Any other single mommas?

buckeyemomma · July 2014

I was just wondering if any of you ladies were also single. I've seen that most of you are married, which is wonderful! I am just feeling a lot of emotions. I'm 21 and single and in college. I'm feeling pretty alone and scared and I was just wondering if there was anyone else in a similar situation.

XSweetieO0O · July 2014

I'm not in your shoes but I'm so sorry you're feeling alone. I know if you ever need to chat, we're here for you. You're a strong lady to be doing this, I have several friends who were in the same place as you in Chicago. They're all now beautiful confident women with happy adjusted lives and children.

camilu87 · July 2014

I had a very close friend go through that in college as well. Stay brave and know single or not, you have lots of love and support right here!

StephanieLBerg · July 2014

I'm not in your position, but my mother was. She was terrified too, but in the end, she knew that it was all worth it. If you're concerned about not being able to handle this on your own, you're not alone, but do know that you can. The female psyche can handle a lot more than one initially thinks. If you're afraid of how your child will turn out only being raised by one parent, take it from someone who grew up with only a mother; I turned out just fine. Things were hard between her and I when I was in middle/high school, but at the same time, my mother wasn't willing to do what was necessary to keep the peace between us, and I really didn't appreciate some of her parenting tactics. But again, it was all a learning experience for the both of us. Keep your chin up, know that we are here for you, and have faith in yourself. You will do great!

gnjforever · July 2014

I am 20 and fiance and I had a terrible split. I was freaking out also. He fortunately came to his senses but I know what you are feeling right now. There are a ton of great women on here that are more than happy to talk you through any problems! Including me

jaztastic · July 2014

You have a whole board of woman who are here with you. While we all may not be able to relate specifically, I'm sure you'll find support if you allow it. We all have some fear about this...Best wishes to you.

krista0290 · July 2014

Last year I was you. 21, in college (lived on campus), single, and PREGNANT! This year I'm 22, married, living in our own home, and pregnant again

This time planned

I maintained a 4.0 while taking 7 classes. I threw up in class at least once a day but people were understanding and I used humor to smooth it over. I napped A LOT! I met my husband at 6 months pregnant. He is my sons father. Sperm doner does not necessarily equal father. He has his last name. He is his grandparents grandbaby, they could care less about DNA...he is their world! I married when my son was 3 months old. He's 9 months today and I'm 6 weeks pregnant. It's possible! Hard but possible. I'm not saying to go looking for a relationship either....but don't feel like you're "damaged goods". In todays world mixed families are so common. My husband has even said he fears he could never love another child like he loves our first son. We never even mention to anyone that he's not biologically his. It's irrelevant to us. Just nap, nap, nap. Stay positive. Take care of yourself and do not give up. Take it one day at a time, one exam at a time, one paper at a time. My first trimester was horrid...but I made it and so will you!

XSweetieO0O · July 2014

@krista0290 you just gave me the chills. So happy for you. That's an amazing story.

OmSweetOm · July 2014

Although I am not currently in your situation I was when I had my son 6 years ago. I was "in a relationship" with the father but we lived on separate sides of the country and had an awful relationship. He was not supportive of me as a person, and left me in the hospital the day I was to be discharged (son was in nicu) because "he didn't feel good". My mom had to come and pick me up... So I very much considered myself single as I did everything on my own. Doctors appointments, buying baby stuff, caring for my son.. Everything. I am with my DH now and he is the best thing that has ever happened to either of us. He treats my son like his own and loves him as such too. I don't know your situation but I will say this from experience.... It is not easy being a single mom, but it is a hell of a lot easier then being with someone who is not supportive. You got this girl. And once you get in the groove you honestly won't even remember what life was like before:)

krista0290 · July 2014

@XSweetieO0O Thank you! I was blessed to meet my husband. I was actually not showing much when we met but when I told him I was hesitant to accept a date bc I was pregnant he made it clear it did not change me as a person. I think it's important for single mothers to remember that. I secretly felt "less than" because of my circumstances. Those were my twisted thoughts and not anyone elses. I deserved love and so did my child. I knew if he could handle be pregnant and at my worst then he was "the one". We're both catholic so I feared being judged at church esp going together. Me all huge and showing not being married and clearly being a new couple. I wasn't at all! His family is very religious and never once was anything short of amazing to me. Our Priest was more than happy to marry us and even didn't make us take marriage classes because he knew we understood what marriage meant and how serious it was. Although now that I'm pregnant again I'd like to strangle him somedays.....I still love him. College was tough.I slept constantly. I worked 2 jobs on campus part time and it was draining but I did it. I think us mommas have that unconditional love for our babies from day one and push on no matter for them!

kefttsc · July 2014

I'm not in your position, but I'm sure you are quite nervous, more than the rest of us. Do you have a close friend that can serve as a "partner" through your pregnancy? Someone you can vent to, freak out to, take to appointments, etc.? Maybe that would help?

We are all here for you whenever you need anything! (((hugs)))

XSweetieO0O · July 2014

@krista0290 I'm Catholic too

and the Blessed Mother wasn't married either and look how much us Catholics love her

Seems like God has a plan for your family.

jdonn1023 · July 2014

I had my son at 20, right after I graduated college (I graduated early) he's now 4 and I was a single mom, he is the best little guy, so happy. Now I'm in a great relationship and just found out we're expecting feb 25. everything will work out

smg2302 · July 2014

You definitely have the support of the board. There is also a single parenting board on the bump. They may be able to give you insight in the ways that others cannot. Good luck!

munchkin8590 · July 2014

I was a single mom with my first. I'm not in your situation now but I have been. Its tough but you can do it! Were all here for you!

HeyStVincent · July 2014

@Buckeyemomma - know that you are not alone and you are in good company. You can do this. I hope you have people around you that are supportive (friends or family) who you can go to when times are tough. That's going to be so important for you.

Many, many women find themselves as single moms and do just fine. There's no reason to believe you'll be any different. The fact that you're worried is already a good sign that you'll do well because you care.

As a side note, are you at Ohio State? If so, you should see what resources the University offers - it's a huge academic institution and I'm sure they've got some support options for their pregnant students!

PeaceofKia · July 2014

@buckeyemomma, I was 21 and a senior in college when pregnant with my daughter. I was dating her dad at the time but we brok eup by the time she was 8 weeks old. All I can say is build a support system that's going to be there for you, whether it be family, friends, professors. You're not completely alone even if you feel that way sometimes.

smg2302 · July 2014

You definitely have the support of the board. There is also a single parenting board on the bump. They may be able to give you insight in the ways that others cannot. Good luck!

nycminas · July 2014

im kinda single because my soon to be husband is away until October : (

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