Anyone else have a very impulsive kid?

Keeptruckin · July 2014

We just returned from the park. A new one we had not been to before. My daughter slide down the climbing wall. she thought it was a slide. It had all these knobs, it looks nothing like a slide. Her legs are going to be black and blue. Of course, it scared the crap out of her and she was hysterical after. My kid just doesn't think, she is so impulsive. She also jumps from opening in the playground if she can't figure out how to get down. She has been assessed for ADHD, the doctor thinks she is too young. She is 6. The impulsiveness is killing me. I worry all the time. Anyone have child that out grew this sort of thing? Ugh, I iced her legs and put some cream on all the scrapes. Now I need wine!

notreallyirish · July 2014

Is she impatient with other things like waiting her turn, waiting until dinner time, when you tell her 'just a minute '?
Is it just that she has little regard for her own safety or does she not like to wait ever?

kcisthebombdotcom · July 2014

Who assessed her for ADHD? Was it a developmental pedi? You may want to ask this on the special needs board. Many posters are dealing with similar issues and may have suggestions to help.

Keeptruckin · July 2014

Her vision has been tested, she has perfect eye sight. She isn't impatient, more impulsive. For example, she is the kid who would dart in front of a car to get a ball, etc. we saw a developmental pedi for the ADHD and we also asked her to be screened for autism. No risk for either we were told. No concerns at school, except she is a little rigid and independent. I am at a loss. I feel like every day she does something that makes my instinct say, nope, it's not right. Almost all of it comes down to safety. It's possible she has very little common sense. That's my husband lol! He is a research scientist but zero common sense. He also has ADD Inattentive type. My concerns are her zero impulse control. I think I need to get a second opinion from a new doctor. Thanks, I will post on the special needs board too!

MesmrEwe · July 2014

Definitely what KCIS said!!! You've got to start somewhere. Above all else, TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!!!!!! You are with your daughter 24/7 and observe her with her peers to know "hey, something's not right here!", and I only wish when DD was 6 I'd have started this process to figure out just exactly what's going on but more importantly, how do we get her behaviors to improve.

We just had DD take the Woodcock-Johnson III test recently - it gave us a good indicator of our starting point for getting some of these issues "nipped in the bud" as they say. It's one of the better valid and reliable tests out there when it comes to evaluating kids strengths and weaknesses (confirmed this with some of my psych profs from college). DD is also super impulsive for who knows what reason, but she's also SUPER intelligent! There are some areas where she was testing five years ahead, which makes those areas where she's deficient in stand out all the more. Whether you have a label for the behaviors or not, the treatment is the same, focus on that aspect. I'd recommend a different developmental ped because it could be any number of issues - SPD, ADD, ASD (high functioning), ADHD, etc., it sounds like they weren't willing to dig to figure out the puzzle, find someone who will!!!

Keeptruckin · July 2014

It isn't just the climbing wall. It's other safety things but I agree, she could just be very impulsive. And the climbing wall is wood with large knobs. She knew it wasn't a slide. She said after she though someone had taken a screwdriver or pliers and removed the knobs before she slide down lol. That is the language she used. Heaven knows why she would think that lol, but those types of things were what made us kind of wonder. I know kids say odd things, but we still wondered.

Keeptruckin · July 2014

Another example is we have to be helicopter parents around swings. No matter how many times she has been kicked in the head, she runs right in front. She has been kicked about 20 times. After I push her on the swing, I have to physically walk her around the swings. I always say, look, see how far they are swinging. See, they can reach you, we need to move away. It's been years of that, still doesn't set in. Same with the monkey bars. Every time she hops over the railing to stand right where some kid is swinging by and gets kicked a lot. I know she is only 6 but I feel like a bad parent every time it miss it. Does anyone else's 6 year olds do this? Next year she will be in grade one, with regular recess. Ack, makes me nervous lol!

kcisthebombdotcom · July 2014

auroraloo said:

I'm not discounting that there might be something wrong, but based on the limited examples here it's kind of an insane jump to a developmental pedi, IMO.

Uh, not really. If she said this single story and asked if should be she concerned, that's one thing. She's shared that her dh has ADHD, her kid struggles with impulsiveness and she has to worry about safety issues all the time, not just a single isolated incident where she made an impulsive choice. Generally mothers intuition is spot on so if her gut is telling her something is up a second opinion is warranted IMO. I've also never seen a kid slide down a rock wall. The ones at the toddler parks that are at an incline, sure. The vertical ones on bigger kids equipment? Never.

Keeptruckin · July 2014

Don't worry, I asked for advice and I understand every person's own experience contributes to their own advice. I think a second opinion is warranted, I just feel like ADHD fits and I see more issues as she gets older, not less. If it was just impulsiveness I feel it should be getting better, not more worrisome. But I also know each kid is unique and not every personality trait needs a label or diagnosis. We have done the concrete rules and in the home it works great. At school, it worked great for preschool and kindy. So that is good! Thanks for the advice.

outnumbered · July 2014

Keeptruckin said:

Don't worry, I asked for advice and I understand every person's own experience contributes to their own advice. I think a second opinion is warranted, I just feel like ADHD fits and I see more issues as she gets older, not less. If it was just impulsiveness I feel it should be getting better, not more worrisome. But I also know each kid is unique and not every personality trait needs a label or diagnosis. We have done the concrete rules and in the home it works great. At school, it worked great for preschool and kindy. So that is good! Thanks for the advice.

I can understand your anxiety. It seems like you have been worried about different behaviors for a while and this incident brought it into greater focus. It might be just one story that you relate on here, but it does not represent the full story. Good luck with everything. FWIW I have never seen a child slide down a rock wall.

orangegoggles · July 2014

Just curious, how does she do with gross motor activities. You said she was impulsive but for the most part can she climb, keep her balance, throw a ball, does she have depth perception, etc.? No real advice but I'd just discuss your concerns with her teacher next year so they can be on the look out for things that you mentioned and also will be able to share any concerns they might have. Best of luck with everything!

kcisthebombdotcom · July 2014

auroraloo said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

auroraloo said:

I'm not discounting that there might be something wrong, but based on the limited examples here it's kind of an insane jump to a developmental pedi, IMO.

Uh, not really. If she said this single story and asked if should be she concerned, that's one thing. She's shared that her dh has ADHD, her kid struggles with impulsiveness and she has to worry about safety issues all the time, not just a single isolated incident where she made an impulsive choice. Generally mothers intuition is spot on so if her gut is telling her something is up a second opinion is warranted IMO. I've also never seen a kid slide down a rock wall. The ones at the toddler parks that are at an incline, sure. The vertical ones on bigger kids equipment? Never.

Ok. BUT, I went to the SN board to see what people there said about it and before the end of the post people had basically said your daughter has ADHD, Asperger's, ASD, and childhood onset bi-polar (WTAF?) based on a internet post. Come on.

@-) Saying a behavior is associated with other things besides ADHD is a far cry from saying obvs your kid has schizophrenia!!!11!!! I didn't see anything besides telling her a second opinion is warranted and that her child was old enough for a dx. Pointing out something isn't developmentally appropriate and warrants a look over from someone with knowledge beyond a pedi isn't armchair diagnosing.

notkateanymore · July 2014

KC MD!

kcisthebombdotcom · July 2014

notkateanymore said:

KC MD!

Funny enough, at my last pedi visit my kids doctor asked me to educate her on autism along with local resources since she admitted she gave me shitty info and wanted to do better for her patients in the future. KC MD FTW!

kcisthebombdotcom · July 2014

auroraloo said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

notkateanymore said:

KC MD!

Funny enough, at my last pedi visit my kids doctor asked me to educate her on autism along with local resources since she admitted she gave me shitty info and wanted to do better for her patients in the future. KC MD FTW!

KC YOU NEED A NEW PEDI.

Nope, she's smart enough to know moms intuition is usually right.

kcisthebombdotcom · July 2014

diapersnwipes said:

=; If my pedi asked me to inform her I would be out do fast

A shitty pedi would pretend they know everything about everything, pat your head and tell you everything's fine. A good one will acknowledge they aren't experts on every single thing and get you in with the people that are.

kcisthebombdotcom · July 2014

amy052006 said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

diapersnwipes said:

=; If my pedi asked me to inform her I would be out do fast

A shitty pedi would pretend they know everything about everything, pat your head and tell you everything's fine. A good one will acknowledge they aren't experts on every single thing and get you in with the people that are.

Well, let's not rewrite history here. That is EXACTLY what you said your pedi did.

Nope. My pedi said she didn't think my dd was on the spectrum but in her experience there's something to be said about mothers intuition, personally called the head diagnostician in my state and made a 6-12 month wait to be seen a two month wait. She's a good doctor because she did that. If she dismissed me and said everything's fine, let's wait and see...now that's a sucky dr.

kcisthebombdotcom · July 2014

CnAmom said:

We have a very good pedi. She admitted that she wasn't 100% on ASD and referred us to someone who was. I would have looked at her like she was fifty shades of crazy if SHE asked ME to educate HER.

This wasn't when I initially saw her with my concerns about autism. This was after I told her about all the classes and training I've taken. Dd is literally the first preschool age girl that isn't profoundly autistic she's ever seen so unless a kid has more classic symptoms of autism, she didn't know. Girls are generally under diagnosed because outside of more severe cases of autism they present much differently than boys.

kcisthebombdotcom · July 2014

diapersnwipes said:

Usm123 said:

We have a very good pedi. She admitted that she wasn't 100% on ASD and referred us to someone who was. I would have looked at her like she was fifty shades of crazy if SHE asked ME to educate HER.
I think it's good if drs get a real-life explaination and different presentations. DS2's pulmonologist was not at all familiar with his incredibly rare heart disease that directly effects his lungs. Rather than ask me and research, he only researched. The odds are not good and the only "cure" is a lung transplant. I know this but DS2's presentation is atypical and if he asked I could have explained that. Instead he walked in told me the research and said "sometimes miracles happen." I changed pulmnos so fast it made his head spin. I have come to appreciate drs that say, I don't know. What is your experience? And then done research on their own.

I get what you are saying, but I would still burn out of any doctor's office if I was asked to educate them on a disorder. Asking my experience is one thing, asking how my kid presents a certain behaviors is another, saying I need to research this more before I can give an answer is great. But flat out asking me to educate them about a disorder?!? Heck no. I'm gone.

I guarantee a well educated parent who has a dog in the fight prob is a better education than anything they could ever read.

LoveBeingMama · July 2014

Asking a parent to help educate them on a very rare disorder is also much different from asking a parent to educate them on something as common as ASD.

kcisthebombdotcom · July 2014

diapersnwipes said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

diapersnwipes said:

Usm123 said:

We have a very good pedi. She admitted that she wasn't 100% on ASD and referred us to someone who was. I would have looked at her like she was fifty shades of crazy if SHE asked ME to educate HER.
I think it's good if drs get a real-life explaination and different presentations. DS2's pulmonologist was not at all familiar with his incredibly rare heart disease that directly effects his lungs. Rather than ask me and research, he only researched. The odds are not good and the only "cure" is a lung transplant. I know this but DS2's presentation is atypical and if he asked I could have explained that. Instead he walked in told me the research and said "sometimes miracles happen." I changed pulmnos so fast it made his head spin. I have come to appreciate drs that say, I don't know. What is your experience? And then done research on their own.

I get what you are saying, but I would still burn out of any doctor's office if I was asked to educate them on a disorder. Asking my experience is one thing, asking how my kid presents a certain behaviors is another, saying I need to research this more before I can give an answer is great. But flat out asking me to educate them about a disorder?!? Heck no. I'm gone.

I guarantee a well educated parent who has a dog in the fight prob is a better education than anything they could ever read.

Maybe. Or maybe the parent is a know it all that gets all of her information from thebump. Who knows? The doctor should still be doing his own research. Real research.

Asking a parent doesn't mean she's throwing up her hands and saying "great, guess I don't have to do research anymore!" You know who is the head of the autism society in my area who does training for healthcare professionals? Give you a hint-not a person with a phd in medicine. It's a mom who has a child with autism who previously ran a small business.

Andrewsgal · July 2014

I would run not walk from a dr that didn't take it upon herself to become more educated by reputable resources about something as common as autism. It autism FFS. Asking a parent to educate you is lazy and honestly unbelievable.

kcisthebombdotcom · July 2014

LoveBeingMama said:

Asking a parent to help educate them on a very rare disorder is also much different from asking a parent to educate them on something as common as ASD.

High functioning girls with autism my DDs age are actually rare. My dd is actually the first case my developmental pedi who works in a children's hospital, has thirty years experience and is the top diagnostician in my area has ever seen. Autism isn't just the kid rocking in the corner staring at wheels spinning for hours. The diagnostic criteria has changed in the past year alone and the face of autism is changing as more kids receive diagnoses.

LoveBeingMama · July 2014

I think I'm hung up on the word "educate," too. If your doctor had said "Your child's condition is rare, I have little experience with it and would like to know more. Tell me about your experience and the research you've done," I'd say you have a caring, interested, and realistic doctor. I'd also expect that he or she would follow up with their own research on the topic. But from the way the original statement was worded, it sounded more like "I usually give shitty information to people about this so please tell me what I should say instead."

KC, I don't think your pedi is bad or wrong, but it depends on how she approached you about it, and how she addressed it in later appointments.

notkateanymore · July 2014

kcisthebombdotcom said:

LoveBeingMama said:

Asking a parent to help educate them on a very rare disorder is also much different from asking a parent to educate them on something as common as ASD.

High functioning girls with autism my DDs age are actually rare. My dd is actually the first case my developmental pedi who works in a children's hospital, has thirty years experience and is the top diagnostician in my area has ever seen. Autism isn't just the kid rocking in the corner staring at wheels spinning for hours. The diagnostic criteria has changed in the past year alone and the face of autism is changing as more kids receive diagnoses.

So who did you finally get to tell you that your DD had autism, if not the pedi?

rosesandpetals · July 2014

NandaB said:

LoveBeingMama said:

Asking a parent to help educate them on a very rare disorder is also much different from asking a parent to educate them on something as common as ASD.

High functioning girls with autism my DDs age are actually rare. My dd is actually the first case my developmental pedi who works in a children's hospital, has thirty years experience and is the top diagnostician in my area has ever seen. Autism isn't just the kid rocking in the corner staring at wheels spinning for hours. The diagnostic criteria has changed in the past year alone and the face of autism is changing as more kids receive diagnoses.
............................................................................................ Oh for fuck sake with this last super condescending part. There are several people in this very post who have personal experience and/or actual educations in special education, particularly ASD. You're not the only person who knows some kids with autism can be higher functioning. Sorry your doctors are not experienced with ASD, but she's not that youneek

Yeah, the latest research shows that autism develops by the second trimester of pregnancy -- it's not something kids develop as they get older. If a girl is high functioning with ASD, she was ALWAYS high functioning with ASD, she was just undiagnosed. It's not rare at all that a girl your DD's age has HF ASD. You're just very lucky to have a dx so early. And your doctor should know that.
Link

kcisthebombdotcom · July 2014

CnAmom said:

Just putting it out there but our pedi learned all kinds of new things just in normal conversation. She would ask me how EI is going. I would tell her something their OT/SLP/PT/whoever said. She would say "Oh! I didn't know that!" Didn't even have to use any form of the word educate.

This is literally how the conversation went. Backstory--brought kid in for sick visit.
Pedi: hi, KC! It's been six months since I've seen you. How has dd been and more importantly how have you been holding up?
KC: thanks, I've been doing well! I have a really awesome support group from x and y. I've also taken classes and trainings through the autism society so I feel well equipped to handle DDs needs. I've read much of tony atwoods work about girls on spectrum and lots of it resonates with me in my own experiences thus far.
Pedi: that's great! I still can't believe dd has autism. I've never seen a child with autism be so social, engaged and imaginative. I'm sorry I didn't give you good information when you first came to me with your concerns and I'm working on learning more about autism and how it presents to help patients in the future. Educate me on what you feel was the most valuable info from x. I've never heard of tony Atwood, can you tell me a little about his research? Also, what local resources would you feel are most helpful for a newly dx parent?
I'm not real sure why she should have pretended to know it all to save face.

kcisthebombdotcom · July 2014

notkateanymore said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

LoveBeingMama said:

Asking a parent to help educate them on a very rare disorder is also much different from asking a parent to educate them on something as common as ASD.

High functioning girls with autism my DDs age are actually rare. My dd is actually the first case my developmental pedi who works in a children's hospital, has thirty years experience and is the top diagnostician in my area has ever seen. Autism isn't just the kid rocking in the corner staring at wheels spinning for hours. The diagnostic criteria has changed in the past year alone and the face of autism is changing as more kids receive diagnoses.

So who did you finally get to tell you that your DD had autism, if not the pedi?

Developmental pedi. Regular old pedis are not qualified to diagnose autism (or any other neurological disorder really). Only developmental pedis and psychiatrists are qualified diagnosticians.

kcisthebombdotcom · July 2014

rosesandpetals said:

NandaB said:

LoveBeingMama said:

Asking a parent to help educate them on a very rare disorder is also much different from asking a parent to educate them on something as common as ASD.

High functioning girls with autism my DDs age are actually rare. My dd is actually the first case my developmental pedi who works in a children's hospital, has thirty years experience and is the top diagnostician in my area has ever seen. Autism isn't just the kid rocking in the corner staring at wheels spinning for hours. The diagnostic criteria has changed in the past year alone and the face of autism is changing as more kids receive diagnoses.
............................................................................................ Oh for fuck sake with this last super condescending part. There are several people in this very post who have personal experience and/or actual educations in special education, particularly ASD. You're not the only person who knows some kids with autism can be higher functioning. Sorry your doctors are not experienced with ASD, but she's not that youneek

Yeah, the latest research shows that autism develops by the second trimester of pregnancy -- it's not something kids develop as they get older. If a girl is high functioning with ASD, she was ALWAYS high functioning with ASD, she was just undiagnosed. It's not rare at all that a girl your DD's age has HF ASD. You're just very lucky to have a dx so early. And your doctor should know that.
Link

Yes, obviously I meant girls who have been identified by that age without classic autism are rare. Like I said earlier the girls who have received dx by DDs age are usually kids with a more classic, profound presentation. Want to know why that is? Because well meaning but uneducated pedis tell parents of girls gee, obviously your kid doesn't have autism because they can do x, y and z then the kid starts struggling hard in 2nd-3rd grade and they say "whoops!"

kcisthebombdotcom · July 2014

scatteredtrees said:

I am just so confused by this. Maybe it's the use of the word "educate" that is throwing me. Well that and the fact that someone suggested the OPs DD possibly had bipolar disorder. I am so sick of the automatic leap to ALL THE DISORDERS when someone posts about a concern.

But again, mentioning that it *can* be a red flag for a disorder=not diagnosing. Really there's two outcomes when a kid has some developmentally atypical behavior. Outcome #1 is the kid outgrows it and is completely neurotypical. Outcome #2 is the kid does not outgrow it and/or the behavior is replaced by another atypical one and the kid is diagnosed with something down the road. Obviously we know kids who are identified and treated early with neurological issues fare better than those who don't (obviously with exceptions of course). Isn't it better that a parent worries for nothing than a parent being falsely reassured their kids behavior is nothing to worry about when the opposite is actually true?

Andrewsgal · July 2014

kcisthebombdotcom said:

CnAmom said:

Just putting it out there but our pedi learned all kinds of new things just in normal conversation. She would ask me how EI is going. I would tell her something their OT/SLP/PT/whoever said. She would say "Oh! I didn't know that!" Didn't even have to use any form of the word educate.

This is literally how the conversation went. Backstory--brought kid in for sick visit.
Pedi: hi, KC! It's been six months since I've seen you. How has dd been and more importantly how have you been holding up?
KC: thanks, I've been doing well! I have a really awesome support group from x and y. I've also taken classes and trainings through the autism society so I feel well equipped to handle DDs needs. I've read much of tony atwoods work about girls on spectrum and lots of it resonates with me in my own experiences thus far.
Pedi: that's great! I still can't believe dd has autism. I've never seen a child with autism be so social, engaged and imaginative. I'm sorry I didn't give you good information when you first came to me with your concerns and I'm working on learning more about autism and how it presents to help patients in the future. Educate me on what you feel was the most valuable info from x. I've never heard of tony Atwood, can you tell me a little about his research? Also, what local resources would you feel are most helpful for a newly dx parent?
I'm not real sure why she should have pretended to know it all to save face.

if that was the exact conversation it sounds like she was stroking your ego. I

bumpuser8448316 · July 2014

Wha red flags did yo notice that screamed autism to you but not your pedi?

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Anyone else have a very impulsive kid?

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