February 2015 Moms

Gender party?

Hi Mommas! Im a FTM, and my mom has been bugging me about a gender reveal party (NO gifts, just food and fun) and then having a regular shower later on in the pregnancy? Too tacky? The thing is, is id rather not have the gender reveal AT the shower reasons being 1. Id probably couldnt wait that long and 2. Id hate for everything to be green/yellow crap. Help me out!!!
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Re: Gender party?

  • you could always just do a gender announcement and have a cute photoshoot revealing it.
    i have never been to a gender reveal party but i think they could be cute.

    but if you`re coming to TB for advice you` re going to get told its tacky unnecessary to have a party just because of what baby is.
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  • It's not tacky if there are no presents---but don't let your mom pressure you into doing things you don't want to do! I personally would not want one because I don't want to seem like I want all the attention.

    Background on my opinion: I already feel uncomfortable because I think I am going to have three showers. (I know, don't judge until you all hear me out.) My mother is going to want to throw me one for her family and our friends, and my MIL is probably also going to want to throw me one for her family--they live in different states, so none of the same people would attend either shower. (It's the first grandchild on either side, so everyone is beside themselves with excitement.) I can't really say no to either of them, since they both are excited out of love. My work has a history of doing surprise showers, too. If I threw a sex reveal party it would make me seem like an AW.
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  • We are just doing a brunch with our parents and siblings (still equals 12 people!) to do the gender reveal. No presents no invitations just family.
  • aralph2 said:
    We are just doing a brunch with our parents and siblings (still equals 12 people!) to do the gender reveal. No presents no invitations just family.
    I love this idea, I do enjoy excused to have big brunches. (Breakfast is my favorite meal.) It seems less AWy than what I was first thinking when I heard "gender reveal party."
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  • aralph2 said:

    We are just doing a brunch with our parents and siblings (still equals 12 people!) to do the gender reveal. No presents no invitations just family.

    Ditto. We are going to host a cookout or brunch type thing with immediate family. Nothing elaborate, but we wanted them to find out at same time.
  • I had one last time with immediate family only. I wouldn't have a big to-do, but I think dinner and a reveal is nice.
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  • I'm having a small party with family and a few very close friends. Basically, we are going to have a cookout and cake. No presents, of course.
    Also, I won't be having a shower as this is my 3rd pregnancy.
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  • We are doing a small one with just our parents and my sister's family. I want everyone to find out at the same time and it's my way to make it a bigger deal than just telling people.
  • I think a gender reveal party is a great idea!
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  • Check out you tube. They have lots of videos of gender reveals there.
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  • Last time around we held a 24 hour open vote for people to guess before revealing the "winning" team. People who cared were involved and people who didn't still had fun by adding snarky comments like "because only boys love pizza THAT much" or "only a girl can make someone that b@tchy".

    Find a way to do gender reveal that you'll enjoy because you're opinion is the most important on the matter.
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  • We are planning to have one combined with a baby shower. We think it will be fun to involve everyone about it. We live out of state and we think its more tacky to have two separate parties where the possibility of getting presents are the same. We plan on saving the gender neutral baby clothes for future kids, save us money and time. Wont buy girl or boy clothes until like 3 mos.
  • osumegs said:
    We are just doing a brunch with our parents and siblings (still equals 12 people!) to do the gender reveal. No presents no invitations just family.
    Ditto. We are going to host a cookout or brunch type thing with immediate family. Nothing elaborate, but we wanted them to find out at same time.
    This. We are inviting immediate family over and hosting dinner. Nothing major. Just wanted the family to find out at the same time. Last time we did it through phone calls and it just didn't feel nearly as special.
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  • The only gender party i've even been to was beyond horrid.  The parents knew what they were having so we (random friends as there were 75+ people there) were expected to care about Juniors junk. Ugh it was basically a gift grab.

    With DD we took the grandparents to dinner and had them open a present with a pink dress and pink baby mickey ears.

    figured they were the only people who truly cared if it was a boy or girl.

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  • I love them! My family is so so so excited to find out what in have and so are we! We are just doing something very small and low key. Do whatever you want and don't care about what anyone else thinks!
  • You can have a family dinner and it still be fun & meaningful. It's usually those in your closest circle that really want to know soon anyway, it's a nice excuse for a family get together but a party devoted to it seems unnecessary, especially when you're having a shower as the pregnancy progresses.
  • agm04agm04 member
    I hadn't planned on it, but my parents may be in town a few days after we find out, and it would be nice to have our families find out at the same time.  I may have both families over for brunch, but not call it a gender reveal...just a brunch.  And then have something like cream puffs with pink or blue filling inside and just let people bite into them and see if they get it.
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  • I might incorporate a gender reveal with my birthday party in November or either on Thanksgiving. There are enough holiday's and events coming up where all the family is together so I can combine it. I don't necessarily want to have a separate event just for the gender reveal. Teying to kill 2 birds with 1 stone.



  • agm04agm04 member
    agm04 said:
    I hadn't planned on it, but my parents may be in town a few days after we find out, and it would be nice to have our families find out at the same time.  I may have both families over for brunch, but not call it a gender reveal...just a brunch.  And then have something like cream puffs with pink or blue filling inside and just let people bite into them and see if they get it.
    THAT would be cute.
    Thanks!  Perhaps I will do it.
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  • WA1215WA1215 member
    We plan on having only immediate family over for dinner and cake to reveal. I'm thinking about having my parents cut the cake to reveal, since this is their first grandchild (and we are FTP), and we could use their cutting set they passed down (that we all used at our weddings). We will do a separate dinner with MIL and do cupcakes (that's what MIL likes) since we have a lot of nephews and niece's, they have more people. There will be no gifts, just fun for our families.
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  • cls78cls78 member
    I like the idea of a small dinner and cake with pink or blue for dessert. My family is in VA, so it would only be my inlaws.
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  • I think @sugahcookie01‌ is right. Everyone else is just excited your having a baby and it doesnt change anything based on the sex. My FI and I are finding out the sex but we are not having a sex reveal party. If we do anything, it will be a small dinner with our parents and siblings just so nobody feels bad that they weren't the first to know. Then for extended family and friends do a picture on facebook or something. I have a ton of family all over the country and it would take to long to call everyone and I dont think I could wait to tell them in person at thanksgiving!
  • ksgsmuksgsmu member
    We are just incorporating our gender reveal into an existing labor day cookout that my family has every year.  I am bringing cupcakes
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  • I like the idea of incorporating it into the family holiday by bringing colored treats to that. I need to see when I`ll be 20 weeks again so I can make a plan to do that.
    Pregnancy #1 DD 08.30.2007
    Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014
    Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015
    Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019
    Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020

  • I have had friends asking if we are having a reveal party. Considering j am already stressed with the possibility of having two showers (one mostly family and one mostly friends), we will not be having a reveal party. The reveal will be the text message or phone call they receive when we find out.
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  • I am not doing a reveal party. I am with sugahcookie01 on that one. It's just not for me. Plus I cannot justify the expense of having a party when have to remodel the nursery and I need to buy a new car.   
    I do plan on doing a reveal for our parents. I am making cake pops and bringing them over to my parents house with a little sign that says "He or She? Take a bite to see." We will do the same thing for my MIL, DH loved the idea. We are not sure what we will do for his dad though, he lives in another state. The rest of our family and friend will find out either personally through us, email, FB or word of mouth. I was thinking for a FB announcement posting a pic or video of my parents reaction to the cake pops. 
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  • We were team green with DD, and we didn't get "green and yellow crap" at our shower - we got practical things that we had registered for, in gender neutral colors. Some people wrote us cards that said they would buy us something when the baby was born instead because they preferred to buy clothes. I think having a gender reveal at a shower is a nice way to do it, actually, but I've never been to a gender reveal before. Other than DD's, in the OR :)
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  • It's not tacky if there are no presents---but don't let your mom pressure you into doing things you don't want to do! I personally would not want one because I don't want to seem like I want all the attention.

    Background on my opinion: I already feel uncomfortable because I think I am going to have three showers. (I know, don't judge until you all hear me out.) My mother is going to want to throw me one for her family and our friends, and my MIL is probably also going to want to throw me one for her family--they live in different states, so none of the same people would attend either shower. (It's the first grandchild on either side, so everyone is beside themselves with excitement.) I can't really say no to either of them, since they both are excited out of love. My work has a history of doing surprise showers, too. If I threw a sex reveal party it would make me seem like an AW.
    We also had three showers - one for my family and one at each of our jobs. I think it's kind of normal :)
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  • I'm just buying a shirt that says boy or girl and will take a pic in it and send it to family. We'll make a post on FB for others who want to know. Nothing big. We'll probably find out in October, and I don't think I could keep it a secret til Thanksgiving, which is when we'll be together with his family. I kinda like having a cake as a reveal, too. Inside is blue or pink (or both for twins if you are having one of each). But I wouldn't have an actual party for it, but that's just me.
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  • We were team green with the first two, and my mom went with me to the ultrasound to find out the sex of #3.  I'm pretty sure no one beyond our immediate families care what the sex of our 4th baby is.  If it's something you'd have fun at, then do it, but don't give in to pressure if it's not something you're into.  I actually preferred to get gender neutral baby items, because we planned on reusing everything with subsequent children. 

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  • @sugahcookie01  I've only skimmed this thread, but this immediately came to mind! 

    We are just going to gather our families together and tell them all at the same time :)
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  • If I was finding out the sex of the baby prior to birth, I would probably just have my family over for dinner and reveal to them, as they are the only ones who would really be excited about it. 
  • I will go to one if it's called a sex party. And only then. Not because I'm a stickler for gender vs sex (but seriously, is it that hard to just use the right word? Words have meanings!) but because a sex party sounds so erotic and exciting and I want to tell people "I went to a sex party this weekend."
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  • I hate hate hate hate hate hate them. I've seen like three friends in the last MONTH do huge elaborate sex reveal parties and they just come off (to me) as tacky and aw. Honestly, NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE SEX AS MUCH AS YOU. Grandparents care, and maybe your siblings. Otherwise? They are glad for you, but a baby is a baby.

    If I were invited to one I'd decline. I don't want to spend hours surrounded by pink or blue to wait around foreverr for a big reveal that just doesn't matter much to me.

    If anything, I'd be willing to do would be a family dinner with the grandparents. I wouldn't even tell them it was a reveal at all, I'd just bring them a cake or something and surprise them.

    Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  • I will go to one if it's called a sex party. And only then. Not because I'm a stickler for gender vs sex (but seriously, is it that hard to just use the right word? Words have meanings!) but because a sex party sounds so erotic and exciting and I want to tell people "I went to a sex party this weekend."
    If I were to throw a Sex Party guaranteed the majority of my friends would show up in trench coats with their pockets full of lube.
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  • I don`t get why everyone has to have a big reveal or party for the gender. I just called.and told people on the phone with DD and they wereprobably just as excited as they would be if id done a reveal of some kind.
    Pregnancy #1 DD 08.30.2007
    Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014
    Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015
    Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019
    Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020

  • "If I were to throw a Sex Party guaranteed the majority of my friends would show up in trench coats with their pockets full of lube."

    Your friends are AWESOME! ;) Love the brunch with the cream puffs idea. The whole gender reveal party thing may be one of those things that is only cool when viewed on Pinterest but IRL not so much :)
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  • Boy or girl
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