Gearing Up to Say Goodbye (loss mentioned) Update

growinghope · June 2014

I have been going back and forth on if and how to write this. I have enjoyed bumping with this board. This was my first time using the Bump for community and it was a great community to be a part of. I feel like I was just getting in the swing of things when I got hit with a whammy.

I got my BFP on May 1st, according to my LMP my EDD was January 8th. This is the first pregnancy for both DH and I. We had our first OB appointment in May and it was confirmed, pregnant! Our second appointment was Friday the 13th (full moon and everything). This appointment was the first time we were going to hear or see the heartbeat. Well, DH and I went to the appointment and things did not go so well. The Dr. started with the doppler and couldn't find a heartbeat so we moved to the ultrasound and she couldn't find anything. I didn't think to ask more specific questions about what she was or wasn't seeing at the time. She thought perhaps I was not as far along as we thought, but given when I got the BFP and my LMP I wasn't hopeful. She scheduled a viability ultrasound for Wednesday (tomorrow) and told us not to think the worst just yet. Well, after seeing nothing on the screen I started thinking back on my lack of symptoms that has not been so easy. I had noticed throughout the week that my boobs weren't sore anymore and I wasn't having any major symptoms other than exhaustion. I thought perhaps I was just getting close to the 2nd trimester and things were dying down. Over the weekend I just tried to educate myself more and be realistic but hopeful. DH and I talked through many of the possible outcomes from this point and he is very sad but very supportive. I started spotting today and that is pretty much confirming it for me. We will wait and see what the doctor says tomorrow but I am preparing for the worst and I will be happy to be pleasantly surprised if there is a miracle.

All in all, I think this is so long for me. I will update this post with how tomorrow goes. I wish you all very happy and healthy pregnancies and births.

**Update**

Ended up spotting yesterday and bleeding pretty intensely this morning so I went to the doctor early. Everything was confirmed and our little one is gone. My body is responding naturally so I won't need any procedures. I am glad that we had a heads up last Friday and had the weekend to wrap our heads around all of this. Also glad that DH and I have flexible job schedules and he could be with me this whole time. It is still hard, so we will grieve, hold each other up, and move forward. I hope to be back on the boards soon enough. Thank you again ladies and I wish you all of the best!

JosephsSweetie · June 2014

So sorry to hear this. I went through a miscarriage in February that started with spotting. It took 3-4 weeks for my body to finish the process. I hope you get good news on Wednesday, but if you don't know that you are not alone. You can always PM me if you need someone to talk to who's gone through it before. Good luck.

MaPetiteFamille · June 2014

So sorry to hear you're going through this. Fx for you.

hamlett17 · June 2014

I'm so sorry. Loss is so hard

kayham12 · June 2014

Hope all goes well tomorrow. I'm so sorry that this happening.

longcat07 · June 2014

i'm so sorry. i had a loss in april, and like @JosephsSweetie it was over after about 4 days. (((big hugs))) i hope baby was hiding somehow and your doc still finds a gummy bear measuring on target with a strong HB tomorrow and the spotting is nothing, but i understand where you are coming from.

LeadMitten · June 2014

Fx for good news! Sorry you are going through this

GromMom · June 2014

Fx for better news, I'm sorry you are going through this

growinghope · June 2014

Thanks everyone.

No, @christeng87 I didn't ask about the gestational age, but I don't think anything was visible to be able to tell.

Thanks @josephsSweetie. I will take you up on that offer if I find myself in need.

BookitBoo · June 2014

FX for a good ultra sound tomorrow.
T&P for your family

Curbs12 · June 2014

Thinking of you during this time, so sorry you're going through all of this. I went through a very similar situation in February. Prayers for you.

Milagros315 · June 2014

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. T&Ps for you.

IHeartScience · June 2014

Thinking of you

mom2case · June 2014

I'm sorry

mikeANDjen448 · June 2014

I am so so very sorry. It sounds like you are strong, and your husband as well. You and he will be in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow!! (((Hugs)))

KJsbabe · June 2014

I'm so sorry you're going through this ((hugs))

alibc123 · June 2014

So sorry you're dealing with this. FX for a good outcome tomorrow!

kaybeeknits · June 2014

I'm sorry. I hope you get good news tomorrow.

Don't hesitate to learn on the women who can relate. If they offer, they mean it. ((hugs))

luciddreamer106 · June 2014

I'm sorry you're going through this. FX that you get good news at the u/s.

kolaczka · June 2014

Fx

Bigboneded · June 2014

((((Hugs)))) and hope, fx for you and yours, t&p.

luvinlifeMN · June 2014

I'm so incredibly sorry but will pray for a positive outcome today. I miscarried my first pregnancy - if you have any questions or just want to vent, please do not hesitate to do so!

peggels24 · June 2014

I'm so sorry.

Keberly91 · June 2014

I went through the exact same thing with my first pregnancy back in December. I am so nervous this time around. I am almost to the same point in this pregnancy where I miscarried last time. But, just know that it is not your fault at all and that you will most likely go on to have a successful pregnancy in the future. I am so sorry. Take time to grieve, but try to stay positive about the future. Please know that you're not alone and there are so many places that you can find support.