Baby shower

nsin07 · July 2014

So I had my first child 8.5 years ago I had a baby shower 7.5 years ago I had my second child and we thought we were done having kids well, surpise I am pregnant with my 3 and since it's been 7.5 years I had gotten rid of everything baby related is it wrong to have a baby shower again????

Ducktale · July 2014

Why the 4 question marks?

Baby showers should not be used solely for moms to get other people to buy them baby stuff. That's not the point. It's the parents responsibility to buy things for their own baby.

If someone else absolutely insists on throwing you one, that's very nice of them, but totally unnecessary.

Also we just discussed this like two days ago. Page through and find the other threads.

jaztastic · July 2014

We did just discuss this topic a few days ago... but I tend to go with the do what you want answer. In my circle, each baby is a blessing. Friends and family will celebrate your babies and shower each of them. In some circles multiple showers is taboo. Whether you throw it or someone throws it for you, those who are offended will decline, those who are excited will attend.

Ducktale · July 2014

@jaztaz1‌ is right, I do think it's a regional thing to. I side eye it, and have never been to a shower that wasn't for a first baby. But I've heard that's not how it is everywhere.

aggiebug · July 2014

I don't care if you have another shower but I do roll my eyes if the mom to be hosts. That is just gift granny imo.

nsin07 · July 2014

My family want to throw me one but I am not sure how my friends feel about it and it is definitely not all about gifts my any means I want to celebrate with family and friends as well I can go and buy what ever I need for the baby

Izzy0927 · July 2014

I never had a strong opinion on this, but this morning I was reading an article on MarthaStewart.com and she said it's acceptable for women to have showers for multiple children, and I was like, well, Martha knows what's up. I mean, she did wear white to a wedding recently, but it's Martha: she can do WHATEVER she wants.

Ducktale · July 2014

nsin07 said:
My family want to throw me one but I am not sure how my friends feel about it and it is definitely not all about gifts my any means I want to celebrate with family and friends as well I can go and buy what ever I need for the baby

I mean, your OP talks about how you got rid of all baby stuff and therefore you want to know if you can have another, so it sounds like that was the intent.

Ducktale · July 2014

aggiebug said:
I don't care if you have another shower but I do roll my eyes if the mom to be hosts. That is just gift granny imo.

People don't really throw themselves showers....right? RIGHT?

jaztastic · July 2014

Ducktale said:

@jaztaz1‌ is right, I do think it's a regional thing to. I side eye it, and have never been to a shower that wasn't for a first baby. But I've heard that's not how it is everywhere.

I didnt even know it was "bad" until I started using forums like this. I really think its regional (or cultural maybe?). Ive only side eyed 1 friend but that was because it was baby #6. lol At that point it felt like groundhogs day. Nothing wrong with having lots of kids... but I swore I was just at her other shower the weekend before. lol

aggiebug · July 2014

Ducktale said:

aggiebug said:
I don't care if you have another shower but I do roll my eyes if the mom to be hosts. That is just gift granny imo.
People don't really throw themselves showers....right? RIGHT?

It happens and it irks me every time

Also I would like to take time to laugh at my type o in my op. Because that is a good one.

jaztastic · July 2014

@Ducktale‌ so here's what ive seen... Ive seen the shower sponsered by the parents to be, but "hosted" by friend/family memeber.

mandamoochie · July 2014

I hate being the center of attention I would rather pay every penny of every blanket diaper and onesie than throw my own shower. My dh was at both my showers (bridal and baby) with me. Lol hes super extroverted so it worked well.

Ducktale · July 2014

aggiebug said:

Ducktale said:

aggiebug said:
I don't care if you have another shower but I do roll my eyes if the mom to be hosts. That is just gift granny imo.
People don't really throw themselves showers....right? RIGHT?
It happens and it irks me every time

Also I would like to take time to laugh at my type o in my op. Because that is a good one.

lol I thought that was a saying I'd never heard of

easton2131 · July 2014

you can do a baby welcoming party (is it called a sprinkle? idk) to celebrate the baby. I went to one where the girl had her third baby (3 under 3 so she had baby stuff) and people still showered her with gifts. I personally don't think there's anything wrong w multiple showers BC its not all about gifts its to celebrate the baby

Disneygeek77 · July 2014

I believe it's ok if it is very, very small. No where near the size of your other shower. When I say small I mean only your nearest and dearest friends and family.

I also wouldn't register. Its not your friends and family's duty to buy you the big stuff, again.

jaytee16 · July 2014

easton2131 said:

you can do a baby welcoming party (is it called a sprinkle? idk) to celebrate the baby. I went to one where the girl had her third baby (3 under 3 so she had baby stuff) and people still showered her with gifts. I personally don't think there's anything wrong w multiple showers BC its not all about gifts its to celebrate the baby

Well a "shower" is to shower the honouree with gifts, that kind of is the point of a shower (bridal shower, baby shower). I think it's a great idea to have a "come meet the baby" party after baby is born, who doesn't want to come and meet the new baby? And I would bet a lot of people would bring gifts, but that would be their choice, it's not a party devoted to showering them with gifts.

I agree with pretty much everything @Ducktale said.

ordinary1 · July 2014

Second plus showers are tacky in my circle. I am assuming the same is true in your circle too. Otherwise, you wouldn't ask an Internet forum if it's ok or not.

kdhuling · July 2014

My friend hosted a sip and see with her second baby about a month after he was born. I thought that was really cool.
I probably won't have a shower even though I'm a FTM for a couple of reasons. I'll still register and if friends or family feel like buying us stuff great but if not it's fine.

lauren889 · July 2014

I'm jewish. Any1 else on this board jewish??? Challlllahhhh (like Holla, get it?) . In the Jewish religion it is taboo to have any sort of shower or buy anything until after baby is born. My DH is Christian tho so I think my SIL is going to throw me a shower which I am ok with. In Judaism you aren't event supposed to buy furniture or get the room ready till after baby is born.

lizjennings81 · July 2014

@lauren889, my husband was raised Jewish. When we're looking for parking spots, we tell each other to challah if we see one.

Topic? I got nothing. It's too early for me to worry about baby showers.

lauren889 · July 2014

@lizjennings81‌ I just literally loled that's great!!!!

maltwin1 · July 2014

Honestly where I'm from (very traditional southern) not only is it generally "tacky" to have a shower for a second, it's just as tacky to have a shower thrown by immediate family members. If your sister or cousin want to go in with a group of your friends to co-host, fine...but it's just looked on as angling for gifts if your mom and/or grandmother throw you one. It's like saying "give my kid gifts".

As far as a second shower, it's acceptable in our area if friends want to throw a "sprinkle" instead of a shower. You only bring diapers or wipes and it's not generally a gift giving occassion.

Pirriwin · July 2014

Personally I don't like baby showers. I associate them with being commercial and vulgar look-at-me parties... Which you seem to as well, needing more/new baby stuff and hence wondering if a 3rd baby shower is ok. If you're short of money and can't buy new stuff for your baby, there's plenty good second hand goods out there. Or ask friends/family to donate any old stuff they no longer use. I think that's better than asking friends and family to feel obliged to gift new and expensive things (which most ppl no doubt would if they were invited to a baby shower). After all, your baby - your responsibility (with a little help from near & dear if needed).

A welcoming to motherhood or new baby ceremony is a completely different, and lovely, thing though I imagine (never attended one).

Buts that's just my opinion. I don't like valentines day either, another load of commercial crap. But that's a diff subject.

krysmill · July 2014

I personally don't believe in having a baby shower for every baby! You get one. A friend of mine had a baby shower for her first. I spent quite a bit of money on the gifts. Mind you I didn't have to do that but I wanted to. She had her second baby 14 months later and had another baby shower. I'll admit I was mad cause how do you ask all these same people to buy you more stuff when they just showered you! Plus she threw a huge 1st bday party for her first baby months before the second baby shower. She
also registered for the 1st bday party.

mandamoochie · July 2014

krysmill said:
I personally don't believe in having a baby shower for every baby! You get one. A friend of mine had a baby shower for her first. I spent quite a bit of money on the gifts. Mind you I didn't have to do that but I wanted to. She had her second baby 14 months later and had another baby shower. I'll admit I was mad cause how do you ask all these same people to buy you more stuff when they just showered you! Plus she threw a huge 1st bday party for her first baby months before the second baby shower. She
also registered for the 1st bday party.

Yeah.. my ds just turned one. My baby shower was literally 13 months ago. There is no way id let anyone throw me another shower for this lo due in feb. Wow i can't even imagine.

kittyj25 · July 2014

My office wants to give me a shower (second baby - new coworkers) and I said ok but they can donate to charity in lieu of gifts. I don't need a single thing. I have no idea why they even talked about it so soon but whatever.

On the topic - there are some situations I find another shower tacky and some I don't. I would not feel right having f/f buy me another gift. Honestly you know how short of time you use most baby things - buy
second hand or borrow.

chicagojackie · July 2014

Didn't we just do this topic like 5 minutes ago? It's tacky to have a second shower. There.

HerHighness · July 2014

Ducktale said:

I don't care if you have another shower but I do roll my eyes if the mom to be hosts. That is just gift granny imo.
People don't really throw themselves showers....right? RIGHT?

Sadly I've seen it happen. It was a coworker and her second kid, needless to say i didnt go

HerHighness · July 2014

I see showers as a welcome to motherhood thing. Its supposed to be for first time moms. I dont care if you gave your stuff away or not.

In my area sprinkles are common especially if baby 2 is a different sex. They arent second showers but usually a small brunch with ladies who are immediate family and best friends. Gifts arent required and nobody registers. I usually take a cute little onesie and a pack of diapers anyway but i like to bring gifts. Then again i do this when a friend/relative has a baby whether there is a sprinkle or not.

krysmill · July 2014

In my previous post the girls second shower was called a Sprinkle and she registered for it.

empiregrl5 · July 2014

krysmill said:
I personally don't believe in having a baby shower for every baby! You get one. A friend of mine had a baby shower for her first. I spent quite a bit of money on the gifts. Mind you I didn't have to do that but I wanted to. She had her second baby 14 months later and had another baby shower. I'll admit I was mad cause how do you ask all these same people to buy you more stuff when they just showered you! Plus she threw a huge 1st bday party for her first baby months before the second baby shower. She
also registered for the 1st bday party.

wait.....she registered for a birthday party??? Now I've heard it all...

rawor · July 2014

I'm having my third child and my husbands family is insisting on throwing a third shower! While I feel awkward about it and have asked them to not have another shower, I'm glad to have a family that feels so blessed and excited for a new baby. With my second baby we had a diaper shower where everyone brought a pack of diapers/wipes and we just played some games and ate some food just to celebrate the new family member to be!

DronkeyGal · July 2014

empiregrl5 said:

krysmill said:
I personally don't believe in having a baby shower for every baby! You get one. A friend of mine had a baby shower for her first. I spent quite a bit of money on the gifts. Mind you I didn't have to do that but I wanted to. She had her second baby 14 months later and had another baby shower. I'll admit I was mad cause how do you ask all these same people to buy you more stuff when they just showered you! Plus she threw a huge 1st bday party for her first baby months before the second baby shower. She
also registered for the 1st bday party.
wait.....she registered for a birthday party??? Now I've heard it all...

People are effing crazy. My friend's sister sends out pre-approved lists of gifts that family members are allowed to buy her child. And if she receives a present not on the list, they return it.

empiregrl5 · July 2014

DronkeyGal said:

empiregrl5 said:

People are effing crazy. My friend's sister sends out pre-approved lists of gifts that family members are allowed to buy her child. And if she receives a present not on the list, they return it.
Ummm, yea....her kids would probably not get a gift from me then....

ordinary1 · July 2014

rawor said:
I'm having my third child and my husbands family is insisting on throwing a third shower! While I feel awkward about it and have asked them to not have another shower, I'm glad to have a family that feels so blessed and excited for a new baby. With my second baby we had a diaper shower where everyone brought a pack of diapers/wipes and we just played some games and ate some food just to celebrate the new family member to be!

Diaper showers are also tacky. It is rude to tell people what to bring. Also, my family and friends (that know) are really excited for us (our second). They share this excitement by asking me questions and talking about the baby. A shower isn't necessary to be happy.

HerHighness · July 2014

DronkeyGal said:

I personally don't believe in having a baby shower for every baby! You get one. A friend of mine had a baby shower for her first. I spent quite a bit of money on the gifts. Mind you I didn't have to do that but I wanted to. She had her second baby 14 months later and had another baby shower. I'll admit I was mad cause how do you ask all these same people to buy you more stuff when they just showered you! Plus she threw a huge 1st bday party for her first baby months before the second baby shower. She also registered for the 1st bday party.
wait.....she registered for a birthday party??? Now I've heard it all...
People are effing crazy. My friend's sister sends out pre-approved lists of gifts that family members are allowed to buy her child. And if she receives a present not on the list, they return it.

Oh
Em
Gee
Where is the link to that tacky song again?

[Deleted User] · July 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

rawor · July 2014

I never asked for gifts / showers. And didn't ask anyone to bring me anything let alone a second baby shower nor did I need these things to be happy for the baby! Some family's have different customs when it comes to baby showers and things like that no matter how "tacky" other people think it is. I think it should just be left at that. If your family throws you multiple showers, even after you have expressed that you don't feel it's necessary, I think you should feel blessed that you have people willing to do that for you instead of insulting them because it's "tacky"

ordinary1 · July 2014

Re: diaper showers

Diaper showers are tacky because the guest is being told what to bring: diapers. The same goes for a book instead of a card. It's rude to dictate to someone what to give.

Eta: If I had either, I would be mortified. Sometimes it is the host asking and not the MTB.

Vanopynen · July 2014

Question, my father in laws girl friend, said something about throwing a shower for me. this is our second baby and I kinda say tacky because well yeah its our second but our first son was born in cali (my husband was in the service) we didnt have a shower and we had no family around I think thats the only reason im not totally opposed to it. My husbands cousin had a shower for both of her children so idk if thats what my husbands family does? To me its kinda wierd. Although I like the idea or meet the baby party! I know we do plan on doing a gender reveal party!!

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