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July 2014 Moms
BBColt78
member
BB/PPD/PPA Ongoing Thread
BBColt78
member
As requested, an ongoing thread for asking questions or relating to others about how you feel post baby.
Because we can't see siggies on mobile... Try to include how many days/weeks pp you are.
Because we can't see siggies on mobile... Try to include how many days/weeks pp you are.
IVF #1- BFP- DD 4/8/2011
FET #1- 3BB and 3B-B
Beta #1 (4w0d)- 504
Beta #2 (4w4d)- 4,577
Beta #3 (6w0d)- 78,399 HB 115 bpm
U/S #2 7w0d- HB 155 bpm
This discussion has been closed.
Re: BB/PPD/PPA Ongoing Thread
Previous history of PPD/PPA
I have it bad right now, lots of crying and physical symptoms. Overwhelming anxiety, feelings of inadequacy as a mother, guilt.
My OB office wants me to get into a psychiatrist, but I've called a dozen places and they either aren't taking new patients, or the next opening is in a month. So I've got that extra frustration.
I'm very lucky to have insurance and a supportive family, and I know this will end, but it's hell being in the middle of it.
Last week was rough for me, lots of crying and just overall depression...but I couldn't pinpoint what I was upset about. I started feeling better this weekend. DH stayed with the boys so I could go to Starbucks and grocery shop alone. I think just getting out of the house for a couple hours alone was the best medicine.
Thinking at this point I have a touch of baby blues, but definitely will be mentioning to my OB. Hang in there fellow July mamas!!
Baby blues hit me every evening - some days better than others. Very teary. Worried about the social isolation. We're new to the area. I'm the first of my friends to have kids (and most of our friends live in NYC, about 30 minutes away) and don't have any family in the area. It's overwhelming to me when I don't have any plans for the day and don't know how I am going to pass the time. Looking for moms groups but having a hard time finding any active ones in my area. Feeling like it's hard to find newborn appropriate activitites.
@SimpleComplexity Do you have anyone to help at night if you get frustrated? It's easy for patience to run out. Do not feel guilty about letting baby cry if you get overwhelmed. Are you a FTM?
@Aimes33m as soon as baby gets out of that newborn funk you'll be able to get out easily. I took little steps with my first. I went on walks, then a drive and built up to going to stores and things. You'll be out there soon!
I have good days and bad. By husband went back to work today and I broke down last night. Especially since now night time feedings will be all me since he has to get up early for work. Sometimes I feel like he is better with out dd then me. He is very good at calming her down, and I feel like I can't do it, she will just cry and cry until my husband takes her. Then she will go right to sleep. I must say though that my 2 year old has adjusted pretty well. I am struggling with giving them equal attention though.
@jamboree jess I hope it's baby blues too, but it might be worth a call to your doctor just to talk it out. I'd hate for it to get worse and the lack of appetite could be bad news (something I'm dealing with too)
@SimpleComplexity talking about it is so much harder than putting on a good face, but I really recommend you do it; SO, mom, BFF. Just letting other people know you are suffering can be good, and then they can watch for signs that it's getting worse. I agree with @BBColt78 about getting some nighttime help if possible. Or even just following my DH's advice "I put him down, close the door the go eat an ice cream. A baby never died from crying"
I'm still working 40 hours a week, and literally havnt slept in over a year. I sweat each night and can't breath and LO still wakes up for one or two bottles a night. I literally cry everyday at everything. I'm just wondering how it will be when DS arrives.
How am I going to divide my attention? I've never in my life cried so much, I'm over it but when and how can I feel better? Praying for this feeling to go away. Hugs to all!
We have our "Irish Twins"
DD born 8/7/2013
DS born 7/28/14
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My husband will be off until DD is a month old, and while I realize how lucky we are, the thought of him going back to work makes me bawl my eyes out and have terrible anxiety. He's so good with her, way better than me, and I'm not sure how I'll do it without him here all day.
Life just feels so overwhelming. I expected to feel some of this, but the detachment is the hardest part. It causes guilt and anxiety and I just keep hoping that I'll finally feel connected to her like he does.
I'm sorry that any of you are going through this too. We will all get through this, even if it doesn't seem possible.
@tricksyPixie
I just wanted to send out hugs to you. You have always made me laugh while posting on this board. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I had to FF last year, yes I was sad about it, but in the end it was better for the both us of. I could not produce because of getting pregnant, but I promise the feeling of being disappointed about it does go away. Please, if you ever need someone to talk to you can PM me at anytime. Sorry about the car as well. When it rains it pours, but it does make is stronger in the end.
We have our "Irish Twins"
DD born 8/7/2013
DS born 7/28/14
<
>
In the beginning, I had the baby blues hardcore. I wasn't eating and like a lot of you ladies, felt very anxious when my fiance would have to leave for work. I'd cry eveytime he would call in to check on us and would count down the hours until he was done and on his way home.
I hate being alone too. It's getting easier as each day passes. I find myself crying less and not feeling as panicky when my fiance has to leave for work.
I'm also leaving for Connecticut on Monday to see my parents and my sister for a few weeks with the baby. Knowing this, I think has contributed to my mood being lifted. I'll get to see my family and my fiance's family while I'm up there. I'm looking forward to the extra company and being surrounded by them.
I hope the days get easier / more manageable for you ladies. Knowing you're not alone definitely helps. Hugs again
This weekend was my lowest point. Sunday I called my in-laws to come over and then didn't get out of bed until 4pm. There was so much crying and I wasn't even alone.
Tuesday was actually a really good day and I felt normal. I'm so hoping it continues and that all of you will have better days.
Because I kept a blog with dd, I was able to go back and see that my baby blues lasted about two weeks. As I near the two week mark, I'm starting to feel a little better. There is less crying and I feel Less overwhelmed.
As with other posters here, I'm a STM and I was surprised by the sadness and overwhelming feeling this time. because I know that life gets back to normal, I was not expecting to feel overwhelmed again. Wanted to make sure to post so other STMs can see that we are struggling too.
Hugs to all you girls... Keep us posted.
I was definitely a water faucet for the first 2 weeks. I mean crazy... Laughing one minute, then crocodile tears the next and then laughing because I was crying for no reason or didn't know the reason. I had a very hard time with DH going back to work. separation anxiety I think after the whole labor and delivery bonding experience not to mention he has been a huge help! Each day I have less tears and I have found if I go outside at least once a day it makes me feel better. I also like if I can talk to someone during some of my nursing sessions because they can be long and are so frequent that I get lonely. The baby is more alert each day and seems to recognize me and want to be with me which also helps me feel needed and loved. My OB has been having me go in once a week so he can take a look at me and make sure I seem good.
Hugs to you ladies dealing with this as well! It's a major change with healing bodies and almost no sleep. There is light at the end of the tunnel though!
Oh oh, you haven't heard the best yet. My BIL was in a car accident. He collided with a semi head on, but thankfully he is ok. Just two broken ankles, a broken finger, lacerations to both arms, dislocated shoulder and ankle and a lot of cuts and bruises. Anyway, after an er visit, a hospital transfer and being told he would get a surgery the next day, he was discharged and told he would have surgery next week. My in laws are out of the damn country, and my DH and I are having to care for dd, who has thrush, and my BIL, who can't do much on his own, not to mention try not to freak out because we are just about 120% fucked. Meds still not helping much. Ready to run away.
It's a never ending shitstorm. I'm not medicated enough for this.
Then at about 16days post DH began working super late and I had both boys for the majority of the days by myself. We didn't see DH for days. I knew it was coming it was just so hard. That really hard week seemed to have thrown me into a huge funk. I have a seriously short fuse with my 3yo and can't stand breastfreeding. I cry all the time and yell. I used to pick my battles and now I react to everything. I am also feeling like my support system feels like I should have it more together and I just...don't.
Hoping things get better once DH is back to help at night- should be by the end of this week. I just miss my old self and the way I used to be.
DD was driving me nuts and we were always yelling at her. Now we give her marbles for good behavior and it's really helped. It helps us focus on the positive.
I had a panic attack this evening and have been crying off and on for the past few hours. It's a mix of things...mostly guilt. But I also really miss just being with DS. Really hoping it's just baby blues, but the panic attack has me concerned.
I am a crying horribly sad mess. Can someone tell me this is normal? My friends & family keep repeating to 'be strong & stop crying.' I can't stop crying. My baby is a day old and I haven't held her since they grabbed her from my chest when she turned blue soon after her birth.
I have to ask to even have them open the curtain so I can see my LO through the NICU glass window. Why can they not let me be horribly sad and guilty and mad that I am alone in this room with SO and someone else is caring for my baby because she cannot breathe or eat on her own?
This is the most horrible feeling in the world- I am not meant to be away from her. It makes it worse when they keep saying I'm not being strong. I cannot help crying or feeling this way, & it takes some kind of strength to stare at my baby girl for hours through a window and not get to touch her!
Oh this is killing me. I hate it.
@lynjae2004, that sounds 'normal' to me. That is a lot to deal with. T&p for your girl. If I was there, I'd hold you and let you cry. You can only be so strong! Hoping your family and friends understand that soon and are more supportive