How to deal...

singingirl96 · July 2014

Hi ladies.

I haven't been here in a while...

I unexpectedly gave birth to my daughter at 28 weeks (5/4) and she's still in the NICU... meanwhile I'm taking care of Andrew who is a handful. I can't believe he's gonna be 2 this Saturday!

I'm so stressed. We've been trying to keep Andrew's life as stable as possible. It has been tough since my time is so divided and I've already gone back to work! We postponed his birthday party a week to hopefully give us time to bring his little sister home and get her settled in....but they keep delaying her discharge and it looks like she may come home the same week as the party... I don't know how I'm going to make this happen!

Anyway. I miss being on here. Life just doesn't allow much time for it these days.

Barefoot84 · July 2014

Congratulations on the beautiful little girl. Sorry it's been so hard and complicated, but hopefully she'll be home soon and you can settle into a new routine for everyone's sake.

As for Andrew's birthday, I wouldn't worry too much. Tumaini probably has no idea that the cake and balloons were for her special day. You can postpone as much as you want, to let your family settle in with the new one. It might be best for your daughter too to wait a few more weeks before exposing her to so many people that will want to take her and cover her with kisses.

KarmB · July 2014

yea I wouldn't worry too much about a party. Natalie settling is more important imho. plus, havig all those germs around would weird me out. maybe a nice family dinner and cake for you guys. he's 2. it'd be different if he was 5. I think he'd just like his family of 4 cuddles.

lkamenko · July 2014

Congratulation on your little girl! Sorry it has been so stressful. How is the baby doing now? Glad to hear she is coming home soon. Happy Birthday to Andrew, I am sure he will like the party even if it is just few people and cake and baloons. Don't worry about it.

singingirl96 · July 2014

Natalie Marie is her name. She's a cutie pie. She was 2lbs 15oz when she was born. She was very fragile, but has been healthy during her time in the NICU. Born crying and breathing well, never intubated, no infections, no eye problems, no brain bleeds... she's been amazing all the nurses and doctors on how well she has been. But now we wait because she can't get the hang of eating... ugh. its so frustrating. She now weighs 6 lbs and is growing well.

The party is a backyard barbeque/pool party at my father in laws house. I've bought all the decorations, sent out invites. I have to go buy all the food. I may do that this weekend.
I think we'll make it, and the party will go on as scheduled, but its just a lot happening this week. I'm hoping she'll come home asap...

singingirl96 · July 2014

I wish I could delay it a bit longer... I do have family flying in for the party, so that would be kinda messed up if I delayed it... I'll manage. I always do. Its just a bit overwhelming now.

mrsplaydoh - I plan on keeping her away from people. They can look from afar, but no touching or holding... Plus its outside, so fresh air. My mom will be there to help too... so I think we can make it work. I just always get so anxious regardless of whether I'm getting help or not.. Its the control freak / perfectionist in me... I just need to learn to let it go and not worry so much.

snickersforeveryone · July 2014

Congrats on your sweet baby girl. I'm so sorry she's in the NICU. I hope she comes home soon and you all can settle in to your new normal. Happy birthday to Andrew! Don't worry over his party. The beauty of being two is that as long as you can run around and eat your weight in cake, it's a great day!

pinkangelmoon · July 2014

Congrats on your little girl! Sorry she arrived sooner than expected. Glad to hear she's doing well. Birthday parties are stressful enough to plan without a newborn, so I can't imagine how you are feeling! Take it easy and hope everything works out!

aylafsu88 · July 2014

Congrats on your new baby girl! I am so sorry it has been so stressful and scary. I know that you are doing your best in this situation. I think all the PP had good suggestions for the party (potluck or having someone else take over).

Pleione · July 2014

Your little girl sounds like she's doing amazingly! Congratulations, she's lovely. Since the party looks set to go, just try to delegate as much as possible. Send someone else with a list to go food shopping. And at least it won't be at your house, something less to worry about.

bumpuser1509193 · July 2014

I'm sorry things are not going as planned. Is it possible to just cancel the party? You could have his party in August even if you really wanted to have a party.
Congrats on the birth of your little girl, hope she is strong enough to come home asap!

britbratjf · July 2014

Congrats on baby girl & glad she is doing well! Is there a BBQ place close that could possibly cater? Just get a bunch of meat & sides and that'll take a lot of stress off you for food. Maybe they could even deliver?

nesenotes · July 2014

Congrats on the baby! I personally would just release the reigns on the party. Let someone else take care of it. Even if it's a mode podge jumbled mess, don't worry about it. The point is family and friends are there to celebrate. And toddlers don't really care or remember anyway!

zyas · July 2014

Congrats on your new little girl

Honestly if it was me I would cancel the whole party. Having a baby fresh from the NICU, I would want to be home with her and not at a party with a whole bunch of people. But if you are still going to go through with the party, just like what others said - let someone else take care of everything. Good luck!

lilahbean13 · July 2014

Oh wow! I'm glad she is ok that's really scary. I don't have much advice other than what my best friend told me this week. She told me "she's only two, she doesn't care about her party and she won't remember it, you could celebrate with a cupcake and nothing else and she will be happy" so maybe just do something super small and not as stressful to acknowledge and celebrate his birthday ?

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