Awkward Comments & Weird Advice about Pregnancy

LinziLoo09 · July 2014

I think I've seen some similar threads on other forums but not with my December gals, so I figured I'd ask the question... Since you've announced (if you have), have you gotten any awkward comments or weird advice about pregnancy yet? I know these will only increase as the pregnancy progresses and the kid pops out, so it's good to know what level of cray cray we're dealing with right off the bat.

Though most of the reactions I've gotten have been great, here are my weird ones:

-"You're the LAST person I'd ever think would get pregnant. I figured it must have been an accident from your beach trip in December."

-"You're going to be a mom? Well, at least your husband is maternal." <lol I kind of agree with this one actually>

-Said by my boss at a company wide staff meeting - "Well, Lindsay's must be awful fertile people! They're just all getting pregnant."

-Said by my faculty advisor in grad school - "Don't expect any sympathy from anybody. And don't tell anyone until you're sure you have funding for next year."

-Said by most school colleagues - "During your dissertation?! Good luck..."

-After getting complimented by several people at a party on still not showing at 4 months into the pregnancy, another girl said - "I don't know why they're all surprised. It's not like you're doing something special. You're not actually supposed to show until 6 months at least" <really?! wtf?!>

Do you guys have any awkward advice or comment "gems" to share?

ETA - Make things easier to read

JaymeeLH · July 2014

"I'm not sure I should say sorry or congratulations"
"Are you going to keep it?" (Seriously?! If I'm telling you I'm pregnant do you really think I'm going to terminate??)

My MIL insisted I go back to full time as soon as my maternity leave is over because "a daycare would do a much better job socializing and teaching the baby than you can do on your own" EXCUSE ME?! I'm not worried about my 6 week old being properly taught and socialized, but thanks. Glad to know you have faith in me.

taylojade57 · July 2014

FTM- We announced our new arrival during Sunday school (a pretty tight-knit group, and all close friends) before we announced via social media... All of the women (ALL of them) started talking about how much they Hated being pregnant and how terrible it was.
Umm, thanks?

kboyet · July 2014

My boss when I told him:
"Oh no! Well, it is a slow time of the year for work so that will be good"

Back story: i got promoted and he for into a severe motorcycle accident a week later making everything crazy at work. He's happy for me but his response was NOT what I anticipated!

nesenotes · July 2014

"You'll get through this"
"Was it planned?"
"I hope you didn't ruin a good thing by adding a second. Normally the second ones are the worst"
"You probably shouldn't buy anything for this one yet" meaning I might still somehow not have the kid - said by my dad! -_- I set him straight on that one.

ninee88 · July 2014

I know I'm not the only one to have heard this...

"Are you sure you don't have twins in there?"

Amanda&jay · July 2014

"It's your first so you'll probably be in labor for like 32 hours, just warning you. Oh an get an epidural"
Said by a not close male friend of a friend. Glad he has pushed a baby out of his vagina so he can randomly give this advice.

JunkieBrewster · July 2014

none this timE but with my first, my boss told me that if I was not going to stay home, that I should abort.

jrkjpf · July 2014

gradschoolmom1234 said:

"Oh that nausea is just psychological" - my mother (wtf mom, believe me, it's very very real)

My mother also said this to me, "It's all in your head, you really aren't feeling sick, here eat a banana".

LinziLoo09 · July 2014

ninee88 said:

I know I'm not the only one to have heard this... "Are you sure you don't have twins in there?"

I have heard the twins comment from so many pregnant friends. WHEN IS THIS EVER A GOOD THING TO SAY?! If I get this, I plan on turning the question back on the asker, "No, do you?"

abenson3 · July 2014

JunkieBrewster said:

none this timE but with my first, my boss told me that if I was not going to stay home, that I should abort.

WOW!! Beyond rude, I can't believe that someone would think those thoughts, let alone say them out loud to a pregnant lady!

RayRay007 · July 2014

So far nothing too bad; I'm just waiting for the "it's about time" next time I see certain extended family members. I'm debating about smiling and nodding or telling them about my losses and making them feel bad.

I've had a lot of "do twins run in your family?" and without getting into too much of an explanation about how that isn't really a determinative factor, I just say no. Then, "do they run in your H's family?" and without getting into how DH's family has absolutely no bearing on my genetics, I just say no. Then, "so it was a complete surprise?". I think this one is a way of trying to find out if they are spontaneous or if we had ART.

LinziLoo09 · July 2014

RayRay007 said:

So far nothing too bad; I'm just waiting for the "it's about time" next time I see certain extended family members. I'm debating about smiling and nodding or telling them about my losses and making them feel bad.
I've had a lot of "do twins run in your family?" and without getting into too much of an explanation about how that isn't really a determinative factor, I just say no. Then, "do they run in your H's family?" and without getting into how DH's family has absolutely no bearing on my genetics, I just say no. Then, "so it was a complete surprise?". I think this one is a way of trying to find out if they are spontaneous or if we had ART.

I didn't get any "it's about times", but when I told my dad he said, "Thank God! I had been praying that this would happen before I died!" ... Um, I've only been married 2.5 years; I just turned 30; and my dad is a healthy 65 year old. I know it was well intended, but melodrama much?

ebl2 · July 2014

I've actually gotten great compliments this pregnancy but with my first I told my boss and his words were, "Oh... is this a good thing?" No, jackass, it's a horrible thing. Are you kidding me??

bjenny · July 2014

"Was it planned?"

Is this really your business? What about an old fashioned "congratulations"?? :-O

nopegoat · July 2014

This is our third, so we usually get confused or disgusted remarks. My favorites..

"You know what causes that, right?!"
"Don't you own a tv?"
"Two boys already. Oh! You must be trying for a girl."
"Oh wow. You are going to... have your hands REALLY full. Are you ready for that?"
"Why?!"

RayRay007 · July 2014

gradschoolmom1234 said:

ebl2 said:

I've actually gotten great compliments this pregnancy but with my first I told my boss and his words were, "Oh... is this a good thing?" No, jackass, it's a horrible thing. Are you kidding me??

@ebl2 I'm in grad school, and a lot of profs especially don't know what to make of grad students having babies, it isn't common in our department (see above comment by my advisor about being glad I'm not treating pregnancy like a disability). So I've taken to telling people what to think about the pregnancy when I tell them about it just to avoid comments like your bosses. I always say something like "I'm expecting a baby in December, we are very excited about it!" - I also like to preempt them by saying something like "this might slow me down a little bit in December and January, but I'm not worried at all about how this will affect my dissertation"

I went to talk to my graduate chair last week about taking a short leave from the program (it's course based and I will miss 1-2 semesters) and he wasn't at all surprised (or at least he hid it well) and was super eager to give me a leave.

kimba1976 · July 2014

From my mother when we told her about this pregnancy...silence. Then, "well clearly that wasn't planned."

From one of the partners at my company "So you'll be on maternity leave at the end of the year? Well that's really inconvenient. This is your last one, right?" (I work for a small company owned by men and when I got pregnant with DD I was the first woman in the history of the company to do so. They had to create a maternity leave policy just for me. Now I'm daring to do it again!)

From a friend who has no filter when I told her I was pregnant with my first: "Ha ha, I really hope you and [DH] take some parenting classes or some shit. Otherwise that kid is screwed."

feeshah · July 2014

-"You're pregnant AGAIN?!!"
Umm I haven't been pregnant for 8 years....soo I don't understand where that came from.

- While at a family get together we were giving everyone funny nick names. One uncle called me "Rolly-Poley"...I didn't think it was that funny.

- "wow you're eating a lot of cookies"
REALLY?? GET OUT IF MY LIFE ASSHOLE!

JCM285 · July 2014

The most surprising reaction I had so far was from my closest friend. I was having lunch with her and her sister and they were asking me how things were with me and DH so I found the opportunity to tell them I was pg. My friend says, "We already knew. We were just waiting for you to tell us!". Apparently, I am looking bigger in some of my more recent FB pictures, although I wasn't trying to highlight the bump on there. Oops!

goatlady12 · July 2014

"Oh you want to find out the gender, that's wrong. I hope the baby crosses their legs."

Don't know if I was more angry at the misuse of sex vs gender, or if it was because she just wished that I didn't get what I wanted. I'm amazed I haven't punched anyone in the throat yet.

ToriGirl2014 · July 2014

"You're really big for not being that far along" - family member

"Are you sure there isn't more than one in there?" - same family member as previous

"Just eat less for a while and some of it [belly] should go away" - MH (hate to tell you, it's only getting bigger from here).

Really everyone? I'm short, petite and skinny, eat pretty healthy and get moderate exercise most days. I have gained four pounds total from BFP til today. All the comments are totally uncool.

Andplusalso, when did it become acceptable to comment on a pregnant woman's size? As in, for any reason ever unless you are my doctor?

I ignored the family member but you can be sure I reemed out my husband about fat-shaming a healthy pregnant woman.

LinziLoo09 · July 2014

@summersunshine916 - I didn't know we had to change our names! Geez, having a baby is way more difficult than I realized! ...seriously where on earth did that comment come from?!

LeviJeans · July 2014

1.) "you're too skinny for being this far along! You're not even showing" (this comment by both family and strangers (husband like to tell strangers while we're out, like the cashier at a kid's consignment store and the lady who cut his hair)

1b.) *i pick a friend up from the airport. She runs over and starts rubbing my stomach* "awww you're not even showing yet!!!" ...then why are you touching me...

2.) "who is going to take care of the baby when you go back to work? You're planning on staying home? You can afford that?" (We just moved out of state/away from all family so this question series happens a lot...)

ETA: forgot one

ColeyCannoli · July 2014

First three are by my cousin who forgets that not everyone is a supermodel:

"You have a bump already? My neighbor didn't have one until the very end. I guess it's because you're short" (I'm 5'7")

"Be careful, my mom was overweight by the end." (not obese, not diabetic, just overweight... at 9months... oh noes!)

After I mentioned I needed a new bra already:

"I guess pregnancy will just make you spout all kinds of TMI, huh?"

Others have said such fun things as:

"I don't really care or anything but people were asking... was this on purpose?"

"I could never be pregnant. It's so gross and destroys your body. Not worth it"

"So much for going back to school."

And for advice:

"Don't tell anyone what you want (sex-wise) or you'll get the opposite! That happened to us." (no comment)

Little less than half way~ sure to collect so much more by the end! :P

amr196 · July 2014

A lady my mom works with who I've met like twice says "your little hoo ha is gonna hurt!" Gee thanks for thinking about my crotch?

sbevann26 · July 2014

"Way to contribute to over population."

.... Like what does that even mean? Can't you just say congradulations ??

ebilbao · July 2014

From one of my 16 year old students: "Are you worried? Because, you know, two pretty parents make an ugly kid."

Um, thank you?

brittandjp · July 2014

"Wow! Ellie just had her first birthday! Was it planned?!" (friend)

As if it's any of your fucking business, yes, it was planned. In fact, the baby that was due in August was also planned, though my miscarriage was not.

"A December baby?! It's so close to Christmas and Ellie's birthday is in January. You couldn't have planned that better?" (friend)

Uhh no, things don't always go as planned douche. Though I'm sad to have lost our August baby, I'm so happy about having a December one.

"Wow! You guys are lucky! You get pregnant so easily! XX will be so jealous since it took them forever for baby #2." (grandma)

Umm what exactly do you consider lucky? We lost a baby in January. That wasn't lucky and in fact the worse experience of my life. So, we technically started trying for number 2 in October and here we are now, April. I wouldn't necessarily call that easy. (She didn't know I had a m/c, but that shut her up real quickly.)

Those were pretty much my responses in each situation, though they were much more eloquently stated. That's what I was really thinking though!

leoandethansmom · July 2014

I haven't had any weird comments (yet) but I had an employee (19 year old boy) ask me the other day, "When you get pregnant, where do your abs go?" I lauged all day on and off every time I thought about it. How innocent.

ColeyCannoli · July 2014

sbevann26 said:
"Way to contribute to over population."

.... Like what does that even mean? Can't you just say congradulations ??

wooooow... that's just weird. I don't think I could have kept from being creepy and saying, "it's okay. I'm gonna raise him/her to be a serial killer. You know, to even it out."

ninee88 · July 2014

I totally forgot! I went to a wedding this weekend for a girlfriend that I just graduated with. I didn't know many people other than the 5-6 other classmates she invited. Here was the conversation I had with two different people I didn't know at different times:

Them: "You're pregnant, how exciting! When are you due?"

Me: "Thanks! December."

Them: "You look really healthy!"

Me "..."

Is healthy a new pregnant word for fat? I'm pretty sure it is.

LinziLoo09 · July 2014

@ColeyCannoli - HA! Perfect solution to the overpopulation crisis!

Man, some of these are just awful! Hopefully we can perfect our snarky sarcastic responses by the time the babies come out...because then we'll really be flooded with pointless, insulting, and unsolicited advice!

DoctorWorm222 · July 2014

With my first, a friend at work literally stopped me in the hall and said, "I just want to make sure you know you're going to poop yourself. In labor, everybody poops themselves."

My first words after delivery: "tell Vanessa I didn't shit myself!"

zoester766 · July 2014

We stopped by my MIL's house as soon as I got out of the car she said "where is your bump?"
Me: "I don't really have one yet"
She then said "you must grow them in the back" and then rubbed my belly....
My toughts, this is awkward I just said I am not showing you just said I am not showing and now your rubbing my fat?

rshamos · July 2014

MH's uncle said "you're breasts have gotten bigger." Um, thanks.

rebeccas7829 · July 2014

Coworker asked "when will you start showing?" Uhhh...I am already in maternity clothes. Grant it, they're still a little big on me, but my regular clothes are too small. Makes me feel like I just look fat, not pregnant. : /

desertsun · July 2014

I am slowly coming out over the past few weeks, so not too many things yet, other than people basically saying "I thought so." Yeah, this is my second, and I tend to gain quickly when pregnant and show pretty fast. It's pretty much impossible to hide at this point. I am sure the comments about twins and incorrect due date are only a matter of time.

ABurries · July 2014

At church the other day, a family friend asked, "So are you going on a special health diet and cutting out a lot of foods now that you're pregnant? My niece doesn't eat meats or cheese because of the possible unhealthy things in them." I proceeded to take a perfectly timed bite of my donut and say no.

aggiejenn37 · July 2014

"I just really thought y'all would have twins."- my MIL and DHs entire extended family. One. Million. Times. My DHs brother AND his sister both have twins, so it's like one baby isn't good enough for his family. Infuriating!!

Also from MIL on only gaining 2.5 lbs at nearly 20 weeks: "Are you sure that's OK?! Have you been eating anything?!?" No, I decided being pregnant was a great time to stop eating everything and see what happens. Just bc your daughter gained a lot doesn't mean I have to. Remember there's only ONE baby this time.

aggiejenn37 · July 2014

Also after announcing the pregnancy a co-worker said "I thought you might be pregnant. It looked like your middle was getting a little rounder and I thought, 'Jenn cares about working out. If she was just gaining weight she'd go to the gym and do something about it." Thanks for sharing.

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