Flying With a Lap Child

sschwege · July 2014

We flew a couple times with DD as a lap child and it was fine, but it was domestically and during the day. We will be flying internationally on an overnight flight with DS as a lap child and I'm just looking for help. I think what makes it seem hard is the fact that it's overnight, like maybe that will make it easier since he will hopefully sleep, but what if he doesn't and how do I sleep if he does fall asleep? I was thinking of bringing my Ergo carrier, I still carry him in that frequently and he falls asleep in it, so maybe that would be the way to go, so I could sleep too or at least rest. Any other ideas? Tips? Few other details, we will be on the side of the plane, just 2 seats, so DH, DS and I. DD will be behind us and my mother says she will be in charge of her. Also my dad and brother will be seated close by. This is starting to stress me out!

bumpuser8448316 · July 2014

Wow LaLa I'm always impressed with how perfectly your girls seem to behave. How old were they?

penguingrrl · July 2014

I found having a lap child for a 2 hour flight beyond unbearable. The other leg of our journey a seat was open so we used it with her carseat and it was soooo much better.

Andrewsgal · July 2014

Um hell no. IMO if you can't afford another seat on these long flights you don't need to be taking them. I am sure I will get flack for that, but I have had the pleasure if sitting in front of or behind lap children on long flights and it has always been horrible. I think people who say it's fine either forgot or think their precious was great when that was not the reality.

lifeinthedreamhouse · July 2014

I think you could switch off the "lap" between you and dh and maybe your dad and brother so everyone can share the responsibility and everyone can sleep a little. My dh and I took 2 lap kids to and from co to ca and that was hell because we literally both had our hands full and couldn't even put the kids down. Your situation sounds hard but doable as long as you ask for help. Good luck. Try not to stress!

bumpuser8448316 · July 2014

dandelionhater said:

Um hell no. IMO if you can't afford another seat on these long flights you don't need to be taking them. I am sure I will get flack for that, but I have had the pleasure if sitting in front of or behind lap children on long flights and it has always been horrible. I think people who say it's fine either forgot or think their precious was great when that was not the reality.

No hate here. It's safer for your kid and way easier. I even bought my 4 month old a seat for a 1.5 he flight

jensriot · July 2014

We flew to Spain with DD as a lap child. One leg was 9 hours I think? She was only 5 months old though, so she was a bit easier, and pretty small. The ergo may be your best bet.
My kids are so tiny, I can still use a boppy at that age, so I would take that. I put it on my lap, have the child sit facing out and lean back in the seat. The child leans back on me. I've only tried that on shorter flights, but it worked. Maybe practice at home? Good luck! It sounds like you have a bunch of helpers though, so maybe it won't be so bad.

sschwege · July 2014

LalaMama81 said:

QueSyrah said:

Wow LaLa I'm always impressed with how perfectly your girls seem to behave. How old were they?

ha, perfect, no. But it was manageable. DD1 had a melt down on the way home from France - but again, I highly doubt the seat had anything do with it. But, I won't know.

Being able to nurse when ascending & descending was useful, too.

DD1 was 23 months and DD2 was 21 months.

That's the other thing, I'm still bfing which I think will help.

sschwege · July 2014

jensriot said:
We flew to Spain with DD as a lap child. One leg was 9 hours I think? She was only 5 months old though, so she was a bit easier, and pretty small. The ergo may be your best bet.
My kids are so tiny, I can still use a boppy at that age, so I would take that. I put it on my lap, have the child sit facing out and lean back in the seat. The child leans back on me. I've only tried that on shorter flights, but it worked. Maybe practice at home? Good luck! It sounds like you have a bunch of helpers though, so maybe it won't be so bad.

That's a good idea about the boppy, I think I will take that as an option.

sschwege · July 2014

Hopefully we can keep disturbances to fellow passengers at a minimum. We tried to set it up that way. We have our own row, no seats in front of us and DD and my mom directly behind us, with my dad across the aisle and my brother close by.

AprilLVE · July 2014

Can't you request a bassinet for international flights, without buying a seat? I feel like I read that when researching a trip recently. No idea how big they are.

sschwege · July 2014

AprilLVE said:
Can't you request a bassinet for international flights, without buying a seat? I feel like I read that when researching a trip recently. No idea how big they are.

Most are only meant for babies, which is the case on our airlines.

bumpuser8448316 · July 2014

LalaMama81 said:

What is the difference between a lap child crying and one w/ their own seat? In terms of how it affects other guests, I mean. We were in the front row, so no kicking the seat.

It's not really about crying. I flew with DS as a lap baby at 21 months before I knew better and it was miserable. He wanted down, kept dropping things, etc. The next time we flew and he had his own seat (still under 2) was so much easier because for one thing he's used to being in his car seat and because he was restrained he wasn't wiggling against me to get down.

jensriot · July 2014

AprilLVE said:

Can't you request a bassinet for international flights, without buying a seat? I feel like I read that when researching a trip recently. No idea how big they are.

We did that when DD was 5 months on KLM. She wasn't very big and took up most of the little bed. I don't think they're very big. It never hurts to ask though.

jesselayne8 · July 2014

We took an over night flight home from Hawaii. DD was 2 so she had her own seat but insisted on sleeping on MH the entire flight. DS was 8 months and he wanted to nurse or sleep on me the entire flight so I don't think having his own seat would have been worth the $. If I am in his sight, he has to be touching me. I can't sit beside him in the back of the car without him screaming for me to hold him. I would have loved for him to sit the whole flight in his car seat but I seriously doubt he would.

penguingrrl · July 2014

Oh, and while you may be able to wear the ergo during the flight it's not FAA approved so it can't be worn during take off or landing. Some FAs are lax about that, others follow the letter of the law. So if your LO falls asleep and you begin your descent you may have to wake the baby up to remove them from the ergo.

penguingrrl · July 2014

LalaMama81 said:

penguingrrl said:

Oh, and while you may be able to wear the ergo during the flight it's not FAA approved so it can't be worn during take off or landing. Some FAs are lax about that, others follow the letter of the law. So if your LO falls asleep and you begin your descent you may have to wake the baby up to remove them from the ergo.

If it's a European carrier you probably have to use that lap belt thing-y. We had to use that on Aer Lingus & British Airways.

Interesting. That sounds so much safer than the US carriers, which have you buckled in and the kid free floating! There are quite a few tragic stories where turbulence led to injury/death to an infant because they're entirely unrestrained!

penguingrrl · July 2014

LalaMama81 said:

penguingrrl said:

LalaMama81 said:

penguingrrl said:

Oh, and while you may be able to wear the ergo during the flight it's not FAA approved so it can't be worn during take off or landing. Some FAs are lax about that, others follow the letter of the law. So if your LO falls asleep and you begin your descent you may have to wake the baby up to remove them from the ergo.

If it's a European carrier you probably have to use that lap belt thing-y. We had to use that on Aer Lingus & British Airways.

Interesting. That sounds so much safer than the US carriers, which have you buckled in and the kid free floating! There are quite a few tragic stories where turbulence led to injury/death to an infant because they're entirely unrestrained!

yea, I've wondered why they aren't used here for lap babies - but I did see something on CSFTL about how they actually aren't safe? I've not done the official research.

The argument I've heard is that the baby basically becomes an airbag for the adult they're strapped to. That's the same argument used against using a carrier to hold them to you. I'm not sure how I feel about any of them. Since we haven't had the budget to travel in a long time and won't before February it will not be an issue for us again anyway!

LegallyBlonde217 · July 2014

QueSyrah said:

It's not really about crying. I flew with DS as a lap baby at 21 months before I knew better and it was miserable. He wanted down, kept dropping things, etc. The next time we flew and he had his own seat (still under 2) was so much easier because for one thing he's used to being in his car seat and because he was restrained he wasn't wiggling against me to get down.

This was my experience as well. We had numerous family members on the same flight, but once our twins were tired, all they wanted was Mommy and Daddy. And they wouldn't sit still for most of the flight. And they were kicking the people next to us, the seat in front of us, etc. They dropped every item we put in their hands. They flung themselves around to try to get out of the seat. It wasn't pleasant. And those were only 2 1/2 hour flights. I would have pulled my fingernails off one by one if those flights were any longer.

MomIn2013 · July 2014

I would absolutely get them a seat. For me, it's only partly about the comfort of yourself, your child, and the other passengers. It's also about safety. I was once on a flight with turbulence so bad all the drinks went flying into the air and hit the ceiling. It was totally unexpected - they had actually just finished the drink service when it happened, so it's not like people knew to hold onto their drinks and brace themselves. I would hate to imagine what would have happened if I had an unrestrained child on my lap.

We're taking a couple hours long flight in a few months, and DS will be in his own seat in his carseat.

sschwege · July 2014

amy052006 said:
A boppy? Hell no. You, a baby, and a boppy crammed into a regular airline seat. Yeah, I would be pissed as fuck sitting next to you.

Here's the thing -- you are lapping over and annoying the shit out of the person next to you. I know because I did it. In retrospect, it wasn't worth the savings to be a jerk.

Decided not to bring one because it would take up a lot of room and I think the ergo will work better. I am not sitting next to anyone but DH, we are sitting in a 2 seat row.

As I said, we tried to set it up to keep disturbances to a minimum, we have our own row, nobody in front of us and my mother and DD directly behind us and my dad across the aisle from us. But I am not willing to buy another seat and if that makes me a jerk then I guess I am a jerk.

sschwege · July 2014

amy052006 said:

sschwege said:

amy052006 said:
A boppy? Hell no. You, a baby, and a boppy crammed into a regular airline seat. Yeah, I would be pissed as fuck sitting next to you.

Here's the thing -- you are lapping over and annoying the shit out of the person next to you. I know because I did it. In retrospect, it wasn't worth the savings to be a jerk.
Decided not to bring one because it would take up a lot of room and I think the ergo will work better. I am not sitting next to anyone but DH, we are sitting in a 2 seat row.

Well, both times I flew with an ergo, I had to take it off and hold DS1 for take off and landing -- two different airlines, four flights total.

I'd also just warn that no matter how much you try to prep ahead of time, that might not be your seating arrangement when it actually comes time to fly. I dealt with this all the time when I flew for work -- I was always able to upgrade to a front row or aisle seat or whatever, and they would bump people who hadn't checked in yet. Check in online ASAP -- no matter what your seat says now, it kind of means nothing the day of your flight prior to checking in.

Thank you! I will do that!

notkateanymore · July 2014

I would seriously just not fucking go if it meant holding ANYBODY on a flight over an hour...I don't care how perfect I think my children are.

notkateanymore · July 2014

If you just imagine it being great, it totes works. So does drinking enough to ignore the angry stares.

Crj324 · August 2014

Some great tips for traveling with kids:

https://momupsidedown.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/1949/

Ilumine · August 2014

I would never fly with a lap baby ever. It is all about safety. There is a reason why they have you store your personal items on take-off and landing...and its not to be a bitch.

sschwege · August 2014

Ilumine said:

I would never fly with a lap baby ever. It is all about safety. There is a reason why they have you store your personal items on take-off and landing...and its not to be a bitch.

Well, I have and will continue to do so.

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