October 2014 Moms

***UO Thursday***

Let's hear all those unpopular opinions.



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Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
Me: 38 DH: 36
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018


«13456

Re: ***UO Thursday***

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  • Hahaha, mine is also related to fast food.

    I think McDonald's fries are terrible. I always hear how they have the best fries and I really don't think so. They are always too soft and never seasoned correctly.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Me: 38 DH: 36
    Married 8/27/2011
    BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
    BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
    BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
    BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
    BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
    BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018


  • I miss McDonald's carrot sticks. They were crunchy and juicy and no one remembers they existed, but me. I love their fries though girl. Don't be hating on those fries.

    FTM - BFP: 1/23/14 - EDD: 10/5/14 - DD Born 9/13/14

  • vrj0522 said:

    Hahaha, mine is also related to fast food.


    I think McDonald's fries are terrible. I always hear how they have the best fries and I really don't think so. They are always too soft and never seasoned correctly.
    My favorite fries were always from Hot N' Now. I don't think that chain even exists anymore. But its only 10am and now I want fries. Dammit.






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  • vrj0522 said:
    Hahaha, mine is also related to fast food.

    I think McDonald's fries are terrible. I always hear how they have the best fries and I really don't think so. They are always too soft and never seasoned correctly.
    More for me!
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  • Mmmmm fries. 

    For fast food chains, BK has the best.
    BabyFruit Ticker


  • FamousEa said:

    Seems to be unpopular IRL here:

    I think kids are capable of, and should have, chores starting around 3-4 years old. Age appropriate, of course.  Start with something like 5-10 of picking up toys at the end of the day.  Nothing huge. 

    Yup. We seriously slacked on having older DD do chores- we did everything for her and now we are paying for it. She's getting better and she has a set amount of chores, but with DD2 we have her help is pick up toys, she loves to help feed the pets, anything she can throw away she is excited about. We also don't pay for chores, I feel like as a household you shouldn't be paid for doing something that needs to be done and should be shared by everyone. No one pays me to do the dishes..
    My mom gives DD a dollar to put in her bank over there when DD helps dust and do chores.  My mom totally puts DD to work when she babysits.  DD loves it though - she was upset last week after I picked her up from there because she and Nana didn't have time that day to clean the windowsills on the porch.

    Meanwhile, my ILs give DD at least $5 to put in her bank over there every single time we visit, just for fun.

    I don't see a problem with kids getting an allowance, I think it helps them learn to manage money appropriately and to appreciate what things cost.
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  • As far as the chores thing, I want my kids to learn to take care of their own stuff (picking up toys, making beds, helping with own laundry) and contributing to the family (helping cook, clean common areas, yard work, etc).  I don't think I want to pay for these kinds of things because I want to instill the idea that we're all on a team and it's everyone's responsibility to help out.  Like, look, there are non-monetary rewards if we all pull our weight (less stress, more family time, etc).

    I do want to teach my kids about handling money too.  I'm still not 100% on how we'll handle that.  I need to do some research...but obviously I've got time.
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  • apk4 said:
    Ooh, a UO here IRL is that I have no desire to see the 50 Shades of Grey movie and I think it is past it's popularity surge. Two years ago, maybe. But now? I have no desire.
    Did you see the preview?  My husband sent me a text this morning saying he will be seeing this with me...lol
    imageLilypie - Personal pictureLilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I don't see the big deal with family members in the waiting room during labor & delivery. I absolutely understand not wanting them IN the room during L&D and waiting for [insert mom's comfortable zone] some time before meeting baby and seeing mom, but if the family/friends want to wait for 343 hours in the uncomfortable chairs in the waiting room, that's on them. 

    I've sat for 12+ hours in a waiting room while my BFF was in labor. Didn't bother me one bit because I wanted to be there for the nurse to tell me that everyone was happy and healthy. And God help me if I tell my parents or ILs that they can't come to the hospital until a few hours after birth. 
    My only concern with this is my MIL trying to slip into the delivery room, or having her hovering around me if I'm walking the halls or whatever to help move things along. I love her, but she is one of those people who can be too much (cries at everything/overly emotional) and I don't want to deal with her while I'm in labor. I'm going to rely heavily on the L&D nurses to do double duty as bouncers at the delivery room door! 

    **stuck in the fucking box**

    Definitely do that! 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    ::two chest pumps and a peace sign for Jenn:: ~ MrsJudgeyPants 

    This is legal advice. Circa 2011 image
  • ss265ss265 member
    I don't see the big deal with family members in the waiting room during labor & delivery. I absolutely understand not wanting them IN the room during L&D and waiting for [insert mom's comfortable zone] some time before meeting baby and seeing mom, but if the family/friends want to wait for 343 hours in the uncomfortable chairs in the waiting room, that's on them. 

    I've sat for 12+ hours in a waiting room while my BFF was in labor. Didn't bother me one bit because I wanted to be there for the nurse to tell me that everyone was happy and healthy. And God help me if I tell my parents or ILs that they can't come to the hospital until a few hours after birth.

    When I was in labor, there was no one at the hospital except for DH and me. My Mom who was staying with us at the time was left at home when we went to the hospital.

    I think it all depends on the temperament of the people in the waiting room and how you feel about them being there. I would have felt guilty if anyone was sitting in the waiting room and would have felt compelled to let them "visit" me in L&D. Knowing this, we purposely told our families that we wanted to be alone in the hospital so we didn't feel that pressure to include when I was in labor.

    We left my Mom at our house because she tends to panic easily and we didn't want to spend time calming her down. Her being there also would have added stress to L&D. Even if she had just been in the waiting room, DH would have felt the need to check in on her periodically and give her updates which would have distracted him. I did call her every hour to let her know what was going on so she was informed.

    It was also important to both DH and me that we have time as a family of three prior to seeing any visitors. DS was born at 9pm via C-section and if family was in the waiting room, we would have felt bad making them wait 1-2 more given that he was born so late at night.

    At the end of the day, you know your family and only you can make the decision if you want them there. In our situation, everyone was very understanding and gave us the space we needed/desired for DS's delivery. My Mom actually preferred not to be at the hospital because she recognized that she would have been a distraction.

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  • ss265 said:

    My UO is that I don't think you NEED a glider for the nursery. I am all for having some sort of chair to sit in but I think you can easily repurpose another chair that you might already have rather than specifically buying a glider.

    I have terrible motion sickness and couldn't sit in a glider so I just used a chair we already had. I might feel differently if I could actually use a glider. ;)


    ************************

    ARGH stuck in the box! 

    I didn't have room for a glider... I nursed in my living on the couch ( legs up on the ottoman) or in my bed with no problems.


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  • ss265 said:
    I don't see the big deal with family members in the waiting room during labor & delivery. I absolutely understand not wanting them IN the room during L&D and waiting for [insert mom's comfortable zone] some time before meeting baby and seeing mom, but if the family/friends want to wait for 343 hours in the uncomfortable chairs in the waiting room, that's on them. 

    I've sat for 12+ hours in a waiting room while my BFF was in labor. Didn't bother me one bit because I wanted to be there for the nurse to tell me that everyone was happy and healthy. And God help me if I tell my parents or ILs that they can't come to the hospital until a few hours after birth.

    When I was in labor, there was no one at the hospital except for DH and me. My Mom who was staying with us at the time was left at home when we went to the hospital.

    I think it all depends on the temperament of the people in the waiting room and how you feel about them being there. I would have felt guilty if anyone was sitting in the waiting room and would have felt compelled to let them "visit" me in L&D. Knowing this, we purposely told our families that we wanted to be alone in the hospital so we didn't feel that pressure to include when I was in labor.

    We left my Mom at our house because she tends to panic easily and we didn't want to spend time calming her down. Her being there also would have added stress to L&D. Even if she had just been in the waiting room, DH would have felt the need to check in on her periodically and give her updates which would have distracted him. I did call her every hour to let her know what was going on so she was informed.

    It was also important to both DH and me that we have time as a family of three prior to seeing any visitors. DS was born at 9pm via C-section and if family was in the waiting room, we would have felt bad making them wait 1-2 more given that he was born so late at night.

    At the end of the day, you know your family and only you can make the decision if you want them there. In our situation, everyone was very understanding and gave us the space we needed/desired for DS's delivery. My Mom actually preferred not to be at the hospital because she recognized that she would have been a distraction.

    re: the bolded - I don't see it as you "making them wait." They are in the waiting room hanging around until the wee hours of the morning because they WANT to be there. 

    I definitely don't disagree with anyone not telling family until after birth or asking everyone to stay home because I understand what you're saying about feeling obligated to visit with them. Andplusalso, that's each person's decision and not up for debates from internet strangers. 
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    ::two chest pumps and a peace sign for Jenn:: ~ MrsJudgeyPants 

    This is legal advice. Circa 2011 image

  • apk4 said:
    Ooh, a UO here IRL is that I have no desire to see the 50 Shades of Grey movie and I think it is past it's popularity surge. Two years ago, maybe. But now? I have no desire.
    We were legit just talking about this at work and my two co-workers looked at me like I had two heads when I said I had no desire to see it.  I read the first book and never picked up the second.  WTF is the big deal about it?  Seriously?
    I think the actors chosen seem weird. That man is good looking but I don't find him particularly intriguing or striking. I found the guy to have his "moments" but for the most part I thought this is shocking? How vanilla is your sex life?
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  • Di_126 said:

    As far as the chores thing, I want my kids to learn to take care of their own stuff (picking up toys, making beds, helping with own laundry) and contributing to the family (helping cook, clean common areas, yard work, etc).  I don't think I want to pay for these kinds of things because I want to instill the idea that we're all on a team and it's everyone's responsibility to help out.  Like, look, there are non-monetary rewards if we all pull our weight (less stress, more family time, etc).

    I do want to teach my kids about handling money too.  I'm still not 100% on how we'll handle that.  I need to do some research...but obviously I've got time.
    This, exactly.

    I am for raising my DDs to pick up after themselves and to be active participants in the household.  I never had "chores" but my sisters and I definitely did a lot around the house.  It's just what you did, and it wasn't a big deal.  My parents were good about setting the example.

    DD already knows that you pick up one activity before moving to the next.  She also loves putting things in bins currently, so that helps.  If I say, "do you want to go to the park?" and she's building with blocks, she'll start putting them away.  I don't have to tell her that's what she needs to do.  She just starts doing it, and she's not even two.  To me, that's better than giving her a chore in a couple years to basically do the same thing.  Instill it from the beginning and you're good to go.

    I think it goes hand in hand with manners.  You don't watch someone slave over something without offering help.  We helped cook, cleaned, did laundry, helped with the garden, etc. and I am sure we would have been embarrassed watching either of our parents doing any of those tasks without helping out.  I think this mentality carries over to adulthood and other facets of life, like the workplace.  It's more important that chores IMO.
    I don't plan on paying them for picking up after their own selves, i.e. picking up their toys, keeping their room clean, etc.

    However, as they get older I will pay them to mow the lawn, help out in the family areas with dusting, etc.



  • Re: kids/chores/manners, I found a book called Duct Tape Parenting that's basically about raising kids to be "respectful, responsible, and resilient." It has a whole chapter on not becoming your kid's maid. This speaks to me.

    Confession, I haven't actually read the book yet. I skimmed parts, and DH is reading it right now. He says in theory it sounds great, but the advice is basically, don't reprimand/lecture/threaten, and instead keep your mouth shut and parent in a way that kids learn the lesson on their own. 

    An example would be, kid not eating because they're being picky about what's for dinner? Rather than nagging them to eat, or bribing or whatever, let them go to bed hungry. They'll learn on their own, without you having to waste energy chiding them, that it's best to eat dinner next time.

    In practice, this approach probably works great in some circumstances, but would be harder or almost impossible in others, like if your kid isn't getting ready for school on time. You just let them be late? That's what the author suggests, I think.

    Like I said, haven't read it yet, but point is I got the book because I'm in the same camp as PPs. IMO kids, when old enough, should contribute and learn what goes into keeping a household humming along. I won't pay my kid/kids to do this. Maybe later, for things that are clearly "extras," like, I don't know, painting the house or something. 

    But I do agree with the PP who said it's also important to teach kids about money/financial responsibility. It seems that a good way to do that is with an allowance, so I haven't totally figured that part out yet, either.


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  • ss265ss265 member
    Regarding financial responsibility, a college friend told me that her parents made her keep track of where she was spending all her money when she was in college. They gave her however much she needed but just asked that she keep track of it. I thought that was genius and plan to have my kids do that too.

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  • One of my friends, starting in middle or high school, got a certain amount of money from her parents periodically and then had to budget for all non-survival expenses, including clothes and toiletries.
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  • On the financial note, my UO is that my kids are totally getting credit cards in high school. I said this last week when I was out with friends and got lambasted. But two of them also had to have parents cosign for cars despite being in their mid-late 20s because they don't have the credit history. I totally appreciate my parents giving me a cc instead of cash for things when I was young.
    I didn't get one until college and it was strictly for gas (Phillips66 CC) 
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  • femailfemail member
    On the financial note, my UO is that my kids are totally getting credit cards in high school. I said this last week when I was out with friends and got lambasted. But two of them also had to have parents cosign for cars despite being in their mid-late 20s because they don't have the credit history. I totally appreciate my parents giving me a cc instead of cash for things when I was young.
    My parents added me to their credit account when I was in high school. It was a citi card that they used on a regular basis, and I was only allowed to use mine in an emergency. I was always really good at always having a $20 bill in my ash tray for gas, so I never used it, but I had amazing credit starting out on my own because of them. I'm definitely doing this for my kid(s)!
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  • As far as the chores thing, I want my kids to learn to take care of their own stuff (picking up toys, making beds, helping with own laundry) and contributing to the family (helping cook, clean common areas, yard work, etc).  I don't think I want to pay for these kinds of things because I want to instill the idea that we're all on a team and it's everyone's responsibility to help out.  Like, look, there are non-monetary rewards if we all pull our weight (less stress, more family time, etc).

    I do want to teach my kids about handling money too.  I'm still not 100% on how we'll handle that.  I need to do some research...but obviously I've got time.
    I Love this!! I think of my DH and I as a team, and we both have to contribute to run our household and want our children to learn the same.  Love that philosophy :)
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  • Re: Family in the l&d waiting room. My mom would make random appearances into my room and dd and my nurse would keep having to find ways to nicely escort her back out. Or they'd keep calling Dh out to relay messages to me. It was overwhelming. I had a far more comfortable experience when we lived in Boston and Sophie came early so nobody was there. Just me and DH and that's how I like it.

    My UO: ketchup, mustard, mayo and pretty much all spreadable everyday condiments are gross. This UO brought to you by the dry hot dog and bun I'm about to eat for lunch.
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