Give up on BFing?

DoublePortion · July 2014

Ladies, I'm not sure what to do. My supply is terribly low. Like only 180ml per day. Baby A might be coming home this week and even if I had a great supply he would need to be on Neosure. I have no idea how I will balance pumping to mix my milk with the formula, bottle feeding him, and going back to the hospital to work on feedings with Baby B. I want so bad to be able to provide them breast milk and eventually be able to BF when they no longer need the extra calories from formula. I'm afraid I'm going to lose my sanity!

carrotcake06 · July 2014

I'm mobile so I can't see how old your babies are, but the beginning is so so hard. Mentally, physically, emotionally draining. Hugs.

My boys were born at 34w. It took me 3 days to produce anything, even a drop, and I pumped for 30min every 3 hours. By day 5 I was producing less than half of what they were taking and we needed to supplement w formula. The NICU was so pushy w weight gain and neosure and I get it, they needed it, but they were not nearly as BFing friendly bc they couldn't quantify it.

By day 10, I was finally caught up, mostly bc I demanded they count nursing sessions as feeds. And then I'd still pump afterwards. Every 3 hours for 30min. Around the clock.

We were discharged and I was told to bottle feed half the feeds and add neosure. And to only feed them every 3-4hrs. This is really counterintuitive to establishing a long-lasting BFing relationship, so I didn't do it. I nursed on demand every 2-3hrs (tandem). The weight check at the pedi the next day showed they had gained and I never ended up buying a single can of neosure.

The boys are 12.5mo now and save those first 10 days in the NICU, haven't had formula.

I wanted to share our story with you not bc BFing is totally, always 100% the way to go, but to know that that feeling of being overwhelmed and under-producing (especially in the NICU), is normal.

If you'd like to keep going, make sure you are taking care of yourself - drink a gallon of water and eat good proteins and fats, pump 20-30min every 3hrs around the clock, work w an LC to get babies latched, do skin to skin as much as possible, and enlist help from anyone and everyone.

SV917 · July 2014

It's so hard! I feel your frustration. I exclusively pump for one twin and the other takes bottles while I'm at work. At 9 months, that's 1100 ml I have to pump every day on top breastfeeding H. It's very stressful.

For supply, I've found this brand of supplement to be the best: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00F1J7L6G?pc_redir=1405330959&robot_redir=1

Fenugreek plus oatmeal and ridiculous amounts of water are what's helped me. I do a lot of power pumping, too. When things are really low, that's 20 minutes of pumping, 10 minute break, 10 minutes of pumping, 10 minute break and 10 minutes of pumping. But usually I just do one 15-20 minute pump followed by a 10 minute break and 10 minutes of pumping. I do that almost once a day, sometimes twice.

What kind of pump do you have? I started renting a pump from the hospital when they were 4 months old, (they were eating more and I was having trouble keeping up). That helped tremendously.

Finding time for it is the hardest part, especially when you have two babies home. A hands free bra is a must have. I often pump while I give E a bottle or when my husband feeds her. Also, I view pumping time as my downtime. I read books, surf the internet, watch movies and tv shows. It still sucks, of course, but it allows me to have a break from the babies. How far is the hospital? Can you pump while driving to and from?

Good luck!

TREDgirl · July 2014

Honestly as long as your babies are fed that is all that matters. If you can nurse great, if it doesn't work out that is fine too.

I was only able to pump/nurse for 10 days. I had to make the decision on what was best for our family. I didn't feel that I was able to bond with them while pumping since it felt like I was always hooked up to that machine. Switching to formula and feeding the babies and spending time with them was more important to me than pumping and not making progress with my supply and missing out on time spent with them.

Yes nursing is great. But you are not a bad mother if you don't nurse and do formula instead. There is so much pressure on moms to nurse than it can really give us a guilt complex. You need to do what is best for YOU, your partner and the babies.

Good luck!

DoublePortion · July 2014

carrotcake06 said:

I'm mobile so I can't see how old your babies are, but the beginning is so so hard. Mentally, physically, emotionally draining. Hugs. My boys were born at 34w. It took me 3 days to produce anything, even a drop, and I pumped for 30min every 3 hours. By day 5 I was producing less than half of what they were taking and we needed to supplement w formula. The NICU was so pushy w weight gain and neosure and I get it, they needed it, but they were not nearly as BFing friendly bc they couldn't quantify it. By day 10, I was finally caught up, mostly bc I demanded they count nursing sessions as feeds. And then I'd still pump afterwards. Every 3 hours for 30min. Around the clock. We were discharged and I was told to bottle feed half the feeds and add neosure. And to only feed them every 3-4hrs. This is really counterintuitive to establishing a long-lasting BFing relationship, so I didn't do it. I nursed on demand every 2-3hrs (tandem). The weight check at the pedi the next day showed they had gained and I never ended up buying a single can of neosure. The boys are 12.5mo now and save those first 10 days in the NICU, haven't had formula. I wanted to share our story with you not bc BFing is totally, always 100% the way to go, but to know that that feeling of being overwhelmed and under-producing (especially in the NICU), is normal. If you'd like to keep going, make sure you are taking care of yourself - drink a gallon of water and eat good proteins and fats, pump 20-30min every 3hrs around the clock, work w an LC to get babies latched, do skin to skin as much as possible, and enlist help from anyone and everyone.

My babies are 2 weeks old (would be 35w4d). The NICU staff have been very encouraging and doing whatever they can to help me BF. I just have a hard time believing them when they say how great I'm doing since I barely produce enough for 2 feedings! Of course everything I've read said you produce more than what you actually pump but I know I'm not producing that much more. My boobs never really feel heavy or full. I'll have to make even more of an effort to drink as much water as possible and eat more protein.

DoublePortion · July 2014

SV917 said:

It's so hard! I feel your frustration. I exclusively pump for one twin and the other takes bottles while I'm at work. At 9 months, that's 1100 ml I have to pump every day on top breastfeeding H. It's very stressful. For supply, I've found this brand of supplement to be the best: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00F1J7L6G?pc_redir=1405330959&robot_redir=1 Fenugreek plus oatmeal and ridiculous amounts of water are what's helped me. I do a lot of power pumping, too. When things are really low, that's 20 minutes of pumping, 10 minute break, 10 minutes of pumping, 10 minute break and 10 minutes of pumping. But usually I just do one 15-20 minute pump followed by a 10 minute break and 10 minutes of pumping. I do that almost once a day, sometimes twice. What kind of pump do you have? I started renting a pump from the hospital when they were 4 months old, (they were eating more and I was having trouble keeping up). That helped tremendously. Finding time for it is the hardest part, especially when you have two babies home. A hands free bra is a must have. I often pump while I give E a bottle or when my husband feeds her. Also, I view pumping time as my downtime. I read books, surf the internet, watch movies and tv shows. It still sucks, of course, but it allows me to have a break from the babies. How far is the hospital? Can you pump while driving to and from? Good luck!

I just bought that brand of supplements yesterday! Glad to know it works for you!! I have a hospital grade Medela pump. I do have a hands free bra but am not sure how to pump and bottle feed at the same time without knocking the tubing out. A LC told me to massage my breasts while pumping as it can increase output by 80%. It has definitely helped but makes bumping and facebooking difficult. lol The hospital is 20 minutes away and I usually pump before I leave home and then before I leave the hospital.

DoublePortion · July 2014

TREDgirl said:

Honestly as long as your babies are fed that is all that matters. If you can nurse great, if it doesn't work out that is fine too.

I was only able to pump/nurse for 10 days. I had to make the decision on what was best for our family. I didn't feel that I was able to bond with them while pumping since it felt like I was always hooked up to that machine. Switching to formula and feeding the babies and spending time with them was more important to me than pumping and not making progress with my supply and missing out on time spent with them.

Yes nursing is great. But you are not a bad mother if you don't nurse and do formula instead. There is so much pressure on moms to nurse than it can really give us a guilt complex. You need to do what is best for YOU, your partner and the babies.

Good luck!

Yes, I feel a lot of guilt for not being able to produce enough. Plus, it hurts when Baby A sucks down a bottle in 10 min yet fusses at the breast because the milk is too slow or not enough. I really wanted than bond of being the one who the babies know to go to for food but realize the stress may not be worth it.

sasky · July 2014

TREDgirl said:
Honestly as long as your babies are fed that is all that matters. If you can nurse great, if it doesn't work out that is fine too.

I was only able to pump/nurse for 10 days. I had to make the decision on what was best for our family. I didn't feel that I was able to bond with them while pumping since it felt like I was always hooked up to that machine. Switching to formula and feeding the babies and spending time with them was more important to me than pumping and not making progress with my supply and missing out on time spent with them.

Yes nursing is great. But you are not a bad mother if you don't nurse and do formula instead. There is so much pressure on moms to nurse than it can really give us a guilt complex. You need to do what is best for YOU, your partner and the babies.

Good luck!

YES. I felt so much pressure with my first to BF. I had trouble the first week and would cry every day. I was
so stressed to the point that my supply was dwindling. I did eventually end up getting the hang of it after seeing multiple LCs, support from DH, and determination.

But I promised myself that I would not let myself get that stressed this time. It was not worth it TO ME, on top of dealing with twins and a 4-year-old.

This time we did great to start off, but after severe cracking and unbearable pain (we tried so hard to get the latch right, but just a couple of bad Feedings led to this), I decided to go to EPing, despite the LCs pressure to stick with nursing. I would have also felt ok with formula if it came to it, but EPing has worked great for these first 6 weeks.

Good luck with everything. Your babies will be fine no matter what path you take.

karah4816 · July 2014

carrotcake06 said:

I'm mobile so I can't see how old your babies are, but the beginning is so so hard. Mentally, physically, emotionally draining. Hugs. My boys were born at 34w. It took me 3 days to produce anything, even a drop, and I pumped for 30min every 3 hours. By day 5 I was producing less than half of what they were taking and we needed to supplement w formula. The NICU was so pushy w weight gain and neosure and I get it, they needed it, but they were not nearly as BFing friendly bc they couldn't quantify it. By day 10, I was finally caught up, mostly bc I demanded they count nursing sessions as feeds. And then I'd still pump afterwards. Every 3 hours for 30min. Around the clock. We were discharged and I was told to bottle feed half the feeds and add neosure. And to only feed them every 3-4hrs. This is really counterintuitive to establishing a long-lasting BFing relationship, so I didn't do it. I nursed on demand every 2-3hrs (tandem). The weight check at the pedi the next day showed they had gained and I never ended up buying a single can of neosure. The boys are 12.5mo now and save those first 10 days in the NICU, haven't had formula. I wanted to share our story with you not bc BFing is totally, always 100% the way to go, but to know that that feeling of being overwhelmed and under-producing (especially in the NICU), is normal. If you'd like to keep going, make sure you are taking care of yourself - drink a gallon of water and eat good proteins and fats, pump 20-30min every 3hrs around the clock, work w an LC to get babies latched, do skin to skin as much as possible, and enlist help from anyone and everyone.

I was going to write out my whole story but it was basically exactly the same as this one. My babies were born at 34 weeks and came home after 9 days. While they were in the NICU I pumped like a mad woman but got barely anything. The Neonatologist told me I could EBF when they came home except he wanted them to get 2 oz of formula a day for extra iron. at first that was a whole feeding so I would pump after that feed until they stared BFing after the bottle. Anyway, I know it seems impossible but you are probably making more than you think you are and once your babies come home and you can BF every feeding your supply will definitly improve. Just be prepared that they're going to want to eat a lot more often than the NICU was feeding them, at least at first

DoublePortion · July 2014

Thank you all so much for the advice! At the 11am feeding today I decided to have the developmental therapist work with me on bottle feedings so I'll be more comfortable with that when Baby A comes home. I hope to pump and add the milk to the formula, then if he is still hungry offer him the breast. That way I know he is getting some breast milk and we are still working on BFing. Hopefully that will help my supply and we can eventually move to just BFing.

so72409 · July 2014

PP have given you great advice. I could have wrote the first post about neosure and nicu. I was so stressed about producing enough by the time my girls were 8/9 weeks I was on a ton of supplements to boost my supply. I also decided that a 90/10 ratio between fb and formula would help ease my stress and helped me build up my frozen stash. Believe it or not, when I let go of all that stress and was ok with doing a little formula, my supply drastically INCREASED! We also used donor milk the last 4 months...so we really did try it all! No one way is the right way!

zazu13 · July 2014

Just wanted to offer my sympathy and encouragement. I had a rough delivery, no milk for 7 days, problems latching, very low supply (about 1/4 what I needed for both) and I tried everything to increase my supply. Nothing worked. My LC said my body would only make more milk If I ate and slept more. I physically could not do it. It was also suggested to me that my infertility played a role in my poor milk supply. I was pumping 8 x30 min a day for only a few ounces. During this time I was losing more sleep and relying on others to care for my babies. To me it wasn't worth it. After 6 weeks ( and lots of tears, self doubt and guilt) I threw in the towel. I hope you fare better than me, but wanted you to know you aren't alone and there is no shame in deciding to maintain your sanity. If you are going to make it work you need help. I hope you have a good support system of helpers. ((Hugs))

DoublePortion · July 2014

At the feeding tonight I felt like he was still hungry after the bottle so I offered him a breast to see what he would do since he was somewhat satisfied and not in a big rush. He BFed for 10 min! Of course I'm not sure how much milk he actually got but there was some around his lips when he broke his latch. So he at least got something out!!

KDR1979 · July 2014

My twins were born at 36 weeks and would not latch. It was a huge struggle and they both had to be supplemented with Similac Neosure. I tried to latch them daily until they were 6 weeks old and also pumped every 3 hours (sleep 1 hour, nurse/pump/rinse pump parts/put bottles in dishwasher for almost 2 hours=exhausting). The most that I ever pumped was 20 ounces/day. Between week 6-10, I quit trying to latch and just pumped. I thought about quitting every single day! At week 10, I tried to latch DS, and he did it perfectly! Then, I quickly learned that a true latch hurts like heck! I kept doing it though b/c that is what I worked for and the pain didn't last too long. At week 14, DD caught on to nursing too. I was never able to breastfeed 100% and they got a combo of formula & breastmilk. DS weaned himself around 12 months. DD would have nursed forever. She was an early riser between 1-2 years and seriously would nurse most mornings until 21 months old. I slowly weaned her between 21-24 months!

Looking back, the first 1 year was a blur (especially the first 3 months), but I still think I would do it all again. Breastfeeding was important to me and I knew that it was unlikely we would have children in the future (took 5 IVF's for the twins). It is such a personal decision, but I am glad that I was able to give the kids breastmilk daily.

DoublePortion · July 2014

@KDR1979‌ Did your supply increase once you were able to get them latched? The most I've pumped in 1 day is 6oz.

KDR1979 · July 2014

@DoublePortion I think my supply did increase, but it's so hard to know for sure when you aren't pumping as much! I remember nursing DS on the left breast and my right thigh getting wet....I looked over and I was leaking from the right. That NEVER happened before he latched at week 10! I did try the lactation cookies and thought that helped a little. I probably wasn't drinking enough water or sleeping enough either to produce a great amount of milk. I met with the hospital lactation doc 3x and had a LC come to my house. I remember pumping while using the pumping bra and being on the computer googling how much breastmilk does it take to get any benefit (ie-is it worth pumping for 25-40 minutes to get a tiny amount of milk). I could never find any certain number of ounces and mostly just read that ANY breast milk is good.

You have to do what is best for you! Splitting 6 ounces 2 babies is a lot of work for a little breast milk, but it may get better in the next few weeks! It is so hard to know!

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