UO Thursday

ladybug0088 · July 2014

MrMrsandBaby said:

bennikki said:

MrMrsandBaby said:

bennikki said:

I'm fine with young people having credit cards, but why on earth would you let your kids on your credit card?! I have excellent credit, and a credit card has nothing to do with it (student loan, SBA loan, mortgage, commercial building purchase).

Kids can do chores/general upkeep of the house at a very young age. DS (18 months old) knows to put his clothes in the hamper when he's done getting dressed, throws away anything he can find on the floor, grabs a towel when he sees something spilled on the floor, and asks to "help with cookin'" when he sees me pulling stuff out of the fridge. He won't get paid for the general expectations, but when he's older, he could earn some money by doing the occasional big tasks like, power-washing the deck, cleaning out and organizing cupboards, spring and fall lawn preparations.

Our kids will have to follow a donate, save, spend division of their money (10% gets donated to a charity of their choice, 25% gets saved in a savings account, 65% they get to spend as they want), and our kids will be getting jobs once they're old enough (around 13). DH and I both started working at 13 (I baby-sat and peeled apples at the orchard for pies and DH washed dishes at a diner), and we feel it helped set us up for success in school and out in the real world later.

I was with you until the bolded...nope...13 is still a kid. They have their whole lives to work, why start them at 13? 16, sure...but 13? In IL you can't even get a work permit that young so other than an occasional babysitting job I can't think of what they would even do.

While we had jobs at 13, it's not like we were working insane hours. I took the school bus to the apple orchard 2 days a week, and peeled apples for 2 hours each time (I was home by 5 pm). DH washed dishes on Saturday mornings from 8 am - Noon. I don't think 4-6 hours a week is asking a lot of a 13 year old, especially "now a-days" with the amount of TV/screen time kids are spending (I need to find the latest study to link, but it was alarming, especially the increase during the summer months). Most 13 year olds that I know of want to be treated like they're a whole lot older, and answering to a boss is a great way of getting there.

But I don't think a 13 year old can even get a job in IL (I think you have to be 15 to get a work permit)...so I'm cool with that!

ETA: because I was curious...13 year olds in IL can be a golf caddy! It specifically says it in the IL Child Labor Laws! random....

Plenty of my own middle school students work. There are things they can do and earn money at 12 and 13. Many babysit, mow yards, etc. I even have quite a few that do volunteer work.

I started babysitting at 11--not solo, as a "mom's helper" but got paid. I loved it! My parents never made me do it, but I just loved doing it.

I think if they want to work and it's something that is age appropriate it's totally fine. I learned an awful lot babysitting and saved 90% of the money I made until I was 18. My dad had me invest it in the stock market and I learned a lot and had fun doing it. It was a really positive experience in my life.

LightBright515 · July 2014

Jennifer18131 said:

LightBright515 said:

Why do people have to justify their opinions?

This statement combined with the gif in your sig made me giggle snort because it's exactly how I picture you.

You don't HAVE to justify your opinions, but it leaves your opinions WIDE open for critique and further comment when your opinion - on its face - is ridiculous. Everyone does not have to agree with every opinion posted, but adding background facts and/or data that explains why you have that opinion can help others to at least understand and appreciate your stance and potentially sway someone on that stance. Plus, it helps generate conversation.

Unless your opinion is based on completely fabricated "facts," of course.

And how is it that you picture me? And while I understand that facts to support what you're opinionated about are nice, "swaying" somebody's stance on an issue isn't always the goal. Nor are facts required...

Jennifer18131 · July 2014

LightBright515 said:

Jennifer18131 said:

LightBright515 said:

Why do people have to justify their opinions?

This statement combined with the gif in your sig made me giggle snort because it's exactly how I picture you.

You don't HAVE to justify your opinions, but it leaves your opinions WIDE open for critique and further comment when your opinion - on its face - is ridiculous. Everyone does not have to agree with every opinion posted, but adding background facts and/or data that explains why you have that opinion can help others to at least understand and appreciate your stance and potentially sway someone on that stance. Plus, it helps generate conversation.

Unless your opinion is based on completely fabricated "facts," of course.

And how is it that you picture me? And while I understand that facts to support what you're opinionated about are nice, "swaying" somebody's stance on an issue isn't always the goal. Nor are facts required...

Reading comprehension.

trisharenee0316 · July 2014

jalara48 said:
Those threads were created in response to the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding thread. Do you remember that one? I think you might.

They were created to stand as a long-standing reference for board members for references. Facts and resources in one place from multiple resources. And yes - free from discussion.

We have a unique opportunity to create threads that can actually benefit and support our members here and not only serve for dramatic entertainment.

No, I can not control what members post - but I can certainly try to keep those 2 threads to their intended purpose.

That's all it is. But as the mod with some who already don't like how I do things, I think it's totally understandable - and even foreseeable - that that would be perceived by some as me asserting control no matter what the intention. That's okay though - most of us know why it was done and it's not a big deal.

Thanks for having my back ladies! I was napping

Well, as I pointed out in that thread, there were others offering opinions too, but because I disagreed with you (or at least your reading of the source cited), I was the one who was told to not offer antecdotes [sic], and only offer facts and resources. I don't know if you went back, but I did provide two additional links, including one from the same site you originally cited, which support what I said in the first place. That's why a discussion is helpful and telling people not to share is silly because the information you gave was not necessarily accurate.

Free from discussion is kind of a stupid requirement for a thread on a message board, especially a thread that's not even pinned so not sure how it would serve as a long term resource. I could get behind free from personal attacks or free from drama, but just pasting a bunch of links with no context is odd.

Kendrav4 · July 2014

.

MrMrsandBaby · July 2014

savagek7 said:

I don't mind McDonald's fries when they're not mushy, but I HATE Arby's curly fries. DH and I put Arby's on our "black list" for about 2 years because the fries are so bad. It's only coming off now so that we can try their new Roast Beef & Bacon sandwich on a Hawaiian bun.

What?! No...just...no!

lrobi13 · July 2014

Right, I take a trip to the doctor and all craziness cuts loose over here. I've got nothing to say other than "huh?"

Was that real life?

JessAnnJ · July 2014

I wasn't going to get involved in this, but @crystal8503‌ is now banned. Really? Now the ban hammer is coming down.

Emerald27 · July 2014

Wow. Today's UO kinda makes me sad. I love @jalara48‌ and think she always does her very best to be a good mod. I'd be fine with having a second mod, though, if for no other reason than to take some of the heat off jalara!

Re chores: DS thinks helping me clean is super fun. He'll go to town on my kitchen cabinets with a spray bottle of water and paper towels, and he has so much fun sorting the silverware (sharp knives removed by mommy). He will put away his toys before leaving a room without complaint, as long as I'm straightening up something too. AND he has his own broom that he pushes around while I sweep.

IMO, there's no reason for "chores" to have to be "work" for little kids. Instilling good habits can be as much fun as actually playing.

Not that you guys were saying it had to be work and not fun, but I thought it was worth mentioning because I've found that my attitude about certain activities strongly influences the way DS perceives them. If I'm having fun with the housework, he will too!

And I love all the fries!!!

trisharenee0316 · July 2014

jalara48 said:

Let it be said now - for the record - when an issue involves the moderator of a board it is handled by another moderator. Therefore, if an issue involves me on a board I moderate I do not handle the situation.

This is true. However, issues are given to the mod board and there's nothing saying that the friend of a mod or someone who knows her from time on another board on TB won't handle the situation. Not totally impartial, IMO, but that's more of an issue of the way TB handles things.

trisharenee0316 · July 2014

HiCan said:

What is the reasoning behind Crystal getting banned?

Honestly I don't think this will get answered because it will be said to be personal information.

trisharenee0316 · July 2014

jalara48 said:

trisharenee0316 said:

jalara48 said:

Let it be said now - for the record - when an issue involves the moderator of a board it is handled by another moderator. Therefore, if an issue involves me on a board I moderate I do not handle the situation.

This is true. However, issues are given to the mod board and there's nothing saying that the friend of a mod or someone who knows her from time on another board on TB won't handle the situation. Not totally impartial, IMO, but that's more of an issue of the way TB handles things.

Yes, this is a common theory on the boards.

Or it's what happened in this case. Since the mod who gave Crystal a warning yesterday for her last comment in the Formula Resources thread is the mod of 3T and someone with whom you're friends (since as of last check, you were the most recent comment on her TB wall).

JessAnnJ · July 2014

I can handle a lot of things on the bump. I do not care how many love it's I have or if people like me. I don't mind differing opinions or disagreements. But, the banning has totally crossed the line into ridiculousness. @crystal8503‌ has been a member of the bump for a long time and has contributed a lot to this board. I understand the need to sometimes ban someone, but i don't remember people getting banned so easily on DD's BMB. I don't remember the moderator asking people to vote to close a post they started. I don't remember the moderator asking people to limit their opinions on certain
threads. I'm extremely disappointed that the bump has come to this.

duckr · July 2014

What was the rule @crystal8503 broke to get banned? I've looked through her posts and I don't see where the issue is other than what appears to be a personal one.

pnwlover12 · July 2014

trisharenee0316 said:

jalara48 said:

trisharenee0316 said:

jalara48 said:

Let it be said now - for the record - when an issue involves the moderator of a board it is handled by another moderator. Therefore, if an issue involves me on a board I moderate I do not handle the situation.

This is true. However, issues are given to the mod board and there's nothing saying that the friend of a mod or someone who knows her from time on another board on TB won't handle the situation. Not totally impartial, IMO, but that's more of an issue of the way TB handles things.

Yes, this is a common theory on the boards.

Or it's what happened in this case. Since the mod who gave Crystal a warning yesterday for her last comment in the Formula Resources thread is the mod of 3T and someone with whom you're friends (since as of last check, you were the most recent comment on her TB wall).

What was the warning? I'm assuming you know because crystal mentioned it on the fb group?
Also, Crystal was extremely antagonistic in the FF thread towards Jalara. I'm not saying she should have been banned for it, but goddamn.

femail · July 2014

duckr said:

What was the rule @crystal8503 broke to get banned? I've looked through her posts and I don't see where the issue is other than what appears to be a personal one.

I'm curious too. I'm so confused why she got banned. I feel as though she's always been someone to contribute in a positive way on these boards.

trisharenee0316 · July 2014

pnwlover12 said:
What was the warning? I'm assuming you know because crystal mentioned it on the fb group?
Also, Crystal was extremely antagonistic in the FF thread towards Jalara. I'm not saying she should have been banned for it, but goddamn.

Not everything revolves around the FB group. That's such a conspiracy! Crystal and I are friends from our prior BMB and she told me she got a warning via PM from someone, and at first she didn't realize the person was a mod until she looked up the member name. I can't speak to all the specifics of the PM, but she did convey to me that the message was that she needed to cool it with Jalara.

pnwlover12 · July 2014

trisharenee0316 said:

pnwlover12 said:
What was the warning? I'm assuming you know because crystal mentioned it on the fb group?
Also, Crystal was extremely antagonistic in the FF thread towards Jalara. I'm not saying she should have been banned for it, but goddamn.

Not everything revolves around the FB group. That's such a conspiracy! Crystal and I are friends from our prior BMB and she told me she got a warning via PM from someone, and at first she didn't realize the person was a mod until she looked up the member name. I can't speak to all the specifics of the PM, but she did convey to me that the message was that she needed to cool it with Jalara.

Well jeez, I don't know who you are friends with on here. The FB group is the only connection I know of and I couldn't find a "warning" in the thread anywhere. That's why I asked.

I 100% agree that she should have "cooled" it. I feel like every time I saw crystal post it was some snarky bs directed at Jalara. People may not like our mod, but if it was our mod who was acting like crystal, and constantly harassing a poster, would you not have been upset abuot that? Why is it the mod has to put up with it?

pnwlover12 · July 2014

Nicb13 said:

WTAF happened while I was gone?! I posted in the formula thread and didn't get banned or a warning. Guess I'm safe for now!

You said your piece and that was that. I'll riot if you get banned!

trisharenee0316 · July 2014

pnwlover12 said:
Well jeez, I don't know who you are friends with on here. The FB group is the only connection I know of and I couldn't find a "warning" in the thread anywhere. That's why I asked.

I 100% agree that she should have "cooled" it. I feel like every time I saw crystal post it was some snarky bs directed at Jalara. People may not like our mod, but if it was our mod who was acting like crystal, and constantly harassing a poster, would you not have been upset abuot that? Why is it the mod has to put up with it?

I was just joking about the conspiracy part. I should have put a smiley face. Here.

And that's accurate, but her comments in that thread weren't why she got banned. It was just a warning given. Whomever the mod is who responds to reports only sees the one post reported, not a long history of back and forth. If you take any of the posts just at face value in that thread with no backstory, it doesn't seem like it would be warning-worthy IMO.

But like I said, that thread wasn't why she got banned so I honestly have no clue what put her over the edge. And neither does she.

Justabean3 · July 2014

The problem is if you make one person "cool it" you need to make all of them "cool it". There are so many threads where people get nasty (flame) each other and a band wagon party begins. It is perfectly acceptable to some... It goes on and on for pages and pages.

So I don't see it's justified to ban anyone unless they directly break a rule. It seems the issue was acting on much more quickly because a moderator was involved. I also don't think the way either of you particularly were handling yourself is cool either yet only one of you were banned.

Uncool

JessAnnJ · July 2014

pnwlover12 said:

trisharenee0316 said:

pnwlover12 said:

What was the warning? I'm assuming you know because crystal mentioned it on the fb group?
Also, Crystal was extremely antagonistic in the FF thread towards Jalara. I'm not saying she should have been banned for it, but goddamn.

Not everything revolves around the FB group. That's such a conspiracy! Crystal and I are friends from our prior BMB and she told me she got a warning via PM from someone, and at first she didn't realize the person was a mod until she looked up the member name. I can't speak to all the specifics of the PM, but she did convey to me that the message was that she needed to cool it with Jalara.

Well jeez, I don't know who you are friends with on here. The FB group is the only connection I know of and I couldn't find a "warning" in the thread anywhere. That's why I asked.

I 100% agree that she should have "cooled" it. I feel like every time I saw crystal post it was some snarky bs directed at Jalara. People may not like our mod, but if it was our mod who was acting like crystal, and constantly harassing a poster, would you not have been upset abuot that? Why is it the mod has to put up with it?

---END QUOTE---

I didn't see anything harassing. I disagree with the last point as well. This would never had happened if her comments were directed at someone else.

pnwlover12 · July 2014

Justabean3 said:

The problem is if you make one person "cool it" you need to make all of them "cool it". There are so many threads where people get nasty (flame) each other and a band wagon party begins. It is perfectly acceptable to some... It goes on and on for pages and pages. So I don't see it's justified to ban anyone unless they directly break a rule. It seems the issue was acting on much more quickly because a moderator was involved. I also don't think the way either of you particularly were handling yourself is cool either yet only one of you were banned. Uncool

And it typically ends in that thread. I can't recall another example of someone going above and beyond in multiple threads to point out how much they don't like another poster, or calling them out constantly.

From my view, it seemed like Crystal had a vendetta. I don't know what her deal was with Jalara, or where her problem stemmed initially from.

But I also don't agree that she was totally banned. I think she should have just shut her trap, because even I found her relentless comments/attacks annoying.

JessAnnJ · July 2014

@trisharenee0316‌ tell her there are people that think this is ridiculous. I will definitely be contacting the bump administrators when I get home and can get on my computer.

hgielrebmik · July 2014

And enough of that............FRIES! French fries for everyone! Lets just eat our fries and be happy. Yumm....fries and ice cream....even better.

MrsSinner402 · July 2014

I dont think that what we saw was ban worthy either, but that doesn't mean that possibly the PMs between her and the other mod didnt get particularly nasty or something along those lines? Just a thought, since what we can all see is clearly not grounds for banning. I'm thinking maybe that's the case here? If we don't know the full story and reason for the banning, we can't really fully complain to TB gods. I didn't care for the things she said, but I definitely didnt SEE anything ban worthy. I guess we will never know?

golfingdarwinfish · July 2014

Apparently I missed quite a bit while traveling..... Where the heck do I begin?!?!?!

JessAnnJ · July 2014

MrsSinner402 said:
I dont think that what we saw was ban worthy either, but that doesn't mean that possibly the PMs between her and the other mod didnt get particularly nasty or something along those lines? Just a thought, since what we can all see is clearly not grounds for banning. I'm thinking maybe that's the case here? If we don't know the full story and reason for the banning, we can't really fully complain to TB gods. I didn't care for the things she said, but I definitely didnt SEE anything ban worthy. I guess we will never know?

Yes, but my concern is that since we don't know that it's not that, and there is no way to find out otherwise, if we don't complain about what we did see nobody will look into it further.

fireflyrebirth · July 2014

What the whaaaat happened here?

golfingdarwinfish · July 2014

MrsSinner402 said:

I dont think that what we saw was ban worthy either, but that doesn't mean that possibly the PMs between her and the other mod didnt get particularly nasty or something along those lines? Just a thought, since what we can all see is clearly not grounds for banning. I'm thinking maybe that's the case here? If we don't know the full story and reason for the banning, we can't really fully complain to TB gods. I didn't care for the things she said, but I definitely didnt SEE anything ban worthy. I guess we will never know?

I thought that PMs are not subject to TOU (though as part of TOU you cannot publically share info exchanged in PMs), similar to social groups? Someone please correct me if I'm wrong....

MrsSinner402 · July 2014

JessAnnJ said:

MrsSinner402 said:
I dont think that what we saw was ban worthy either, but that doesn't mean that possibly the PMs between her and the other mod didnt get particularly nasty or something along those lines? Just a thought, since what we can all see is clearly not grounds for banning. I'm thinking maybe that's the case here? If we don't know the full story and reason for the banning, we can't really fully complain to TB gods. I didn't care for the things she said, but I definitely didnt SEE anything ban worthy. I guess we will never know?
Yes, but my concern is that since we don't know that it's not that, and there is no way to find out otherwise, if we don't complain about what we did see nobody will look into it further.

I have faith that the mods are moderated by someone as well, and there was probably a legit reason for the banning. I'm not going to get all huffy over something that I have no facts on. I trust that the banning happened for more than what we saw or can see.

Jennifer18131 · July 2014

golfingdarwinfish said:
Apparently I missed quite a bit while traveling..... Where the heck do I begin?!?!?!

Do you like fries and tots?

trisharenee0316 · July 2014

MrsSinner402 said:

I dont think that what we saw was ban worthy either, but that doesn't mean that possibly the PMs between her and the other mod didnt get particularly nasty or something along those lines? Just a thought, since what we can all see is clearly not grounds for banning. I'm thinking maybe that's the case here? If we don't know the full story and reason for the banning, we can't really fully complain to TB gods. I didn't care for the things she said, but I definitely didnt SEE anything ban worthy. I guess we will never know?

I do know that Crystal ended up blocking the other mod because she was tired of the back and forth with her. And then received a PM this morning from a friend of THAT mod telling her she would be banned from TB if she didn't unblock that mod. She unblocked the mod, but as far as I know, she didn't have any further interaction with her. So it has to be something that happened today.

trisharenee0316 · July 2014

JessAnnJ said:

@trisharenee0316‌ tell her there are people that think this is ridiculous. I will definitely be contacting the bump administrators when I get home and can get on my computer.

I will! I know that she and Jalara were definitely oil and water for several reasons, but Crystal is a really good person, very supportive and kind, and I don't think she deserved this unceremonious boot from TB at all.

MrsSinner402 · July 2014

Jennifer18131 said:

golfingdarwinfish said:
Apparently I missed quite a bit while traveling..... Where the heck do I begin?!?!?!
Do you like fries and tots?

I love you.

Jennifer18131 · July 2014

MrsSinner402 said:

Jennifer18131 said:

golfingdarwinfish said:
Apparently I missed quite a bit while traveling..... Where the heck do I begin?!?!?!
Do you like fries and tots?
I love you.

Smooches

MrsSinner402 · July 2014

Jennifer18131 said:

MrsSinner402 said:

Jennifer18131 said:

golfingdarwinfish said:
Apparently I missed quite a bit while traveling..... Where the heck do I begin?!?!?!
Do you like fries and tots?
I love you.
Smooches

$:\$ ">

MrsSinner402 · July 2014

Nicb13 said:

MrsSinner402 said:

Apparently I missed quite a bit while traveling..... Where the heck do I begin?!?!?!
Do you like fries and tots?

I love you.Smooches:\"> I've been replaced because I hate fries. Shit.

Shhh... ~:> No one will replace you.

trisharenee0316 · July 2014

I need to make a post-it of all the tots haters. Hate fries all you want, but tots are amazing. I'm a little sad for those of you who don't understand their magic.

MrsSinner402 · July 2014

trisharenee0316 said:
I need to make a post-it of all the tots haters. Hate fries all you want, but tots are amazing. I'm a little sad for those of you who don't understand their magic.

LOL we are exact opposite. I dont HATE tots, I just wouldn't choose them is all.

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