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August 2014 Moms
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STM + how do you let LO bond with hubby

wandsandwinewandsandwine member
in August 2014 Moms
We're home with our LO for the first night and he is crying up a storm. DH tried to sooth him so I could get a couple hours of sleep but he would not stop crying. I woke up and took him from hubby and he settled down instantly. It's good Jack stopped crying but I saw hubby's heart break in front of me. How did you get your LO to bond so he feels just as comfortable with hubby?
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Re: STM + how do you let LO bond with hubby

  • ungraceful13ungraceful13 member
    In the beginning stages DH would change diapers and do skin on skin with the baby. Often DD would need me bc she wanted to nurse or be with momma but he would just keep trying. He would wear her around the house when she was fussy. Just letting him be involved without interferring is helpful.
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  • rstarrlemaitrerstarrlemaitre member
    DH has taken on diaper duty, and he's adorable with it! He sings DS silly songs, or chats with him through the process, and I can tell he really likes having those moments since I'm the only one feeding for the moment. Good luck!
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  • belle785belle785 member
    He lets him sleep on him during the day if he doesn't want to be out down, diaper changes, bath time (when it is time for that). Are you nursing? Baby may smell the milk already and just be more comfortable with you right now since you have what makes him content.

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  • BeachMBeachM member
    DH does bath time and most diaper changes.  He also is more likely to want to hold DS2 while he sleeps than I am since I will put him down and then get things done around the house. 

    Some advice - Have DH start bath time now and let it be his job from now until there is no more bath time.  A year from now it will be really nice to know you are "off duty" at a certain time every day. 

    The preference of one parent over the other never ends.  It comes and goes in phases, so just remind yourself that whatever is happening now is going to change and then change again.  My dad has always been DS1's favorite.  He could take or leave the rest of us on a rotating basis, LOL!
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  • tamarar5tamarar5 member
    We had a really mellow baby last time so I don't think it was much of an issue. But DH did a lot of diapers, and he would lie on the couch with DS sleeping on his chest. He did skin to skin (mostly because DH would come home from work dirty and pull off his shirt and not put another on right away). But even then there were times when only mommy would do.

    Are you breastfeeding? If so, remind your DH that babies often find comfort from smells, and baby can smell your milk. Don't let him get discouraged. Maybe try wrapping yourself with one of LO's blankets as much as possible during the day, I know it's summer. ;). Get your smell on the blanket them have DH use only that blanket during his baby time? LO will smell you and associate comfort, while also getting used to your husband and his smell.
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  • rockyrollgirlrockyrollgirl member
    edited July 2014
    C went through a phase of wanting only me in the beginning. I would pump bottles for H so he could feed her sometimes. He took over diapers changes and burping since day 1. I was still the only one able to calm her. 

    Now she can't get enough of her "Dada". 
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  • bcbuzzafsubcbuzzafsu member
    edited July 2014
    I don't have advice, but in two years you'll absolutely love it when Dad becomes the favorite parent.  You can pee by yourself.

    ETA not that it will take two years to happen...
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  • MC03MC03 member
    flip_flops said:
    DH does bath time and most diaper changes.  He also is more likely to want to hold DS2 while he sleeps than I am since I will put him down and then get things done around the house. 

    Some advice - Have DH start bath time now and let it be his job from now until there is no more bath time.  A year from now it will be really nice to know you are "off duty" at a certain time every day. 

    The preference of one parent over the other never ends.  It comes and goes in phases, so just remind yourself that whatever is happening now is going to change and then change again.  My dad has always been DS1's favorite.  He could take or leave the rest of us on a rotating basis, LOL!

    I second the advice about DH starting bath time from the beginning. We did that with DD and he still bathes her. That is their special time together everyday now.
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  • Fineleo31Fineleo31 member
    We had a bit of a reverse of this. We ended up having a c-section so there were a lot of moments when it was quicker for my husband to get to her before me. She was more comfortable with him and I was s hurt and felt like I was never gonna get to comfort her. It changed quickly. She's three now and we're struggling with her feeling comfortable with him. She's starting to adjust. No choice with another coming but it was rough for a little while there. It got to the point where I couldn't do things like get down on the floor to bathe her and tuck her into her toddler bed. It just became a rule that daddy had to do it. I think it helped a lot. She lets him do more now without fighting.
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