Co-sleeping and bed sharing

JmeJoLee83 · July 2014

Everyone gives me such a hard time about letting my LO fall asleep on my chest in out bed. There are times that this is the only way we can all get some sleep. Most nights we swaddle him and move him to the crib when he is asleep. But lots of times we go a few hour stretch of bed sharing. I figure he won't be this little forever. Am I setting myself up for a hard time later on? STM what's your take on this? Do you co-sleep, bed share, or is your LO independently sleeping at night?

zolastele · July 2014

DS starts out in his bassinet next to our bed, but usually I pull him into bed with us around 5 am when he starts to fuss and he goes right back to sleep (and so do I!)

rainbowdashh · July 2014

We bed share after a certain point in the middle of the night. I put her down to sleep alone at first so I can have some time to myself. But bed sharing is really the only way we both sleep well. When H goes to work I sleep with my toddler and baby.

MNOpea · July 2014

We co sleep and bed share, all depends on how he's sleeping/how I will maximize my sleep

ricecakes1216 · July 2014

C sleeps in his bassinet at the end of our bed. When H leaves and C becomes fussy I'll bring him to bed and cuddle. It's the highlight of my morning. If h is in bed, C stays in his bassinet because I have a fear of him getting squished.

lest12 · July 2014

zolastele said:

DS starts out in his bassinet next to our bed, but usually I pull him into bed with us around 5 am when he starts to fuss and he goes right back to sleep (and so do I!)

This.

sm623 · July 2014

LO starts out in her PNP, but that only lasts an hour or two if that. After changing and feeding her we try to put her back in it, but that doesn't always work. So she usually ends up in our bed after the first or second stretch of sleep.

jenlynne0624 · July 2014

I pull h into bed w me around his 5 or 6 am feed, whichever it is that day. I'll side nurse humans then we usually pass out together and get awesome sleep. He takes his afternoon nap on my chest and I nap w him too that's on the couch.

Damnliz · July 2014

Yes to all the above. Whatever gives me the most amount of sleep! Once we move into solid 4hr stretches I'll be more focused on putting my babes in his crib.

jsnyder79 · July 2014

We do it all too. He goes to sleep in PnP bassinet by our bed generally but it am he often sleeps next to me bc he will sleep longer there after DH leaves for work. Sometimes he sleeps on my chest.

k2k2tog · July 2014

I'm with lots of the PPs. We bedshare and co-sleep. LO's crib is in our room and will be due to space reasons for a good long while. And, I like to side nurse when I get really exhausted. It helps her fall asleep too. So, she'll either start or end the night in bed with me and go to her crib once DH comes to bed. However, I am definitely uneasy about bedsharing... Every third night or so, I wake in a panic looking for our LO among our sheets when she's already been put in her crib to sleep. This is even worse on nights when the cat snuggles with me and I wake up thinking he's the baby until I realize the thing I'm snuggling is covered in fur. DH never seems to have the same moments of panic.

kimberly11511 · July 2014

We do it all. LO naps during the day in her pnp or travel bassinet. Nights start out in her cosleeper and end up with her sleeping on my chest.

katekat8721 · July 2014

Nighttime we cosleep (their RnPs in our room) and will bed share if they're fussy. Quickest way to get them quiet and give us all some sleep!

Katieluc106 · July 2014

We do whatever works.what ever gets me sleep I'm all about

Taymiller · July 2014

No bed sharing or co-sleeping ever, we would crush the kid. Luckily he sleeps great in his swing or PnP.

ElTrain5 · July 2014

DS sleeps in a snuggle nest co sleeper between us.

kd&cd · July 2014

DD sleeps in her crib all night. I get up w her to feed (if she cries) otherwise she's alone and sleeps great. DH and I agreed no co-sleeping from day 1. During the day she will sleep on my chest, on the couch, PnP or swing.

diagonalley · July 2014

I think other people need to keep opinions to themselves. Unless they want to come over for night time care, stfu. You do what you need to do so you and baby can get some sleep. DS has slept in bed with me for probably a good month. Just this past week he'll sleep for a bit in the rnp, but ultimately ends up back in bed.

allrightmeow · July 2014

We mix it up. Most times M is in his co-sleeper but sometimes he'll have a cuddle with mommy and daddy.

coffee89 · July 2014

DH wants LO in his bassinet and not in our bed but I only get him him there about 75% of the time. There have been plenty of nights when on my chest or in my arms are the only way he is sleeping and I need my sleep as well. We try to get DS to sleep and move him over to his bassinet but DH is impatient with it and LO ends up way too awake on his way there. LO hates the bassinet since he can't see out the sides, he has to be pretty out before being put down to stay there for a good amount of time.

I can either let us both get some sleep on the rough nights together or I can sit up holding and rocking him while he sleeps...I prefer to get that nap in.

When we transfer to his crib is when I will be more concerned about breaking the co-sleeping. Other people need to keep their opinions to themselves.

flerlgirl · July 2014

We don't bedshare but she's in our room. DS was in our room/the living room for a few months before we moved him over to his room.

tummommy · July 2014

Whatever works for you is the best option. DD has always been in bed with me because she wouldn't sleep anywhere else as a newborn, then we had a family crisis when she was a young toddler, then I got pregnant n didn't move her because I didn't want to change things for her any more than what she would already be going through. I assumed DS would also sleep better with me, so he has been in bed with me since day 1 also. Yep, we are doing it all wrong

But: the bed is on the floor, no frame; the kids are on opposite sides of me to keep DD away from DS; SO is generally not here at night and when he is, he is next to DD, never DS because he sleeps too soundly. It works for us.

curlylocks3 · July 2014

They always sleep at night in their cribs unless extremely fussy in which case it's RnPs in the nursery or living. Every once in a while during nap time I'll move the RnPs to our room so I can lay down in bed while rocking them- the couch or futon in the nursery is just not the same.

Rosebud2587 · July 2014

We bed share. DD1 slept in our bed till she was 2. She probably would have been out of our bed sooner but DH was deployed for her 2nd year so I was in no hurry to move her to her own room as it was nice to have a cuddle buddy.

. We're also bed sharing with DD2. Everyone just sleeps better that way.

Pepper6 · July 2014

Dd sleeps in the pnp in our room at night, or lately, in her bouncy seat. When she starts sttn we'll move her to her crib.

We have never bed shared though as dh is a heavy sleeper. He goes back to work this Friday, so I might bring her into the bed after he leaves to get some more sleep

CJnKR2014 · July 2014

I usually try to get them to sleep on their own, but if they end up in our bed, oh well! I love waking to baby cuddles

Cherylwang · July 2014

We have LO in the bassinet next to the bed. She wakes up around 4am and then I pull her in bed to feed her and usually leave her there. I lay her in her bassinet for nap times too. She will be sharing a room with her sister so I need her to sleep through the night before I move her into her room.

irenewslee · July 2014

DD starts out in the PNP in our room (although we need to put her to sleep on oir chest first) and we move her to her crib after the MOTN feed so when we dont wake her up when DH gets ready for work in the morning. She started napping in my bed after the morning feed recently so i can lay there and get some more rest.

sumochik · July 2014

I almost chose SS BC I thought cosleeping and bed sharing were kind of the same, but I guess according to this article bed sharing is a type of co sleeping. Anywho I thought this article was interesting and wanted to share BC I know some moms had expressed concern about babies cosleeping or bed sharing and it seems like the recommendation might not be so set in stone. Obviously every mom is gonna do what's best for their child.

https://www.laleche.org.uk/content/bed-sharing-breastfeeding-and-risk-sids

jenlynne0624 · July 2014

@sumochik I just had that link copied to paste into this thread too. It's a great link to send to those dumb judgey people who give you crap about bedsharing/cosleeping. It'll be a nice way to tell them to STFU.

here's the link again https://www.laleche.org.uk/content/bed-sharing-breastfeeding-and-risk-sids

sumochik · July 2014

@jennyd321‌ I don't even tell people honestly BC I find must ppl ARE so judgey like you said. We were at my aunt's house last week and it was getting late and when we got ready to go my aunt was attempting to soothe the baby and she told him oh don't worry baby you'll be home in your crib soon. My husband and I didn't say a word! This is our third baby and we enjoyed cosleeping with each of them

Taymiller · July 2014

I am lucky in that my baby sleeps in his crib, swing or PnP so we don't have to bed share but I would never judge anyone who does. If that were the only way we could get some sleep I would totally do it. I would be nervous that I would crush him.

MollySm · July 2014

We cosleep for now. Vivi is in a cosleeper up next to the bed. I am incapable of falling asleep with a baby on me or in bed with me, so no bed sharing (I am way too nervous!). She sometimes falls asleep on me, and sometimes we put her down swaddled in the cosleeper to fall asleep on her own. I have found thay it's easier to get them used to this when they are young, rather than waiting until they are older and having them try and learn something new.

ElTrain5 · July 2014

I wanted to post a pic of our snuggle nest for those who want to bed share but are afraid of roll over. It's got hard sides so you can't just smush into it. It's also got a pretty sweet light and music/womb sounds that help DS fall asleep. (Stock photo...we are not nearly this blissful) we got ours on amazon.

cMichelle0423 · July 2014

Both of our boys sleep in bed with us! LO sleeps on his RnP during the day though. Well, except when DS1 does down for a nap. Then me, DS1, and DS2 all snuggle up in our bed. Then DH joins us for bed time at night since he works during the day and misses out on our nap time lol

diagonalley · July 2014

ElTrain5 said:
I wanted to post a pic of our snuggle nest for those who want to bed share but are afraid of roll over. It's got hard sides so you can't just smush into it. It's also got a pretty sweet light and music/womb sounds that help DS fall asleep. (Stock photo...we are not nearly this blissful) we got ours on amazon.

What does a womb sound like?

ElTrain5 · July 2014

MommyP710 said:

ElTrain5 said:
I wanted to post a pic of our snuggle nest for those who want to bed share but are afraid of roll over. It's got hard sides so you can't just smush into it. It's also got a pretty sweet light and music/womb sounds that help DS fall asleep. (Stock photo...we are not nearly this blissful) we got ours on amazon.
What does a womb sound like?

I was just talking to DH about this! Each contraption we have seems to have this setting (pnp, swing, co sleeper). Mainly a lot of heartbeat sounds and "whooshing" noises. God only knows how this was determined.

LindsayDesigner · July 2014

shannonliggett said:
Our pedi asks "LO sleeps on his back in his crib, right?" We have an appointment tomorrow. Do I lie and say yes, or tell the truth (he bed shares half the time, and usually sleeps on his stomach)? DH and I feel comfortable with those choices, but should we?

"Should" is the wrong word. I hope what I mean to say is coming across.

Be honest.

jaybee11 · July 2014

kd&cd said:

DD sleeps in her crib all night. I get up w her to feed (if she cries) otherwise she's alone and sleeps great. DH and I agreed no co-sleeping from day 1. During the day she will sleep on my chest, on the couch, PnP or swing.

This exactly x2. They slept 8 hours last night, so I'm feeling pretty good about our system (and lucky)!

LaurelJoy91 · July 2014

Typically, LO sleeps in the RnP by our bed. But, I have an awesome circle shaped couch/chair thing that is my go-to place for breastfeeding. It looks similar to this:

I sit at the very back of it against the middle pillow, with one of the other pillows under each of my arms. Sometimes during MOTN feedings when I'm absolutely exhausted, I will fall asleep with LO on my chest. It is the most peaceful sleep either of us gets, and I feel safe doing it because 1.) there's nowhere for me to roll, so I can't possibly end up on top of her and 2.) if she rolls over, she'll just land in one of my arms. No risk of her falling onto the floor or getting smothered by blankets or pillows. Sometimes I feel guilty when I leave the bedroom at 2am and don't return to snuggle with H until 20 minutes before his alarm goes off, but it's so much easier to not try to move her to the RnP and risk waking her up. This typically only happens once or twice per week, though. And LO has only been waking up once throughout the night since Saturday (crossing my finger that this continues), so it hasn't happened at all this week.

flerlgirl · July 2014

shannonliggett said:
Our pedi asks "LO sleeps on his back in his crib, right?" We have an appointment tomorrow. Do I lie and say yes, or tell the truth (he bed shares half the time, and usually sleeps on his stomach)? DH and I feel comfortable with those choices, but should we?

"Should" is the wrong word. I hope what I mean to say is coming across.

Don't lie to your pediatrician

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