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October 2013 Moms
QuigleyCat1
member
Just waiving hello!
QuigleyCat1
member
*Sorry this will be long!
Hello O13 Mommies! @rsigler and a couple others mentioned me in a recent thread and I just wanted to give a quick update. I'm doing pretty well for the most part. This was one of my Bump homes for about 17 weeks while I was pregnant with Liam. I received so much love and support before, during and after his diagnosis of Trisomy 13. Since we lost him I've had tons of ups and downs. He went to Heaven on April 27th and that summer was a fog. I had such a hard time. I gained weight from all of my night-snacking and had basically zero exercise. I did the bare minimum to get through my day and cried myself to sleep every night. My husband, family and friends were an incredible support and always there for me, but thank God for our first son, K. He was the only source of any kind of smile or laughter. He was only three at the time, but he saved me.
Once I got closer what would've been Liam's EDD of October 4th, I began to plan what I'd like to do to honor him that day. I decided to go to the beach that day to release a balloon in the morning and to collect some beach rocks...something to treasure from that day. I got down to the beach and was literally about to let go of the balloon's ribbon when my cell rang. It was my mom...she was crying. My uncle (her brother) passed away that morning. It was terrible, bittersweet and somehow comforting if that makes sense. He passed on Liam's EDD and I think there was a reason.
After that day passed, things were slightly better but I was still so sad. Everyday it was, "Liam should be one month old" or "He should be in my arms." DH was always so sweet to understand and comfort me. He had such a hard time too, but was trying to be strong for me. 
Then one day in November I woke up and said, "enough is enough". I got myself to the gym and began running everyday. Once that became habit, I thought maybe I should run my first 5K. That was it...I had a purpose, albeit small. I signed up for the May 10th Color Run! Guess what? I did it! I ran the entire way! I can't tell you how emotional I was prior to the race. Even DH was crying for me and my entire family was there too to support me. I ran with some incredible friends...I DID IT! With all the running I lost about 15 lbs and I'm currently wearing clothes I haven't worn in over 5 years. I feel better emotionally. The Sunshine Mission sent me a beautiful photo of a butterfly drawn in the sand with Liam's name. I cherish it but didn't know where to hang it. We just recently remodeled our living and dining rooms and the butterfly portrait proudly hangs in our living room for all to see! It makes me smile every single day. Most days are good now. I still have those where I break down, but Liam is such a part of my heart that I don't think that I could ever sink back to how I felt a year ago. I wish he were here, I wish he were in my arms, I wish he could've known his big brother...but I'm very hopeful that one day I will see him when the time is right. Until then he is such a big part of our lives everyday. He's our second son, after all.
DH is, I would say, 99% sure that we won't TTC any longer. I'm getting closer to the same thought. I'll be 38 in January. I know plenty of women are safely pregnant well into their 40's. I'm just not sure that's where I want to go. He and I still have to officially have "the talk", but we are so overjoyed with our son, K and we know that it will be easier to provide him with everything that he'll need in life. There are days when all I can think about is trying once more, but those days are no longer outnumbering the "I-think-we're-good-right-here" days. We'll see. We are however discussing the possibility of adopting a rescue greyhound. I've been researching and learning as much as I can. I told DH the other day that since I couldn't save Liam that I very strongly feel the need to rescue something. I realize that sounds kind of crazy, but I can't describe the feeling that I "need" to do something. He understood what I meant and so we're in the beginning stages of all of that.
So that's our life right now. We survived and are pressing on. And most days are smiley ones! Although, every time I see a rainbow I cry, I'm smiling too. Liam is part of our family always.
Thank you all for thinking of me and mentioning me. I hope you're all well! Your little ones are absolutely adorable and I'm so happy to see your families thriving! Thank you so very much! ~QuigleyCat1
***BFP 1-22-13, baby boy dx with Trisomy 13 at 15 weeks.
We let him go to Heaven on 4-27-13 at 17 weeks 1 day***
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Just waiving hello!
BFP: 1.19.2013 - EDD: 10.2.2013 - It's a girl! 9.25.13: Welcome Addison!
May Siggy: Baby in disguise
***BFP 1-22-13, baby boy dx with Trisomy 13 at 15 weeks.
We let him go to Heaven on 4-27-13 at 17 weeks 1 day***
I hope your DS is doing well! DD is obsessed with turning 5 and starting kindergarten.
((Hugs)) as always.
***BFP 1-22-13, baby boy dx with Trisomy 13 at 15 weeks.
We let him go to Heaven on 4-27-13 at 17 weeks 1 day***