So my husband and I had our big extravagant wedding 4 days ago and I've been thinking so much about "did I make people feel uncomfortable?" by taking a moment of silence to honor my son, and dancing to his song. My husband and I felt that had he been alive he would have been present for our wedding and despite him passing, we wanted to make him present at the wedding.
No one had said anything negative, but no one has really talked about that part of the wedding either. There are also no pictures of that moment. Should we have just ignored our son for that one day to not ruin the party? Or should we feel like that was our day, and our moment and people have to get over it?
I just wanted Domenik to know that no matter what mommy and daddy are thinking about him always. And we want our families to understand that he made a huge impact on our lives, and he is very loved and very missed.
Re: Been awhile, just talking!
I think you did what was right for you and your husband then you did the right thing. People just never know what to say about anything regarding a loss, they're probably just not mentioning it because they're afraid to say the wrong thing.
If it were me, I would have included my son in some way, and I think dancing to his song was a beautiful idea.
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I know it is hard to not worry what others think, but we really need to do what we need to do. Weddings are a happy event, congrats to you both, but they are a part of a life that includes sad moments as well and your son existed and is loved and he deserves a place on your happy day, whether it makes other people uncomfortable or not. My mom passed away 6 years before I got married, so I did a few things here and there to honor her at my wedding. I tried to keep them to a minimum as to not turn it into a super sad day, but she was and will always be loved and missed and I just could not go the whole day and not acknowledge her. It may have made a few people tear up (especially when my dad mentioned in his toast that it was very sweet of MH and I to choose to get married on what was my parents wedding anniversary) but that's life, both happy and sad.
It doesn't sound like you went overboard with honoring your son, what you did was very beautiful so anyone who didn't like it can just get over it. I've noticed on FB when I post something about my rainbow I get a ton of likes and comments, but when I post something about my angel only my very very close family or friends like it but it will not keep me from acknowledging my first daughter.
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Congrats on the wedding! I'm sure it was even more beautiful since you included Domenik . Don't worry if you offended anyone or if anyone felt weird about it. It was your day and you both created him he deserves to be included. I think it was a great idea!