Advice needed

courtlandmatthew · July 2014

So as a big shock- I am expecting twins. We knew we would have 3 under 3 but now it is going to be 4 under 3! I really need your help ladies. I currently have an amazing nanny and it works well for me. I have a demanding job and it is much easier for me to not have to get the kids out in the morning. Not to mention she is amazing with our kid, flexible and an all around great care giver. So I felt like leaving her with 3 would be reasonable but now everyone is saying that I can't leave her with all the kids. I was thinking of putting my oldest in day care 3 days a week- so she would only have 1 day of all 4. Does that sound reasonable? Should I jsut put him in full time daycare? Any thoughts or words of encouragement here? Everyone else is telling me I need to quit- I am not quite ready to do that and I thought you ladies would have supportive ideas.

snicksnack · July 2014

At age three part-time daycare, which is really preschool and is good for them. I noticed a big difference in my daughter when she started at age three. With that being said, have an honest conversation with your nanny and see what she thinks. Home daycares have a simiular type of ratio so I think it is doable is she is open to it. Block out others who say you should stay home and do what is best for you and your family.

courtlandmatthew · July 2014

Thanks ladies- unfortunately my son won't quite be three even yet so I have had trouble even finding a program for him. I definitely was thinking of putting him in a 3's program in the fall (babies come in January) but wondered if I needed to do something earlier.

thedash · July 2014

Congrats! Honestly I wouldn't put him in preschool just yet. I started DS at 2.5 and it was really nice but not crucial. Your family will have enough new things to adjust to without adding that logistical complication.

I actually think your nanny will be just fine with the 4 of them if she is experienced with small kids. Sure some days will be chaos but that's life with four babies! How long will you stay home on leave? I assume the twins will be 2-3 months old when you go back. A mother's helper for the nanny a few hours per week would be great if your leave is short or they are especially challenging babies. Or a college student on summer break to take the older two to a park or playgroup 2-3 times per week could give her a nice break, especially if she works long days.

And to people who think your nanny can't handle it and you should quit your job - why would it be ok for you to be home 24/7 with the 4 kids but your nanny isn't able to do it 8-9 hours per weekday?

courtlandmatthew · July 2014

I will stay home three months and go back when the babies are about 12 weeks.

MommyAtty · July 2014

Holy cow! Congrats! We are starting our 2 year old this fall in what we are now calling "wee school" (as opposed to preschool when she's 3) 3 days a week. I think it's a great idea.

dashofreality · July 2014

Wow, congrats! Honestly, I think that unless you were going to be dropping off and taking your oldest to preschool that it will be way more difficult on your nanny to take him (while dragging the 3 other kids) to preschool then to just watch the 4 kids.

As to watching 4 kids, yes you need to talk to your nanny, but there are definitely providers that are able to watch 4 kids. I've lived in states where the daycare ratio for infants was 1:4 or 1:5, so it definitely can be done. I would expect a raise would be in order, and some patience working through the logistics, but this isn't something you have to quit your job over.

umma4babes · July 2014

Congrats! I have a different idea - how about giving your nanny an "aid" for a few hours per day? As long as your nanny is okay with that? So she can get a bit of a break during the day? Honestly, your nanny could say sure now but could get overwhelmed when the time comes. A friend of mine worked as a "second nanny" for a family with 4 kids, anywhere from 2-3 to full day depending on the family's schedule. Her main job was to play with two older boys and take them to and from play dates. The main nanny stayed home with the babies.

courtlandmatthew · July 2014

I like that idea a lot actually- I would be taking my son to and from preschool but I do wonder if having a nanny come in part time would be great. I wonder if it would be hard to find that- but we do have a local college nearby and it could be good for students etc.

emberlee3 · July 2014

I think some kind of help for the older LOs would be nice, so they aren't stuck inside too much. Yes, daycares have 1:4 ratio for babies, but babies are not mobile and don't need to run around like toddlers/preschoolers do.

Want a personalized experience?

Advice needed

Re: Advice needed

Choose Another Board

Search Boards