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July 2014 Moms
jensavicci
member
Ding dong the witch is "gone"
jensavicci
member
Long vent. Be prepared.
So not all of you know that my mother is a prejudice asshole. Well, let me just give you a little history. When she found out I liked women, she tried to pray my sin away. When she realized that didn't work, she kicked me out of the house as a teenager. I decided to try and forgive her because I desperately wanted a relationship with my mom. When DW cheated on me, my mom got happy because she thought it was a sign from god that I was really supposed to be with a man for the sake of my children. So, I threatened to lose contact with her if she didn't shape up her attitude. And for a while, she wasn't so hateful.
Welp, you guys, the bitch is at it again. This, however, was the last straw.
Yesterday, she comes over to see the kids and brings my cousin and a friend of hers (that I've never even met before) without my permission. So the friend is all huggy and touchy with Max and I'm just like back the fuck off my baby with all that newness. But that's beside the point. Anyway, the visit starts off as pleasant as it was going to get and then the new friends starts asking questions about DW and I (which was normal because, I get questions all the time) but, then she starts becoming rude. Examples, "so, you're done having babies right?" and "do you think your kids actually like having two moms and no dad?" Well, then I was uncomfortable and pissed off. My cousin even left the room because he was getting uncomfortable. But, I answered her questions as politely as possible and tried to move on. Then, she starts asking more and more questions. In a therapist's sort of tone. Well now I'm suspicious as to why this chick gives a damn. She starts telling me about god and how he doesn't accept homosexuality and all the crap that comes with it. Then she pulls out a church business card (didn't even know those were a thing) and announces that my mother invited her over hoping to discuss the possibility of me changing my sexuality.
Now let me just make this perfectly clear, you guys. I am so fucking done having to defend who I am. I hate that I get the comments and I hate that it's something I have to bitch and moan about. I don't like that defending who I am is something I find myself talking about often but, it's what genuinely is a never ending situation that I have to deal with. I make jokes about it to ease the pain but that shit rips me apart on the inside. I still cry very real and very painful tears because of this and in reality, it is most certainly not a fucking joke.
With all that being said, the bitch had to go. I marched her bigot ass and her crazy friend out of my house so fast, I damn near slammed my finger in the door.
After fuming basically all day yesterday, I've decided that she will not be a part of my children's lives and she will not be a part of mine. It's now my turn to kick her out. I am so over trying to love a woman who couldn't give 2 shits about who I actually am.
It took me a long ass time to love myself as I am and I'll be damned if she's going to take something away from me again.
Idk what this whole situation means in the long run but, I know that right now, this is the best I've ever felt in regards to our relationship. And If she even dares to try and show back up into my life with that bullshit, you guys might see me on the news riding past in a cop car.
So not all of you know that my mother is a prejudice asshole. Well, let me just give you a little history. When she found out I liked women, she tried to pray my sin away. When she realized that didn't work, she kicked me out of the house as a teenager. I decided to try and forgive her because I desperately wanted a relationship with my mom. When DW cheated on me, my mom got happy because she thought it was a sign from god that I was really supposed to be with a man for the sake of my children. So, I threatened to lose contact with her if she didn't shape up her attitude. And for a while, she wasn't so hateful.
Welp, you guys, the bitch is at it again. This, however, was the last straw.
Yesterday, she comes over to see the kids and brings my cousin and a friend of hers (that I've never even met before) without my permission. So the friend is all huggy and touchy with Max and I'm just like back the fuck off my baby with all that newness. But that's beside the point. Anyway, the visit starts off as pleasant as it was going to get and then the new friends starts asking questions about DW and I (which was normal because, I get questions all the time) but, then she starts becoming rude. Examples, "so, you're done having babies right?" and "do you think your kids actually like having two moms and no dad?" Well, then I was uncomfortable and pissed off. My cousin even left the room because he was getting uncomfortable. But, I answered her questions as politely as possible and tried to move on. Then, she starts asking more and more questions. In a therapist's sort of tone. Well now I'm suspicious as to why this chick gives a damn. She starts telling me about god and how he doesn't accept homosexuality and all the crap that comes with it. Then she pulls out a church business card (didn't even know those were a thing) and announces that my mother invited her over hoping to discuss the possibility of me changing my sexuality.
Now let me just make this perfectly clear, you guys. I am so fucking done having to defend who I am. I hate that I get the comments and I hate that it's something I have to bitch and moan about. I don't like that defending who I am is something I find myself talking about often but, it's what genuinely is a never ending situation that I have to deal with. I make jokes about it to ease the pain but that shit rips me apart on the inside. I still cry very real and very painful tears because of this and in reality, it is most certainly not a fucking joke.
With all that being said, the bitch had to go. I marched her bigot ass and her crazy friend out of my house so fast, I damn near slammed my finger in the door.
After fuming basically all day yesterday, I've decided that she will not be a part of my children's lives and she will not be a part of mine. It's now my turn to kick her out. I am so over trying to love a woman who couldn't give 2 shits about who I actually am.
It took me a long ass time to love myself as I am and I'll be damned if she's going to take something away from me again.
Idk what this whole situation means in the long run but, I know that right now, this is the best I've ever felt in regards to our relationship. And If she even dares to try and show back up into my life with that bullshit, you guys might see me on the news riding past in a cop car.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Ding dong the witch is "gone"
Seriously, that is just insane. You are making the decision that is best for your family. You all definitely don't need that hate in your lives.
DH:34 - Me: 33
Emmaline Winifred - 1.25.2013
Wesley Daniel - 7.24.2014
#3 EDD - 6.24.2018
Keep your head up, and just think about Mila Kunis naked
Obviously you are doing what is best for your family and for that I applaud you. Great job.
((hugs)) I'm sorry you had to go through all of that @jensavicci . I can't imagine how hurtful & upsetting their actions have been & were to you that day. Neither your mom or her subtle friend had any right to ask those questions & invade your home the way they did.
Now in a COMPLETELY non related question...can I have their home addresses? No real reason...I swear.
Also, took this yesterday before things got ugly. I don't see hate and bigotry when I look at it but, instead, a grandmom so I love with her new grandson. I think I'll keep it so at least I can have some positive memory of her.
It couldn't have been easy, but i for one am proud of you. From what I've "seen" from interacting with you on this board, you are the best kind of person, and that has nothing to do with your sexuality.
My heart breaks for you because it's got to be the hardest thing to have to give up on your mom, even if its absolutely the best thing for your beautiful, loving family. Big hugs!
I'm sorry you had to deal with that situation, so ignorant. It's important for you to be happy though, above all.
So sorry you had to go through that. Her loss, that's for sure. I'm sure this hurts big time and I can't imagine. Either way, we got your back.
Edit: so.many.missing.words.
I can so relate- my mom was invited to stay with us for the first time in 6 yrs (and for the same reason as you, I wanted a relationship with a mom) but while here, she tied crosses to the bottom of the crib (all sneaky-like thinking we wouldn't see them) and added 4 bibles hidden throughout our house. And that was the last straw for me.
I still get sad that she can't be who I need her to be but then I feel ok, because I can't be who she needs me to be either and I'm perfectly OK with that.
Hugs and more hugs!