As some of you may know, I did IVF with two embryos. Both implanted but one split so I am currently pregnant with triplets. We've begun the SR discussions and started making appointments with MFMs, etc. Everything I hear about the risks of carrying triplets (particularly the chance of losing all three babies) has me leaning towards going through with the procedure. But I am waiting to make my final call until 1. I confirm that one of the twins hasn't vanished yet and 2. I meet with the perinatologist. So, if I decide to keep all three, give me the scoop:
1.Were you worried about your belly getting so big?
2. Were you worried you just couldn't handle three crying newborns?
3. Were you worried about how you would transport three babies everywhere?
4. Were you worried about pre term labor?
5. Were you worried about developmental difficulties?
6. Were you worried about being confined to bed rest?
7. Were you worried about not being able to work and earn money (that you would really need for extra babies)?
8. Were you worried about the triplets not being seen as individuals but as a set or even as a little freaky?
9. Anything else I need to keep in mind?
Thank you.
Re: Possible triplets: tell me everything you know about being a MoM
Yes, I was honestly worried about what would happen to my body in general. I had diastasis recti with my singleton. But by the time I delivered at 27 weeks I was roughly the size I wad at delivery with my singleton. Ended up being a non-issue.
2. Were you worried you just couldn't handle three crying newborns?
Yup. It's stressful. But we have been so fortunate with help from our families and both my DH and I are home full time for the next few months (again, very fortunate to have that option). There have been several times (especially at night in the newborn stage) that I just cried with them.
3. Were you worried about how you would transport three babies everywhere?
This kept me up at night during my pregnancy. I have yet to venture out on my own with more than two.
4. Were you worried about pre term labor?
Oddly enough, not really. Because I assumed it would happen, so I let it go.
5. Were you worried about developmental difficulties?
Not really until they were born so early. I knew the risks but again, I was able to let it go until they were born.
6. Were you worried about being confined to bed rest?
I was placed on MBR at 12/13 weeks, so I didn't have much time to worry ahead of time. Lots of help from family. Plus, I'm in Canada, so I had insurance benefits to claim for being out of work for a medical reason, having critically ill babies in the hospital, and then mat leave.
7. Were you worried about not being able to work and earn money (that you would really need for extra babies)?
The budget will be tight until I go back to work. I'm more worried about keeping my practice hours up so I don't lose my professional license.
8. Were you worried about the triplets not being seen as individuals but as a set or even as a little freaky?
It has taken some getting used to, the attention multiples draw. We try to refer to them by name, not as "the triplets". We don't dress them alike, etc.
9. Anything else I need to keep in mind?
If you move forward with multiples, say yes to any offers of help. If people say "let me know what I can do!", tell them! Bring a meal, etc. Friends understand that if they come visit, odds are they will be handed a baby to hold and/or feed at some point!
10. Bonding - this was difficult for me with them being in the NICU so long. I kept comparing things to my first pregnancy and relationship with my older DS. But it has gotten better since they've come home.
11. This is not natural - this did cross my mind, especially during my pregnancy. The aches and pains I had in third tri with my son came so much earlier. I literally had to nap every afternoon to function. I felt like a house so early. But I tried my best to keep my spirits up and joke about things. My DH was wonderfully supportive.
First pregnancy - DS 01-Apr-09;
3rd cycle Clomid/IUI after 2 years TTC
TTC #2 since ~June 2010
IUI #1 & 2 - Clomid/IUI - BFN
IUI #3 &4 - Gonal-F/Ovidrel and IUI -- BFN
IUI #5 - Gonal-F/Ovidrel and IUI -- BFP!!
EDD: March 22, 2013
It's triplets!!
Twin mom here, but it's still a multiples perspective:
TTC since June 2009
BFP #1 2/22/10 M/C 6w2d
BFP #2 October 2010 CP
BFP #3 1/11/11 M/C 8w5d
IUI #1 Aug 2011= BFN
IUI #2= BFP #4 9/18/11 missed M/C, D&C 10/18/11
IUIs #3&4 = BFN
IVF #1 May 2012 = BFP! Twins!!
Fraternal twins born Feb. 2013
Right ovary removed 09.04.2012 via vertical laparotomy
Essure implant placed on remaining tube 06.13.2013; successful followup scan 09.30.2013
I am a twin mom but here is mine:
1. It actually never seemed like my belly was that big to me. Randoms told me it was and when I look at pictures it looks like it was but to me it always seemed like it wasn't too bad and there was always more room. I was very happy when flip flop weather came, even though I decided it was in March in Michigan because I really couldn't put on boots anymore after a while.
2. I was worried about them crying at the same time but actually it was pretty rare where I was alone where they both had meltdowns. When it did happen, that is when we went for a ride in the car or stroller and it always worked. Rides always make them stop at some point. Swings also did wonders for this.
3. We weren't worried about this because it always just was in our mind that we had to get both kids. It didn't take long when we found out about the twins that now it's hard to even think of things without 2 kids right away. We knew we had to get a great stroller and we did and I still firmly believe it is the most important purchase. They didn't have good double strollers in stores really so it took more research but when getting that stroller, I really felt like I could conquer the world and I didn't ever have anywhere I didn't feel like I could go but the stroller did go everywhere with us to make that possible.
4. I wasn't too worried about preterm labor since the women in my family tend to go past due dates always and I guess it didn't cross my mind too much. I knew it was always a possibility but with lots of doctors visits, they were able to always keep a good watch because especially near the end, the doctor's office became like a second home cause I was there so much.
5. I knew this again was a possibility but I didn't think about it too much and decided we'd adjust how we needed to. My twins actually started out great and have been ahead on rolling over, walking, words, etc compared to single babies.
6. I was a little worried about bedrest and for some reason I really wanted to prove that just because I was carrying twins I wasn't necessarily going to be on bedrest. I did end up getting preeclampsia and was put on bedrest a week before being induced and it wasn't bad. I have known a lot of people that were put on bedrest when they were pregnant with one baby too.
7. We are always a little worried about finances 14 months later and have always worried about finances before we had kids. We always know we will make it though one way or another. The great thing about having mulitiples is that people really want to help you out, especially other parents of mulitiples. So many people have reached out to us to let us have or borrow things and you really don't need 2 of everything. Our family and friends have been very generous and you can get stuff at mom-to-mom sales, garage sales, etc. I never turn anything down. Even if I find I don't use it, I always take what's offered first and figure out if we do want to use it later.
8.I wasn't really worried about this because I knew my husband and I would always make them feel individual and special and that's what mattered. Being a mulitiple is unique and special and amazes people. It's a miracle I get to see everyday and I love that. We really try and focus on the positives of having twins verses the negatives. My twins are boy/girl so it ended up not being much of an issue really. I will say, ever sense they turned about 8/9 months, they really have been best friends and things have gotten a lot easier because they entertain each other and make each other laugh. They always want to be together and instead of us always trying to keep them entertained they really do that for each other and there is nothing better to watch.
9. You will be amazed what you are capable of doing. When I first found out we were having twins, I swore that my husband had set up it as a joke and even though I didn't know how he get the ultrasound tec and everyone on board, I was very convinced and in shock. I started connecting with twin parents because they became the best ones and still are the best ones to talk to because they support you in a different way than others can. Looking back we can't remember much from the first few months but it's also been a lot of fun and I'm so happy I've gotten to experience something so special with twins. It has it's hard times, but with a supportive husband who is completely hands on and both of us working equally as hard and doing things equally with the kids, it's been memorable and fun to do it together. I know a lot of moms seem to take on more responsibilities when they have one baby but with us and never having that as an option with the twins, my husband has gotten a chance to bond with the babies just as much as I have and I love how close he is with them. I feel like there is nothing that can make us more of a team than the twin experience. Also, family and friends loving helping out more than if we had one baby and I'd probably be handling things a lot more. It makes them feel special and helps them make special bonds as well. I remember when we were in the hospital and we were worried about weight loss with the babies and my son had breathing problems, etc and the nurses kept saying in a month this is going to be old news and they will be chunky babies and you won't have any worries anymore. From your post it really sounds like you are really worried about the pregnancy and newborn phase which is definietly huge things to think about and worry about but if you think about the amount of time you are pregnant and the babies are newborns compared to the later years, it's short term and difficult but if you think about all the years to come with the mulitiples, it's only just the beginning. With your situation, I would think about what you will regret more. That's how I often make tough decisions.
Sorry forgot to remind the other 2:
10. I was probably the most worried about this, especially after they were born and my son was in the nursery while my daughter was in the room with me but it was a again, it really gave my husband the opportunity to bond with the babies so much because we were both trying to make sure both babies got attention and I love that he has this. He loves talking about his bonding stories when they kids were born and newborn and I don't know if he would have gotten so much of this with one baby. Hearing him tell these stories over and over still brings the biggest smile to my face. There was many newborn days where my daughter was so content and never seemed to cry about anything (we actually asked the doctor cause we were so worried) and our son seemed to need attention all the time and I felt so bad but people reminded me that it would be similar to this if we had one baby and they already had siblings and that was always helpful. You will bond with them no matter what because they already have a bond with you. My daughter was screaming her head off after she was born (csections) and when they brought her to me, she stopped crying immediately so I know we were already bonded from the start and you will be too
11. It never seemed not natural it was just hard to believe I was a twin mom in the beginning and then after a few months it was hard to think of anything but having twins. It was so cool that I could feel the different babies and know who was doing what when they were moving around. I loved the excitement and miracle of it all and I loved that I could share that with everyone, even those odd strangers. Sometimes it makes me feel like I"m in a parade in the grocery store when I'm strolling the kids down an aisle and people just stop and one say, "oh twins" and they just stop and stare but I am excited that they can witness something so cool.
10. I didn't worry about the bonding, knew I would do the best I could do.
11. no - but people definitely think that triplets are all 'helped' and can't be natural. That bugs me.
Wedding Fall 2007 Off OCP's since 9/08-started with BBT charts Saw Ob/gyn May 2009 Blood work normal except single copy of MTHFR Clomid 50mg May 2009 Clomid 50mg + IUI June 2009 Femara 5mg + IUI July 2009 Normal HSG July 2009 Femara 5mg + ovidrel+IUI August 2009 Femara 5mg +ovidrel + IUI September 2009 November 2009-normal lap December 2009-met with RE December/January-Injectible med cycle with IUI-Abnormal sperm morpology found-only 0-1% normal All Head defects. Jan/Feb 2010 1st IVF with ICSI-5 week chemical pregnancy
Feb 2010-male infertility doc says DH's anatomy and blood work are normal so nothing he can do.
FET July 2010-BFP! Twin m/c @ 5.5 wks
Dec/Jan 2011 IVF #2 Only 4 eggs retrieved-Ganirelix dose messed up BFFN
Feb/March 2011 IVF #3 ER 3/9 9 eggs, 7 fertilized, ET 3/14, No frosties. BFN
IVF #4 ER 8/22 9R,7F ET 8/25-3 embies, 1 frostie! Beta 9/2= 54, 9/6=274, 9/8=625, 9/12=2953, 9/16 greater than 10,000. B/G TWINS born April 2012 @ 36wks & 1 day!
July 2014-going back for the frozen embryo! ET 7/28, heartbeat seen at 6wks1day with SCH. Miscarriage confirmed at 6wks4days
And I am glad you have this place as a resource :-)
How to tell my boys apart
The different types of twins and triplets
Jack, Sydney and Carynne, Annaleigh, JW, Eden...forever in our hearts.
My blog * We made the national news!
10. Did you worry you wouldn't be able to bond with any of them because you would be so busy/tired/recovering/separated by NICU? Honestly, I didn't bond with them until they came home (at about 2 weeks old) and I was worried because when they were in the NICU, they didn't feel like "mine." But within a few weeks or months (it's all a blur), we totally bonded.
How to tell my boys apart
The different types of twins and triplets
Jack, Sydney and Carynne, Annaleigh, JW, Eden...forever in our hearts.
My blog * We made the national news!
No periods due to 17 years of ballet and distance running after college. Zero response to 2 months of Clomid, little response to Letrozole. IUI left with 9 cysts = too many viable eggs due to age. On to IVF. Low dose of all meds still produced 37 mature eggs 12.6.11. Froze due to overstimulation.
FET #1.1 1.22.12 BFN. FET #1.2 2.22.12=GRACE! (and a vanishing twin).
Grace Katherine born 10.25.12 @ 36w6w 6#14oz 19.5".
FET #1.3 3.2013 BFN FET#1.4 4.2013 BFN. Never tried a fresh transfer. Let's try, despite 10 still frozen.
ER 6.26.13 27 mature eggs, slight overstim. ET 7.1.13 ectopic, FET 2.1 9.10.14 TRIPLETS!!
Boys born 3.18.14 @ 29w5d. Andrew Jack 3#6oz 16", Grant Robert 3#9oz 16", Charles Phillip 3#7oz 17".
No periods due to 17 years of ballet and distance running after college. Zero response to 2 months of Clomid, little response to Letrozole. IUI left with 9 cysts = too many viable eggs due to age. On to IVF. Low dose of all meds still produced 37 mature eggs 12.6.11. Froze due to overstimulation.
FET #1.1 1.22.12 BFN. FET #1.2 2.22.12=GRACE! (and a vanishing twin).
Grace Katherine born 10.25.12 @ 36w6w 6#14oz 19.5".
FET #1.3 3.2013 BFN FET#1.4 4.2013 BFN. Never tried a fresh transfer. Let's try, despite 10 still frozen.
ER 6.26.13 27 mature eggs, slight overstim. ET 7.1.13 ectopic, FET 2.1 9.10.14 TRIPLETS!!
Boys born 3.18.14 @ 29w5d. Andrew Jack 3#6oz 16", Grant Robert 3#9oz 16", Charles Phillip 3#7oz 17".
No periods due to 17 years of ballet and distance running after college. Zero response to 2 months of Clomid, little response to Letrozole. IUI left with 9 cysts = too many viable eggs due to age. On to IVF. Low dose of all meds still produced 37 mature eggs 12.6.11. Froze due to overstimulation.
FET #1.1 1.22.12 BFN. FET #1.2 2.22.12=GRACE! (and a vanishing twin).
Grace Katherine born 10.25.12 @ 36w6w 6#14oz 19.5".
FET #1.3 3.2013 BFN FET#1.4 4.2013 BFN. Never tried a fresh transfer. Let's try, despite 10 still frozen.
ER 6.26.13 27 mature eggs, slight overstim. ET 7.1.13 ectopic, FET 2.1 9.10.14 TRIPLETS!!
Boys born 3.18.14 @ 29w5d. Andrew Jack 3#6oz 16", Grant Robert 3#9oz 16", Charles Phillip 3#7oz 17".
No periods due to 17 years of ballet and distance running after college. Zero response to 2 months of Clomid, little response to Letrozole. IUI left with 9 cysts = too many viable eggs due to age. On to IVF. Low dose of all meds still produced 37 mature eggs 12.6.11. Froze due to overstimulation.
FET #1.1 1.22.12 BFN. FET #1.2 2.22.12=GRACE! (and a vanishing twin).
Grace Katherine born 10.25.12 @ 36w6w 6#14oz 19.5".
FET #1.3 3.2013 BFN FET#1.4 4.2013 BFN. Never tried a fresh transfer. Let's try, despite 10 still frozen.
ER 6.26.13 27 mature eggs, slight overstim. ET 7.1.13 ectopic, FET 2.1 9.10.14 TRIPLETS!!
Boys born 3.18.14 @ 29w5d. Andrew Jack 3#6oz 16", Grant Robert 3#9oz 16", Charles Phillip 3#7oz 17".
BFP#1: 11/20/11, EDD 7/25/12, Emily Iris arrived 7/29/12 at 7 lb., 3.5 oz.
BFP#2: 8/25/13, EDD 5/4/14, MMC confirmed on 9/23/13, D&C on 9/26/13
BFP#3: 2/3/14, EDD 10/15/14, fraternal TWINS confirmed 2/21/14, two BOYS confirmed on 4/15/14!