Natural birth mommas, let's talk books.

conradraging · July 2014

I know the natural birth board has some recs in their FAQ, but I was just wondering if any of you have any more. If you were going to recommend one childbirth book, which would it be?

FYI, I can't afford to take the classes so I'm looking to just be as prepared to go without drugs as I possibly can. Obviously if it comes down to it and it's necessary, I'll take the drugs without complaint.

LTMama · July 2014

I''m not a natural birth momma, but I read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth (I think that's the title?) last pregnancy and thought it was really interesting. And if it fits your plans/goals, I think it can be really empowering.

Groxb · July 2014

Totally thought this said "lets talk boobs."

Had to share.

bumpuser10199668 · July 2014

Ina May for sure. If for nothing other than a solid reassurance that your body can do this. Also the Bradley method book. I have mindful childbirth ing but haven't read it yet

conradraging · July 2014

@Groxb‌ I mean if you want.

@LTMama‌ I think that's the one I've heard the most about, though someone told me it was kind of cult-y. Haha

conradraging · July 2014

Anyone know about the Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth? That was recommended but it's not in stock at any of my bookstores and I don't know if it's worth paying to ship.

nilvero · July 2014

Both Bradley books are good. Husband Coach Childbirth discusses all the things we discuss in class. Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way ( I think that's the title!) shows the various positions and such.

LTMama · July 2014

Conradgallagher said:

@LTMama‌ I think that's the one I've heard the most about, though someone told me it was kind of cult-y. Haha

It kind of is? So there's that LOL. I mean honestly some of it made me roll my eyes a little (they refer to a contraction as "a rush," I guess to make it sound awesome and fun instead of painful lol). But the idea that these pretty amazing midwives have delivered so many babies without complications is pretty empowering. And they definitely convey the idea that very, very few births require medical intervention. Though I'm torn on that point - I like the idea because it can help a lot when you're optimistic and convinced you can do it, but it may also make moms feel like a failure when they do need medical intervention, which is terrible.

conradraging · July 2014

LTMama said:

Conradgallagher said:

@LTMama‌ I think that's the one I've heard the most about, though someone told me it was kind of cult-y. Haha

It kind of is? So there's that LOL. I mean honestly some of it made me roll my eyes a little (they refer to a contraction as "a rush," I guess to make it sound awesome and fun instead of painful lol). But the idea that these pretty amazing midwives have delivered so many babies without complications is pretty empowering. And they definitely convey the idea that very, very few births require medical intervention. Though I'm torn on that point - I like the idea because it can help a lot when you're optimistic and convinced you can do it, but it may also make moms feel like a failure when they do need medical intervention, which is terrible.

----All the mobile quote fails----

God it depresses me that anyone would feel like that because they needed interventions. You are no less of a strong, wonderful momma!

LTMama · July 2014

Conradgallagher said:

Conradgallagher said:

@LTMama‌ I think that's the one I've heard the most about, though someone told me it was kind of cult-y. Haha

It kind of is? So there's that LOL. I mean honestly some of it made me roll my eyes a little (they refer to a contraction as "a rush," I guess to make it sound awesome and fun instead of painful lol). But the idea that these pretty amazing midwives have delivered so many babies without complications is pretty empowering. And they definitely convey the idea that very, very few births require medical intervention. Though I'm torn on that point - I like the idea because it can help a lot when you're optimistic and convinced you can do it, but it may also make moms feel like a failure when they do need medical intervention, which is terrible.
----All the mobile quote fails---- God it depresses me that anyone would feel like that because they needed interventions. You are no less of a strong, wonderful momma!

Agreed! My BFF just had a baby (he's 3 weeks today and absolutely delicious) and she had a c-section, and she mentioned to me how she felt disappointed/like a failure. Obviously I stopped her and gave her a hug and pep talk, but I felt so sad for her that she automatically felt that way. They're both healthy and doing great, so she had a perfect outcome.

I'm curious about the Bradley books - for those who have read them, are they helpful with epidural births too? I assume the one that focuses on birthing positions wouldn't be, but re: pain management pre epidural, would any others be useful?

T&HLove · July 2014

Ina May's book. (If only for the birth stories) I have heard many women say her book made them feel like a failure when it didn't work out. But she actually has said, in an interview, that she wishes she could add a chapter to her book to prevent that. Wish I had the interview to share. EVERY mama is strong, no matter how her baby comes into the world!

Natural Hospital Birth by Cynthia Gabriel

The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin (great for your SO to read, but I suggest you do too.)

I also read one by ricki lake (blech) and I'm pretty certain she got all her info from the other couple books I mentioned. So, don't bother.

bumpuser10199668 · July 2014

Conradgallagher said:

Anyone know about the Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth? That was recommended but it's not in stock at any of my bookstores and I don't know if it's worth paying to ship.

My brother bought me this one. I flipped through it, but I didn't read it cover to cover.

As for Ina May, DEFINITELY not culty. I know it can come off that way because of "The Farm" but my brother stays there frequently and knows Inay May personally. They are very inclusive of others, but also very adamant about what they do. It is very "hippy" (think Ram Das/Timothy Leary commune minus the peyote lol), but so is natural childbirth these days.

LifeofCat · July 2014

I'm on the same page as you: I plan to go in med-free, but what will be will be.

I know PP have mentioned it, but I read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth... and took it with a grain of salt; there's a clear bias towards birthing at home or in a birth center, neither of which are an option for me since midwifery isn't even recognized here. That said, it did contain practical information about the birth process that I wanted to know.

DH and I are also reading The Birth Partner, which gives information on guiding a woman through childbirth, including med-free techniques to work through labour.

I also plan to read through Natural Hospital Birth (Cynthia Gabriel), but we'll see if I get to it

If I come across anything else, I'll let you know!

And so at the end of the day, the way I see it:

conradraging · July 2014

Yeah I have an ob and will be in a hospital. Didn't have much luck finding a midwife through tricare. So the whole home birth/birthing center aspect just ain't happening, but I think I'm going to at least pick up ina mays book and see if any of the others mentioned are there while I'm out.

LTMama · July 2014

Yeah I always planned on a hospital birth with epidural, but I think it's a great idea to read what you can and learn as much about the birth process anyway. Why not?

nilvero · July 2014

@ltmama yes it's great for pain management! A lot of what we have focused on is ways to manage pain during those early stages of labor. Relaxation techniques and different positions to help manage pain. So I would try and find it at your local library.

It's also worth looking at positions, because you may have a situation where you can't get an epidural. That happened to a friend of mine and she was grateful her class included some natural birth techniques.

I'm going in knowing these techniques, but I will not feel like a failure if it doesn't go how I want.

Everyusernameistaken · July 2014

I agree that The Birth Partner is a great read for both moms and partners, it gave us a great overview of what to expect in a very realistic but positive way.

Bonnesetter27 · July 2014

@conradgallagher- I have this book, I bought it from amazon used so it was cheaper. It is a book of why natural birth is better than other types. It didn't give ideas on how to have a natural birth except to say that a lot of times inductions/c-sections are unnecessary and you should have a dr that supports that. If you watched the bussiness of being born or lurk on the natural birth board, I am sure you have heard most of it before. That said it made me want to try for a natural birth more.

I actually just got the news that my placenta previa has resolved and I can have a vaginal delivery so I am in cramming mode to read most of the books mentioned.

brittneyandadam · July 2014

Bonnesetter27 said:

@conradgallagher- I have this book, I bought it from amazon used so it was cheaper. It is a book of why natural birth is better than other types. It didn't give ideas on how to have a natural birth except to say that a lot of times inductions/c-sections are unnecessary and you should have a dr that supports that. If you watched the bussiness of being born or lurk on the natural birth board, I am sure you have heard most of it before. That said it made me want to try for a natural birth more.

I actually just got the news that my placenta previa has resolved and I can have a vaginal delivery so I am in cramming mode to read most of the books mentioned.

I'm sorry, but why would you want to read a book that preaches the evils of medical intervention? Sometimes that needs to happen and having that book being the first thing that you read can't make you feel too confident if you have to go for a c-section.

bumpuser10199668 · July 2014

brittneyandadam said:

Bonnesetter27 said:

@conradgallagher- I have this book, I bought it from amazon used so it was cheaper. It is a book of why natural birth is better than other types. It didn't give ideas on how to have a natural birth except to say that a lot of times inductions/c-sections are unnecessary and you should have a dr that supports that. If you watched the bussiness of being born or lurk on the natural birth board, I am sure you have heard most of it before. That said it made me want to try for a natural birth more.

I actually just got the news that my placenta previa has resolved and I can have a vaginal delivery so I am in cramming mode to read most of the books mentioned.

I'm sorry, but why would you want to read a book that preaches the evils of medical intervention? Sometimes that needs to happen and having that book being the first thing that you read can't make you feel too confident if you have to go for a c-section.

Because being completely informed about what is REALLY necessary and what is simply convenience is an essential part of having a successful med/intervention-free birth.

As a FTM, I was unaware of the prevalence or purpose of things like Pitocin, episiotomy, forceps, IVs, etc. Now I know. And now I can go in and ask for them not to use these things because XYZ. In case of emergency, obviously my plans will have to change. But sometimes things are for the doctor or hospital convenience, not the safety of you and the baby.

CplusJ=S · July 2014

And keep in mind that for as many horror stories as you hear about things not going according to plan most times they do. People like to tell you their dramatic birth stories and how they labored for 96 hours and pushed for 4 then ended up with an emergency cs. I encourage you to read as many positive birth stories that worked according to plan as you can.

LTMama · July 2014

@nilvero, thanks! I'll get to reading

I only got to attend the first day of my childbirth class last time, so I missed a lot of the stuff on laboring positions etc LOL. Fingers crossed this baby will be full term and thus a lot bigger than DD, so labor will certainly be more involved than last time.

brittneyandadam · July 2014

CarmAlarm said:

brittneyandadam said:

Bonnesetter27 said:

@conradgallagher- I have this book, I bought it from amazon used so it was cheaper. It is a book of why natural birth is better than other types. It didn't give ideas on how to have a natural birth except to say that a lot of times inductions/c-sections are unnecessary and you should have a dr that supports that. If you watched the bussiness of being born or lurk on the natural birth board, I am sure you have heard most of it before. That said it made me want to try for a natural birth more.

I actually just got the news that my placenta previa has resolved and I can have a vaginal delivery so I am in cramming mode to read most of the books mentioned.

I'm sorry, but why would you want to read a book that preaches the evils of medical intervention? Sometimes that needs to happen and having that book being the first thing that you read can't make you feel too confident if you have to go for a c-section.

Because being completely informed about what is REALLY necessary and what is simply convenience is an essential part of having a successful med/intervention-free birth.

As a FTM, I was unaware of the prevalence or purpose of things like Pitocin, episiotomy, forceps, IVs, etc. Now I know. And now I can go in and ask for them not to use these things because XYZ. In case of emergency, obviously my plans will have to change. But sometimes things are for the doctor or hospital convenience, not the safety of you and the baby.

And I completely understand about being informed of your choices...but I don't understand about just reading a book that says how much better a natural birth is and doesn't give advice on how to go about it. Just that medical interventions are bad. To me, if that's all I'm reading and I don't get the other side about WHY c-sections or certain meds are necessary...then I might be putting my baby and myself in unnecessary risk.

I'm all about being informed and advocating for yourself, goodness knows I've done that with doctors...but it scares me when someone only gets one side of things. You need to be able to weigh your options and understand what circumstances might change your initial plan.

brittneyandadam · July 2014

dearfoam said:

brittneyandadam I'd say it seems OP is probably pretty aware a lot of books can be skewed one way or another, but from the two I've read up there (and she has been advised to take the info with a grain of salt and is prepared not to discount her experience whatever it may turn out to be), they do go a lot more into the "why" behind the opinions and practices for various interventions when they are necessary. I'd say more in the Bradley book than the Ina May book, but that may be just my take on it. Point being, seems like OP's got a good head on her shoulders, not to worry.

I'm def not worried about the OP :-) I was more concerned about the poster who suggested the book that I was questioning.

amom2four · July 2014

I believe it is always best to be educated on all aspects of your care and be able to advocate for yourself or have someone that you trust that will voice your wants/needs. With that said, it almost sounds like there could be some doctors that aren't being trusted here. That's never ok. I completely trust my ob and that should things need to be discussed because shits getting dicey, I'll get the whole story and all options with no regards to what is most convenient for her and/or the hospital. That in my book is number 2. (Even though I love my OB, I hate the corporation that runs the monopoly of hospitals in my area.) When things aren't going as planned, you have to trust your providers and caretakers. If you doubt those people, you have to find someone you don't hesitate to believe in. Just my 2 cents.

CplusJ=S · July 2014

Ugh, I didn't want to post this here since I was just preaching reading positive birth stories, but it needs to be said. I trusted my OB during my last pregnancy and ended up with an unnecessary and unwanted episiotomy. I explicitly told her I didn't want one, it was written in my birth plan, the nurses knew and so did my doula and husband. The OB assured me she would not do it unless medically necessary. As I was pushing the l&d nurse was giving me a perineal massage with mineral oil and my doula said she would have thought I had done it before if she didn't know I was a FTM. I pushed 3 times for all of 15 minutes to get my baby out. During the last push I hear my husband and doula shout "no, no, no!" and before anyone could stop her she cut me. Baby was not in distress. There was no medical reason for it. When I asked her at my 6 week follow up she told me she does them routinely since they is easier for her to stitch than tearing which is something she never mentioned at any of my check ups. When I called we on it she said she knew FTM like me and knew her real answer would not have gone over well. RAAAAAAAGGGGEEEE! 8 weeks of discomfort, having to use the peri bottle with witch hazel, ice pads, fear of pooping without a stool softener and numbing spray for her own personal convenience. My doula and nurse were furious and said I wouldn't have torn with my effective pushing baby's small size. I considered filing a formal complaint against her, but at that appointment she advised me she was selling her practice and moving back to her home country to spend more time with her family.

I understand the sentiment that you should trust your doc, but even if you do they are not always looking out for your best interest.

lovesazzie · July 2014

Conradgallagher said:

Anyone know about the Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth? That was recommended but it's not in stock at any of my bookstores and I don't know if it's worth paying to ship.

Ok, my disclaimer is that I'm a former natural birth momma, who has become (after two natural out of hospital births) very skeptical of the natural birth world in general - not people who do it, but the culture around it.

That said, I really think this book is out of date. I own it, and even when I was drinking the natural birth kool aid I found it to be out of date in many ways. I truly think that most OBs out there are wonderful and are reliable sources to give you the straight up information on the pros and cons of every intervention, which is what the intention of that book is. If you don't trust your provider to give you the best possible information and care based on their MANY years of experience and training, you absolutely need a new provider immediately, and no, it is not too late to find a new doctor.

amom2four · July 2014

@CplusJ=S‌ I would be so mad. That's horrible that someone you trusted did that to you. I know the pain because I've had the traumatic births that shouldn't have been that way. 2 of them, actually. Both with docs I didn't know and trust. Maybe part of the reason I am so trusting of my ob now is references from family and she was in the news a few years ago and on oprah for treating and delivering a couple that became national news. Now she is in a small town taking care of me.

I have no issues switching docs for any reason or level of discomfort in my belief of their ability to provide adequate treatment. I had a pcp for many year, 15 yrs I think. She started telling me that my sons issues were parenting and basically told my dh to shut his mouth because he didn't know what he was talking about bring up autism with my son at 7. I needed parenting classes. I went to the next appt, let her have it in front of a medical student, got her apology and left her on as pcp without seeing her again while my son went through numerous tests and observations only to be diagnosed with autism. She actually snoops in my records and complains to my mom that she doesn't treat us anymore and saw that I had dd 3 yrs ago. Trust is paramount in healthcare. I have made many changes over the years to benefit my son and it is never too early/late/difficult.

amom2four · July 2014

I'm not trying to sound bitchy or preachy about this, I just am a firm believer of advocating for yourself and standing up for your healthcare. If a provider goes too far, they need to be reported to the boards and authorities if necessary. In the medical office I worked in, I had to make sure the patients were 1000% informed and gave their permission so that I didn't give them a shot and find myself in trouble for assault. Sadly, that's the way the world is.

CplusJ=S · July 2014

In all honesty, I don't want to scare anyone. My birth was not traumatic per se, but I was infuriated by what she did to me after the fact. I have tried to let it go, but now that I'm pregnant and know that might tear in the same spot as the episiotomy brings back terrible fear and anger. I have found a new OB who I adore. I told her my story and she was outraged for me. I still stand by my statement that it is possible to achieve a low intervention birth in the hospital. You just need to know your rights and make sure you have a supportive SO and also a doula if you can swing it. Let them know your intentions and allow them to advocate for you when you feel things are being pushed on you by a nurse or doc.

conradraging · July 2014

Not saying I don't trust my on but I see a group practice and I started seeing them at 28 weeks because I moved across the country, so I think, at least in my own case, that I'm my baby's/my own best advocate, not a doctor who barely knows me. I simply want to educate myself about the stages of labor and maybe learn some pain management. I'm not trying to buy in to either side of the medical intervention debate. I just want only NECESSARY interventions, and reading and educating oneself about what's going to happen to your own body is probably the best way to get there.

amom2four · July 2014

As a bit of reassurance, I had a 2nd degree tear and hemorrhage with my oldest and a nearly 3rd degree year with my second but nothing with my current youngest. I credit it to my doc. and her knowledge. Just because you had the episiotomy doesn't mean you'll need another or that you will tear. It just depends on how big baby's noggin is!

jennhapp · July 2014

I've read Husband Coached Childbirth (the Bradley method) and Hypnobirthing: the mongan method. We are also taking some inexpensive classes that are very similar to Lamaze... The Bradley method was more scientific, and I felt it went over more of the science behind birthing than technique. Lamaze gave us some breathing techniques and positions for birthing.

Out of all of them, I absolutely love the Hypnobirthing book! I am in the process of scouring the internet and Barnes and Noble for as much info as I can get for this. It is very positive, talks about techniques you can use to make a natural med-free birth less painful (possibly pain-free). But it doesn't berate anybody if they need medical interventions or choose a medicated birth. It's all about being very in-tune with your body and knowing that the birthing process is a natural event and trusting your body.

conradraging · July 2014

Man all they had was ina mays and the hypnobirthing so I bought Ina's. If I had waited like two minutes I would've gotten your hypnobirthing recommendation. Dang

amom2four · July 2014

This is true and may be one reason why living in a small town with 2 obs fits me well. The hospital here also does companion care and I have the same two nurses for my entire stay.

Bonnesetter27 · July 2014

brittneyandadam said:

CarmAlarm said:

brittneyandadam said:

Bonnesetter27 said:

@conradgallagher- I have this book, I bought it from amazon used so it was cheaper. It is a book of why natural birth is better than other types. It didn't give ideas on how to have a natural birth except to say that a lot of times inductions/c-sections are unnecessary and you should have a dr that supports that. If you watched the bussiness of being born or lurk on the natural birth board, I am sure you have heard most of it before. That said it made me want to try for a natural birth more.

I actually just got the news that my placenta previa has resolved and I can have a vaginal delivery so I am in cramming mode to read most of the books mentioned.

I'm sorry, but why would you want to read a book that preaches the evils of medical intervention? Sometimes that needs to happen and having that book being the first thing that you read can't make you feel too confident if you have to go for a c-section.

Because being completely informed about what is REALLY necessary and what is simply convenience is an essential part of having a successful med/intervention-free birth.

As a FTM, I was unaware of the prevalence or purpose of things like Pitocin, episiotomy, forceps, IVs, etc. Now I know. And now I can go in and ask for them not to use these things because XYZ. In case of emergency, obviously my plans will have to change. But sometimes things are for the doctor or hospital convenience, not the safety of you and the baby.

And I completely understand about being informed of your choices...but I don't understand about just reading a book that says how much better a natural birth is and doesn't give advice on how to go about it. Just that medical interventions are bad. To me, if that's all I'm reading and I don't get the other side about WHY c-sections or certain meds are necessary...then I might be putting my baby and myself in unnecessary risk.
I'm all about being informed and advocating for yourself, goodness knows I've done that with doctors...but it scares me when someone only gets one side of things. You need to be able to weigh your options and understand what circumstances might change your initial plan.

Perhaps I didn't explain my opinion on the book enough. I liked hearing about how many more interventions are performed and why they aren't necessary but I totally think the book and videos like Business of being born are giving a skewed view. My first birth was in the hospital with an epidural and I loved it (well except the part where the epi wore off). This time I have thought that I would have to have a c-section b/c of a placenta previa and I was actually getting happy about a c-section. Now that I can have a med-free (at least it is more possible) birth I am setting this as my goal. I completely understand though that I might need to be induced because of GD breaking down my placenta and I am not against it. I do want to be informed about the options though.
I think on a whole many more interventions are used than need to but I am not a doctor and will definitely follow her lead.

conradraging · July 2014

Well. I've almost finished the birth story portion of ina may's guide, and now I'm driving around listening to the pandora station based on "I Am Woman" so there's that.

T&HLove · July 2014

Just would like to point out that there are many women who have had traumatic births due to a dr that they thought they could trust. I don't want to scare anyone into Not trusting their provider.. It's just very very important to educate yourself on the pros and cons of all interventions, discuss them with your provider, and be prepared to advocate for yourself at the hospital.

favretk · July 2014

I just finished reading 'Natural childbirth the Bradley way' and even tho it does kind of push the non-hospital/non-OB on you, I thought it was very informative on the whole labor process, what happens to your body, and why hospital interventions can get in the way. It gives relaxation techniques and exercises to do with your partner to get through the hard parts, and describes everything that could go "wrong" (when interventions are necessary). I highly recommend it!! Now I just have to get my hubby to read it

bardini · July 2014

Conradgallagher said:
Anyone know about the Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth? That was recommended but it's not in stock at any of my bookstores and I don't know if it's worth paying to ship.

This is a good one. I found it vety helpful . Try the library- i checked the library website & did a request for it last time. It was there in 1-2 days & cost a whopping 25 cents for the request.

blue+skies · July 2014

lovesazzie said:

Ok, my disclaimer is that I'm a former natural birth momma, who has become (after two natural out of hospital births) very skeptical of the natural birth world in general - not people who do it, but the culture around it.

Sorry if I missed your story elsewhere (and I'm on mobile so I can't see post history) - but can you explain how you went from having natural, out of hospital births to being skeptical of the natural birth world? I'm just really surprised to hear that, because everyone I know that has had natural birth seems very passionate about natural birth (& its methods) and is willing to recommend all their tips/ideas/opinions. I'm interested to hear more about your views/experience(s), if you don't mind.

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