Irish Twins

mypregoluv · July 2014

Irish Twins refers to siblings born 12 months apart or less i.e 1 born in feb2011 and the other in Dec2011 or in my case 1 born in July 2013 and July 2014. The closer it gets to my due date the more I feel like I'm going to be stressed out trying to handle 2 babies. Has anyone else dealt with this or going thur it that can shed some light on this situation? Any advice?

tbarker14 · July 2014

I haven't, my sister did... it was hard but she is happy she got that stage over with. both of her boys are supper close. She is also glad she no longer has to deal with the diaper stages etc.
I'm guessing if you try posting on the 2 under 2 board you may find a lot more support, tips and advice.
All I can say is try not to stress!

Justabean3 · July 2014

I really don't think that is necessary to hand slap her on this. It was only considered derogatory in the 1800's.

I have never even heard them referred to them as something else? What do you suggest she have said?

"The term 'Irish twins' is used to refer to two children from the same mother in a span of 12 months. The phrase originated as derogatory associated with the Irish immigration to America and England in the 1800s. This implied that the cases of close-in age siblings were as a result of the illiteracy of the Catholic Irish families as well as lack of self control."

So yes I get what it means.

dancingdays123 · July 2014

I'm nearly completely Irish and two of my uncles are Irish Twins. No one I've ever met actually considers it so totally offensive that it is on par with an ethnic slur. It may have meant something offensive in the 1800s but we are hardly in that time anymore. Relax people.

mypregoluv · July 2014

1st of all this is the term I was told it was called by a Dr I then looked it up its exactly what I am going through its even books on it titled irish twins if u look the definition up it explains it in the same manner.. yes in the 1800s it was a derogatory term but its 2014 and the term is being used eveyday as more ppl are having children closer together I apologize if anyone felt disrespected from my use of the term but at the same time Im not looking for any negative comments just advice thank you

PrimRoseMama · July 2014

The advice you got was still good. Some find the term offensive. It's not negativity to point that out. That's actually doing you a solid. You never know who might be turned off if you use it & lose out on some good friends you might have had.

My kids are 20 months apart, so not as close as yours. The first month or so was pretty crazy, but honestly it wasn't difficult at all for me.

What exactly do you need help with? You find that the older child might have to wait some while you attend to the younger sibling. Yes, they will hang up on you & cry. They might tag-team napping or some such. C'est la vie.

Coffee & vodka, my friend. Coffee & vodka.

Unknown · July 2014

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Unknown · July 2014

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conradraging · July 2014

I'm going to give OP the benefit of the doubt and accept that if her doctor used the term she probably assumed it was standard to use it, and this didn't think it would offend. Regardless, now you know for the future @mypregoluv‌.

Anyone I'm just going to echo checking out the 2u2 board as they probably have better advice. Although my guess is it's just an adjustment that you're going to have to make individually and there's no real answer that is going to tell you something you don't know.

mypregoluv · July 2014

How incredibly cruel! I come to a mothers discussion board expecting to relieve stress and get some advice, but all some of you can see is error and fault in the words I use to describe my situation. Granted I'm new here, but this is unbelievable! I will not let anyone add to stress I'm already under. I feel overwhelmed with how fast my life is changing is the point. Not my knowledge of the term that was given to me by a health care professional, and certainly not my grammar. I just wanted to same thanks to everyone who pointed me in the direction to find 2u2. I never used that term because I didn't know what it was, I never heard of it. I also did not know this was English class... 2u2 is a great board they use the term loosely and nobody criticizes them for it. I apologized once, so accept it or not, but pls get over it. This turned out more worst than talking to my in laws.

ashiscute · July 2014

mypregoluv said:

How incredibly cruel! I come to a mothers discussion board expecting to relieve stress and get some advice, but all some of you can see is error and fault in the words I use to describe my situation. Granted I'm new here, but this is unbelievable! I will not let anyone add to stress I'm already under. I feel overwhelmed with how fast my life is changing is the point. Not my knowledge of the term that was given to me by a health care professional, and certainly not my grammar. I just wanted to same thanks to everyone who pointed me in the direction to find 2u2. I never used that term because I didn't know what it was, I never heard of it. I also did not know this was English class... 2u2 is a great board they use the term loosely and nobody criticizes them for it. I apologized once, so accept it or not, but pls get over it. This turned out more worst than talking to my in laws.

I would stick with 2 under 1 not irish twins. Why offend when it's quite easy not to. I'm fairly active on the 2 under 2 board myself. Mine are 19.5 mos apart. It will be hard and it will be stressful. But before you know it the hardest part will be over and you'll wonder where your babies went. Good luck

2goingon3 · July 2014

Mine are also 19.5 months apart, they're now 5 and almost 4, and I'm going to go ahead and put it out there that 12 months apart might actually even be slightly easier? My DD had started climbing out of her crib just before DS came along, she also gave up napping regularly at 18 months-ish, so there was never a break in the day most days. She was very very active at that age too, so keeping her contained while I sat down to nurse, etc, was a challenge. Oh, and potty training while nursing....,

With a 1yr old and a new born, you might be more likely to have them nap at the same time, and you're not going to have to get up and run to the potty with your older one while LO is attached to your boob (if you're BFing).

Of course, it's going to be a challenge, but these are the choices we've made and once you get a routine going, life will not only be manageable, but actually pretty awesome! You'll just have to learn that on the days where everything just seems to go to shit, you can let it. It's not the end of the world!

(And FYI, anonymous people telling you that your unpunctuated post was difficult to read or letting you know that you unknowingly used a term that some find offensive should not be a stress inducer.....if it truly is, then you need to engage in some counseling as there are definitely some deeper issues that you need to work out)

TheNutt · July 2014

Honestly, I have Irish Twins and NEVER IN MY LIFE have I heard that it was a derogatory term. Moving on....

The first 2 years are tough. Friends with twins said it is harder as you have to repeatedly go thru developmental stages vs with twins both kids are developing at roughly the same time. The younger child will seem to advance at a faster rate. I think it is because they try to keep up with big brother/sister. Take it easy and do things at your own pace. Yes it is a handful but they will be so close as they get older. Mine are inseparable. We have to make sure to put them on different teams and encourage separate activities so they can be a little less dependent on each other.

Good luck and don't let the haters get you down. I am sure you are already getting the snide comments like "you know what causes that don't you?!" Ugh... stupid people.

My favorite was when they were 15 and 3 months old and people would ask me "Are they twins?" Umm... seriously? my favorite reply was "Yes, but because of the economy we don't feed the little one as much".

mypregoluv · July 2014

Thank You for this very helpful @TheNutt‌

mypregoluv · July 2014

2goingon3 said:
Mine are also 19.5 months apart, they're now 5 and almost 4, and I'm going to go ahead and put it out there that 12 months apart might actually even be slightly easier? My DD had started climbing out of her crib just before DS came along, she also gave up napping regularly at 18 months-ish, so there was never a break in the day most days. She was very very active at that age too, so keeping her contained while I sat down to nurse, etc, was a challenge. Oh, and potty training while nursing....,

With a 1yr old and a new born, you might be more likely to have them nap at the same time, and you're not going to have to get up and run to the potty with your older one while LO is attached to your boob (if you're BFing).

Of course, it's going to be a challenge, but these are the choices we've made and once you get a routine going, life will not only be manageable, but actually pretty awesome! You'll just have to learn that on the days where everything just seems to go to shit, you can let it. It's not the end of the world!

(And FYI, anonymous people telling you that your unpunctuated post was difficult to read or letting you know that you unknowingly used a term that some find offensive should not be a stress inducer.....if it truly is, then you need to engage in some counseling as there are definitely some deeper issues that you need to work out)

Thank you for your advice I totally appropriate it. I didn't mean that they was an added stressor just that they will not be. I just felt like I came for help and got bashed not what I was expecting. My stress stems from worries about how I will handle my family's future. It hit me at 9mos this is really happening I mean we talked about it whn we 1st found out but it was mainly excitement and joy especially whn we found out its a boy

conradraging · July 2014

mypregoluv said:

2goingon3 said:
Mine are also 19.5 months apart, they're now 5 and almost 4, and I'm going to go ahead and put it out there that 12 months apart might actually even be slightly easier? My DD had started climbing out of her crib just before DS came along, she also gave up napping regularly at 18 months-ish, so there was never a break in the day most days. She was very very active at that age too, so keeping her contained while I sat down to nurse, etc, was a challenge. Oh, and potty training while nursing....,

With a 1yr old and a new born, you might be more likely to have them nap at the same time, and you're not going to have to get up and run to the potty with your older one while LO is attached to your boob (if you're BFing).

Of course, it's going to be a challenge, but these are the choices we've made and once you get a routine going, life will not only be manageable, but actually pretty awesome! You'll just have to learn that on the days where everything just seems to go to shit, you can let it. It's not the end of the world!

(And FYI, anonymous people telling you that your unpunctuated post was difficult to read or letting you know that you unknowingly used a term that some find offensive should not be a stress inducer.....if it truly is, then you need to engage in some counseling as there are definitely some deeper issues that you need to work out)
Thank you for your advice I totally appropriate it. I didn't mean that they was an added stressor just that they will not be. I just felt like I came for help and got bashed not what I was expecting. My stress stems from worries about how I will handle my family's future. It hit me at 9mos this is really happening I mean we talked about it whn we 1st found out but it was mainly excitement and joy especially whn we found out its a boy

Try and think of it as a positive. Although it means you have two going through difficult stages somewhat at the same time, it also means you will get through those pretty quickly and not at totally separate times. Like pp said I've heard that the younger one tends to develop quickly to catch up with the older one and that can be helpful for you to get through the potty training stages and whatnot. No personal experience, but that's probably how I would try to approach it.

Erin1510 · July 2014

No experience with his, but I wanted to wish you best of luck! One of my best friends had a triple whammy when she unexpectedly got pregnant with actual twins when her oldest was 6 months old. She has 3 under 2 and man, I give her major props. Her husband works out of the country (State Department at a foreign embassy) and is gone for long periods of time. Luckily, soon her and the kids are moving to where he works so they can be together, but, the twins are 13 months old and for most of all 3 kids' lives she's done it on her own for months at a time.

PrimRoseMama · July 2014

mypregoluv said:
How incredibly cruel! I come to a mothers discussion board expecting to relieve stress and get some advice, but all some of you can see is error and fault in the words I use to describe my situation. Granted I'm new here, but this is unbelievable! I will not let anyone add to stress I'm already under. I feel overwhelmed with how fast my life is changing is the point. Not my knowledge of the term that was given to me by a health care professional, and certainly not my grammar. I just wanted to same thanks to everyone who pointed me in the direction to find 2u2. I never used that term because I didn't know what it was, I never heard of it. I also did not know this was English class... 2u2 is a great board they use the term loosely and nobody criticizes them for it. I apologized once, so accept it or not, but pls get over it. This turned out more worst than talking to my in laws.

@mypregoluv‌ : I gave you a legit answer & didn't ream you. Maybe you need to take a chill pill. You sound like my 2 year old throwing fit.

PrimRoseMama · July 2014

MrsMuq said:
@primrosemama - coffee and vodka... together? Or vodka in the morning and coffee in the afternoon ?

Choices choices :P

Havana2014 · July 2014

I'm 100% Irish and the term doesn't offend me in the slightest.......

Havana2014 · July 2014

Nope. If that's what I meant I would have said 'the phrase is not offensive'. I could also similarily say to you 'since you're offended it means everyone is?' I was merely letting the OP know that, as an Irish person, I was not upset by what she said as she seemed upset by the reaction she received.

WashingtonQueen · July 2014

In my 3.5 years on TB I have seen the term Irish Twins a thousand times. This is the very first time I've seen someone get scolded for using it.

Unknown · July 2014

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conradraging · July 2014

Why is this thread still happening

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