When will I adjust to this new life?

norab2684 · June 2014

I am having a hard time trying to adjust to life as a mom. I go through times when I don't even want to hold my baby because I feel like I just can't handle this new life. She is 5.5 weeks old, totally adorable, but I don't know how to really bind yet.
I of course feel totally guilty for feeling this way. I want to just be a natural at this but on days when she doesn't nap until 5pm and I'm dealing with her ALL day long I get so anxious and overwhelmed. I sometimes yearn for my old life.
Anyone else feel this way? How do you cope? Anything that made you feel better?
I am on 75 mg of zoloft which seemed to be helping but now I'm back to feeling anxious.

deanna1313 · June 2014

My little one is only 3weeks tomorrow, but I have the same issue with missing my old life. I feel like I ruined a great thing my husband and I had going. I feel horrible guilt for feeling this way, but I do. I love my baby, but I have never been good with change and having a baby is a huge change. I'm hoping it gets easier as time passes.

We all get frustrated with our little ones and need a break. That's completely normal for anyone. After being with him all day I do get to the point where I need a break and it makes me anxious.
Hang in there. How long have you been on Zoloft? I'm not on it, but the dr told me it take 2weeks to be effective.

momthatlifts · June 2014

I feel like this a lord too. I absolutely miss my old life when it was just me and dh and we were happy and in love. We love each other but don't have that cute playful spark we used to have. I really like it's ruined now that there is a baby. I love her deeply and have been doing much better lately though. My bond is starting to show up. But I still dwell on the past sometimes and feel homesick. Like I just can't get used to this huge change and I don't like it

deanna1313 · June 2014

@JKBMA2014‌ I have the same feelings. Mine have gotten better gradually so I'm hoping they continue to get better. It's really hard to know that things won't ever be the same.

I do feel like I'm closer to the baby and my husband said he can really tell that there is a difference with me.

Do you guys feel bad all daily long or would you say you have a couple bad spells during the day? Just curious.

norab2684 · June 2014

How far PP are you ladies? I'm 6 weeks tomorrow. Just wondering how long it took you girls to feel better. I had a few days where I felt good but the last 4 have been really bad.
@deanna1313‌ I have a really hard time in the morning because I know I have the entire day ahead if me. The days feel so long. I am EBF so it's hard to really go out and do things. Even if I do I need to be home within about an hour because she starts to fuss and want to eat. I'm not comfortable BF in public. What do u girls do to fill your day?
My husband has been working 7 days a week which had been really hard. It's really taking a toll on our relationship.

deanna1313 · June 2014

@norab2684‌ I am 3 weeks pp. I am also breastfeeding and supplementing with formula until I am able to pump more. ( dr wanted to make sure baby is getting enough) I refuse to nurse in public and it makes it hard to get out as much as I would like.
I have the same issue every morning thinking I have to do this all over again today. Late afternoon can be tough, too. I really feel like my normal self when I go out and see friends and family. Went to a party today and felt almost 100%. It's really strange.

I wish I could do more in my day. I feel like I breast feed every hour and get absolutely nothing done!

norab2684 · June 2014

@deanna1313‌ I hate breastfeeding. I feel like she's stitched to me constantly and to make it worse she's been comfort nursing so it seems like the only thing that comforts her is being on the boob. I feel like I can't get away from her. She won't take a pacifier so it's really frustrating.

deanna1313 · June 2014

Yes! Same thing here. He nurses constantly and it's do boring and I swear it makes me feel worse at times.

yvanehtnioj · June 2014

I did not like nursing @deanna1313‌ and @norab2684‌ for the reasons you described. I started pumping so I could go in public and let my husband do a night feeding. Made a huge difference! I liked pumping so much (less pain, more freedom) that I switched to pumping all the time.

I felt like BFing was affecting my time
with the baby. I dreaded him needing to feed, and almost resented it. He is not an efficient nurser so he would just be on my boob for 30-40 minutes each side, causing pain and then crying when I tried to pull him off (further making me feel like a failure). Anyway I just wanted to let you know that a difficult nursing relationship can affect your feelings towards your baby and you are not alone with that.

deanna1313 · June 2014

Thanks @yvanehtnioj‌. Yeah, my little guy is on each side for a good 30-40 and I have to keep waking him to suck. He also drinks both boobs at every feeding or he's not satisfied. On top of that, he's wanting to eat every 1-2 hours and we are also giving him formula at some feedings which seems to make him more content.
Breastfeeding has been annoying me lately and I'm taking it one day at a time.

poohbear033 · June 2014

Breastfeeding was part of the reason I struggled. It didn't end up working out for me and I was upset over it for a long time. DD was also born in December and we had a terrible winter. I felt trapped. Is it possible for you to just get outside and take a walk? You could stay out as long as you fell comfortable and then get back to feed.

When will I adjust to this new life?

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