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**shopgirl78** - teacher stuff

neverblushedneverblushed member
in School-Aged Children
I read your post on the "requesting teachers" thread.  I didn't want to hijack the thread, but I had to write back to share your pain!  I teach  in a private secondary school.  Parents are not allowed to request teachers at my school, but some of it goes on anyway.  It's not that the parents can just request whoever they want; it's that the people who make the schedule within the school will sometimes rig things instead of letting the kids fall into classes randomly.  It happens when the parents are either VIPs in the school community or known PITAs. 

But I hear you about the imbalance in class composition.  I have a reputation with the administrators and guidance counselors at my school for running a very tight ship and being great with parent communication.  Give you one guess which teacher gets the lion's share of difficult kids and parents!  It's like the reward for doing a good job is that the school makes your job even HARDER!!  It does get to be a stressful drain, when you know that certain people have requested you.  The other thing that is unsettling is when you have a good rapport with an older sibling, and the parents beg the school to put the younger sibling with you... and then you can't seem to hit it off with the younger one.  It's just awkward all around, because you know the parents are disappointed. 

I had that happen with a family a few years ago.  Their daughter just lives, eats, and breathes schoolwork.  English is her favorite subject, and she did really well in my Honors level class.  The next year I had her younger brother, who I think was put into the level on based on pressure from the parents and the assumption that the family smarts just hadn't manifested in the brother yet.  (For the record, I disagree with this type of logic when making placements, but I don't teach the grade below, so it's not up to me.)  Turns out the younger brother was fairly smart, but had a deep aversion to doing any kind of homework.  All year, his parents kept insisting that something was wrong, and I kept saying, "Yes -- something IS wrong.  Your son won't read the books or do any writing assignments.  It's a problem for sure."  I don't think that was the "problem" they were interested in hearing about, somehow....
High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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Re: **shopgirl78** - teacher stuff

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    shopgirl78shopgirl78 member
    Yeah, I kinda went on a rant in that post. Ha! I just find it really annoying that they make us, the teachers, make the new classrooms and they let anyone request anything. Change it all. Even though, we have valid points as to why this isn't a good idea. Furthermore, i see every 5th grader. They will all be in each of the 5th grade classes for the core. However, this is an issue that extends beyond class placement in my school which is why its really frustrating. My P often sides with parents breaking campus and district rules. Get this, 8 days til the end of the school year, I had a parent demand that their son sit by his BFF. I had already told the kids, the last 5 days they could sit where they want. I almost fought this tooth and nail but I wasn't sure my P would side w me and is the fight really worth 3 days. I keep hoping I didn't shoot myself in the foot for being a pushover as we have a THAT parent entering 5th. THAT parent has to be removed from her 11 year olds classroom daily at 830. Helicopter!!!

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    neverblushedneverblushed member
    Holy moly!  Unsurprisingly, at the private school where I teach, we have some pretty good examples of helicopter parenting as well.

    I taught a kid this past year that I was initially told was "so anxious" that if he needed to go to the nurse or guidance I was never to question it.  I should always let this kid out of my class when he asked, no matter what.  Nothing about this description matched what I was seeing in class, which was an impulsive kid who was very interested in testing boundaries and seemed fairly confident.  Now, I know that particularly in boys, anxiety can hide under brash, provoking behavior, so I kept an open mind about it, but my gut was telling me there was something weird about everyone's perceptions of this kid. 

    Turns out it's the kid's MOM who has the anxiety.  Rumor has it she would come to school with him in 5th grade and hold him on her lap because he was "so anxious."  Yikes!
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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    shopgirl78shopgirl78 member
    Zomg! Poor kid! I'm not sure how my helicopter mom's kid is. So it will be interesting; hoping she'll pick one of my teammates home room. The 4th grade home room teacher was exhausted and frustrated by this one parent. She's usually very level. I had 4 that had endless nurse permission. None abused it but my sub once told one to wait until another returned and I got an ear full over that.

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