Pregnant after 35
shellylovelee
member
You knew you were done having babies when...
shellylovelee
member
I really don't know where to post this... I am not pregnant, nor are we TTC. I recently posted about my fear of not seeing my babes grow into adulthood.
I care about your opinion on these boards the most - moms 35+ - so I'm posting this question here.
My DH and I are considering him getting a vasectomy. I am 40 he is 45, we have a 2 1/2 DS and a 16 mos DD. He also has two teenage daughters from a precious marriage (non custodial). DH is soooo d.o.n.e. Financial, logistical, age issues are his very valid reasons. I agree with him that it would be tough. Very tough. And we are tired. Soooooo tired.
I am torn. Part of me thinks these two babes make a sweet little completeness to our family. We've even gotten rid of baby stuff already. The other part of me wants one more. My head feels done, my body feels done, but my heart wants one more. How did/will you make the decision?
(Sorry...mobile version won't display my paragraph returns)
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Re: You knew you were done having babies when...
I don't know. I didn't really "know." We are overwhelmed already. I am 39 and DH is 41. I also worry about age and not seeing kids as far into adulthood as I would like. I worried about taking on risks again with another pregnancy and baby--opening the door again to all kinds of issues. I didn't really want to go through infancy and breastfeeding again and kind of hold us back from other things. Plus the expenses. So my head also said I should be done. At the same time, I just wasn't sure I was "done," and I kept kind of hoping to accidentally get pregnant (which was crazy). I kept thinking that four in the long term would be really cool. I kept wondering if we would later regret not having tried to have four. So, we decided to give it a crazy shot in April so that I would deliver just before 40, and it worked! I'm scared and also excited and just keep thinking that this baby is meant to be. I KNOW that this is my max, so I do KNOW now that we will be done (unless we had some kind of crazy accident)! I was really on the fence, though. I was a tough decision and we didn't really all the way "decide." I KNEW with number three that I absolutely was 100% sure about trying again but this time was much more "are we crazy? I don't know what to do!" Meanwhile the clock was ticking.
Good luck, whatever you decide.
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
That being said, I could not put my family through another pregnancy. We spent years building a plan to make it through this one with as little stress as possible.