Baby shower question?

MrsK213 · July 2014

Hey ladies! I was wondering who threw your baby showers?? As of now (I'm 18 weeks) noone has mentioned anything to me about it, or asked me anything. I want to have one around October (since I'm due December) so I wanted to slowly start planning & figuring out what to do. Is it tacky to plan it myself? My mom said she would help but doesn't seem that enthusiastic about it which is very weird & frustrating to me. Could you ladies let me know some ideas and your experiences with this? Thank you.

CreativeD1 · July 2014

Etiquette rules indicate that you you should never throw your own shower. A shower is a gift in and of itself thrown by another person. Good luck to you!!

Unknown · July 2014

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Tapsalteerie · July 2014

I had two of my girlfriends throw one for me. They didn't bring it to my attention until I was about 20+ weeks along. It took place when I was about 31 weeks. Still plenty of time in between to send out invites.

mc0113 · July 2014

If no one offers to throw you a shower, you don't get a shower. Simple as that. But it is also pretty early, so who knows maybe someone will offer in a few weeks.

allrightmeow · July 2014

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!

sandrabrooke · July 2014

MrsMuq said:

MrsK213 said:

Hey ladies! I was wondering who threw your baby showers?? As of now (I'm 18 weeks) noone has mentioned anything to me about it, or asked me anything. I want to have one around October (since I'm due December) so I wanted to slowly start planning & figuring out what to do. Is it tacky to plan it myself? My mom said she would help but doesn't seem that enthusiastic about it which is very weird & frustrating to me. Could you ladies let me know some ideas and your experiences with this? Thank you.

1. You don't get to pick the date of your shower.
2. You don't plan your own shower.
3. You don't throw your own shower.
4. You don't do these things because a shower is a gift, not an entitlement.
5. If no one offers, don't be tacky-tastic and throw your own shower, please.
6. If you want a party celebrating the baby, have a Meet the Baby party after LO is born.

Well....I'd hope you'd at least get some say in when the shower is going to be. So the mom to be can at least be there

.

But I got your point. The OP can't just plan for October.

Sarah1253 · July 2014

I am having my first shower in October from my Aunts on my husbands side. On my side the aunts also have the shower and they haven't mentioned anything yet. I don't think its weird that no one has talked to you yet. The only reason my husbands side has already talked about it is because one of them lives out of state and she was visiting last week. They did give me a few dates to pick from which was nice.

saraeric · July 2014

Nobody offered to host a shower until after my 20 week appointment/ultrasound. There's still a lot of time until October.

BurdyGurl · July 2014

It's totally normal to want to pipe dream about a baby shower, so don't feel guilty about that- what a fun event! Have you registered yet? Maybe doing so would spark some enthusiasm from your friends & family? I'll agree with other posters that you don't throw one for yourself... My SIL decided she wanted a 'sprinkle' for her 2nd baby even tho her first is only 2 & it was kinda odd as she really has everything she needs... but what left some of us with bad feelings was that she basically gave us a date & a list of demands as to what she wanted done, from theme to decor to the menu served... it was seen as VERY greedy & rude by many... not suggesting you'd do that to anyone, just a cautionary tale! lol If it makes ya feel any better I'm hoping for an October shower as well as I don't want to be SUPER preggo at the event. My MIL has mentioned me giving her a guest list of friends I'd like to have there so I assume she's taking the lead on it... guess we'll find out!

On the etiquette question, I've read that nobody in the families are supposed to host as it 'appears greedy' & that FRIENDS should host such an event... but that's some REALLY old standards & generally these days the grandmothers of the baby take it on.... that being said whomever is nice enough to throw a party for you is a fantastic person in my book! Good Luck!

lmlee15 · July 2014

I agree with PP's about the etiquette... with one slight variation. I'm a nurse and I work weird hours... because I'm already turning in my schedule around the time that they asked if I wanted my shower they gave me some choices about the date. (The one weekend I have a 2 day class to go to all day, the other my FF husband will be working a 24 hour shift) I'm grateful that they have offered to host a shower so other than they day I'm down for whatever >:D<

LadyXaverian · July 2014

With my first, my MIL and SIL hosted a shower for me. My co-workers also hosted one at work.

The showers didn't happen until well into my 3rd trimester, and I didn't even know for sure if I was having a family one until pretty late into my 2nd trimester.

MNgirl326 · July 2014

i had a few showers - all at about 30 -33 weeks.

they were given by my sisters (mom's side of family and my friends), my work, and my cousins (my dad's side of family)

I didn't ask anyone to throw them, they were offered and I had almost nothing to do with planning except for giving a addresses and okaying the dates.

ivananati · July 2014

I am also due in December and wanting my shower in October. I have decided on a Halloween shower to make it that much more fun. My mother in law wants to throw mine also and I'm going to let her, but I already have all my games picked out and the guest list done and food ideas. I can't help but want it done in a specific way. Hope this helps.

Unknown · July 2014

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allrightmeow · July 2014

aditigirl said:

I am also due in December and wanting my shower in October. I have decided on a Halloween shower to make it that much more fun. My mother in law wants to throw mine also and I'm going to let her, but I already have all my games picked out and the guest list done and food ideas. I can't help but want it done in a specific way. Hope this helps.
Oh so you're going to "let" your mil give you the gift of a shower, but you're actually going to plan it yourself? Aren't you a real peach!

I automatically thought of this..

Unknown · July 2014

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PrimRoseMama · July 2014

If no one offers to host one for you then you don't get one. Hosting a gift giving event for yourself is rude & tacky. Don't do it.

Tapsalteerie · July 2014

ivananati said:

I am also due in December and wanting my shower in October. I have decided on a Halloween shower to make it that much more fun. My mother in law wants to throw mine also and I'm going to let her, but I already have all my games picked out and the guest list done and food ideas. I can't help but want it done in a specific way. Hope this helps.

Will demands be made on what presents should be brought as well?

Twiggymommy · July 2014

No one offered to throw me one... so guess what ? I got everything I needed my self...

Dani0329 · July 2014

I am fairly certain one is in the works for me, but DH and I just started buying big ticket items off our registry and will continue to do so, just in case. Hope all works out for you.

shellybean3788 · July 2014

I can't see how it matters who throws your baby shower. I've been to plenty, and I never bothered to ask anyone, "ZOMG, did she throw this herself!? Eeewh!?"

But then again, I'm as tacky as it gets, so our fellow Bumpers would probably advise you to steer clear of my advice

. My sister wants to throw me a shower, and I told her that would be awesome, as long as it's co-ed, and if people decide to bring gifts, they should be brought unwrapped because I don't feel like torturing my friends and family for 2 hours trying to bend over & unwrap gifts while I'm as big as a house. I'm not five years old, and this isn't a birthday party. Guests should also feel comfortable bringing beer if they'd like, corn hole boards for fun, and let's make it an outdoor thing so it isn't so damn cramped.

Why am I so tacky? Well, because I hate baby showers. Especially the kinds where I have to guess the mother-to-be's belly circumference, sniff chocolate-covered diapers, and chug milk out of a bottle. I hate these things so much that I refuse to subject my friends and family to what I consider to be one of the most harrowing experiences a person can suffer.

Yes, if the people in my life realized that I had "interfered" in the planning of my baby shower, they would probably throw up their hands in horror, and that's okay. At least they won't be stuck playing "how many pacifiers are in the mason jar," or pin the sperm on the uterus.

shellybean3788 · July 2014

^This

Also, I like your "Listen, smile, and agree" quote.

Meery82 · July 2014

shellybean3788 said:
I can't see how it matters who throws your baby shower. I've been to plenty, and I never bothered to ask anyone, "ZOMG, did she throw this herself!? Eeewh!?"

But then again, I'm as tacky as it gets, so our fellow Bumpers would probably advise you to steer clear of my advice . My sister wants to throw me a shower, and I told her that would be awesome, as long as it's co-ed, and if people decide to bring gifts, they should be brought unwrapped because I don't feel like torturing my friends and family for 2 hours trying to bend over & unwrap gifts while I'm as big as a house. I'm not five years old, and this isn't a birthday party. Guests should also feel comfortable bringing beer if they'd like, corn hole boards for fun, and let's make it an outdoor thing so it isn't so damn cramped.

Why am I so tacky? Well, because I hate baby showers. Especially the kinds where I have to guess the mother-to-be's belly circumference, sniff chocolate-covered diapers, and chug milk out of a bottle. I hate these things so much that I refuse to subject my friends and family to what I consider to be one of the most harrowing experiences a person can suffer.

Yes, if the people in my life realized that I had "interfered" in the planning of my baby shower, they would probably throw up their hands in horror, and that's okay. At least they won't be stuck playing "how many pacifiers are in the mason jar," or pin the sperm on the uterus.

If you hate showers, don't have one. Buy your own shit.

Unknown · July 2014

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Unknown · July 2014

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Meery82 · July 2014

aditigirl said:
@shellybean3788‌ if I was invited to that shower I would so wrap the shit outta the gift I gave you, stick 14 bows on it and put it in a gift bag. And insist you open it.

This. Insisting that your guests can't wrap their gifts is so rude and gross.

MaybeKatie10 · July 2014

shellybean3788 said:

I can't see how it matters who throws your baby shower. I've been to plenty, and I never bothered to ask anyone, "ZOMG, did she throw this herself!? Eeewh!?"

But then again, I'm as tacky as it gets, so our fellow Bumpers would probably advise you to steer clear of my advice . My sister wants to throw me a shower, and I told her that would be awesome, as long as it's co-ed, and if people decide to bring gifts, they should be brought unwrapped because I don't feel like torturing my friends and family for 2 hours trying to bend over & unwrap gifts while I'm as big as a house. I'm not five years old, and this isn't a birthday party. Guests should also feel comfortable bringing beer if they'd like, corn hole boards for fun, and let's make it an outdoor thing so it isn't so damn cramped.

Why am I so tacky? Well, because I hate baby showers. Especially the kinds where I have to guess the mother-to-be's belly circumference, sniff chocolate-covered diapers, and chug milk out of a bottle. I hate these things so much that I refuse to subject my friends and family to what I consider to be one of the most harrowing experiences a person can suffer.

Yes, if the people in my life realized that I had "interfered" in the planning of my baby shower, they would probably throw up their hands in horror, and that's okay. At least they won't be stuck playing "how many pacifiers are in the mason jar," or pin the sperm on the uterus.

WAHOOO! WAHOOOO! Someone set off the Gimmee Pig Alarm!

jenjenbrassard · July 2014

Not having gifts wrapped ruins the surprise and takes some of the fun out of it for everyone there.

conradraging · July 2014

ivananati said:

I am also due in December and wanting my shower in October. I have decided on a Halloween shower to make it that much more fun. My mother in law wants to throw mine also and I'm going to let her, but I already have all my games picked out and the guest list done and food ideas. I can't help but want it done in a specific way. Hope this helps.

I want to tackle the tacky-tastic post, but I still can't get past this one.

Unknown · July 2014

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see8e · July 2014

I'm 18 weeks as well! My sisters-in-law want to throw me one, which they are in September, but my mom and blood sister also want to throw one, which they are in October. From what I've heard, you sort of let whoever wants to do something for you, do it.

A note about my mom/sister shower--they are essentially let me plan it, as I'm an event planner for a living and want to add another event to the portfolio, lol! Plus, when others throw it, they have total control RE decor, theme, food--you're only supposed to contribute the guest list. SOOO, if you want to throw one for yourself, do it!

see8e · July 2014

Gah, I just got through most of this thread and DAYUM, I didn't realize how catty and rude people can be to each other on here! I thought The Bump's various message boards were a place for advice- and experience-sharing, not a place to cast openly hostile and vitriolic judgment on others. Obviously, people aren't going to all agree on even a single issue, let alone the myriad involved in pregnancy and parenting, but let's keep it relatively civil, eh?

Weezy56 · July 2014

see8e said:
I'm 18 weeks as well! My sisters-in-law want to throw me one, which they are in September, but my mom and blood sister also want to throw one, which they are in October. From what I've heard, you sort of let whoever wants to do something for you, do it.

A note about my mom/sister shower--they are essentially let me plan it, as I'm an event planner for a living and want to add another event to the portfolio, lol! Plus, when others throw it, they have total control RE decor, theme, food--you're only supposed to contribute the guest list. SOOO, if you want to throw one for yourself, do it!

Lord have mercy, no.

There's a reason the planners are supposed to have total control- because they are the hostesses and are giving you a gift. I don't understand how people don't see how tacky it is to throw a gift giving party for yourself.

Unknown · July 2014

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conradraging · July 2014

see8e said:

Gah, I just got through most of this thread and DAYUM, I didn't realize how catty and rude people can be to each other on here! I thought The Bump's various message boards were a place for advice- and experience-sharing, not a place to cast openly hostile and vitriolic judgment on others. Obviously, people aren't going to all agree on even a single issue, let alone the myriad involved in pregnancy and parenting, but let's keep it relatively civil, eh?

Pointing out poor etiquette is civil...

You don't throw yourself a shower. Ever. Its not really debatable.

Meery82 · July 2014

see8e said:

Gah, I just got through most of this thread and DAYUM, I didn't realize how catty and rude people can be to each other on here! I thought The Bump's various message boards were a place for advice- and experience-sharing, not a place to cast openly hostile and vitriolic judgment on others. Obviously, people aren't going to all agree on even a single issue, let alone the myriad involved in pregnancy and parenting, but let's keep it relatively civil, eh?

Oh. We've never heard this rambling load of shit before. :-bd

momthatlifts · July 2014

First baby for me, never got offered a shower until I was totally content on not having one. Plus I already had most of the things I needed and didn't need my one bedroom apartment cluttered anymore than it is. I got a lot of gifts from family all throughout my pregnancy too. I would set up a registry just in case. You don't have to have a shower for people to want to be generous enough to get you a gift. I had a lot of people ask me if I had a registry so they could get me something.

JEMondy · July 2014

I agree with @see8e. No, I don't think it's acceptable to throw your own party, but I think there are much better ways of disagreeing with each other than what has been displayed thus far.

PrimRoseMama · July 2014

JEMondy said:
I agree with @see8e. No, I don't think it's acceptable to throw your own party, but I think there are much better ways of disagreeing with each other than what has been displayed thus far.

Lurk more.

Twiggymommy · August 2014

JEMondy said:
I agree with @see8e. No, I don't think it's acceptable to throw your own party, but I think there are much better ways of disagreeing with each other than what has been displayed thus far.

Do you want us to call you a waaambulance?

Sorry im watching modern family... I had to do it

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