeping baby, things were bad enough but add in a husband who did very little (never ever got up in the night!) AND almost constant fighting . . . it was almost too much to handle.

I met with a divorce attorney.

While "cleaning" (packing to leave), I found a bank account that he'd opened in just his name with thousands of dollars in it. And that was just the tip of the ice berg.

So, DS and I have moved into an apartment by my work. DS has "daddy play dates" twice a week. Sadly, those 5 hours are more time than they were spending together previously.

This last week on our own has been the happiest and most peaceful week that I can ever remember in DS's life. He's sleeping 3 to 3.5 hours at a time (a minor miracle). We've had two visitations that went off without a hitch. And MIL is no longer my problem.

#itsgoingtobeok

stephl3055 · August 2014

I'm sorry. I know it can't be an easy process, but it is encouraging to see how much happier you already are. And I know your son will notice that as well.

WhenInRome11 · August 2014

Good for you for doing what is best for you and your son. I'm glad you are feeling happier and it sounds like your little guy is happier too. Hang in there!

I love your post title!

EmJ&B · August 2014

Just realised that I'll need a new username . . . EmJ&D

sleepy33 · August 2014

EmJ&B said:

Just realised that I'll need a new username . . . EmJ&D

YASSS. Do ittt. I think you can change it yourself if you log on under The Knot??

MtnChickaD · August 2014

Big hugs lady! I am glad you and LO are happy and I hope the sleeping gets enev better now that you are in a more peaceful and calm environment

jennlin · August 2014

wow, i hope the state you live in gives you half of his secret bank account. hugs and good luck. you know you have our support!

Ajoyd · August 2014

Much love to you mama. You are better off! I am happy for you and DS and your new life

EmJ&B · August 2014

sleepy33 said:

EmJ&B said:

Just realised that I'll need a new username . . . EmJ&D

YASSS. Do ittt. I think you can change it yourself if you log on under The Knot??

#waytootrickey #willPMBumpJackie

sleepy33 · August 2014

EmJ&B said:

sleepy33 said:

EmJ&B said:

Just realised that I'll need a new username . . . EmJ&D

YASSS. Do ittt. I think you can change it yourself if you log on under The Knot??

#waytootrickey #willPMBumpJackie

If you made it EmJandD, you would be taggable... #justsayin

EmJ&B · August 2014

sleepy33 said:

EmJ&B said:

sleepy33 said:

EmJ&B said:

Just realised that I'll need a new username . . . EmJ&D

YASSS. Do ittt. I think you can change it yourself if you log on under The Knot??

#waytootrickey #willPMBumpJackie

If you made it EmJandD, you would be taggable... #justsayin

#sowise

EmJ&B · August 2014

Emilyusc211 said:

I'm so sorry you are going through this but I'm glad you have had a peaceful week so far. Now that she won't be your MIL, can you have a public Facebook?!

Probably not until the divorce is final ;-)

[Deleted User] · August 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

mancila60 · August 2014

So glad you and DS are happier now. I hope he starts to sleep better. Lots of hugs for you both. I hope you let the lawyer know about the bank account and as long as you can show it was opened after you were married and before you split then I'm pretty sure you are entitled to it. Good luck!

SweetCFly · August 2014

Wow, good for you mamma! I am glad you'll be able to have a happier life. Hugs to you both.

KerCo51 · August 2014

So sorry you're going through this, but happy to hear you have such a positive outlook. You're so strong!

trackgirlparis · August 2014

Sorry to hear you've continued to have such a hard time but I'm happy to hear you won't have to deal with him or your MIL anymore! Although I'm a little sad there won't be stories anymore lol

chelseyestelle · August 2014

Hugs. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Hopefully it will all just get better from here.

ajjf1026 · August 2014

I've been thinking about you & DS!! I'm sorry you're going through this but you are strong & can get through it! And we are here if you need us! Hopefully those 3.5 hrs straight will turn into 8 hrs straight soon. Hugs to you!!

carawasa · August 2014

Well here's the update! I'm so sorry you are going through this. You've already proved how strong you are by making the first most important move. You'll be ok! Hugs mama!

5speckledfrogs · August 2014

Your and your child's happiness is the most important. Congrats on taking that first tough step!

LetsGoToDisney · August 2014

I am glad you are doing what is right for you and your son.

As a lawyer, I'd impeach the shit out of him if he lied about that secret bank account on his financial declaration.

Pro Tips: Change your will and life insurance/POD account beneficiary, get a QDRO for any retirement contributions while married, make him pay the life insurance premiums and have him go on record about any plans to file bankruptcy.

shelley1002 · August 2014

Glad this change has been good for you and DS. Good for you for doing what is best for the both of you. Really hope things continue to improve for you both. Sorry you are going through this though.

Phalaenopsis · August 2014

(((( hugs))))

acethebase · August 2014

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this... But it sounds like your making all the right choices for you and your son, and that's all that matters. Stick with your gut and know that your an amazing woman!!!

kelle017 · August 2014

I'm sorry. I know it probably wasn't easy. Good for you for doing what was best for you and ds.

Weljadraak · August 2014

I'm sorry you have to go through this and I'm glad you are finding peace.

tmccord21 · August 2014

Hugs! Glad you got out of a bad situation. Here's to D sleeping better in a stress free environment. :::clinking my glass of water with yours::: lol

EmJ&B · August 2014

LetsGoToDisney said:

I am glad you are doing what is right for you and your son.

As a lawyer, I'd impeach the shit out of him if he lied about that secret bank account on his financial declaration.

Pro Tips: Change your will and life insurance/POD account beneficiary, get a QDRO for any retirement contributions while married, make him pay the life insurance premiums and have him go on record about any plans to file bankruptcy.

I can't get into the details but it's even more trickey than this because of our taxes. My attny is all over it tho - affidavits to the IRS, etc.

The current strategy is a settlement offer that contains a lump sum and see what his reaction is. Our follow up is the hidden account ;-)

hartsl01 · August 2014

Sending hugs your way! You and DS deserve all the happiness in the world! Stay strong, we're here if you need us!

sweettwilight16 · August 2014

Sounds like you've turned a corner and things are looking a little better at least! Hugs, we are here for you!!

megs1409 · August 2014

Sorry to hear you're going through a rough time, but so happy you've done what's best for you and DS. Divorce sucks, but the light on the other side makes it SOOO worth it. We're always here for you and good luck with everything!!

Jalee85 · August 2014

You are a strong lady, and I'm sure things will start to get better and better. My mom left my Dad when I was 3. It was the best decision she ever made for our family. Being miserable and fighting is no way to live your life.

bkeane619 · August 2014

(((Hugs))) Take B for all he's worth. Glad D is sleeping better. You are strong and will give D everything he needs.

Herefishy87 · August 2014

Good for you for having the insight and courage to know it was time to make a change. I'm sure it is far from easy but you are making the best choice for you and your LO. ((Hugs)) Keep us updated and I hope he starts to sleep through the night for you!

Slap8out · August 2014

Glad you are doing what is best for you and your son. You are one strong momma! You have our support, sending you positive sleep thoughts! May the sleep gods be with you!

Amjoy25 · August 2014

Good for you lady!

Your husband weighted 300lbs? #ithinkiveseenapic #hedidnotlook300lbs

bionicb · August 2014

Amjoy25 said:
Good for you lady!

Your husband weighted 300lbs? #ithinkiveseenapic #hedidnotlook300lbs

Maybe ex-h+ex-mil=300lbs?

Either way, more power to you! Props and good thoughts to you for getting you and DS out of a crappy situation. Hang in there!

Teresa1489 · August 2014

I'm sorry you're going through this but you're so strong to take this first step! I'm glad your week has been calm and much better than before, hopefully everything will get better from here!

Jenball717 · August 2014

Can I just say how brave I think you are? That is a big scary step, one that not everyone would be strong enough to take. Hugs and prayers sent your way.

RedZee · August 2014

I'm so proud of you for taking care of yourself and your baby. I know it's not easy to make that decision, but it's so great that you're respecting yourself enough to do it. We are all here for you.