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October 2014 Moms
HeeeEEEeeeey
Hey girls,
I've been told I was asked about, so I figured I'd stop by and give an update. I'm so sorry that I haven't been around much... or at all really. Life has gotten beyond crazy so I'll be as brief about it as possible. On top of work being crazy, we made the decision in May to move, so that has been a trip and a half. We're building from the ground up, and It looks like our house will be on site the first part of October, but we won't have power until January (wooooo), so it's been stressful to plan, to say the very least.
Also, on a very personal note, I've been going through a really horrible depression. I've avoided coming here, because to be honest, I am fragile on the subject of my pregnancy. I feel very cynical and negative, not because I don't want another baby, but because I am very worried that I won't be able to handle one. There has been a lot of guilt and fear involved.
With all of the excitement and anticipation going on here, I feel out of place. To be blunt, I have been suicidal at times, and my doctors up until very recently have been reluctant to put me on antidepressants. Thankfully I will finally be receiving help from a psychiatrist soon, so I have hope that things will improve. It's a very very difficult thing to admit something like this to a group of women, most of which will probably never understand the mindset behind not wanting to exist when I have so much to be happy for, so I'm going to leave it at that. I am getting as much help as I can, and I do not have any intent to hurt myself... but it has still been very hard.
So that's why I've distanced myself. I'm sorry for being MIA, I would really love to come back more frequently, because I miss this group. I'm going to reserve the right to DD this if I need to, since I'm going back and forth on whether or not I should post it at all.
I've been told I was asked about, so I figured I'd stop by and give an update. I'm so sorry that I haven't been around much... or at all really. Life has gotten beyond crazy so I'll be as brief about it as possible. On top of work being crazy, we made the decision in May to move, so that has been a trip and a half. We're building from the ground up, and It looks like our house will be on site the first part of October, but we won't have power until January (wooooo), so it's been stressful to plan, to say the very least.
Also, on a very personal note, I've been going through a really horrible depression. I've avoided coming here, because to be honest, I am fragile on the subject of my pregnancy. I feel very cynical and negative, not because I don't want another baby, but because I am very worried that I won't be able to handle one. There has been a lot of guilt and fear involved.
With all of the excitement and anticipation going on here, I feel out of place. To be blunt, I have been suicidal at times, and my doctors up until very recently have been reluctant to put me on antidepressants. Thankfully I will finally be receiving help from a psychiatrist soon, so I have hope that things will improve. It's a very very difficult thing to admit something like this to a group of women, most of which will probably never understand the mindset behind not wanting to exist when I have so much to be happy for, so I'm going to leave it at that. I am getting as much help as I can, and I do not have any intent to hurt myself... but it has still been very hard.
So that's why I've distanced myself. I'm sorry for being MIA, I would really love to come back more frequently, because I miss this group. I'm going to reserve the right to DD this if I need to, since I'm going back and forth on whether or not I should post it at all.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: HeeeEEEeeeey
I'm happy you are getting some help with your depression, I can't even imagine what you are going through but I hope you can start feeling better soon. Lots of internet hugs coming to you.
Good luck with the house too!!
Emma Rose - 9.14.05 Beckett - 5.26.07 Sawyer - 9.22.12 Lennon Mae - 9.26.14
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
Me: 34 DH: 34
TTC since Jan '13
BFP#1 - EDD 3/24/14 - d&c 7w5d
BFP#2 - EDD 6/14/14 - cp 4w2d
BFP#3 - EDD 10/28/14 - It's a BOY!!! - Born 10/26/14
I can relate to the depression and am happy to hear that you are getting to help you need.
Yes antidepressants can effect the baby just like any medication can. But if they are helping you the by all means go for it. I tried getting off mine when I got the BFP and checked in with my OB. But soon found out I was going down a slippery slope. So back on them I went. My OB has been of the team that if they help me more then anything else then be on them. Happy momma, will bring a happy and healthy baby in to this world.
Thank you for sharing, It takes a lot to do that. Just know that we will support you in anyway we can.
If you want to talk more with me about depression and my experience to compare notes. You can PM me.
I also have been depressed during my pregnancy, and started seeing a therapist, that has been helpful. But I'm with you, it is hard to talk to people about it when something so magical is going on in your life (especailly because this has been 4 years and 3 losses in the making for me) I haven't really talked to anyone about it besides DH.
((HUGS))
BFP #1 05/16/10 EDD 01/13/11 natural m/c 11w1d (unknown cause)
BFP #2 03/24/11 EDD 12/06/11 missed m/c D&C 10w (Triploidy xxx)
BFP #3 12/24/11 EDD 09/02/12 missed m/c D&C 10w4d (Triploidy xxx)
BFP #4 02/10/14 EDD 10/19/14 - Baby boy made his arrival 10/02/14!
BFP #5 05/08/15 EDD 01/19/16 C/P 05/14/15
BFP #6 06/05/15 EDD 02/18/16 *It's a GIRL!!*
My Blog My Chart
We are happy to hear that you are taking the steps to getting help for yourself. T&P all around!
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