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June 2014 Moms
Baby Blues Monday Check in
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Re: Baby Blues Monday Check in
/blog
Don't beat yourself up. You identified the problem and are fixing it and I'm sure he'll thrive. DS#1 didn't have as severe of problems as you went through but we did struggle with weight due to prematurity and reflux and today the kid is above average on the charts and eats like a teenager. He will catch up, you are doing an awesome job, some of the most awesome, healthy, smart people were formula fed (modestly points to self)
The bumpie formerly known as First Time in MI
I think its mostly that I am frustrated because DH was being SO AWESOME with helping in the beginning, but now he is... not so much. I have to literally yell at him 4 or 5 times to get him to wake up and help when the boys freak in the MOTN, and when he "wakes up" he nods off, drops the bottle (luckily not the baby), gets all pissy, and is generally just not worth waking up. So then I'm stuck dealing with the twins on my own all night. Last night I got like 2 hours of sleep, and I haven't gone to sleep at all tonight. I am exhausted, but apparently DH has become completely ignorant and unsympathetic to that.
I've caught myself missing life before the babies, and I don't like that. I know it's "normal" but I just don't like thinking it.
I've started to get overwhelmed all over again and I was really starting to enjoy the boys. I don't want to backslide into thw way things were, I don't want to be exhausted and irritated and mean.
It really, really upsets me.
Can you guys try working in shifts? You go to bed early and he stays up with the boys and let's you get a block of sleep? So maybe you sleep from 7 pm to midnight, then he can sleep from midnight till the morning when he needs to get ready?
You have to get some decent sleep. It makes such a difference.
"Babies cry. It's what they do. They just cry, sometimes for no reason. Remember this."
It really has helped me to repeat that in my head. Hope it helps you too.
then Mmmbop came on the radio. I feel a little better.
but yeah, still not good.
I am so with you. I have had to supplement w formula. Hate it didn't want too. Had to the first week she was born due to jaundice and we were back in the hospital. Then all was good but the other day at the Dr he was asking how she is sleeping. She is 4 weeks. Told him u was up almost all night w feeding. He said with her getting older maybe she is not getting enough. So now I am supplementing.
I also was told by the LC in the hospital that I might not produce enough mild due to my breasts are tubular. So that means it is congenital and for some reason my boobs never really grew. Never knew this so upset. I knew I was small but had no idea.
With this I might not be able to produce enough milk. So bums me out I only pump between 1-2 total per feeding. Sometimes I can get more but not a lot.
When my LO nurses she is fine for a few minutes and I can hear her swallow. After a bit I don't hear her swallow and she seems to fight the boob. Growning and pulling on it. Does that mean she is still hungry and she is not getting anything?
She seems more content w formula. I hate doing it. I know it fills them more.
I do breast pump and formula.
I might try the mixing the two together. I was not sure if you could. That would be better.
I am so glad I am not the only one having issues w having to supplement.
I'm finding myself wishing I could just get away. For a while. Like not just for a couple hours. And I feel so horrible for feeling that way.
DH has an interview Monday with the county jail to be a correctional officer, and while we are praying our asses off that he gets the job, I am TERRIFIED of him getting the job because he would be working 12 hour shifts, 3days on, 2off, 2on, 3off (aka panama shifts.) I'm terrified of being alone with the boys that long- when they get fussy overnight and I'm tired, I get so mad and frustrated, I find myself telling them "hush, just hush," over and over like a crazy person as I am trying to console them. I feel crazy.
I even applied to Wal-Mart to be able to get away for a few hours every day. Even if all the pay pays for is daycare, it would be worth it to get away for that amount of time.
My PP appointment isn't until the 17th and I am worried that I won't be able to mentally make it until then. But all I have is the pregnancy medicaid which only covers this PP appointment so even if I am diagnosed with PPD (which I'm thinking is possible if not probable at this point) I wouldn't be able to afford to do anything about it.
And to top it all off, I haven't seen my parents in 2 1/2 years. I don't show DH how much this hurts me because I know we can't do anything about it and I know it will just make him feel bad, but it seriously is killing me a little more every day. And having the boys has made that separation worse because it seems like everything that soothes them has to do with my family. (Like the song that calms them is "over the rainbow", but the version that was sung by the Hawaiian gentleman, and that was one of me and my dad's songs. So I have to listen to it over and over every night.) So I can't just shove it down anymore and I think that's making how I am feeling exponentially worse. And again I can't do shit about it.
And now I'm ficking crying. I think its time I admit to DH how I really am feeling.
Thank you for reading if you did. You ladies have all been amazing support and I think I would be in the crazy house if I didn't have y'all. Thank you for being here.
Hugs to all the ladies who are having a rough time too, I know I'm not the only one struggling and I hope you all can find a solution to the issues you are facing. I love you ladies.
Eta tags; crap i didn't realize how long that was; i can't believe i wrote all that without making a single typo! (Ficking was intentional.)