I want to apologize in advance for this...I try to be positive and I hate that I am struggling so much, but in this moment, I have to get my feelings out.
18 months is hard. Having a toddler is hard. Toddlers are hard!
We have so many tantrums, so many opinions, so much whining and so many tears over nothing! I know this is totally normal toddler behavior. And, in between moments that are so hard, they are countless wonderful, sweet, funny, incredible moments. I LOVE this little girl with every fiber of my being, and maybe I'm having such a hard time because I am not really ready emotionally to actually be in this stage (as opposed to the baby stage). I don't know. I truly didn't expect to have a hard time like this, I knew there would be hard things, for sure, but not like this.
I think the cusp of my frustrations are around bedtimes. We used to have a great routine and I looked forward to rocking, cuddling and then putting DD down. It was easy and I loved it. In the last month, DD has taken to screaming every time I put her down. Naps and bedtime are absolutely horrible and I am at my wits end! Tonight, she fell asleep in the ergo on our walk, so I took her to her room, held her for a while, then put her in her bed. Two minutes later, she was awake and screaming. I thought she was probably scared since that isn't our normal, so I went upstairs and nursed her, and tried to rock her to sleep more, but she was kicking and flailing, so I put her back into her crib and she screamed for a good 20 minutes. This is just one example. Every bedtime for the past few weeks has been like this. As she's screaming, I feel myself becoming so frustrated and I feel like I'm failing my daughter. It's just wearing at heart and I am exhausted.
I feel so badly even expressing these feelings, and I hate that I may come across as negative about motherhood for even a second. I love being a mom, but this is really kicking my butt and I just want to know I'm not alone.
Re: This is hard.
We're facing it in a couple ways. First, she's now become one of the biters at daycare. While I know it's part of this stage and is because she doesn't know how to deal with her frustration, I still feel bad when I pick her up and get told that she bit another child. Our pedi agreed that it's a phase and consistently saying no if she bites us is best, but it doesn't make it easier.
Second, bedtime has gotten to be tough. She wants to be carried around until she falls asleep, but I don't have the energy by the end of the night to carry her for a half hour plus (plus, the baby bump is increasingly getting in the way). Sometimes she'll let me rock her to sleep, but she more often wants to play, etc. Sometimes I give in bc (this sounds horrible) it's easier than fighting with her. I normally regret it though bc she ends up an over tired mess.
I'm hoping that she grows out of this stage quickly. Anyone have any guesses on when they turn into more rational little humans?
Our bed time has been a minimum of 1-2 hours lately. Nap time too. I'm so over it. Wine helps.
I've been avoiding outside time, I know I know, because runs or flips out when I won't let her steal toys from neighbors yards or run in the road. But then if we get enough outdoor play, she goes to sleep easier, it's a catch 22.
Hang in there.
We will all get through it. And I'm glad to see someone else has 1-2 hours of getting LO to sleep. I just sit in her room next other crib foreeeeeever in the dark waiting for her to fall asleep and it drives me nuts.
DD#1 December '12
DD#2 New Year's Baby '15
Married 07/09
The tantrums are tough but talking to other moms with slightly older LOs I think it will get easier in some ways as the communication skills increase. DD will sometimes ask for milk when I pick her up from daycare. When I try to tell her that I don't have any but I will get her some when we get home I think she just interprets that as me not understanding what she wants. Soon I think she will better understand that I just can't do it right now but will soon and it won't feel so end of the world to her.
I do love all of the hugs and kisses I'm getting.
I tried totally ignoring DD with her tantrum tonight. It was very difficult, and she threw herself around her room (with me sitting in the chair waiting for her to be done) for way longer than I thought she would, but, as soon as she was done, I took her onto my lap and we snuggled and I was able to rock my baby to sleep again.
One day, one moment at a time!
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and camaraderie!
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