N3TR: The Duggars.

Hopeful1222 · July 2014

I will blame this post on the fact that I'm a teacher and am not working for the summer which means I'm already bored out of my mind! I've only been out of school for a week! Anyway, anyone have feelings about the Duggars? For instance, still desperately wanting more kids after 19 and being around 45 years old. Their lifestyle? I feel with that many kids, at least one is going to have to rebel against their upbringing.

Hopeful1222 · July 2014

I like them too for the most part. And totally agree that so much of Michelle's identity is tied to being pregnant. But I feel bad for the kids like they are under so much pressure to follow the rules the family feels they should live by. I think it's one of the boys who will rebel!

AnnaClaire256 · July 2014

I have mentioned this on a thread before but I live in the same city as the Duggars. Our houses are actually only about a mile apart. I think it's funny how they portray them to live in a little bitty town when the metropolitan area has about 600,000 people lol.

DH was a volunteer fire fighter with a few of them and we have gotten to know them that way. We even got invited to Jill's wedding (along with about 1,000 other people...ha!) but weren't able to make it.

I know people have a lot of opinions about them, but I've got to say they're probably the nicest people I've ever met. The way they are on TV is not a front. They're sweet genuine people ESPECIALLY Michelle. I've seen her many many times at the grocery store or the bank always sweet and smiling...talking to every single person who stops her.

While we may not share some of their beliefs, I respect them so much. Their kids are undoubtedly sheltered but they are kind and funny and well behaved.

I do feel for Michelle. I'm sure she feels a little lost. Lucky for her she is definitely going to be blessed with a gaggle of grandbabies!

ETA: Joy Anna is my vote to be the rebel!

Sigh202 · July 2014

I am oddly intrigued by them. I'm sure we disagree politically about everything but they seem like such good people.

ky29 · July 2014

I actually just caught a few of the most recent episodes. I had always heard about them, but never watched the show. I saw the one where basically she found out she probably won't/can't have anymore children. Since I haven't really seen it, I don't know how to feel bad for her. I kept thinking, chalk it up to a win, and move on. But, that is insensitive of me.. and all of this was with the BFN of my final IUI.

Hopeful1222 · July 2014

I have no doubt they are genuinely nice, kind, good people. I guess since they way they chose to raise a family is so different from anything I've experienced, it's hard to relate.

cu97tiger · July 2014

My mom is the oldest of nine children, and while they all get along and it's fun to come from a big family, I definitely don't think it's fair to the kids to have 18 siblings. There is no way that they spend good quality one-on-one time with each of the younger kids. I'm not mad at them, but I definitely don't think it's an ideal situation for the kids.

I'm glad to hear they are as nice in person as they are on TV! My grandparents were NOT as nice as Jim Bob and Michelle

Hollowvic · July 2014

Only watched a few episodes but I would watch them any day over that Teen Mom 2 crap, and 16 and pregnant, ugh don't even get me started.

AnnaClaire256 · July 2014

@CaterinaC‌ I think she mostly went to the specialist (incidentally also my dr) to see if it is POSSIBLE for her to have more children. i.e. Check to see if she is about to enter menopause. She has been pretty open about saying if she isn't able to have any more she is ready to close that chapter and move on to the "next season of life". I don't think she could be classified as having any issue with infertility.

I have wondered what their stance would be if one of their daughters experiences 3T later in life. Would they be open to assistance or is that fighting "gods will"?

TLooney17 · July 2014

I like them. They seem so nice and genuine. I think it's amazing how calm and soft spoken Michelle is while handling all of those children!

juneroses · July 2014

I always cringe when I hear people talk about raising girls to be mothers, because not everyone is meant to be a mother. My father grew up in one of those perfect 50's/60's suburbs where all the women stayed home and had kids, and has stories that remind you a lot of Betty off of mad men - bored and self medicated on booze.

And not everyone can be a mother - if I didn't have my career right now, and the examples of several older women who have lived beautiful lives without the child they wanted, I would be so depressed. I'm waiting for one of the girls to write a tell-all...maybe Jinger?

Hopeful1222 · July 2014

Oh @juneroses, I think Jinger will be the one to do it, too! Although I think Jessa is on the edge, that guy she has the courtship with right now seems so creepy to me and she seems to be more a free spirit.

I guess that's one of my biggest issues is the way their daughters are raised to be mothers and wives. I recently read a blog where Michelle gives marriage advise to Jill. Her first piece of advise was along the line of: always been available to your husband, no matter how tired, how pregnant, how sick you are, you must put a smile on your face and be "available" to serve your husband. It grossed me out it sounded like she telling her girls they had to basically sexually available weather they wanted to or not. I'm not ok with that.

nighthawk646wife · July 2014

murrt said:
Ok, so I have strong and conflicting feelings about this. On the one hand. they seem like really sweet, caring people and that can't be underestimated. But there is some severe issues in other places that make me cringe - like equality (for women), for example.

They are obviously raising some caring individuals and doing a good job of that. However, I wonder if some of their children, especially the girls, crave a different, more independent life where women are treated as equals.

The emphasis on getting married and having children as the only degree of success, and the woman being subservient to the man is just not something I support, nor do I think it's an 'OK' way to raise children.

What would happen if one of their daughters decides to not marry and instead choose a career like engineering or archaeology. What if they choose to wear pants or jeans someday? Would they be supported not ostracized?

Think about what it would be like living in a home where you are taught that women should "always submit to sex whenever the husband wants" - a direct quote from Michelle Duggar. How about being taught "absolute female submission"? Not so rosy when you look at it from that point-of-view. It's no wonder Michelle is struggling with her identity now that her child-bearing days are over. If you are taught to identify yourself as wife and mother - what do you do when you know that you're child-bearing years are over?

It's not all it's cracked up to be. No reality TV show is. No family is.

So I was raised this way. I am pretty much the outcast if my biological family. I did not get married till I was in my late twenties which was a shocker but then divorced after two years. Then remarried (the horror) and now after two husbands I have no children and "that must be God's punishment for my sins" gah

I by no way believe my family's views on God. I believe but not as they do. In that family the only thing women are out on this earth to do is have children. It to this day causes me admit if pain to realize I'm 30 and have no children.

However I can't see Michelle doing that to any of her kids... as people they seem nice enough even if I get sick to my stomach seeing that they have 19 kids and counting...

CarSaidYes · July 2014

I prefer the Duggars over Kate and Jon Gosselin any day, and twice on Sunday.

Hollowvic · July 2014

@CarSaidYes‌ I second that. I'd rather pass a kidney stone than watch kate gosselin.

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N3TR: The Duggars.

Re: N3TR: The Duggars.

Me: 26 (IC/PCOS-2000mg of Metformin daily)

DH: 27 (SA results were great minus the slightly low morphology)

Started dating DH in 2002 at 14 years old

Married on 03.01.2014

Officially TTC since April 2014

January 2013- Surprise BFP, m/c at 6 weeks, D&C 2 Weeks later

April 2014- First RE appointment

July 2014- IUI#1-Canx due to scar tissue and polyps. TI with the help of Ovidrel. BFN

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