How do you deal?? (Pregnancy and Children Mentioned....Not Mine) Lots of ranting

doucettechristina · July 2014

I feel like my facebook newsfeed has been blowing up with babies and pregnancies more than usual lately. Normally these things don't bother me as much, but for some reason today they are. My sister-in-law is pregnant with her second and she is not one to stay quiet about things and loves to be the center of attention while disregarding other's feelings. Went to dinner with the in-laws the other day and she had the nerve to pull me aside to tell me all about her pregnancy; how great it is she is pregnant again and that they find out the sex on Friday. She even asked me if I wanted to go!!!!! REALLY?!?! DH and I have decided not to tell his family about the severe troubles that we are having because they tend to blow things out of proportion and want to talk about it 24/7, but know that we have been trying for a year and a half now. I'm so tired of having to suppress my emotions and crying alone in the bathroom or to my husband at home. Why is it so easy for some and not others?! Unfortunately I also hold a lot of resentment towards my sister-in-law due to the fact that her 1st pregnancy was total unplanned, she was barely 21, and not married. She could barely afford to take care of herself and now she was pregnant like it was the easiest thing in the world and everyone was so happy for her. I really wanted to be happy but couldn't. Now she is pregnant with #2 not even 2 years later only after being off BC for 1 month! Not everyone is super excited about this pregnancy being that she can barley afford taking care of the one now and has to ask people to buy her diapers/food/etc all the time which makes it easier on me, but I still feel like such a horrible person. I'm not sure how to deal with all of these emotions and just want to go hide under a rock! My sister-in-law is not the easiest person to talk to so that is out of the question...

LindseyM2012 · July 2014

I actually "Unfollowed" all of my FB friends who are pregnant or have babies. I'm still friends with them on FB, but their updates don't pop up on my newsfeed. This way I can still check up on their lives when I'm in a state of mind where I can handle the baby thing. This has helped me keep my sanity lately!

shirleymaeby · July 2014

I'm with Lindsey. I just block all the pregnant ladies from my FB because I can't handle it most days.

Don't know what to tell you about the SIL though. I'm sorry, that's a rough situation. I understand not wanting to let everyone know about your IF issues, especially if they will want to talk about it all the time. On the other hand, they won't have any idea how much they are upsetting you unless you talk to them about it.

catlover790 · July 2014

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this! It is so hard and I also unfollowed a lot of people lately.

Dealing with family is hard too because like PPs said, they may not know that they are hurting you if you don't tell them about stuff. I do think though if they know you've been TTC for one and a half years then that should be an indicator about your difficulties.

I think of it were me I would limit how much I see them. I don't know if that's the best way to deal with it but I think I'd need to put myself first. I am the type to put on a happy face and suffer so that other people can be happy and it gets tiring! I think you need to do what's best for you. I'm sorry! (hugs)

mindaa · July 2014

First, I let myself feel jealous, angry, sad, whatever it is that I need to feel. And I put down some alcohol. Then, I put on my big girl panties and remind myself that "that person's pregnancy has nothing to do with mine."

Are they struggling with IF? No. Are they dealing with different crap? Yes. Because everyone is (or has, or will) no matter how peachy things look from the outside. And just like they don't know about your struggles, you may not know about theirs.

BunnyBerry · July 2014

I'm so sorry. That is truly not fair.

I guess one way to look at it is, you are clearly the better person and will provide a stable and responsible home with everything your child needs, and teach a powerful example of self-reliance and consideration of other to make sure your kid(s) are awesome people!!!

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How do you deal?? (Pregnancy and Children Mentioned....Not Mine) Lots of ranting

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