Update 2 - C Section today
Thank you for the Immense support you've all given me. It means more than I can put into words. ❤
I'm relaxing & mentally prepping in my hospital room as we await an emergency c section. Sadly, Our little girl isn't doing very well. Just found out on ultrasound yesterday & it was confirmed again this morning. Ironically, my liver levels have also climbed, so it was a quick decision by neonatal, maternal fetal medicine & obstetrics that today is the day our baby girl is born. Please keep us in your thoughts & prayers. We have a mountain ahead of us.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your beautiful words, thoughts, wishes, energy, and prayers. It all means so much right now. As we went to bed Saturday night, my husband had his hands on my belly and told our daughter she had to prove she was going to make it. That we needed something. That this was her chance. I cried because it's so hard for him to feel so helpless. And because she was kicking away.
Sunday morning's ultrasound was a small miracle. Our girl showed no further deterioration and in fact had better placenta flow. Sunday was a great day. We felt so relieved and honestly based on what doctors told us - disbelief. We made it to 25 weeks!
I had to go back to ICU Sunday night as my BP had risen & liver levels are tracing up. I am stable again, thankfully. Delivery time is based on my health, or LO. We need to be both remain stable.
I am lying in the hospital bed and again the sun is rising. Tomorrow we have another ultrasound that will show (better) accuracy of her growth as it will have been 10 days the first scan. We have huge anticipation & hopes for this. Please keep us in your positive everything.
I have so much to be thankful for and so much hope. It is day 10 and our baby won't be born today (it is my mantra even day). My husband is a rock and we are luckily in a position that he can be here everyday. We have amazing families and are in a fantastic hospital. And lastly, I joined this amazing online group after I POS ----and to my surprise, they have become a shoulder to lean on in the toughest times. Thank you. ❤
Hello my bump sisters,
***Don't read this if you are prone to over worrying about your LO. I earnestly don't want you stressing unnecessarily.
Where do I begin...
I've been in the hospital for a week now. I had upper chest/sternum pain and mid back pain last weekend. Our midwives took me to the hospital and I was diagnosed with an unusual (only showing high bP as a marker) preeclampsia. I was 23 weeks 6 days when admitted. You can imagine the horror of facing delivery at that gestation. My husband and I have lived every emotion since then: fear, desperation, anger, hope, sadness, grief, and love.
This week has tested my tolerance and endurance for pain - and for the unknown. I've had every test done (heart, kidney, liver, veins, lungs, etc). Through the pain of procedures I've felt joy in our baby's increasingly robust kicks.❤
We have seen our baby on ultrasound 3 times this week. Every time, I look at my husband's tear stained eyes, I know we are thinking the same thing. If it had only been a couple weeks later- our baby would be in NICU fighting. Sadly, at this point our LO is better off inside me then in the world.
We were team Green and had planned on having a natural home waterbirth. In a moment of lightness we joked with each other that our due date is now the real surprise so we asked in our last ultrasound what we were having. Before the Dr told us - I said, "a Girl, right?" --instinctively I knew that all along. We both cried and when she sais yes. Our connection and love for this Baby grew deeper. I don't know why, but it did.
There was hope that we would make it to 25 weeks (even stronger viability) and have ourselves a fighting micro-preemie. I have had steroid shots to develop her lungs & we've had several conversations with internal medicine specialists, geneticists, neonatal teams and several OBs. Their looks say it all.
At our last ultrasound she showed signs of significant distress. So as my health improved this week- hers deteriorated. I know you all can imagine that heartache as moms.
Today we have our final ultrasound. If she hasn't improved, we will go to delivery so that she isn't stillborn. I can't even believe I'm writing this.
It is a nightmare.
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers today. We need all the hope in the world.
I'm looking out my window at the hospital onto the new summer morning and thinking that there is light in darkness - and I hope we have more in our future.
Thank you for your support.