Hiring a Doula

molecularmolly · September 2018

Hey guys, so I know it's early in our pregnancies still, but is anyone else planning on hiring a birth doula? Have you started contacting them? I did yesterday and have 3 meet and greets set up (and it turns out it's definitely NOT to early around here, the most well known doula in the area who we're going to meet with said we're her last slot for April!!).

We meet with one this evening, and I realized despite having trained to be a birth Doula myself, I don't really know what to ask them? I think I mostly want to get a feel for how they answer, but to do that I need some questions. What are you planning on asking?

harveyisaboysname · September 2018

Hey I’m trained as a birth doula myself! I only had one client so I’m zero help on questions and all.

i really want to get one for myself as well since I had no one really advocating for me with DD.
I guess this is my following dot

MRDCle · September 2018

I just talked to a doula team. My main questions related to possible cesarean support and help with multiples. We also discussed my previous birth experience and what I want different this time. We discussed their experience at the hospital where I’ll be delivering and possible post-partum care. I liked them a lot and from emails they see to be the most comfortable with multiple birth and I like their team approach so I won’t have a stranger there.

sheepshepherdess · September 2018

I'm in the same boat, want to hire a doula for support in the local hospital in case we can't make it to the birthing center. Eagerly awaiting others' experiences!

We did interview a midwife when we first started TTC (and she said that was the right time to start interviewing!) but we live so far from a hospital that I just never got comfortable with the idea of home birth.

kaleesi93 · September 2018

I want to hire a doula/photographer so she can offer support if I need her but will have a job so she isn't just waiting around watching me breathe..
I've looked into a few but still haven't made a final decision, my questions for a doula will be along the same lines as what I'm asking my midwife. But basically what atmosphere she will contribute, and what is she prepared for in case of plan B birth plans.

sheepshepherdess · September 2018

I did want to share a doula story that still amazes me. *TW problem birth*

My friend and neighbor hired a midwife and doula who work closely together to help her with a home birth. The doula lives about 30mins from us and the midwife 45mins. Well, her labor went very quickly, unexpectedly, and the midwife couldn't get there on time but the doula did. Baby was born breach and not breathing, so the doula did CPR for 15mins as they drove to the nearest hospital. The doula saved his life and was worth a whole lot more than they paid for her.

That is not a doula's normal job. But I wanted to give an example of how amazing these providers can be, and how they often go above and beyond for their patients.

sheepshepherdess · September 2018

@kaleesi93 I hadn't thought about the fact that the doula will often stand around not doing anything. Photographer is a great idea! Though not sure I want photo evidence of my face during contractions...

MRDCle · September 2018

sheepshepherdess said:

@kaleesi93 I hadn't thought about the fact that the doula will often stand around not doing anything. Photographer is a great idea! Though not sure I want photo evidence of my face during contractions...

The doulas I spoke with last night would take photos as well, though it sounds they'll be keeping plenty busy with myself and DH.

kaleesi93 · September 2018

@sheepshepherdess, they dont have to photograph faces of you dont want, some do videos of baby's very first moments and I think I would love that,
I think how much or how little they do depends of what kind of birth you have, some doulas have midwifery certification/liscence but choose to be a doula rather than sole responsibility for the birth especially if they have small children/busy lives!

kaitykins · September 2018

I have a doula from my first birth that I’ve requested to be present again. She is amazing.

*************************
Birth story:

I labored for 4 days (baby was askew and hitting my pelvis not my cervix) abd it was my doula that felt like we should shift baby around manually, nobody at the hospital even believed my contractions were 4min apart and that difficult. Nurses were all seeing a scared 1timer vs. my doula who had been there. Anyway. We shifted baby around with a scarf and me on hands and knees and labor continued to progress slowly. 1.5 days later the hospital agreed I should be admitted and three hrs of pushing and nearly a c-section later we had our baby girl. With bruises and blisters all over her little head from being pounded into my pelvis bone.
************************************
I don't one think I would have succeeded without my doula. She also helped with breastfeeding and postpartum soreness and such.

I’d ask her to share why she is a doula, how she sees herself in the picture of a birth.

I’d tell her what I wanted as far as advocacy, support and advice and see if we fit together.

My doula added to our education, helped me be more comfortable during 4days of labor and gave my husband skills to help when she wasn’t there. Made him feel both useful and supported too.

kangstadt · September 2018

This thread is making me want to have my doula after all. I had decided that we couldn't afford it financially right now and since it's mostly for my mental state, not the baby's or DH's, I have a hard time spending that much on it (spending money on other people is easy, on myself it's impossible for me to justify).

I really liked the doula I met with though. Sigh.

As far as questions to ask, I asked my potential doula what certification or training she had, why she went into being a doula, what her opinion is of birth experiences, etc. Basically I tried to get a feel for her energy, and how she would be a support person for us. I also brought up my DH's concern that having her there would somehow negate him (obviously it doesn't, but he felt odd about it at first before I explained better).

If I hadn't clicked with her so well, I would have an easier time saying no to her services. As is, like I said above, I'm just not sure we can financially swing it, she was great and super helpful and supportive just in the first meeting alone.

thatbaintforbetty · September 2018

@kangstadt You just hit the nail on the head about how I’m feeling regarding hiring one!

catherineclaire78 · September 2018

I thought I would weigh in just to offer some perspective. I used a doula with my first two, who were hospital births with doctors. I don’t remember what we asked during our interviews, but we picked the one we clicked with and she was well worth it. The doctors leave you alone for much of labor, so she was able to suggest things that helped (shower, tub, pressure on my back) that my husband may not have known and I believe she helped me have very fast, I medicated labors. With my third, we moved halfway across the country so I couldn’t use her again, but we had a midwife/hospital birth and the midwife was 1000x more present than the doctors so I’m not sure a doula would have been at all necessary. This is my 4th and we are using a midwife again, so I’m not doing a doula. I really loved having one as a first (especially) and second time mom.

molecularmolly · September 2018

@kangstadt @thatbaintforbetty Doula's actually aren't just got the mom! By supporting the Mom babies actually have better apgar scores (health scores) at birth and are less likely to need interventions themselves :-).
I understand the difficulty swinging it financially, we're really lucky both of our sets of parents have offered to help out with the cost. I've heard sometimes you can register for a doula for your shower and people will chip in?

@kbirchtree I love your birth story :-)

kangstadt · September 2018

@catherineclaire78, if I had a midwife I would probably feel even more sure about not using a doula, but unfortunately the hospital I go to just has a rotating staff of doctors and whoever is on call will deliver me. I'm glad you had positive experiences for your births!

@molecularmolly, I may ask family to help pitch in. I'm not sure. We've been hit with a lot of house repairs and issues this summer, plus we just got married in May, so our savings are wiped. I did know that about the Apgar scores, as well as the statistics for reduced emergency c-sections and other things. All things I pointed out to my DH when he was hesitant about the desire for one, lol.

thatbaintforbetty · September 2018

@molecularmolly I actually didn’t know that they contribute to better apgar scores. That’s fascinating. I will most likely be high risk again and not have the option of a midwife or I probably wouldn’t consider it. I would really love to go medfree this time though. I actually think it was part of the reason I had trouble breastfeeding DD. I got my epidural really late (8cm and they even topped it off later on) and had pitocin added after I had already started pushing. (But 5 hours of pushing cause she was sunny side up, they turned her over, she flipped back) DH really wasn’t much help last time(he was sick) and I don’t know how much help he’ll be this time.

I definitely will look into it more given that information. Thank you!

kaitykins · September 2018

Duolas also reduce the risk of emergency c-section.

There is is a free service to call a duola while in labor and ask for advice/coping ideas etc. I’ll see if I can find it.

molecularmolly · September 2018

@kbirchtree That's really cool, please do share when you find the number! I'm considering volunteering at a crisis pregnancy center, and I'm not sure if I'll actually be up to doulaing in the near future, so that would be a great resource to share!!

fuzzywombat · September 2018

This thread is helpful. I’m still bummed that I’m not able to use be seen by the midwifes at my hospital, so y’all have me considering hiring a doula.

mrs_nadinek · September 2018

We are! Sent the contract and down payment off today actually.

I haven't had my first appointment yet (long story since I was initially scheduled yesterday), and I've been told that the doctor I'm seeing on Monday is natural birth friendly...but I want someone else there to be a voice of reason and an advocate for my wishes.

kaitykins · September 2018

Here is the free hotline. https://www.betterbeginningsforbabies.org/in-a-pinch-doula-service/

harveyisaboysname · September 2018

How long did y’all wait to hear back from the doulas when you contacted them? It’s been two days and I haven’t heard from any of the three I’ve emailed

molecularmolly · September 2018

@harveyisaboysname You may have to give them a call, I know when I was starting a doula business I would forget to check my business email for a while sometimes :-o. When I called all the doulas picked up or called back within a day.

saraleigh2 · October 2018

I didn’t have a doula with my first, it was just my husband, my mom, our midwife and her assistant. I will definitely have a doula this time. My mother and husband took turns supporting me, but we could have used a 3rd person, my husband and mother and I were so exhausted after the birth just as a new marathon was beginning!!!! It would have been great to have someone there to take care of them (DH & mom) and give them a break. Also I would have benefited from having some one fresh to gently suggest something new... ie take a bath, get up and move etc.

loveanddatadriven · October 2018

I have no personal experience, but my 2 SILs and cousin all said that they didn't feel like they needed a birth doula because their birth team at the hospital was awesome. They said if you're not doing a hospital-type birth, than a doula might be more important. They all recommended having a postpartum doula to help with the newborn marathon after birth. With my limited funds, I think I'm going to take that route.

molecularmolly · October 2018

@loveanddatadriven Wow!!! I don't know where you are but whatever hospital they delivered at; stick with it!! I literally don't think I've ever heard of someone feeling supported by their hospital team (since my Mom's generation at least!). The standard advice is if you are going anywhere near a hospital don't be caught dead without your doula :-)

catherineclaire78 · October 2018

@loveanddatadriven Curious—did they have unmedicated births? Doctors or midwives? I would say with a midwife, it was true that she never left my side and I felt very supported (granted that labor was 45 minutes start to finish, so she didn’t really have a chance). With the doctors, those labors were still short (7 hours and 3 hours) but we were alone for 95% of it and I was very glad to have a doula. If someone wants a medicated birth and doesn’t plan to try different/alternative pain relief methods, even that limited contact may have been sufficient.

loveanddatadriven · October 2018

@molecularmolly I think it definitely depends on where you deliver! The hospitals where my loved ones delivered are committed to supporting natural pain relief with baths, bars, stools, and birthing balls and they have high staff to patient ratios so mothers aren't left alone.

@catherineclaire78 Doctors. My two SILs were both induced for high risk medical problems. They had long labors and received walking epidurals at transition, so many hours of no pain relief but the births were medicated.

lyse01 · October 2018

@loveanddatadriven I asked about water labor/birth with my first and was told it really only happens at home births in this state because the state is “too litigious” for any hospital network to get on board. I am very jealous of anyone who gets to try water as pain relief, especially since DD’s arrival at 26 weeks has guaranteed I will be delivering in hospital for every subsequent child.

molecularmolly · October 2018

@loveanddatadriven you are soooo lucky! Like unbelievably lucky to have a hospital like that near you, that's virtually unheard of, even in the Seattle area where we're all pretty crunchy about birth! I'm really afraid of being high risk because even with a doula I know I wouldn't get the same level of care in a hospital as I will at our planned home birth with a midwife and her assistant by my side through all of active labor (and a doula).

loveanddatadriven · October 2018

I haven't heard of hospital birthing centers that let you have the baby in the water, but I've heard of centers that have baths for pain relief during dilation.

MRDCle · October 2018

They recently stopped doing water births in hospitals here, but I know a couple hospitals are trying to bring it back. In all other area hospitals, as long as you are low-risk enough you can labor in a tub or a shower. We have a couple hospitals here with "holistic" birthing areas.

sfeebs13 · October 2018

We have a really great hospital here. I know that they have hydrotherapy tubs, squatting bars, and balls for labor but I am not certain if they will let you use the hydrotub for the birth. I haven't looked into a doula yet, but my acupuncture physician/teacher is going to be there to assist in any way she can.

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