TTCAL check in

shandorfml2 · July 2014

Welcome to TTCAL CheckIn!

I hope I can find you all well and positive this week! Please don't be shy in asking the PGAL/PAL ladies questions if you have them.

Where are you in your TTCAL journey?

Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming?

QOTW: If you had to choose one word to describe TTCAL what would it be?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

shandorfml2 · July 2014

Where are you in your TTCAL journey? cd 6

Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming? yep, July 21st meeting with my OB who delivered Ana. It's our "we've been trying for a year, now what" appointment. I'm ovulating with the metformin, so not sure if she would consider medication. We'll see. I'm pretty nervous.

QOTW: If you had to choose one word to describe TTCAL what would it be? Complicated

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Not getting KU this month was hard. Now I will have to go through her second birthday without a baby in my arms. Totally sucks. I hope it happens soon, I am running out of hope

kflynn81 · July 2014

Where are you in your TTCAL journey? Prepping for a FET on Friday...countdown has begun

Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming? I have an estrogen/progesterone check on Wednesday and my FET is on Friday. Weird to think next week this time I'll be staring down my stash of FRER/Wondfos

QOTW: If you had to choose one word to describe TTCAL what would it be? Just one? Hmmm... I'll go with daunting

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Lots... I'm worried this FET won't work. I'm also worried it will, which is something I never thought in my IF journey I'd be afraid of but I am now

shandorfml2 · July 2014

@kflynn81 keep us updating...I'll be sending positive, sticky thoughts!!

stefuge · July 2014

@kflynn81‌ - GL next week! Let us know how it goes!

shandorfml2 · July 2014

@ashtog‌ thank you, and I hope you do soon as well!

MeNV · July 2014

@shandorfml2 - Sending hugs your way. I hope that the doctor comes up with a plan you're happy with.

@kflynn8 - Good luck! Keep us posted!

Where are you in your TTCAL journey?
We are just finishing up our first cycle. I think I'm 7 dpo but I had positive opks for a week so I'm counting on this one being out. Hormones are all still wonky.

Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming?

Nope. I said it last week, but I'm avoiding the RE. I know it's stupid, but it just brings back bad memories. I have to get over it.

QOTW: If you had to choose one word to describe TTCAL what would it be?
Awful.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

It's the three month anniversary of my Frannie's birth this week. I'm so freaking depressed. I was up all night crying watching her pictures repeat on a slideshow. I'm sad that people are pretty much expecting me to be over it already. I'll never, ever be truly "over it" so I hope my family especially can accept that. I'm worried that if I ever have another baby that will cement their feeling that I should put Frannie behind me. I'm scared that if something happens with a future pregnancy people will blame me. That I will blame me.

angelsnight · July 2014

shandorfml2 said:

Where are you in your TTCAL journey? cd 6

Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming? yep, July 21st meeting with my OB who delivered Ana. It's our "we've been trying for a year, now what" appointment. I'm ovulating with the metformin, so not sure if she would consider medication. We'll see. I'm pretty nervous.

QOTW: If you had to choose one word to describe TTCAL what would it be? Complicated

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Not getting KU this month was hard. Now I will have to go through her second birthday without a baby in my arms. Totally sucks. I hope it happens soon, I am running out of hope

Ticker warning

@shandorfml2 I'm so sorry you're feeling hopeless. You guys are always in my thoughts and prayers for a rainbow! Good luck with your appt.

bunnybun4 · July 2014

Hi ladies...big ((hugs)) to everyone this week.

where are you in your ttcal journey? cd 29- this cycle has already been declared a bust due to cysts...just waiting on AF

any relevant appts upcoming? US on cd 3 (whenever that may be) to make sure cysts are gone

QOTW: torture. can i add 2 more? not fair.

what's on your mind this week? not too much...I've gotten over the initial freak out of having the cysts. it's been kind of nice to sort of be on a "treatment" break the past week. I've been drinking lots of caffiene and alcohol. I'm trying to stay cool and calm but just hoping the anger and sadness and frustration stay at bay.

fx @kflynn81!!!

((hugs)) @shandormfl

mumel16 · July 2014

Where are you in your TTCAL journey? cycle 2, cd 15

Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming? Not about TTC. Have an appointment with Lincoln's liver doctor to go over autopsy results on Thursday and I'm really nervous that they found out what happened to him and it's something I did.

QOTW: If you had to choose one word to describe TTCAL what would it be? conflicted

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? conflicted I want another baby, but I'm so afraid that I won't love that baby as much as I love Lincoln. Lincoln was pretty awesome, what if his little brother or sister isn't as awesome??

shandorfml2 · July 2014

@ashtog‌ wow cd 9 is early. I hope this cycle is it honey!!

shandorfml2 · July 2014

@mumel16‌ i am sure Lincoln's sibling will be just as awesome!!

stefuge · July 2014

****DS1 mentioned****

@mumel16‌ -I've been wanting to comment on what you said about loving Lincoln's sibling as much as you love him, but didn't right away because I wasn't sure how to answer, but here goes... We have two boys, one here with us and one in Heaven. I love both of my boys so so much. I never got to meet Colton outside of the womb, but it doesn't matter. My love for him is just as strong as my love for my first son. I show them love differently and parent them differently, I don't really have a choice about that, but my love for both is overwhelming. I have no doubt that you will love Lincoln's sibling just as much as you love him. We are planning to start trying for a third child soon, and I have noticed recently how much I want another baby. Not a baby to replace Colton, but a new little person to know and love and hopefully get to raise. And even though I'm not pregnant, I can already feel that love starting. I desperately wish I could have Colton back, but I also equally wish for a new little one. They say that a parents love doesn't divide, but multiples, and that is exactly how I would describe it. I felt very similar to what you describe when I was pregnant with Colton - how could I possibly love him as much as I love DS1? - but I do, absolutely. I hope this encourages you.

Mel&John2013 · July 2014

Thank you everyone, your reassurance about another baby helps.

@shandorfml2, thanks

@aragosta I know everyone worries about this, but I have had friends admit they kind of have a "favorite" child. They love them all of course, but still have one they kind of favor. But I kind of already love the baby who isn't here and that Lincoln picked for us, so I have hope.

@stefuge That helps a lot, thank you. Hearing it from someone who has been through it and knows the feelings helps.

shandorfml2 · July 2014

hmm, that is odd. Not sure...is it full on CD 1 or just could be spotting?

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