I need to vent.

amybug13 · July 2014

I can't complain to anyone else because no one seems to understand.

My DH is extremely helpful with Brylee and cleaning the house if I ask, but he's oblivious to what needs to be done unless I point it out! It just seems like common sense to change the trash when it's full or give the baby a bath because it's almost bed time. Is it just me or do all guys need a running to-do list?! I'm going insane.

Rant over.

mfarmer0811 · July 2014

It's a man thing.

LiFeIsAmIrAcLe · July 2014

mfarmer0811 said:

It's a man thing.

^^ This.
:-S

mfarmer0811 · July 2014

Also, mh and I have had plenty of arguments about this, especially when it comes to LO. He has flat out told me I have to be very specific when it comes to asking him to do things. Maybe it's something you can talk to YH about.

cdnmomma · July 2014

We have a whiteboard list. I love it. It does the nagging for me and I don't have to say a word. If I'm busy doing something around the house or for m and he's sitting around watching tv I just make sure he noticed me glance at the list and he is literally up within seconds! It's magical!!

acdiaz11 · July 2014

MH and I sat down and talked about what I need from him on a daily basis. If we are trying to get out the door or I ask him to do something new, I need to lay out exactly what I need from him/what I need him to do.

pepperedmoth · July 2014

I really don't think it's a "man thing." It's just that different people have different standards of cleanliness. MH is way cleaner than I am. I just don't see some things as a problem --- like if the sink is empty and there isn't any scuzz I'm happy, but in his eyes a ring left by a coffee cup in the bottom is DIRTY and he is cranky until the sink has been scrubbed.

Every day I suggest to him things that I think need doing/would like to do (today it's run a load of laundry, tidy the clutter off the coffee table, and clean out the rollers on the vacuum) and he approves/amends it (he added sorting out some of the old baby clothes that are cluttering the nursery).

This works well for us because if I come up with a list myself I don't feel like he is badgering me, he sees that I really am pitching in, and he gets help with the things he is most frustrated by (or he just does them himself!)

SmittyPants · July 2014

My husband is a slob. If I weren't around he would be living like a hoarder and not even notice. I made my peace with it long ago and realized that if I want something cleaned, I just have to do it myself. To me, it just isn't worth the aggravation to constantly be on him about putting this away or picking that up or making sure this gets done. Yes, it's more work for me but it's also less stress.

If it's really that important to you, then sit down together and figure out a way to work it out. Otherwise, consider just letting it go.

amybug13 · July 2014

I've tried a lot of different approaches because I also don't want to sound like his mom giving him a chore list, but honestly, I think he would prefer that over me nagging when things aren't done.

I left a note on the mirror this morning to do the dishes and a few things pertaining to the baby and hallelujah they were done! I guess I was more bothered by making him a list than he was!! Maybe this is the beginning to a clean house! <:-P

tsmith312 · July 2014

mfarmer0811 said:
It's a man thing.

^ yup this . That's why I usually just do everything myself and be come with it . He's like a freakin kid !

angelsnight · July 2014

Yep, MH is like this. Apparently the trash in the bathroom overflowing onto the floor isn't a good enough reminder, I have to actually tell him to empty the trash.

A honey-do list sometimes works for us, but sometimes I swears he needs a honey-do list to remind him to read the honey-do list.

dancer7889 · July 2014

My DH is like this! I can't assume anything will get done unless I specifically ask him to do it. He's getting better about doing the list though. I just ask him to do easy things, such as dishes, vacuuming, or diaper laundry that he can't really mess up. I do the major cleaning like dusting and mopping. He finds the list annoying but better than me constantly being mad at him for being lazy.

kimberpoo · July 2014

yup. I've exploded on dh a few times about this same sort of thing. the only way he will clean is if i ask him to do specific things. pisses me off to no end, but i try to choose my battles soI just leave him a list and try to not stress about it too much.

scrumpfy · July 2014

I ask my H to do things. And then he does them. Without complaining.
But I have to ask. He doesn't notice / care.

Hdhtk4 · July 2014

DH will not do anything. He gets mad if I make a list or if I verbally remind him. There is literally a honey-do list on my refrigerator from LAST FALL because he has finished ONE task out of ten (to his credit they were bigger jobs...like finish laying landscaping bricks). If I ask him to take the overflowing trash out of the trash can (literally his one responsibility), he always says "I'll do it tomorrow." If I ask him to pick all his clothes up that he just throws on the floor, he says "I'll do it tomorrow." I've been asking him to pick up his clothes off the floor and in the laundry room daily for four weeks now and he has yet to touch them. I am so beyond frustrated! I've really got to find some peace about this. :-w

Kmwberg · July 2014

This just happened last night. I put LO to bed, as I do every night, myself. I came down stairs and he's laying on the couch half asleep. It's only 945. There's still dishes in the sink, his laundry in the dryer, bottles needed to be cleaned. So while I'm upstairs, bathing, feeding, and putting the baby to sleep, you're downstairs watching TV. I'm still so aggravated. I shouldn't have to tell him what needs to be done around the house.

bumpuser9058414 · July 2014

Yep my DH is the same way. He'll do whatever I ask him to do but I have to ask.

Aliki · July 2014

It's a man thing.

I said: "The dishwasher needs to be emptied."

Every mom on M14 knows EXACTLY what that means.

Yet MH did not do it. When I ranted at him, he said "if you want me to do something, you need to just ask."

So now I'm explicit. I now say: "I need you to empty the dishwasher."

kaking78 · July 2014

MH is the same way. The more explicit the directions the more likely it is to get done.

amybug13 · July 2014

We talked last night and he told me that he's oblivious to what needs to be done, especially with LO. He said that he would prefer me to tell him what needs to be font or a list. Let's see how this goes.

amybug13 · July 2014

*done

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I need to vent.

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Married : ** 09/09/2011 ** BFP : 07-18-13 ** Baby #1 is a GIRL , Born 03/12/14 **

** BFP 2 : 01- 05-15 ** EDD 09-11-15 **

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Married : 09/09/2011 BFP : 07-18-13 Baby #1 is a GIRL , Born 03/12/14

BFP 2 : 01- 05-15 EDD 09-11-15 **