Q for High Risk Mammas

sugarstar1784 · July 2014

I'm high risk, to the point where they are still 50/50 if LO is going to make it. I'm currently 19 weeks, and this will be our first. I was very hesitant to buy anything for baby at first, but now I'm pretty much in "Freak out" mode because I don't have anything ready for baby. I'm expecting to be pre-term. I'm also expecting to be bed-rest at 24 weeks. I don't want to be picking stuff out that I can't look at in person, while on hospital bed rest. My SO is constantly telling me, "We have plenty of time. You won't be on bedrest. We're not going to have a premie". *sigh*

My "MIL" for lack of a better term, just bought us a glider thing. And I know I will be devastated if baby doesn't make it, and we have this glider hanging out at the house. We don't even have any essentials, and we have this glider waiting for us. On top of that, we aren't having a baby shower, and we only have 1 income bc of losing my job bc of preg. complications. *sigh*

I just wondered how everyone else is handling this whole buying stuff for baby phase that others are going through.

Amelia4 · July 2014

That sounds very rough; I'm sorry you are having to go through this. Can your "MIL" keep the glider at her house and only bring it to yours when you bring baby home? Otherwise, I'll let you know that looking at things in the store is overrated. Join Amazon Mom and do hospital bed shopping if needed. If it arrives and you don't like it, you have a year to send it back (double check that time though, that's what it was 3 years ago.)

[Deleted User] · July 2014

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sugarstar1784 · July 2014

Amelia4 said:

That sounds very rough; I'm sorry you are having to go through this. Can your "MIL" keep the glider at her house and only bring it to yours when you bring baby home? Otherwise, I'll let you know that looking at things in the store is overrated. Join Amazon Mom and do hospital bed shopping if needed. If it arrives and you don't like it, you have a year to send it back (double check that time though, that's what it was 3 years ago.)

I would but they are smokers ... and they don't have much space at all.

And thank you. It does suck. Not having any extra money means I can't just buy stuff and not have that money available if needed.

sugarstar1784 · July 2014

PugLife5869 said:

I'm sorry you are having a tough time right now. You are in a very tough situation. I had a similar but less severe situation with my last pregnancy. I had a complication at 25 weeks and when I was released from the hospital a week later there was talk of "lets make it to 28 weeks and see where we go". I of course freaked out that I didn't have anything ready. My awesome doctor reminded me that if I were to have a baby at 28 weeks I wouldn't need anything because it would be some time before the baby would get to go home. I know that isn't the most positive way to look at it but it is a practical way. It gave me a little relief and the more I learned about NICU time the more I realized that I would have time to get the essentials.

Another thing you could do is go to the stores you want and start a registry. Then you can scan all the things you like and when the baby gets here you can send someone to buy that exact stuff off of your registry. I know this is scary and you probably feel like you have no control but I understand not wanting to come home to a lot of baby stuff if you LO doesn't make it.

The first couple of weeks you really only need a car seat, somewhere for baby to sleep, some onesies/sleepers, blankets, and diapers. Those are all things that you could send someone to pick up and then when you are feeling up to it you could get out and do some other shopping.

wow... I didn't think about all that! Thank you, very much. I am crying tears of relief....

Thank you

beachy6 · July 2014

I don't have any new advice on top of what has been given, but I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. Sending thoughts and prayers to you and your LO.

vlevitt · July 2014

OP, i can't imagine what you're going through. The pregnancy stuff alone must be an awful burden, plus the financial worries must make it worse. it's not clear why you're not having a baby shower (i'm guessing you don't want to celebrate "just in case"), but i wanted to let you know that there is no rule that says you have to have the shower BEFORE baby is born. in our tradition (we're Jewish), there is a superstition against acquiring baby stuff and/or celebrating the baby before it has been born. we had our baby shower after baby was born and styled it as a "meet and welcome the baby" party. people brought gifts and it was a wonderful way for our friends and family to meet him all at once. you could consider doing the same. it could be a great way to celebrate this new life and all the hurdles you had to clear in order to get there.

caden1206 · July 2014

I am sorry you have this additional stress and I really hope and pray your baby makes it. For now I would try to enjoy your pregnancy and just take it day by day. If you see something you like get it. As of right now you still have a baby to plan for. Don't rob yourself of the fun Just yet. I think it might be nice to keep these items elsewhere in the event things don't go as planned. Try to stay positive.

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