Intro and delivering

forevermyfenix · July 2014

I never thought I'd be here, but I guess everyone feels that.
This morning I went for my 36 week check up and found that my little boy had no heartbeat. I'm at labor and delivery now and being induced. This was my first pregnancy. I'm at a loss for words.
How did you all find the strength?

msunshine123 · July 2014

I am so sorry for the loss of your son and to welcome you to this board. My heart breaks for you. I lost my son at 39 weeks and 3 days due to a cord accident on the day of his delivery - 8 weeks ago. (he is my 1st child) Learning his heart had stopped hurt more than anything. I pray you find strength and support from all those around you as well as the amazing women on this board. Huge ((Hugs)) Enjoy the time with your son after delivery - hold him, love him and take lots and lots of pictures.

VyD81 · July 2014

*siggy warning* I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby boy. It's horrible to be in Labor and delivery and waiting to be induced, my nurse was wonderful and I hope yours will be too. Echoing what sunshine123 said, spend time with your son and take lots of pictures. Hugs.

Mel&John2013 · July 2014

I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious baby boy.

To answer your question...don't feel that you have to be strong. A terrible thing has happened, and you are allowed to be a wreck.

MeNV · July 2014

I am so, so sorry you are facing this. I am so sorry for the loss of your little boy. Even being on this side of it, I'm always at a loss of words. If I could go back, I would take more pictures and video of my sweet baby. I hate that these are the questions you're asking. Thinking of you and your family during this incredibly difficult time.

ekc0630 · July 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. Take time with him. Do you you need to do. CRY you don't have to be strong right now.

HUGS

stefuge · July 2014

I am so so sorry for your loss. Take lots of pictures! Get footprints, handprints, a clip of his hair, his blankie, his clothes, anything and everything. Spend as much time with him as you want - hold him, smell him, look at every little inch of his body. Do whatever feels right - there is no wrong answer. And you will get through because there is no other option. And we will be here whenever you need us.

CherryPicked · July 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss and my heart breaks for you. Have the hospital call the charity Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep to take some professional pictures for you if they are available in your area. So so so many hugs.

kz's_girlygirl · July 2014

sig warning***

I am so so sorry for the loss of your son. Like others have said, spend as much time as you feel comfortable with- hold your son, name him (if you haven't already), if you belong to a church consider calling your pastor/etc for a blessing or baptism, bathe him, dress him and know that whatever you chose to do or not do, your son never knew fear or pain, was loved his entire life and will be remembered.

As for finding strength, I think you will discover your strength in ways you least expect and not all at once. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever you feel. Know that I am thinking of you and your son (and family) and sending you thoughts for comfort and healing in the days and weeks ahead.

lexusolsen · July 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. The other ladies have already given you helpful ideas of things to do. I will be thinking of you.

Manada · July 2014

I am also sorry to hear of your loss.

We lost our twins 6 weeks ago today, and we have learned what a roller coaster grief can be.

I echo and second what the PP have said above about taking your time, and getting mementos of your time with your baby. We were so afraid when we lost our girls, and didn't have any idea what to expect or what was possible - but we treasure the memories we have of the hours we held them, the photos we got, and the hand and footprints we have from them. At the time, I didn't think to bathe our babies, or ensure that we have a good family photo of the 4 of us ... And while I am glad we spent the time we did, those are two things I wish I had thought of at the time. Really though, I am learning that there will always be more to yearn for.

The first few days were a whirlwind for us, it felt surreal, but also weren't as painful as the days that followed because our babies were so close to us in the hospital... Take your time there, spend as much time with your baby as you want.

Good luck for a decent labour. We will be here for more support when you need it.

OSUWifey09 · July 2014

***SIGGY WARNING***

I'm so, so sorry for the loss of your sweet boy. I lost my son almost two years ago at 34w4d due to a complete placental abruption, and it was like the biggest punch to the gut I'd ever felt. You will find a way to be strong, because it just naturally happens in situations like this. But do not be afraid to cry, scream, whatever. You do not have to be strong the entire time; it's OK to break down whenever you need to.

I will echo what others said about pictures, holding etc. Do what you feel is right at the time, and try not to dwell or feel guilty about something you didn't think to do until afterwards. I know that you will make the most of your time with your sweet boy, and we will be here for you when you need us. If you're comfortable, please share his name with us. I'd love to know it.

I hate that you're here but am glad you found us. Thinking of you throughout the next few days. ***hugs***

Carolee · July 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. I agree with PPs...you just kind of DO. It's horrible and it's unfair and completely devastating. Don't feel like you have to be strong for others. Let yourself grieve. We are here for you. I'll be thinking of you and your family.

mmsweeney1 · July 2014

** siggy warning **

I am so so sorry to hear what's happening to you! You will discover that you're stronger than you ever imagined. Some moments you might feel numb or weak or like you're about to lose it, but overall you will get through it. Cherish whatever time you have with your son, I wish I had more memories of that time.
And we'll always be here to understand when others can't!

ikrystal · July 2014

kz's_girlygirl said:

sig warning***

I am so so sorry for the loss of your son. Like others have said, spend as much time as you feel comfortable with- hold your son, name him (if you haven't already), if you belong to a church consider calling your pastor/etc for a blessing or baptism, bathe him, dress him and know that whatever you chose to do or not do, your son never knew fear or pain, was loved his entire life and will be remembered.

As for finding strength, I think you will discover your strength in ways you least expect and not all at once. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever you feel. Know that I am thinking of you and your son (and family) and sending you thoughts for comfort and healing in the days and weeks ahead.

**ticker warning**

Great advice and very well said. I am so sorry for your loss. Many of the ladies here have already listed some wonderful things to do with your son, so I won't repeat. Hugs and prayers to you and your family.

shandorfml2 · July 2014

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet boy. It is the hardest thing you will ever do. You will survive, not sure how we all do, but we do. I hope you have lots of love and support around you right now (((hugs))) love that baby up, and take lots of pictures.

Noethola · August 2014

***ticker***

I am so, so very sorry for the loss of your son. I come in too late to give any suggestions/advice, but know that we are here for you. You can use the board as often or as little as you please as you go through this grief journey.

AshersMom11 · August 2014

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby boy. You will find a strength you never knew you had. The first few days after our loss are a blur. I was able to eat (barely), sleep and and cry and that was pretty much it. It felt like I could hardly breath. Eventually you begin to create a new "normal".

We are here for you whenever you need us. Hugs

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