Lightning crotch and other things I should know about pregnancy

Ducktale · July 2014

So in the "how you know your pregnant" thread, I was horrified to find out about a little known phenomenon called lightning crotch. Which leads me to wonder what other secrets pregnant ladies are hiding. So...spill it. What other little known dirty little secrets can I expect from being pregnant/giving birth/recovering? What did no one tell you? What were you surprised to find out? Give it to me straight. I need the truth. Edited because I guess I don't know how to spell

AshleyKars · July 2014

It's not as bad as it may sound...you'll feel lots of pulls/tugs and towards the end you'll feel some sharp pains in your crotch...you'll be fine!

Mom2DrG · July 2014

I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you (yet).

Allie429 · July 2014

No one told me how long you bleed afterwards. Thank goodness I took the huge pads from the hospital but had to get more myself.

Don't laugh (recovery)-It feels like your vagina will just drop out and stitches will burst open (if you have stitches that is)- I would have to basically hold myself down there if I watched something funny

You hear the horror stories of pooping on the table. Completely normal (read/heard it is a good sign you are pushing correctly). Honestly-if I hadn't been told I had done it (TWICE!), I never would have known. Husband and nurse never said a word or acted like it happened until I made a comment and they confessed I had. I was mortified for 5 secs then didn't care-don't even sweat it!

mandamoochie · July 2014

CrazyCornball said:
Pooping after giving birth is almost worse than giving birth.

Truth!

bhjones1980 · July 2014

CrazyCornball said:

Pooping after giving birth is almost worse than giving birth.

This was going to be mine, it was awful, terrifying, traumatizing

Also the feeling right after you give birth like your organs are just floating around in your adomen as they get re situated is bleeech!

starrynight1658 · July 2014

You will become obsessed with your mucus plug.

Ditto the first post partum poop. Terrifying.

Post partum hormones are no joke.

Everyone has a pregnancy and labor horror story that they're all too willing to share with you. Smile and nod while they're talking, and know that your story will not match theirs, and one day the torch will be passed and you'll be scaring the shit out of other FTMs. The horror stories are quickly forgotten because lots of us do it again

expectingtofly · July 2014

ahhh lightening crotch... always seems to get you when your out shopping or walking in a crowded place. you will feel a sharp sudden pain inside your vagina that causes your knees to buckle and clamp together, you will probably question whether you are giving birth early or not, but rest assured this pain is somehow normal, just think of it as a sneak preview of what labor is going to feel like :-O

other notable mentions: -peeing yourself a little every time you cough, sneeze, laugh, get up to fast, get up to slow, etc.. -projectile vomiting, most common in later months of pregnancy, your stomach is now a whoopie cushion and baby decides when it goes off, (note: dont be like me and go through the mcd's drive through before checking into labour and delivery)

I'll edit this later if i can remember anything else, my brain may be blocking things out of my memory for my own protection

SallyAnneS · July 2014

During your 2nd and 3rd trimester you will sweat/leak pee and your undies will always seem wet. This is normal (i wish someone had told me the before i decided my water had started to leak and went to the er)

Hemroids don't always go away.

PikoPiko · July 2014

Oh my, my hubby would NEVER let me live it down if (when) I poop on the table... maybe he should be banned from the birthing process for my dignity for years to come.

ambmama · July 2014

I strongly agree with the pp pooping. It was not fun. Also - take all of the ice packs, disposable underwear, and mega pads that the hospital will give you. Invest in a large supply of tucks pads (they are for hemorrhoids but they were awesome for the pain).

A lighter note - you will ask your SO a million times when you start feeling the baby kick to come feel it. They won't feel a thing. It takes quite a while for that motion to be felt on the outside and not just inside. However, it eventually got to the point that if I hugged my DH in bed, he could feel the kicking in his side.

topolina1215 · July 2014

I was surprised that motherhood would make me feel like such a badass

Now when the going gets tough, I just think - I was capable of bring a small human into the world and recovering from an unexpected c-section, I was capable of nursing that small human for 10 months (far longer than I expected), and I was capable of surviving the sleep-deprived newborn stage...this is nothin'!

stellasoo · July 2014

All of this stuff sounds worse than the 1st tri symptoms.

Oem617 · July 2014

Our plan the entire time was to have DH at my head and not look down. Never look down there. Yeah, that pretty much went out the window, as the nurse had him helping me push. He saw everything. Good news is he got to embrace it and see our son come into this world in a way he never would have expected.

Mom2DrG · July 2014

sarabell52 said:
Not all of these things happen to all people.

This is true.

I got really bad Charlie horses on my calves in 2nd and 3rd tri. Almost always at night. Found that I was pointing my toes to stretch and that was setting them off but if I flexed them upward first it didn't happen. So weird.

Edited to add words and letters

Jay_Cee · July 2014

Buy yourself some dermoplast. Spray it on your vag as often as needed after giving birth. You will thank me.

If you nurse, you will learn about cracked nipples, contractions while nursing for the first few days-week, and letting down when you are not prepared. Buy some breast pads to stick in your bra, too.

Sometimes baby kicks HURT.

All sense of privacy goes out the window when you are in labor. Nurses and doctors were walking in and out while I was pushing. I didn't even bat an eye. Oh, you want to see me push a watermelon out my vagina? Come on over!

Oh, and after labor the nurse will come push on your stomach numerous times. It will make fluids come out, and they will look in your mesh undies to see what it looks like.

ambmama · July 2014

ChickenOnSunday said:

Also agreed that I didn't know about the bleeding afterwards.

Lightening crotch sucked.

My legs also had "electric shocks" run through them when sitting on the couch with my legs up. I usually ended up having to elevate my legs above my heart. Also happened when sitting in the car for extended periods.

The random hairs and skin tags that appear during pregnancy.

The dark line down your abdomen.

Your feet can grow.

Your hair can suddenly go curly.

Afterwards, due to hormones, you have crazy night sweats.

My eyes were very goopy b/c of hormones.

Hmmmmmmmm....that might be all I remember.

Ah, I almost forgot about the linea nigra (aka the dark line down your belly). I was a bit upset about this when it happened but thought it would go away immediately. NOPE! It didn't go away until I was done BFing!

bhjones1980 · July 2014

Jay_Cee said:

Buy yourself some dermoplast. Spray it on your vag as often as needed after giving birth. You will thank me.

Dermoplast is the shit! they gave me two bottles of it to take home from the hospital and it saved my life.

mandamoochie · July 2014

Jay_Cee said:
Buy yourself some dermoplast. Spray it on your vag as often as needed after giving birth. You will thank me.

If you nurse, you will learn about cracked nipples, contractions while nursing for the first few days-week, and letting down when you are not prepared. Buy some breast pads to stick in your bra, too.

Sometimes baby kicks HURT.

All sense of privacy goes out the window when you are in labor. Nurses and doctors were walking in and out while I was pushing. I didn't even bat an eye. Oh, you want to see me push a watermelon out my vagina? Come on over!

So true about the privacy... like with everything going on it completely didnt phase me about anyone seeing anything really. And im typically a super private person.

mahalo3 · July 2014

This is all tramatizing to read.

mandamoochie · July 2014

Lol we're obviously all here again so its not that bad

krispy83 · July 2014

Ditto that not everything happens to everyone. I never had RLP or lightning crotch.

@ChickenOnSunday - I forgot about the goopy eyes! I went to the doctor because I thought I had an eye infection. One of those weird random side effects. Ugh, I always felt like my eye looked gross.

Also got really bad Charlie horses through much of pregnancy, always in the middle of the night.

The pain from birth and stitches (if you need them) was insane for the first week PP. It was much worse when I got home from the hospital because I was up and moving around a lot more. I felt like I had been ripped apart, which technically I guess I had... Anyway, the first week was rough but I was amazed at how much better I felt after that first week. Take whatever pain meds you are offered - I was dumb and didn't so I mostly managed with Tylenol.

Your hair will (most likely) fall out after you give birth. I seriously felt like I was going bald. My hairline was suuuuper thin. It's the drawback of the thick, gorgeous pregnancy hair that so many of us get - once the hormones decrease it falls out. Eventually it grows back, but then I had all these random little fuzzy fine hairs growing in. Good times. Also happens again to a much lesser degree when you stop BFing for some people (didn't happen to me, but I know it happens to many).

michelle142 · July 2014

Let's see...

Stretch marks can show up during/after labor

Snissing in 3rd tri may become a regular thing

That thing about enjoying your sleep before baby comes - it usually ends around 34 weeks. Because at that point you're too uncomfortable to sleep. You may even sob to your husband because you're so exhausted and he's a big stupid jerk because he's sleeping away and you can't.... not that I'm speaking from experience or anything :-\"

You'll probably sweat like a pig after LO is born. And you'll be too tired to even care if you stink.

When baby is using your bladder as a trampoline, you never want to be more than 10 steps away from a restroom.

michelle142 · July 2014

bhjones1980 said:

Jay_Cee said:

Buy yourself some dermoplast. Spray it on your vag as often as needed after giving birth. You will thank me.

Dermoplast is the shit! they gave me two bottles of it to take home from the hospital and it saved my life.

Thiiiisssss OMG Dermoplast is the most amazing thing ever.

cinnamonsugar · July 2014

Don't forget lightning BOOB! I've been having this already. It feels like a sharp zap of pain through the boob and can sometimes take your breath. But it's totally benign. Some people have it. Some people don't. I think it's the tissue expanding it something.

Ducktale · July 2014

jaztastic · July 2014

FTM, but all my besties pretty much have kids and Ive been in more labors than I think I wouldve liked. Most of these Im familiar with, but lightening crotch is a new one for me.

I had no idea that UTIs and nose bleeds were "common" in pregnancy.

mamabisme · July 2014

krispy83 said:
Ditto that not everything happens to everyone. I never had RLP or lightning crotch.

@ChickenOnSunday - I forgot about the goopy eyes! I went to the doctor because I thought I had an eye infection. One of those weird random side effects. Ugh, I always felt like my eye looked gross.

Also got really bad Charlie horses through much of pregnancy, always in the middle of the night.

The pain from birth and stitches (if you need them) was insane for the first week PP. It was much worse when I got home from the hospital because I was up and moving around a lot more. I felt like I had been ripped apart, which technically I guess I had... Anyway, the first week was rough but I was amazed at how much better I felt after that first week. Take whatever pain meds you are offered - I was dumb and didn't so I mostly managed with Tylenol.

Your hair will (most likely) fall out after you give birth. I seriously felt like I was going bald. My hairline was suuuuper thin. It's the drawback of the thick, gorgeous pregnancy hair that so many of us get - once the hormones decrease it falls out. Eventually it grows back, but then I had all these random little fuzzy fine hairs growing in. Good times. Also happens again to a much lesser degree when you stop BFing for some
people (didn't happen to me, but I know it happens to many).

The hair loss sucks! To this day, I have 3 different lengths of hair. The long hair that has survived it all short pieces in the front that fell out after dd1 and are still growing back and itty bitty ones that fell out after dd2 and sometimes like to stick straight up. I have to use hair spray when I pull it back, for the gym.

michelle142 · July 2014

Oh! The changes your body goes through can cause you do develop horrendous seasonal allergies. Even when you've never been allergic to anything in your entire life.

I am now allergic to every pollen and dust particle you can imagine. *sneeze*

Frugal11 · July 2014

For real.....terrifying...but Thank you for being real....

PS: I'm such a private person, and ahhh not sure how I am going to handle labor and pooping and goo and then ofcourse sweet baby!!

mamabisme · July 2014

My nipples cracked and bled after the first couple days of BFing dd1. Pack nipple cream in your hospital bag! No one told me this and by the time I got home and started using it, it was too little too late. With dd2 I packed it and used it after every feeding from the first feeding on and it was soooo much more comfortable.

michelle142 · July 2014

I'm a private person too.

However, when you are in agonizing pain pushing a baby out of your lady bits. You really don't give two shits about privacy. It's a free for all!

Frugal11 · July 2014

I guess it'll be a valentine's day present for all!

stellasoo · July 2014

Jay_Cee said:

Oh, and after labor the nurse will come push on your stomach numerous times. It will make fluids come out, and they will look in your mesh undies to see what it looks like.

What??? This is horrifying. Do I even want to know what the deal is with mesh undies?

Irishcurls · July 2014

Guys. Sorry. I've seen this too many times. I need details. WHY is first post-birth poop bad? The whole area is just a mess? Or the actual poo is a mess? Or....just give it to me straight.

bhjones1980 · July 2014

Irishcurls said:

Guys. Sorry. I've seen this too many times. I need details. WHY is first post-birth poop bad? The whole area is just a mess? Or the actual poo is a mess? Or....just give it to me straight.

I think birth (or maybe for me the Epidural) slows down your digestive system so you are super constipated, combined with a VERY sore nether region with possible stitches, swelling, etc.

it is just a BAD combo

I was legit crying

Irishcurls · July 2014

bhjones1980 said:

Irishcurls said:

Guys. Sorry. I've seen this too many times. I need details. WHY is first post-birth poop bad? The whole area is just a mess? Or the actual poo is a mess? Or....just give it to me straight.

I think birth (or maybe for me the Epidural) slows down your digestive system so you are super constipated, combined with a VERY sore nether region with possible stitches, swelling, etc.

it is just a BAD combo

I was legit crying

Aha, gotcha. I wasn't sure if it was difficult to go or tooooo easy to go. I could see either being a problem. Yay!

dreemkin84 · July 2014

Peeing after birth burns like a mother.

I second PPs: stock up on the spray, tucks pads, and big ass pads after birth. and I loved the warm water in the bottle to spray on/up there.

I never looked down there afterward until I felt like I was healed and I'm glad I didn't!!

michelle142 · July 2014

stellasoo said:

Jay_Cee said:

Oh, and after labor the nurse will come push on your stomach numerous times. It will make fluids come out, and they will look in your mesh undies to see what it looks like.

What??? This is horrifying. Do I even want to know what the deal is with mesh undies?

The mesh undies hold the super ginormous pad in place. That's all. They're actually not bad.

dreemkin84 · July 2014

stellasoo said:

Jay_Cee said:

Oh, and after labor the nurse will come push on your stomach numerous times. It will make fluids come out, and they will look in your mesh undies to see what it looks like.

What??? This is horrifying. Do I even want to know what the deal is with mesh undies?

The undies are able to stretch to accommodate a large pad and the ice packs (heavenly). Also they are thin and easy to hand wash if they get bloody. I got two pairs in the hospital: one to wear while the other pair was drying from being washed and so on.

michelle142 · July 2014

Ohhh I forgot about the ice packs. The hospital I delivered at last time had a combo super pad/ice pack. So nice.

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