The First Time

aves0708 · July 2014

One of the other posts got me thinking about the first time DH and I had no condom, no pull out, no birth control, basically no-holds-barred sex with the intention of making a baby. It was such a big moment for us, that I don't think I'll ever really forget it. I went of birth control but we prevented the first cycle saying we would try the next cycle. After I got AF, we didn't really talk about it so the first time we "got in the mood" I remember thinking mid sex "What is he going to do? Will he freak out and pull out? Is he going to stop mid sex and get a condom?" In amongst some moaning and groaning he just says "I'm going to finish" and I said OK. It was so awkward after haha. We chilled together for a little, got up, cleaned up and neither one of us said anything. H was already downstairs when I came down, and I just remember being blissfully happy and feeling totally weird that neither one of us were acknowledging it. So I grabbed a bottle of wine, poured two classes, handed him one and said "here's to the first steps in starting our family". He's like "I'm so glad you said something!" Then we laughed at our awkwardness, kissed and went blissfully on to have a ridiculous amount of sex for the next year.

Sometimes I look back on this moment and it makes me sad to think how naive we were. But mostly I look back at this memory and smile. Even though we are were we are today, I felt so close to him that night. I will always choose to remember this night positively. Am I the only weirdo who remembers this first time? Anyone else have funny or awkward stories?

ronniesgirl1981 · July 2014

I love this story! I actually don't remember, but I know the next morning he asked me if I was pregnant. I was half asleep and said no. He asked me how I knew and I said, "I would have gotten an email."

aves0708 · July 2014

@ronniesgirl1981 I seriously LOL'ed at your response!

@murrt A honeymoon baby would have been the best. Boo to IF

ky29 · July 2014

Our story was kind of similar to yours. I think we decided to try the next month... But he made the same type of comment the month prior. I remember it.. I wonder if he would though?

ebliss444 · July 2014

Awww.

I don't remember the exact first act, but I remember that time around my 30th birthday when were both excited and optimistic. Now at 33, it seems crazy to think we're at this point.

I'm also so jealous of the millions of other couples who get to *decide* to expand their families when they're ready. Now, those of us on this board get to spend months agonizing and thousands of dollars to achieve the same thing!

lilmamapanther · July 2014

My obgyn had already told me long ago that I would need help conceiving, so my DH has known about this since the beginning of our relationship. He's known I've been ready for a while. One night we we taking a bath together and he says maybe you should schedule a doctor appointment tomorrow.

I was like why do you know something I don't....am I sick Mr. Dr. After having to endured being tickled he was like. Call your obgyn tomorrow he's gotta put you on medication so we can have a baby right?....All I could do was sit in the tub looking retarded as he walked out the bathroom laughing.....

My next comment was you better not be playing with me...

That's our story....

bravegrace22 · July 2014

I love that you shared this sweet story!

We have been talking about starting a family since, what feels like, started dating. We always knew it was 'in the plans' but were blissfully ignorant as well and thought we could do things on our timeline and it'd 'just happen'. I remember that we had had a few very serious discussions about timing and had friends' wedding in may and were also talking about getting our furbaby around that time. We decided to start actively trying after their wedding, joking that we'd have their honeymoon baby for them. [sadface] Up to that point I had 1/2 joked that DH would just have to knock me up when he felt the time was right and I'd just have to deal. To my surprise, he decided to 'jump the gun' a month early. I don't remember if there was anything special otherwise about that day and, off the top of my head, exactly when it was-although i know i have it charted somewhere. He didn't say anything prior to and I was thinking the same as you, only more thinking towards the following month, like "what's he going to do..will i know..will it be odd for him to remember to not pull out..etc" He didn't make much noise, kinda odd for him, and just stopped. I asked him if he was ok and he said "I'm done sweetheart" LMAO. Me: "I thought we were going to start next month??" DH: "I know, but I felt like it was right and now there's not so much pressure"--he gets me

I will never forget that moment and how funny it is that you can be with someone for so long and be so close but still experience firsts and awkward moments. I also agree with you that I sometimes think of it in regards to the "what ifs" but generally in a good light because it was such a happy and exciting time in our life.

Best of luck to you in your journey!

BandM14 · July 2014

This is a great thread! I definitely remember the first time. DH literally threw his arms in the air afterwards (like touchdown sign) and said "we did it!". Lol. I do wish we could get back that initial excitement... kinda wears off when you start talking to doctors about sperm count and fallopian tubes and follicles etc. etc. etc.

BunnyBerry · July 2014

I still kick myself for our first "TTC" experience - we were long distance and opposite sides of the globe, and the first summer together I was on the patch, but the second summer I'd gone off it. I told him this, but I think something was lost in translation. The instant he "didn't pull out" I went ballistic. I had the deepest regretful feeling in the pit of my stomach, because at that time we hadn't yet decided to get married, and I was still finishing school and honestly felt that my entire life had just been ruined and decided for me in one moment. We went to a couple pharmacies asking about Plan B, because I was trying to figure out if it stops you from ovulating or prevents implantation, and finally I decided I was not comfortable taking it. That was a long scary wait for AF.

Now, it's hard to believe we are the same two people who went through that. 6 months into marriage, I had a long cycle with massively swollen and sore boobs like never before, so I was sure I must be KU. It was not planned (in fact I'd been temping and timing for pregnancy prevention), but by the time AF actually arrived, we both felt so ready.

That woke us up to a lot of things, and we started TTC. We BDed every. single. day. the first month, and twice daily in the fertile week. It was insane. It's how we woke up before work. Only the missionary position, and we got skilled at the tip/tilt/tissue/pillow placement maneuver. DH's sexiest newlywed skill was propping my hips for 20 minutes and keeping my feet warm up in the air with no circulation, lol.

When our belated honeymoon 2 months later also failed to get a BFP, we got pretty dejected and settled in for the next 5 years or so of hopeless TTC, on and off a few times due to Crohn's pain and flares. Such a different experience.

lebradford · July 2014

We had sex 18 times that cycle. It was only a 23 day cycle. :-P

shirleymaeby · July 2014

When we first got together DH and I both said we didn't want kids. Then we got married and it was like someone flipped a switch in my head...it was the only thing I wanted. He said he wanted to wait until we'd been married 5 years so we could enjoy being a young married couple.

About 6 months before our 5th anniversary we were watching a Discovery channel show about the creation of the universe and it was saying something about how all of the elements that make up the earth and even our bodies all came from exploding stars millions/billions of years ago. And he looks at me and says "That is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. All life in the universe just leads to other life and so on and so on. We should start our family now. Isn't it a beautiful thought that we will make something that will make something that will make something on and on forever?" He's not usually all deep and stuff, the man has the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy. So of course I was like "Hell yes, let's do this!"

So we did the BD and afterward he put his hand on my tummy and asked if it was a baby yet..and then he tried to pick my feet up and tried to "wheelbarrow" me to help gravity out because he is an idiot.

jennym25 · July 2014

I have never been any form of contraceptive and with DH we always used the pull out method. When we decided to start trying two years into being married we were really nervous so I told him I didn't have to be then and there so there was no pressure. When it came time to reach for the towel he grabbed my hand and said I love you and we are going to start trying tonight, are you ready? I was mute for a few seconds and then he said I'm going to finish now and all I could do was nod. I never thought that almost three year later I'm sitting here writing this while waiting to go in for my second iui (yesterday was #1). It was great reminiscing that "first" time.

WishUponAChild · July 2014

ronniesgirl1981 said:

I love this story! I actually don't remember, but I know the next morning he asked me if I was pregnant. I was half asleep and said no. He asked me how I knew and I said, "I would have gotten an email."

So that is the best laugh I have had all day!

We haven't had that moment of the "first time" cuz we new he was shooting blanks but I can't wait til the SA comes back and I really hope the meds have worked enough we got something to hope with... I can't wait til our first time. that is the best story.

mrsbrown824 · July 2014

I remember all of those year being on birth control with my 2 boyfriends, thinking if I missed a pill it would be the end of the world, all the prevention I took, and even when my husband and I started dating. If I only knew then it would be so hard. You do look back and think how naive you were, its crazy that we spend so much time and effort avoiding such a little miracle but in the end, it takes so much more effort emotionally and physically to make that miracle happen for you.

Sha259 · July 2014

It is so interesting how some of our experiences are so similar, yet very different.

DH and I had been married 7 years, practicing "pull out" the whole time, by the time we decided we were ready to actually try. I remember it like it was an anniversary, because it was during our first trip together to his home country. His first time back in 10 years. We laughed that we wouldn't go back until we had a niece/nephew to show everyone. Needless to say, 3 years later, and we are still not planning a trip back to Trinidad. When I had my first RE consult (with the RE i eventually fired), he told me that, after 7 years of marriage and no oopses, we should have been concerned. It made me want to cry. I'm so over it, I just want to be a mommy.

TiffW2012 · July 2014

These are all such great stories! When we got married, we had a general timeline of wanting to start trying around a year-year and half of marriage. Right after our wedding, I was going a little baby crazy, but I knew he wasn't ready yet. 10 months in, he told me that he was ready whenever I was. But then I freaked out a little and wasn't ready to pull the trigger! I told him I wanted to wait another few months. After a couple months went by, I was getting ready to start my new pack of BC and he asked why I wasn't ready. I didn't really have a good answer, because I WAS ready, I was just scared. So, we ditched the BC and had sex about 5 times that weekend (even though we of course wouldn't have conceived that early in my cycle)! It was a great start to the TTC journey. Fun times.

bravegrace22 · July 2014

kmdecoux said:

So we did the BD and afterward he put his hand on my tummy and asked if it was a baby yet..and then he tried to pick my feet up and tried to "wheelbarrow" me to help gravity out because he is an idiot.

Aww too cute! I love when DH is super excited about it and does stuff like this!..even the silly stuff like being ocd level concerned about tilting my butt up after and getting me water while i "incubate". Keeps the fun alive and makes me look forward to sharing that journey & gift with him.

shirleymaeby · July 2014

@bravegrace22 - DH calls it "marinating". LOL

bravegrace22 · July 2014

Haha nice

gotta love their sense of accomplishment.

Chasity08 · July 2014

I ALMOST feel weird and creepy by telling you that your story made me smile...but it did. So I'm saying it. I absolutely love thinking back on my naïve times like that. Or thinking back to when I thought it would be SO easy, and the fact that we actually WAITED a couple of months to start trying because we were SO SURE we'd get pregnant right away, but really wanted it to happen during a certain month. haha. I can still smile and laugh at these times, so that's a good thing I suppose

brijen44 · July 2014

That's awesome

Similar to LLM100811 I remember the freedom of not having to worry. Gosh, all the years spent trying NOT to get pregnant. It just kills me. But, as soon as we started trying I just knew it was going to take forever to get pregnant. So, while there have been times I thought I was ovulating (never have) and got excited that we might have a chance, primarily I just know it's not happening. Ugh

aves0708 · July 2014

I'm loving everyone's stories!

AngM123 · July 2014

I remember it perfectly! It was days of anticipation, and when we were done he flipped my legs up over the headboard (so I could "bake") and rubbed my belly while chanting at his spermies to swim

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