DCP Update

CinemaGoddess · June 2014

First of all, thanks for all the help and support yesterday. It really helped.

A little backstory before I tell the tale: On Tuesday night at pickup, DH mentioned to the girls favorite teacher that we were going to pull the girls from daycare. The teacher was taken aback and asked why. DH told her that it was because they couldn't handle N and teacher was surprised. She had no idea any of this was going on in the other class.

Anywho.

When I got there yesterday, the director told me that she hadn't communicated herself properly. She took me into her office and two other teachers, N's teacher and the morning teacher joined us.

The director apologized profusely and said that when she said they couldn't handle N, it meant that they couldn't handle her from a preschool perspective, not from a daycare perspective. She said that they think she needs a different environment for preschool and, if we found a preschool for her, they would be willing to transport her to and from if we weren't able to do it.

Then the four of us started talking about what to do about N's tantrums. We came to the following agreements:

1. The girls would switch classes for a week starting today to see how things go. N's teacher said that part of the problem, she thinks, is that her room is split with the older kids (Pre-K) and N has a tendency to wander around instead of sitting down for circle time. She doesn't harm anything, she just walks around and spins, usually while singing. Her new classroom is smaller and more contained so she has fewer places to wander.

2. They said it was a good idea to get her assessed by the school district and DH is in the process of getting that set up, but it will take a few months.

3. They also said it was a good idea to have N see a therapist. They said that these behaviors had been happening for months before the accident but got progressively worse, especially the morning tantrums, since the accident. They also said that if we wanted someone to come in and evaluate her at school, they are more than willing to accommodate us.

4. Since N is an extremely picky eater and we (DH and I) think that might be contributing to things (we think she's getting hangry on the regular), we're going to start packing N's lunch for her with foods we know she'll eat, so at least she'll eat something throughout the day. Right now, she's basically picking at her food and only really eating the fruit and sometimes the crackers they have for snacks. My jerk toddler eats crackers, literally. lolz.

5. Someone mentioned yesterday about having N bring something from home that is mine so she can wear it. After a bit of discussion, I mentioned possibly bringing a picture of the four of us and of my parents, since those are her favorite people. Eventually we decided that DH and I would print off some picture, put them in a small picture album, and put it in her cubby. That way, when she has her freakouts, the teacher can let her flip through the book and see us and it might calm her down.

6. They're still concerned about the tantrums at drop off and we really don't know what to do about that. They said they're not sure why she would be afraid of school but they'll do their best to assure her that DH and I will come back to get her at the end of the day and the director said that, if they needed to, they would call me or DH and let N talk to us on the phone for a little bit to calm her down. DH and I started brainstorming last night about the dropoff routine and we have a couple of ideas in mind to help N with dropoff. We're also hoping the therapist can give us some pointers.

7. Lastly, I requested that we get daily and weekly reports about N, specifically about her tantrums. We asked that the trigger, the duration of the tantrum, and the teacher's response be included in the reports so we know and so that we can share that information with the person who assesses her for the school district and the therapist.

All in all, it was a good meeting. We're going to keep both girls there for the time being since we have a plan of action and also because of my job situation. We really don't want to switch them to a new place because we think it might make N's issues worse right now.

tl;dr: It was a good meeting and we're keeping the girls at the DC for the time being.

CinemaGoddess · June 2014

Yeah, we feel better @nellybluth. We've been so stressed out for the last week thinking things were so wrong with N that the place was kicking her out. It's a relief to know that they're not doing that and we don't have to search for a new DC right now.

It's a lot easier to move forward with getting her help now that the a possible DC switch is off the table.

NotSharknado · June 2014

Awesome. I'm glad you guys have a plan in place!

FalconCrest · June 2014

That sounds like it was a good meeting! The Kissing Hand is a fantastic book. You may also want to have her watch the Daniel Tiger episode about grownups always come back. That Daniel Tiger is magic.

SCSmith2011 · June 2014

I'm so glad to hear the meeting went that well. Although they did a shitty job in advance of communicating with you guys it seems like a lot of good discussion happened and you have good plans in place going forward.

CinemaGoddess · June 2014

LoisLayn23 said:

One thing that has helped us with Tessa (because she's awful at transitions) is give her ample time and we've also created a little booklet that shows her daily routine. So she knows when she wakes up that she gets breakfast and then we get ready and go to daycare. She can look at the booklet and see it and flip through the pages to see what's next, which really helps her prepare her mind for the next activity. If she's surprised by it (even if we do it every day but we haven't explicitly TOLD her we're doing it) she flips and melts down.

Oh this is a good idea. I picked up a "chore chart" thing yesterday and we're going to start using that in the mornings for both girls to keep them focused instead of deciding to play with their toys or talk to DH when he's in the bathroom.

studyinpink · June 2014

Glad it went well and you guys have a plan that you feel good about.

ravenclaw1 · June 2014

Sounds like a really good meeting. I'm happy they're trying to work with you and not kicking her out. Seems like everyone is on board to make the experience a good and fun one.

MrsT0514 · June 2014

So glad to see this update. Sounds like they were much more effective this time at working with you towards a solution instead throwing hands up in the air and claiming "they cant handle her". Best of luck with everything, and I hope you get the best possible outcome!

Rach7170 · June 2014

I'm so glad that the meeting went well!

msdrdg · June 2014

Sounds like a really productive meeting.
Hope things get better for N soon.

martha919 · June 2014

It sounds like it went really well, and I'm so glad. I know I'm a newb here and you don't know me, but I've seen the struggle here and I'm so relieved for you to have had such a productive discussion with DCP.

angelashly · June 2014

FalconCrest said:
That sounds like it was a good meeting! The Kissing Hand is a fantastic book. You may also want to have her watch the Daniel Tiger episode about grownups always come back. That Daniel Tiger is magic.

Daniel Tiger seriously helped us during some separation anxiety episodes. She still a year later says grown ups come back.

Glad you had a good meeting and that they worked with you.

RondackHiker · June 2014

I'm so glad the meeting went well and that you feel more comfortable!

ASmallWonder · June 2014

That sounds like a really good, productive meeting! It's unfortunate she wasn't clear from the get go though and caused you guys so much angst while waiting for the meeting.

jorkz821 · June 2014

Glad it went well and that you have some plans in place going forward. You must feel a bit relieved!

LadyXaverian · June 2014

This is a great update!

TheBub · June 2014

I agree with @LoisLane23. I was horrible at transitions as a kid...and still am. I really liked knowing the schedule for the day (broken down as much as possible) and the menu (I was also picky and stressed about not having anything I liked to eat).

I really feel for her regarding the transitions. Definitely get something that she can remember you by. Maybe a bracelet or a shoe charm, something that won't get in her way, but still be accessible at all times. I love the picture book idea, but she mayneed something that doesn't take her away from the group too.

Also, thank you to whoever suggested the Kissing Hand book. Both of my kids are starting new schools this year and it will be a great read for them!

CinemaGoddess · June 2014

She freaked out this morning before they even left the house. DH called me and had me talk to her for a few minutes and we decided to let her take a picture of DH and I and another one of my parents down from our picture wall and take them to school with her.

That calmed her down some.

cyprissa · June 2014

Awesome news! I thought of one thing that really helps us with difficult days when he doesn't want to go to school for whatever reason. We let him pick a set of stickers to take to share with his friends and that somehow motivates him to get out the door and gives him something to look forward to at drop off. Not sure if it would work for you guys but thought I'd share.

ridesbuttons · June 2014

That sounds like a really productive meeting. Always difficult with young children when you are only getting bits of information here and there rather than a thorough discussion with involved parties who have the child's best interest at heart.

Best of luck.

Whenigrowup · June 2014

I'm glad it went well and that they were so open and responsive. I hope some of the strategies help her when she gets upset.

[Deleted User] · June 2014

I am glad the discussion was productive and you have a game plan.

ILoveBoys · June 2014

How wonderful to hear they're not as lame as you thought! What a relief you and DH must feel!

Does she have a lovey/blankie or anything like that she could take to DC with her to help comfort her? Even if just for a while?

Want a personalized experience?

DCP Update

Re: DCP Update

Choose Another Board

Search Boards