.

byrne15 · July 2014

My situation was different (I was 23) but also not married. My family is very strict and traditional and I knew it was going to be difficult for them to hear.

One day I picked my mom up to bring her to lunch and literally said, "I'm pregnant" before we even pulled out of the driveway. She didn't say anything except, "well you probably won't finish school now".

Eventually she became more excited about having a grandchild and now she loves the both of them tons. And p.s. I did finish school :-)

CandEChicago · July 2014

FirstTimeMommy1219 said:

Okay. Bye.

@FirstTimeMommy1219 - if you are leaving then let me give you a final heads up.... do not delete your original post, delete the title of the thread, or rename the thread.

That will bring more attention and advice to your post.

That said, I hope you call your parents tonight (they deserve more than a note) and you get yourself some medical care ASAP.

desireeariel · July 2014

Am I going to have to retract sympathy AGAIN this week?? Tough love better then no love girl. At the end of the day the only support you have is this forum, because we are the only ones that know. I made the mistake of being too defensive here too and the best thing you can do is ignore something you do not like rather then return fire.

leoandethansmom · July 2014

gradschoolmom1234 said:

Okay. Bye.
@gradschoolmom1234‌ - You meanie! How dare you.
I know, I'm the worst!!

How dare you provide sound, mature advice for a young girl asking for it? You are terrible!!!!!!!!

desireeariel · July 2014

@candechicago you didn't QFP!!!! sleeping on the job!

CandEChicago · July 2014

desireeariel said:
@candechicago you didn't QFP!!!! sleeping on the job!

Pretty sure I did but page 1 is not coming up for me. I think someone also did a QFP as well.

desireeariel · July 2014

CandEChicago said:

@candechicago you didn't QFP!!!! sleeping on the job!
Pretty sure I did but page 1 is not coming up for me. I think someone also did a QFP as well.

It won't let me see page 1 either

CandEChicago · July 2014

CandEChicago said:

FirstTimeMommy1219 said:

Okay. Bye.
@FirstTimeMommy1219 - if you are leaving then let me give you a final heads up.... do not delete your original post, delete the title of the thread, or rename the thread.

That will bring more attention and advice to your post.

That said, I hope you call your parents tonight (they deserve more than a note) and you get yourself some medical care ASAP.

Good lord...why do the newbies seem not want my advice against dirty deleting?

Sweetsix06 · July 2014

Didn't CandEChicago just tell her not to change the title of her post?!? This "young girl" clearly has an issue with taking advice from others.

I read through this thread and didn't want to comment, because you ladies gave fantastic advice. But like my Mom always says, you can't help those who don't want to be helped.

BrideLinds · July 2014

How did the whole first page get deleted?

CandEChicago · July 2014

CandEChicago said:

FirstTimeMommy1219 said:
Hi everyone. I'm a young girl (20) who is pregnant with my first child. I have a few issues.

First, I haven't told anyone except the father about my pregnancy, but we aren't together so he isn't much help. I haven't told my parents because I'm really afraid that they'll be upset with me.

Second, I haven't been to the doctor yet so idk how the baby is doing at all. I assume that I'm around 17 or 18 weeks along.

I'm secretly very excited about this baby, but like I said I haven't told anyone so I don't really have any support.

I just want to know if any of you mothers or first time mothers haven any advice for me.

Thank You.

QFP - for those who are having issues with page 1

FirstTimeMommy1219 · July 2014

You women are really ridiculous

CandEChicago · July 2014

FirstTimeMommy1219 said:
You women are really ridiculous

Just another FYI - this won't go over well either. I thought your said "goodbye" earlier.

desireeariel · July 2014

FirstTimeMommy1219 said:

You women are really ridiculous

Only 1 person gave you negative advice. After that it was people swooping in to defend a fellow Bumpie. Just acknowledge you screwed up so that this can pass.

Edit: only 1 person gave you advice you didn't like oops.

FirstTimeMommy1219 · July 2014

I don't feel like I screwed up. I'm doing what I can with what I have. I've applied for medicaid and other services, but I'm just waiting to hear back.

ColeyCannoli · July 2014

@gradschoolmom1234 once again steals my heart.

I know you are gone OP, but I'll say it anyway - I worked at a free clinic for people just like you and those far younger. I have been blown away by the resilience of young (even teen) moms who step up and become amazing parents. You know what the biggest difference between them and the moms who can't handle it? They own it. From day one, they see the writing on the wall. They know they have a choice and they know they need help. They come in early and they talk to the doctors and the nurses even if they can't talk to their parents or guardians. They know this is a very big deal. Some are in far more dangerous and scary situations then what you are in right now but they face it head on and put their baby ahead of every other concern. And trust me, age has little to do with this. I've seen 30-year-old parents who can't own up to the changes in their lives and end up hurting their children because of it.

You need to grow up and fast. And you need to consider if raising the child yourself is really what is in the best interest of the child. The end goal is not a baby but a healthy, stable adult. That will require at least 18 years of hard work on your part to accomplish. Babies are cute and fun and show lots of love to their moms - but they don't last long. Soon you'll have a rambunctious toddler who breaks things, a school age child that doesn't want to do their homework, a teen who talks back and gets in trouble and an adult who needs you to help guide and provide for their own life choices. You need to think about all of this and more. What if your baby has a medical need that will require extra care or therapy? What if he or she is autistic or has Downs? Spina bifida or CF? Right now, you don't even know if he/she is growing properly. If you aren't mature enough to handle setting up your own doctor's appointment by now, do you really think you'll be able to handle the care and cost of another human life? There are people out there who will help but first you gotta get your ass in gear.

And don't take this as hate. Even the meanies on here are only trying to kick you in the pants to get up and get on with it. No one wants to see you hurt or your baby in trouble. We know it's hard but we also know you can do this.

littleboyermoose · July 2014

I just want you to know-- and I know this has been mentioned before-- that a friend of mine hid her pregnancy and did not get prenatal care. Upon the birth of her child, child protective services were called and her baby girl was almost taken from her. She was allowed to keep her on the condition that she lived with her parents for a couple of years. You can't use the excuse that you don't have insurance. The courts will have no sympathy. Make the appointment (planned parenthood?) and worry about payment later.

CandEChicago · July 2014

FirstTimeMommy1219 said:
I don't feel like I screwed up. I'm doing what I can with what I have. I've applied for medicaid and other services, but I'm just waiting to hear back.

Good glad that you are taking a responsible step to get medical coverage. Now call your parents. Mine would have been more pissed that I didn't tell them earlier.

Fossegirl1228 · July 2014

FirstTimeMommy1219 said:

You women are really ridiculous

Except you came to us for advice. If you don't want to hear the truth don't ask, problem solved.

MaineMama · July 2014

FirstTimeMommy1219 said:

I don't feel like I screwed up. I'm doing what I can with what I have. I've applied for medicaid and other services, but I'm just waiting to hear back.

I'm not touching your other questions/responses- unfortunately eggs mature before people do.

HOWEVER- In most states Medicaid pays retroactively for appointments related to pregnancy. Do your poor baby a favor and go see a doctor.

FirstTimeMommy1219 · July 2014

I apologize to you ladies if I came off as immature or whatever I don't mean it. I would just like to clear some things up.

I don't attend a "university". I go to Job Corps. They don't provide you with anything except a pee stick pregnancy test and prenatal vitamins (which is where I got mine from). So there's that.

I have applied for medicaid.

I literally found out 2 and a half weeks ago that I am expecting. So it's not like I've just been putting this off. I've always had irregular periods since the age of 10. So when I missed my period in april and june I didn't think too much of it (I did have one in may). I only took a pregnancy test because I stared getting really bad morning sickness the beginning of this month. And I assume I'm 17 or 18 weeks because I did the math from the last time I've had sex.

I am going to use my parents insurance to make a doctor's appointment tomorrow for sometime hopefully next week. I didn't want to do that because I didn't want them to see the prenatal care on the bill, but I realize I don't have a lot of time.

I am not immature and I didn't appreciate how I got called that. However, all of you did give me good advice and I appreciate it. I do.

So if you could take these things into consideration before you form your opinion I would appreciate it.

Thank You.

CandEChicago · July 2014

FirstTimeMommy1219 said:

I apologize to you ladies if I came off as immature or whatever I don't mean it. I would just like to clear some things up.

I don't attend a "university". I go to Job Corps. They don't provide you with anything except a pee stick pregnancy test and prenatal vitamins (which is where I got mine from). So there's that.

I have applied for medicaid.

I literally found out 2 and a half weeks ago that I am expecting. So it's not like I've just been putting this off. I've always had irregular periods since the age of 10. So when I missed my period in april and june I didn't think too much of it (I did have one in may). I only took a pregnancy test because I stared getting really bad morning sickness the beginning of this month. And I assume I'm 17 or 18 weeks because I did the math from the last time I've had sex.

I am going to use my parents insurance to make a doctor's appointment tomorrow for sometime hopefully next week. I didn't want to do that because I didn't want them to see the prenatal care on the bill, but I realize I don't have a lot of time.

I am not immature and I didn't appreciate how I got called that. However, all of you did give me good advice and I appreciate it. I do.

So if you could take these things into consideration before you form your opinion I would appreciate it.

Thank You.

Your apology is a good start. Glad you are using your parent's health insurance to get to a doctor. Not knowing the details for family background, I would still recommend that you call and talk to them. I would see a phone call as more respectful and mature than simply a note.

FirstTimeMommy1219 · July 2014

CandEChicago said:
Your apology is a good start. Glad you are using your parent's health insurance to get to a doctor. Not knowing the details for family background, I would still recommend that you call and talk to them. I would see a phone call as more respectful and mature than simply a note.

I plan on telling them face to face when I at least have the first doctor's appointment scheduled as some of the ladies suggested.

LaxMOM44 · July 2014

Honestly I don't know your parents but if you get all your information organized and how them how responsible you can be and how you have worked out how you will care for this child, they will be a lot more comfortable with your decisions. Ultimately parents just want their child to be safe and taken care of and if you can prove to them that you will be ok I think that will go a long way.

Good luck.

GradSchoolPrincess · July 2014

Job Corp def has free counseling with psychologists for support. Good luck with all the big changes

ColeyCannoli · July 2014

You got this! Keep us updated on how you and your LO are doing.

Eora3 · July 2014

I like your plan. It sounds like you are moving in the right direction.

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