For Discussion: How do you feel about this?

hmd · July 2014

https://fox6now.com/2014/07/29/mother-arrested-after-allowing-7-year-old-son-to-go-to-park-alone/

Hollylb3 · July 2014

gwapes said:
Ehhh. I don't know that I'd be ok with a 7 year old walking 1/2 mile to a park, but, I think arresting her and charging with a felony is a bit much, especially since there's no specific law against it.

This. That's kind of insane.

hmd · July 2014

I have a seven year old, and while I wouldn't let him walk to the park alone, I don't think she should have been arrested.

Arnegard · July 2014

I have a 6 year old and 8 year old. I cannot fathom letting them go 1/2 a mile to the park (which we have 2 within that distance). If there is a pool, that makes me believe there may be traffic or busy roads. I have watched one of A's classmates bike to school and swerve in front of vehicles before. It is scary to watch! I also know on an early release date one of A's classmates was allowed to walk home alone and she lives a block farther than we do.

I do feel that the Mom was in the wrong. I am not sure if I feel felony child neglect wrong though.

MesmrEwe · July 2014

I'm with the others in that this is overboard especially since there isn't a law on the books to cover it there.

In this nanny state, it's insane the laws we've got on the books in regard to this such that we have a house within a mile of DD's school, but because of state law, she isn't allowed to walk to school alone (residential neighborhood - not a lot of traffic, fire hall is on the corner - I'd feel safe allowing her to do so) until she's in at least 6th grade! Same goes for the park that is across the street from that house. It just seems like there isn't a window to allow parents to let kids develop their sense of responsibility anymore.

Keeptruckin · July 2014

I feel it was too far of a park for it to be okay. Maybe one right by the house. But no way my kid is going that far alone. If it's judged on a case by case basis, maybe she was too argumentative with the cop or maybe the cop say something that was a red flag, like maybe the mom really didn't know where her kid was? Who knows? It does seems excessive.

Aussie45 · July 2014

There was a four year old with an 11 year old out walking today where we live. I see this happen all the time where we live now. Tons of kids that are less than 10 are walking around without supervision.

I grew up in GA where there were a lot more stories about kids getting kidnapped. My mom was strict when I was young and now that I'm a mom, I can't say she was totally off base. I'm not comfortable with it, but at the same time, there isn't a specific law that says she should've been charged with a felony.

It's an interesting concept that her bondsman said that her parents would've been charged all the time with what they did with her as a kid. Times change and it is less and less safe for kids to be alone. I think it's up for the parent to decide that though, not necessarily law enforcement (unless it truly is negligence).

penguingrrl · July 2014

I think it's total bullshit. While I don't know that I would let a 7 year old walk that far alone, I also can't 100% say I won't let Julia do that by next summer, when she'll be nearly 8. And if it's not specifically against the law I don't understand how they can charge her. This is why we complain about parents helicoptering and how kids have no sense of independence or responsibility. The moment a parent does something to foster them they're fucking arrested.

AprilLVE · July 2014

It's so ridiculous. How is this kid or society in general better off by having this woman charged with a felony.

sschwege · July 2014

Aussie45 said:

There was a four year old with an 11 year old out walking today where we live. I see this happen all the time where we live now. Tons of kids that are less than 10 are walking around without supervision. I grew up in GA where there were a lot more stories about kids getting kidnapped. My mom was strict when I was young and now that I'm a mom, I can't say she was totally off base. I'm not comfortable with it, but at the same time, there isn't a specific law that says she should've been charged with a felony. It's an interesting concept that her bondsman said that her parents would've been charged all the time with what they did with her as a kid. Times change and it is less and less safe for kids to be alone. I think it's up for the parent to decide that though, not necessarily law enforcement (unless it truly is negligence).

Is it really less safe or do we just feel it's less safe? Honest question, not trying to be snarky.

sschwege · July 2014

diapersnwipes said:

See, I feel like there are 7 year olds all over large cities like NYC and Chicago walking places by themselves. Chicago didn't even offer buses so kids took public transportation. I saw plenty of elementary age kids on the train by themselves. Chances are my 7 year old isn't going to be going a 1/2 mile by herself but that's because I'm home but I'm not going to judge another mom for letting her kid do so.

It's funny because we live in Chicago and I kind of had the same thought. I see this all the time, I don't give it a second thought.

Not sure what age I would feel comfortable allowing DD to go on her own somewhere, it would depend on so many factors. There may be more to this story, but based on the info provided I don't think the mother was in the wrong and I definitely don't think she should be charged!

Andrewsgal · July 2014

sschwege said:

Aussie45 said:

There was a four year old with an 11 year old out walking today where we live. I see this happen all the time where we live now. Tons of kids that are less than 10 are walking around without supervision.

I grew up in GA where there were a lot more stories about kids getting kidnapped. My mom was strict when I was young and now that I'm a mom, I can't say she was totally off base. I'm not comfortable with it, but at the same time, there isn't a specific law that says she should've been charged with a felony.

It's an interesting concept that her bondsman said that her parents would've been charged all the time with what they did with her as a kid. Times change and it is less and less safe for kids to be alone. I think it's up for the parent to decide that though, not necessarily law enforcement (unless it truly is negligence).

Is it really less safe or do we just feel it's less safe? Honest question, not trying to be snarky.

Actually statistically it's safer than it was 25 years ago overall. On mobile but will find the study when I get home.

Andrewsgal · July 2014

Flame me to hell I have every intention of letting DD walk to school this year she is 7, it probably won't be until the end of the year when she is 8. I thibk saying you wouldn't even consider it for an 8 year old is a little over the top.

penguingrrl · July 2014

dandelionhater said:

Flame me to hell I have every intention of letting DD walk to school this year she is 7, it probably won't be until the end of the year when she is 8. I thibk saying you wouldn't even consider it for an 8 year old is a little over the top.

No flames here! I said I will consider it, I mostly have to get a little more familiar with my new area. If we were in our old town I would be planning on her walking home some days (although not many because they won't release kids in K to older siblings, so I would have to get her sister from the same place anyway). There all the kids walked home and there were a group of girls in her grade who lived in our neighborhood, so they would walk together.

orangegoggles · July 2014

I find this to be completely ridiculous. Do I side eye her as a parent? Hell yes. Do I think she should have been arrested and charged with a felony? Hell no.

And all across American young children walk everywhere...to school...parks...friends houses. This is a parenting issue. Some 7 year olds are more than responsible, some 13 year olds are no where near ready. There can't be a cut off age of what is deemed appropiate as every child and their parent are different.

sschwege · July 2014

dandelionhater said:

Aussie45 said:

There was a four year old with an 11 year old out walking today where we live. I see this happen all the time where we live now. Tons of kids that are less than 10 are walking around without supervision. I grew up in GA where there were a lot more stories about kids getting kidnapped. My mom was strict when I was young and now that I'm a mom, I can't say she was totally off base. I'm not comfortable with it, but at the same time, there isn't a specific law that says she should've been charged with a felony. It's an interesting concept that her bondsman said that her parents would've been charged all the time with what they did with her as a kid. Times change and it is less and less safe for kids to be alone. I think it's up for the parent to decide that though, not necessarily law enforcement (unless it truly is negligence).

Is it really less safe or do we just feel it's less safe? Honest question, not trying to be snarky.

Actually statistically it's safer than it was 25 years ago overall. On mobile but will find the study when I get home.

I was just reading that a child is far more likely to have a heart attack than be abducted by a stranger, and yet how often do we as parents worry about that? I think the media just wants us to be afraid, stories like that sell.

penguingrrl · July 2014

CnAmom said:

At my kids' elementary school there has to be an adult there to pick them up for k-2nd. Is this a thing for other schools?

At our old school it's only for K and the first part of 1st. After Thanksgiving the teachers release the kids at the door to the school and the kids find their parents themselves. Parents are supposed to be waiting outside the doors, but the school doesn't check that. One girl from Julia's K class walked home with her older brother (who was in 3rd grade) every day that wasn't too cold/rainy.

I don't know the rules in our new school yet, but I certainly hope they would allow my 7 year old 2nd grader to walk home alone as I do want to have that option. I may decide not to for other reasons but she's certainly old enough for me to make that decision, not the school.

I'll also say that IME a lot of maturity happens at age 7, so I could see where a just-turned-7-year-old would not quite be ready but a kid who will be 8 in a month is more than capable.

Andrewsgal · July 2014

CnAmom said:

At my kids' elementary school there has to be an adult there to pick them up for k-2nd. Is this a thing for other schools?

ours is K and 1st.

zbeesma86 · July 2014

what's the difference between walking to school or the park at that age?

when I was 7 I walked to school with my sister and a couple other kids.

Arnegard · July 2014

dandelionhater said:

Flame me to hell I have every intention of letting DD walk to school this year she is 7, it probably won't be until the end of the year when she is 8. I thibk saying you wouldn't even consider it for an 8 year old is a little over the top.

There so many factors at play. I cannot make a blanket statement about all kids. In my neighborhood, to get to either park nearby, it involves crossing a bust street. I am not comfortable with that for my kids. Our school is a mile away and involves crossing 2 busy streets. If it were a matter of walking 2-5 residential blocks, maybe.

I am not in a large city with public transportation. It's all what you are used to. Here, people do not walk a mile to school, but half of the school year those morning walks will be below freezing too.

rosesandpetals · July 2014

With numerous pedophiles in the area, I would not let my 7 year old play alone at a park a 1/2 mile away and I don't think she should either. That said, arresting her is over the top.

I grew up in a city and not all parks are made equal. There were 2 parks within 10 minutes (walking) of my house. My parents let me go to one all.the.time. The other, I was never allowed to go to. Some places are just where weirdos hang out. I think the cops maybe bringing the kid home and warning her of that would have been fine. An arrest is ridiculous.

lavendergiraffes · July 2014

CnAmom said:
At my kids' elementary school there has to be an adult there to pick them up for k-2nd. Is this a thing for other schools?

The school I taught at had this rule for pick up but not for drop off the bus. K had to have a parent get them off the bus and wouldn't drop off if there was no one. 1st and 2nd gets dropped off if no one is there. However there aren't sidewalks around the school so that may have something to do with it.

honkytonk_kid · July 2014

zbeesma86 said:
what's the difference between walking to school or the park at that age?

when I was 7 I walked to school with my sister and a couple other kids.

I can see differentiating between these two, as when a kid is walking to/from school someone is waiting on either end and would notice if they didn't make it. Walking to the park to play is more open ended situation- in theory something could happen to them and a parent wouldn't notice for a while.

I'm not sure at what age I would be comfortable sending a kid to the park alone, it would depend on the kid, area, if other kids were going, etc. Going with a couple kids would make me more comfortable than alone.

I remember walking to a convenience store with my sister to turn in cans and buy candy at maaaaybe 7 and 8. Even then I thought my dad was a little crazy, but we obviously made it

mandymack · July 2014

I have a nearly 8 year old daughter and still will NOT allow her to walk alone to/from school and it's literally one block over and on the same street. Like, I can SEE it standing on the sidewalk outside the front door.

The crosswalks are not manned, kids cross without help, and parents are constantly calling police on cars not stopping, rolling through the stops, nearly hitting walkers, etc. It's written up too often in our school newsletter for me to feel comfortable with it.

I have no hardship walking her to/from school so this may sway my opinion.

Arresting that mother is atrocious and does nothing but her her family

notkateanymore · July 2014

dandelionhater said:

Flame me to hell I have every intention of letting DD walk to school this year she is 7, it probably won't be until the end of the year when she is 8. I thibk saying you wouldn't even consider it for an 8 year old is a little over the top.

CnAmom said:

At my kids' elementary school there has to be an adult there to pick them up for k-2nd. Is this a thing for other schools?

Nope, there are no rules like that at our school and I would say tang more than half the kids walk, maybe more than 3/4. Nobody picks their kid up past 2nd grade for sure, mostly 1st grade.

penguingrrl · July 2014

DC2London said:

There are some things that you don't do because they are wrong and illegal.
There are some things you don't do because they simply aren't a great idea.
This seems to be the latter, yet it is being treated as the former. And I'm about as Liberal as they come, but at a certain point, isn't the law overstepping its boundaries by interfering in your parenting?

Are you going to take my liberal card now? Is Bill Maher going to come and personally take my HBO Go password from me?

No one is taking your liberal card for this thought

. I'm all for protecting the children from unknown dangers and for the community (which these days is often the state as families disperse now more than ever and often lack the traditional village) stepping in when parents aren't doing the right thing, but letting a 7 year old have a little freedom isn't a bad thing and arresting a parent for letting a 7 year old have a little freedom is the very definition of an overreaction.

And I am actually a fan of the "nanny state" in many instances.

fitmom82 · July 2014

amy052006 said:

THIS IS WHY PEOPLE HELICOPTER AND DON'T LEAVE THEIR KIDS IN CARS

Because some nosy bitch is always lurking, and people don't wnat to go to jail.

I went to a deli today for 2 sandwiches. I parked directly infront of the deli, I had an automatic starter and could have left the kids inside, locked, with the AC on, but it felt incredibly neglectfully. Yes I was worried about what people might say or think, but I was also worried about leaving them unattended in a car.

I teach in an urban area and often see 4 or 5 year olds walking to school in a small group or with their older (middle school) siblings, and I think it's crazy. If something had happened to that child people would be complaining about the parent's choice left and right. There would be outrage about how neglecful the parent was and how any idiot can be a parent.

My children are 2 and 4, there is a park about 3-4 blocks from my house. If I had to guess, I'm thinking atleast 12 before they can walk their alone. We live in a safe, suburaban area. I was informed of 1 sex offender that moved in 2 blocks in the other direction, I'm not sure if there are any other in the area. I don't know what I'd do if anything ever happened to my child, and it's my #1 responsiblility to keep them safe. What was the kid's mother doing? laundry? taking a nap? what is more important that your child's saftey?

I agree with the mother being arested. Maybe he other parenting practices need to be looked over as well.

fitmom82 · July 2014

zbeesma86 said:

what's the difference between walking to school or the park at that age?

when I was 7 I walked to school with my sister and a couple other kids.

because if you're not at school someone will probably call within an hour. Who knows how long this mom expected to hear from her son again. Alot has changed in 20 years, I'd never let my 7 year old walk to school unless I was parked outside every few blocks to make sure she made it.

rosesandpetals · July 2014

fitmom82 said:

amy052006 said:

THIS IS WHY PEOPLE HELICOPTER AND DON'T LEAVE THEIR KIDS IN CARS

Because some nosy bitch is always lurking, and people don't wnat to go to jail.

I went to a deli today for 2 sandwiches. I parked directly infront of the deli, I had an automatic starter and could have left the kids inside, locked, with the AC on, but it felt incredibly neglectfully. Yes I was worried about what people might say or think, but I was also worried about leaving them unattended in a car.

I teach in an urban area and often see 4 or 5 year olds walking to school in a small group or with their older (middle school) siblings, and I think it's crazy. If something had happened to that child people would be complaining about the parent's choice left and right. There would be outrage about how neglecful the parent was and how any idiot can be a parent.

My children are 2 and 4, there is a park about 3-4 blocks from my house. If I had to guess, I'm thinking atleast 12 before they can walk their alone. We live in a safe, suburaban area. I was informed of 1 sex offender that moved in 2 blocks in the other direction, I'm not sure if there are any other in the area. I don't know what I'd do if anything ever happened to my child, and it's my #1 responsiblility to keep them safe. What was the kid's mother doing? laundry? taking a nap? what is more important that your child's saftey?

I agree with the mother being arested. Maybe he other parenting practices need to be looked over as well.

Hope you have your flame suit.

lexusolsen · July 2014

fitmom82 said:

amy052006 said:

THIS IS WHY PEOPLE HELICOPTER AND DON'T LEAVE THEIR KIDS IN CARS

Because some nosy bitch is always lurking, and people don't wnat to go to jail.

I went to a deli today for 2 sandwiches. I parked directly infront of the deli, I had an automatic starter and could have left the kids inside, locked, with the AC on, but it felt incredibly neglectfully. Yes I was worried about what people might say or think, but I was also worried about leaving them unattended in a car.

I teach in an urban area and often see 4 or 5 year olds walking to school in a small group or with their older (middle school) siblings, and I think it's crazy. If something had happened to that child people would be complaining about the parent's choice left and right. There would be outrage about how neglecful the parent was and how any idiot can be a parent.

My children are 2 and 4, there is a park about 3-4 blocks from my house. If I had to guess, I'm thinking atleast 12 before they can walk their alone. We live in a safe, suburaban area. I was informed of 1 sex offender that moved in 2 blocks in the other direction, I'm not sure if there are any other in the area. I don't know what I'd do if anything ever happened to my child, and it's my #1 responsiblility to keep them safe. What was the kid's mother doing? laundry? taking a nap? what is more important that your child's saftey?

I agree with the mother being arested. Maybe
he other parenting practices need to be looked over as well.

What else was she doing?! How about working? Not everyone is as lucky as we are to work in a field that allows us to leave at a reasonable hour most days. God forbid a parent need to work in an industry that doesn't revolve around a school schedule.

I wouldn't let my kid walk to the park that 1/2 a mile away for several reasons. I also would prefer that a child that age be in some sort of program instead of on his/ her own but I know that my suburban lifestyle provides for that and many others (including the urban high school kids I teach) don't have that luxury.

AprilLVE · July 2014

I don't get the argument that when walking to school someone is waiting on the other end. Wouldn't the teacher just assume the kid was absent? I don't think a search team gets launched the minute a kid doesn't show for attendance.

And 12 before they're allowed to walk somewhere alone? That's extreme.

rosesandpetals · July 2014

AprilLVE said:

I don't get the argument that when walking to school someone is waiting on the other end. Wouldn't the teacher just assume the kid was absent? I don't think a search team gets launched the minute a kid doesn't show for attendance.

And 12 before they're allowed to walk somewhere alone? That's extreme.

At most schools, if the kids don't show up then the office calls the parent to see if they're sick or to let them know they didn't make it.

eaglesfan700 · July 2014

amy052006 said:

fitmom82 said:

amy052006 said:

THIS IS WHY PEOPLE HELICOPTER AND DON'T LEAVE THEIR KIDS IN CARS

Because some nosy bitch is always lurking, and people don't wnat to go to jail.

I went to a deli today for 2 sandwiches. I parked directly infront of the deli, I had an automatic starter and could have left the kids inside, locked, with the AC on, but it felt incredibly neglectfully. Yes I was worried about what people might say or think, but I was also worried about leaving them unattended in a car.

I teach in an urban area and often see 4 or 5 year olds walking to school in a small group or with their older (middle school) siblings, and I think it's crazy. If something had happened to that child people would be complaining about the parent's choice left and right. There would be outrage about how neglecful the parent was and how any idiot can be a parent.

My children are 2 and 4, there is a park about 3-4 blocks from my house. If I had to guess, I'm thinking atleast 12 before they can walk their alone. We live in a safe, suburaban area. I was informed of 1 sex offender that moved in 2 blocks in the other direction, I'm not sure if there are any other in the area. I don't know what I'd do if anything ever happened to my child, and it's my #1 responsiblility to keep them safe. What was the kid's mother doing? laundry? taking a nap? what is more important that your child's saftey?

I agree with the mother being arested. Maybe he other parenting practices need to be looked over as well.

What if she was working out? Would it be ok then?

Seriously. I don't even know how to respond to this. I guess I just don't love my kids that much

eaglesfan700 · July 2014

Right? I love how this lady gets arrested for nothing, but DYFS is so overwhelmed that people like Danieal Kelly die while supposedly being "protected". (Philly ladies know what I am talking about, otherwise, google it).

AprilLVE · July 2014

CnAmom said:

My kids' school will call within an hour if they don't show up and weren't called in. They even called once when we had called in.

Huh, the more you know.

penguingrrl · July 2014

I can't imagine not letting my children walk somewhere alone under age 12. By 10 or so my bike was my main form of transportation and it remained that way until I got my license and bought a car. I expect my kids to follow the same path. Unless it dark or rainy my mother didn't drive me somewhere unless she was going too.

dizzycooks · July 2014

I guess I better get an attorney because my kids will be running to the store for me before 12 and they will know how to get to various locations in our area via bike or foot safely. I expect them to be fluent in using public transportation long before they get licenses as well. Those are life skills and I intend to teach them. Part of teaching is guided practice. Most kids have phones and I would perhaps need a quick text upon arrival or departure just to know what to expect, but I'm my mind that is simple courtesy and dh and I do the same for each other.

Keeptruckin · July 2014

I think it kind of shows we all live in different environments and our kids can mature at different rates. For us I'm thinking maybe 8 to walk so we here close like the park but who knows? In our old neighbourhood our park had broken beer bottles and needles everywhere. Condoms found quite often. Our new neighbourhood has a beautiful park, parents are always there, I have never seen a stoned teen sitting on the slide. So that colors how confident I feel her being by herself there for sure!

Andrewsgal · July 2014

fitmom82 said:

amy052006 said:

THIS IS WHY PEOPLE HELICOPTER AND DON'T LEAVE THEIR KIDS IN CARS

Because some nosy bitch is always lurking, and people don't wnat to go to jail.

I went to a deli today for 2 sandwiches. I parked directly infront of the deli, I had an automatic starter and could have left the kids inside, locked, with the AC on, but it felt incredibly neglectfully. Yes I was worried about what people might say or think, but I was also worried about leaving them unattended in a car.

I teach in an urban area and often see 4 or 5 year olds walking to school in a small group or with their older (middle school) siblings, and I think it's crazy. If something had happened to that child people would be complaining about the parent's choice left and right. There would be outrage about how neglecful the parent was and how any idiot can be a parent.

My children are 2 and 4, there is a park about 3-4 blocks from my house. If I had to guess, I'm thinking atleast 12 before they can walk their alone. We live in a safe, suburaban area. I was informed of 1 sex offender that moved in 2 blocks in the other direction, I'm not sure if there are any other in the area. I don't know what I'd do if anything ever happened to my child, and it's my #1 responsiblility to keep them safe. What was the kid's mother doing? laundry? taking a nap? what is more important that your child's saftey?

I agree with the mother being arested. Maybe he other parenting practices need to be looked over as well.

You are absolutely ridiculous and completely out if touch with life. If I were to have to wait until my child was 12 to walk somewhere in our safe suburban neighborhood then I would be failing as a parent. I think in that case you should be arrested for raising dependent kids with no life skills. I mean if we are making up laws and reasons to arrest. You need to spend more time learning about real life and less at the gym.

Andrewsgal · July 2014

DC2London said:

I hate when people use the "I did it as a kid" argument. This is not 1980. We are so, so far from 1980.

yep statically we are safer now.

Andrewsgal · July 2014

Does anyone remember @fitmom82‌ parenting advice to avoid all fights and just keep the peace? Yeah way more damaging than letting a kid walk to a park alone.

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