No shame in a c section

nickicl · July 2014

Check out this article:
https://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2014/07/cesarean_births_pregnancy_doc_on_the_risks_and_rewards_of_c_section.html

Thoughts?

I've definitely experienced my share of rude or disheartening comments and struggled to feel good about the way it all went down at times.

I'm happy someone is talking about this.

ashaw512 · July 2014

I agree with c-sections are acceptable for medical reasons. I do not approve of elective c-section, which I did not have, mine was emergency because DDs cord was wrapped so tightly around her neck she couldn't come down.

Unknown · July 2014

This content has been removed.

harmonicbabe26 · July 2014

Honestly, feeling ashamed that you had a cs is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. And nobody needs to justify how their baby came out. This is the same kind of thing as shaming mothers for not breastfeeding or not exclusively breastfeeding. Just another way to propagate mommy wars, us vs them, and holier than thou attitudes. Those who feel ashamed should get over, and those who shame others should shut the eff up and mind gheir own business...

mysticl · July 2014

ambershaw512 said:

I agree with c-sections are acceptable for medical reasons. I do not approve of elective c-section, which I did not have, mine was emergency because DDs cord was wrapped so tightly around her neck she couldn't come down.

In a different forum a woman was telling me she has worked in two hospitals where the doctors push women to have c-sections so they can be scheduled at their (the doctor's) convenience. As a result very few babies were born Friday-Sunday, at night, or on holidays. I personally think that should be considered malpractice.

nickicl · July 2014

harmonicbabe26 said:

Honestly, feeling ashamed that you had a cs is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. And nobody needs to justify how their baby came out. This is the same kind of thing as shaming mothers for not breastfeeding or not exclusively breastfeeding. Just another way to propagate mommy wars, us vs them, and holier than thou attitudes. Those who feel ashamed should get over, and those who shame others should shut the eff up and mind gheir own business...

Agree with everything you said but I wish it were that easy.

nickicl · July 2014

@mysticl‌ , people love to tell these stories and I have no doubts that there truly are hospitals and Dr who do this as well as other wrongs, but I have to figure, especially nowadays, that it is uncommon.

Women are more aware of their options than ever before and they could say no or switch to new service providers.

I also suspect that insurers might start raising questions and withdraw network support if the trends for particular providers were way out of the normal range.

In any event, I'm not sure I understand the meaning or relevance to topic at hand. Are you saying the women who give birth via c section in those circumstances should be shamed?

[Deleted User] · July 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

mysticl · July 2014

nickicl said:

@mysticl‌ , people love to tell these stories and I have no doubts that there truly are hospitals and Dr who do this as well as other wrongs, but I have to figure, especially nowadays, that it is uncommon.

Women are more aware of their options than ever before and they could say no or switch to new service providers.

I also suspect that insurers might start raising questions and withdraw network support if the trends for particular providers were way out of the normal range.

In any event, I'm not sure I understand the meaning or relevance to topic at hand. Are you saying the women who give birth via c section in those circumstances should be shamed?

No their doctors should be. I was just piggybacking on the person I quoted's comment about elective c-sections.

As for switching providers it's not always that easy. Where I currently live the hospital has a total VBAC ban. The closet place to have a VBAC is about an hour away. Some women do not want to make that trip for all of their prenatal care and are nervous about making that drive in labor. Or they can't afford the gas money and to take that much time out of work for their appointments. Also, it requires you to cross state lines and not all insurances allow you to seek care in another state.

ashaw512 · July 2014

mysticl said:

ambershaw512 said:

I agree with c-sections are acceptable for medical reasons. I do not approve of elective c-section, which I did not have, mine was emergency because DDs cord was wrapped so tightly around her neck she couldn't come down.

In a different forum a woman was telling me she has worked in two hospitals where the doctors push women to have c-sections so they can be scheduled at their (the doctor's) convenience. As a result very few babies were born Friday-Sunday, at night, or on holidays. I personally think that should be considered malpractice.
They also get paid more.

Justabean3 · July 2014

I honestly dont care how people get their babies out or what meds or no meds they end up with.

It isn't my business and if people want an elective, so be it.. If their doctor likes c's so be it... They picked them

It doesn't matter in the long run because it doesn't change what kind of mother you are. I think people have no business judging this issue or making someone else feel ashamed. I feel the same way with bf vs formula

HotChocolate79 · July 2014

Justabean3 said:
I honestly dont care how people get their babies out or what meds or no meds they end up with.

It isn't my business and if people want an elective, so be it.. If their doctor likes c's so be it... They picked them

It doesn't matter in the long run because it doesn't change what kind of mother you are. I think people have no business judging this issue or making someone else feel ashamed. I feel the same way with bf vs formula

This exactly. Why anyone cares how others birth their babies is beyond me. I had two C sections and have no reason to feel ashamed.

Whitwankstah · July 2014

I agree, no shame in a CS. How a woman gives birth doesn't matter. In the end she is still a mother.
I am having an ECS for my first for no medical reasons and I feel nothing but joy and relief over it.

nickicl · July 2014

mysticl said:

nickicl said:

@mysticl‌ , people love to tell these stories and I have no doubts that there truly are hospitals and Dr who do this as well as other wrongs, but I have to figure, especially nowadays, that it is uncommon.

Women are more aware of their options than ever before and they could say no or switch to new service providers.

I also suspect that insurers might start raising questions and withdraw network support if the trends for particular providers were way out of the normal range.

In any event, I'm not sure I understand the meaning or relevance to topic at hand. Are you saying the women who give birth via c section in those circumstances should be shamed?

No their doctors should be. I was just piggybacking on the person I quoted's comment about elective c-sections.

As for switching providers it's not always that easy. Where I currently live the hospital has a total VBAC ban. The closet place to have a VBAC is about an hour away. Some women do not want to make that trip for all of their prenatal care and are nervous about making that drive in labor. Or they can't afford the gas money and to take that much time out of work for their appointments. Also, it requires you to cross state lines and not all insurances allow you to seek care in another state.

Not saying its easy to seek alternatives, just that some may.. In any case, sorry if a small number of Dr. And hospitals are giving a bad name.

I have no problem with elective c sections either, but I do support a woman's choice.

bitsybubbles7 · July 2014

harmonicbabe26 said:

Honestly, feeling ashamed that you had a cs is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. And nobody needs to justify how their baby came out. This is the same kind of thing as shaming mothers for not breastfeeding or not exclusively breastfeeding. Just another way to propagate mommy wars, us vs them, and holier than thou attitudes. Those who feel ashamed should get over, and those who shame others should shut the eff up and mind gheir own business...

Agree completely. Had an ecs with my first and will have an rcs with this one. I have actually had people ask me if I'm ok with another cs (sad face and everything)... Are you kidding me? Yep, totally fine with it. Actually makes things slightly easier for planning with lo and dh for the birth.

It just makes me mad there is still this sigma about cs.

nickicl · July 2014

Love how confident you ladies are in your decisions and experiences.

SarahRae85 · July 2014

I was all set for a VBAC with my 3rd after an ECS with my 2nd. All things considered I was a perfect candidate, but when it came down to the wire, a lot of things piled on top of each other and both my doctor and I felt the best option was a RCS.

Of course, I was upset. It wasn't what I wanted going in, but it seemed the moment I expressed any negative feelings (not doubt just some disappointment), I was suddenly on the defensive about the decision my DH and I had made with my doctor.

Meanwhile, if I expressed any concerns/nerves about a VBAC I got nothing but encouragement. That was the hardest part of my decision for a RCS. It was like all my support suddenly disappeared.

Thank goodness I did have some support to get me through the week of nerves leading up to it.

KerCo51 · July 2014

I have no shame about having a CS. It wasn't like it was something I chose, it was something that was necessary. DD was breech and they inaccurately predicted that she was about 10 lbs, so they didn't recommend trying to turn her. I also could care less what people think about it. I look at her birth as a beautiful experience.

BootsOrHearts · July 2014

I don't have any shame about it, but really irks me when people try to say C-sections aren't BIRTH because the baby did come out your vag. Or they call it 'surgical extraction' instead of birth. No sorry, it's BIRTH. Which hole a baby came out of makes no difference, they were still BORN, I still gave BIRTH and it certainly was not any easier than a vaginal birth so don't try to make me feel like I took the easy way out. Yeah I was cut, but women are cut all the time with vaginal births (i.e. episiotomies), it doesn't make it any less of a birth.

skylily · July 2014

I've often felt ..different. Not necessarily ashamed but perhaps a touch of it. I am the only female in my family, and my husbands, that had to have a CS. I never felt robbed of any experience, but I did feel like a whimp when after 16 hours of early labor and no sleep for 2 days prior due to a sinus infection - - I asked for an epidural. It was taking forever and I was exhausted. I thought if they could ease the contractions I could nap until labor really started. (No joke) My mom, MIL, and SIL's all did it naturally so I felt like I had to keep that as a my dirty little secret. Everyone kept asking me why I had to have a CS and maybe it was the truth that DS was breech that held off any judgement.... at least to my face. I wouldn't want to know if my family looked down on me.

Unknown · July 2014

This content has been removed.

NatureLovers · July 2014

aditigirl said:

Whitwankstah said:
I agree, no shame in a CS. How a woman gives birth doesn't matter. In the end she is still a mother.
I am having an ECS for my first for no medical reasons and I feel nothing but joy and relief over it.
You're an idiot. But this has been established.

WTF?

BootsOrHearts · July 2014

Whitwankstah said:

I agree, no shame in a CS. How a woman gives birth doesn't matter. In the end she is still a mother. I am having an ECS for my first for no medical reasons and I feel nothing but joy and relief over it.

I would take a vaginal birth any day over a c-section, it was painful and scary and the recovery was awful. I cried in the operating room almost the whole time. I couldn't get out of bed for 2 days and I was catheterized. I couldn't walk without help for a week. When I coughed or sneezed it was complete agony. So cheers, enjoy!

Unknown · July 2014

This content has been removed.

BootsOrHearts · July 2014

aditigirl said:

BootsOrHearts said:

Whitwankstah said:

I agree, no shame in a CS. How a woman gives birth doesn't matter. In the end she is still a mother. I am having an ECS for my first for no medical reasons and I feel nothing but joy and relief over it.

I would take a vaginal birth any day over a c-section, it was painful and scary and the recovery was awful. I cried in the operating room almost the whole time. I couldn't get out of bed for 2 days and I was catheterized. I couldn't walk without help for a week. When I coughed or sneezed it was complete agony. So cheers, enjoy!

Finally, a voice of reason. Most sane people don't choose an elective c-section 'just because'.

Right?? If it was supposed to be a walk in the park, I guess I didn't get that memo.

zbeesma86 · July 2014

I had a c-section and as a result I have a healthy baby girl. I had pre-e and she was breech.

People have good and bad experiences with c-sections and with vaginal birth. If someone wants to have a c-section- who the fuck cares?! Let them!

I had a great experience! I will absolutely have another c-section if/when I have another baby.

c-section shame is ridiculous. I can't believe this is even a thing.. For anyone to make you feel inferior about a c-section needs a bracing reality check.

Justabean3 · July 2014

BootsOrHearts said:

Whitwankstah said:

I agree, no shame in a CS. How a woman gives birth doesn't matter. In the end she is still a mother.
I am having an ECS for my first for no medical reasons and I feel nothing but joy and relief over it.

I would take a vaginal birth any day over a c-section, it was painful and scary and the recovery was awful. I cried in the operating room almost the whole time. I couldn't get out of bed for 2 days and I was catheterized. I couldn't walk without help for a week. When I coughed or sneezed it was complete agony. So cheers, enjoy!

-----
Funny I didn't chose to have either of mine c-section and this wasn't my experience at all. The cath was taken out by the end up day one, I was up peeing and walking by that night and the day I went home I was trying to clean

Not everyone's experience is agony. I know lots of people in "agony" after a vaginal from tearing or other reason.

No one experience is better than another and NO Specific experience makes you a better mother or a more entitled one

Vag, c, adoption, fertility meds, natural,
One month trying, 10 years trying, 1 kid, 10 kids, surrogate, nicu stay, preemie, full term, over term, natural, meds or any other way you can possibly think up......how ever they come out and into your possession makes you a mother.

SmittyPants · July 2014

ambershaw512 said:

I agree with c-sections are acceptable for medical reasons. I do not approve of elective c-section, which I did not have, mine was emergency because DDs cord was wrapped so tightly around her neck she couldn't come down.

Oh, you don't approve? Well then it's a good thing it isn't your business and has no bearing on your life.

I chose a c-section for my second child's birth, because the birth of my first child was a total nightmare. The c-section was a much better experience and if we were to have another child, I'd schedule one again.

Not your body, not your business.

ashaw512 · August 2014

SmittyPants said:

ambershaw512 said:

I agree with c-sections are acceptable for medical reasons. I do not approve of elective c-section, which I did not have, mine was emergency because DDs cord was wrapped so tightly around her neck she couldn't come down.

Oh, you don't approve? Well then it's a good thing it isn't your business and has no bearing on your life.

I chose a c-section for my second child's birth, because the birth of my first child was a total nightmare. The c-section was a much better experience and if we were to have another child, I'd schedule one again.

Not your body, not your business.

Good for you. I didn't ask if anyone was having a CS bc I don't want it to be MY business. I was giving my experience and my opinion, since op asked for thoughts so I gave mine. I don't care if you had one or not, but I still don't approve unless there was a medical reason involved. I'm not shaming anyone for having a CS I said I don't approve. So shut up.

Unknown · August 2014

This content has been removed.

Unknown · August 2014

This content has been removed.

nickicl · August 2014

aditigirl said:

I don't shame people by calling them insane for choosing something that I don't agree with.

So you're trying to tell me that you think it's totes cool that the OP wants to elect to have a csection because she "doesn't think she's brave enough" to have a vaginal birth? You don't find that insane?

The original post didn't say anything like that.

[Deleted User] · August 2014

aditigirl said:

I don't shame people by calling them insane for choosing something that I don't agree with.

So you're trying to tell me that you think it's totes cool that the OP wants to elect to have a csection because she "doesn't think she's brave enough" to have a vaginal birth? You don't find that insane?

No, I don't find it insane. I am clearly in the minority but I honestly don't give a damn how someone else delivers their child. I would have been down with an elective c/s. I was actually relieved when I ended up needing a c/s (save the scary situation involved) because I had zero desire to deliver any other way.

FTR- my recovery was amazing. I was walking within 12 hours and didn't need anything beyond ibuprofen after 24 hours. So yeah. Cheers, I did enjoy it. I doesn't make me any less of a woman or a mom.

bitsybubbles7 · August 2014

MarlaSinger& said:

aditigirl said:

I don't shame people by calling them insane for choosing something that I don't agree with.

So you're trying to tell me that you think it's totes cool that the OP wants to elect to have a csection because she "doesn't think she's brave enough" to have a vaginal birth? You don't find that insane?

No, I don't find it insane. I am clearly in the minority but I honestly don't give a damn how someone else delivers their child. I would have been down with an elective c/s. I was actually relieved when I ended up needing a c/s (save the scary situation involved) because I had zero desire to deliver any other way.

FTR- my recovery was amazing. I was walking within 12 hours and didn't need anything beyond ibuprofen after 24 hours. So yeah. Cheers, I did enjoy it. I doesn't make me any less of a woman or a mom.

MarlaSinger& you literally took the words out of my mouth. By the time they decided to do an emergancy c/s with my first, I was relieved and didn't much care how he came out. When my doctor told me a rcs was my best option with this pregnancy, I was fully on board. I know everyone recovers differently, but I also had a pretty easy recovery. Walking within 12 hours and I think I was off pain meds by the 3rd day at home.

Edit to add - When it comes down to it, it is really no one's business how you deliver your baby.

Unknown · August 2014

This content has been removed.

capulet · August 2014

aditigirl said:

------------------------ FTR- I never said or implied that having a csection makes someone less of a woman or a mom. But i stand by the fact that the OP is an idiot. I'm glad you were happy with your csection.

Can you please refer back to the OP? I think you're mixing up two different people.

[Deleted User] · August 2014

aditigirl said:

But i stand by the fact that the OP is an idiot. .

Huh? I went back through this post. The OP was nothing of the sort.

ashaw512 · August 2014

MarlaSinger& said:

aditigirl said:

MarlaSinger& said:

But i stand by the fact that the OP is an idiot. .

Huh? I went back through this post. The OP was nothing of the sort.
For an elective c-section, yes that's dumb therefore, idiot!

[Deleted User] · August 2014

ambershaw512 said:

aditigirl said:

But i stand by the fact that the OP is an idiot. .

Huh? I went back through this post. The OP was nothing of the sort.
For an elective c-section, yes that's dumb therefore, idiot!

OP wasn't the one who said she was going for one.

bitsybubbles7 · August 2014

nickicl said:

Check out this article: https://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2014/07/cesarean_births_pregnancy_doc_on_the_risks_and_rewards_of_c_section.html Thoughts? I've definitely experienced my share of rude or disheartening comments and struggled to feel good about the way it all went down at times. I'm happy someone is talking about this.

This was the OP...

Unknown · August 2014

This content has been removed.

Want a personalized experience?

No shame in a c section

Re: No shame in a c section

Choose Another Board

Search Boards