Safe couch-sharing?

justifyyourlove · June 2014

Does anyone have any "safe" couch-sharing experience? I know it's highly advised against for rolling over or suffocation. As with some moms-to-be, I only planned to "put baby on her back alone in the crib" to sleep and that plan obviously didn't happen after endless attempts, different techniques, and extreme fussiness. We only have a full size bed and feel more at risk bed-sharing so unfortunately, I've had to "couch-share" the past few months at night with our colicky baby. I was just wondering anyone who's had some good experience with it even though it's highly advised against.

honkytonk_kid · June 2014

Regal Mama said:

No, no, no.

Could your DH sleep on the couch and you and baby get the bed?

Yeah, this one.

I understand your concern with a full bed, but regardless of how you feel about bed vs couch, they are NOT the same. One can be safe by following recommendations, one is not safe and is never recommended.

Can you side car the crib? Buy another mattress for the floor?

justifyyourlove · June 2014

Thanks for the feedback. Yeah, I fall into a deep sleep on the bed laying flat and seem to sleep much lighter on the couch, more aware of each other and breastfeed reclined throughout the night. We are trying these options.

ellenrunyon · June 2014

I had to sleep on the couch with my colicky baby for about 6 weeks, and honestly, I felt safer than in the bed in the early days. I would hold her belly to belly on my chest and have to sleep at a pretty severe incline to keep her happy. I also lay on my side, facing the outside and put her on the outside, facing me. I cradled my arm around her head, of she laid in the crook of my arm.

I didn't have to worry about suffocation by keeping her on the outside. I suppose she could have fallen on the floor, but anyone w a colicky baby knows you will have plenty of warning before that happens, lol. My dd was a noisy little thing

Good luck! Gerber Soothe probiotic drops worked wonders for our colic.

ncbelle · June 2014

Absolutely NO to couch sharing (and I'm a huge bed sharing advocate) - that's how accidents happen. It's really really really FAR safer to share a safely prepared bed. The couch gives a false sense of security IMO.

ILoveRunning · June 2014

Agree with everyone else that couch sharing is a no-no. Even if you feel like you are sleeping more deeply in bed, if you set up things correctly, the risks will still be lower. We had a tough time from 3-5 months, and the only thing that saved my sanity was co-sleeping. Good luck.

justifyyourlove · June 2014

We tried and have an option with maybe a spare mattress on the floor as opposed to our high-level bed. Does anyone setup an incline with pillows or cushions on the bed to lay back on? Her latch during breastfeeding is so painful when we're both lying down adjacent to each other- unlike sitting at an incline (like the couch arm) where I can hold and position her in my arms against my body and she falls asleep that way.

vvvvvfee · June 2014

i used to use a combination of an L-shaped pillow and a regular pillow to prop myself up for nursing in bed in the early months (with or without a boppy in addition). it's comfortable to fall asleep that way, too. as soon as DS could hold his head up, i just started nursing lying down- i would lay DS across my body, tummy down, to nurse, the far breast, then pull him off a little to nurse the other breast. as soon as they have the strength for it, that is so much easier.

agree with PPs about avoiding the couch. ikea has really inexpensive twin mattresses that you could put on the floor next to your bed. then you can put your mattress directly on the floor, so you are all on the same level. you could also side-car your crib, if you have one (see this recent post for some pics).

sugarbear0524 · June 2014

Regal Mama said:

No, no, no.

Could your DH sleep on the couch and you and baby get the bed?

I wouldn't kick your DH out. That doesn't seem fair to him. A mattress on the floor, pack and play in your room, or a side car crib would be better.

TiffanyBerry · June 2014

Any other solution than couch sharing. ANY.

Please!

ellenrunyon · June 2014

I was thinking more about this question, and all sofas are def not created equal. The sofa I slept on has innerspring cushions and is almost as firm as my mattress. It's also deeper than a twin if I remove the back cushions. That being said, I can think of most of my friends sofas...I would not feel comfortable sleeping there w my precious babe.

TiffanyBerry · June 2014

@ellenrunyon - that's true, but a couch still has a back and arm rests. Those are areas where there is material - firm or not - in two planes (arm rest & seat or back & seat), in which a baby's head can become wedged, causing suffocation. The same thing happens with the problem of a child getting suffocated between mom and the cushion back. Those are things that can't happen on a mattress, because it doesn't have a back or arm rests.

sugarbear0524 · June 2014

Regal Mama said:

sugarbear0524 said:

Regal Mama said:

No, no, no.

Could your DH sleep on the couch and you and baby get the bed?

I wouldn't kick your DH out. That doesn't seem fair to him. A mattress on the floor, pack and play in your room, or a side car crib would be better.

Either way, someone is being kicked out of the bed. I'm pretty sure her husband would prefer sleeping on the couch to his baby sleeping in a dangerous situation. If they can't afford any of the other options, her DH on the couch instead is 100% the safest option.

All I'm saying is to consider what your husband wants. It seems as if a lot of husbands are getting kicked out of their own beds to sleep elsewhere and the moms are making the majority of the decisions. Just work together on a solution.

When we had major sleep issues with our son, asking my DH to sleep elsewhere was not an option I considered. It's our bed (his and mine). We found other options for DS.

tealowl · June 2014

Lurker...

I would also say no to couch sleeping. I did that w/my DD a few times (this was 2001), but I won't ever do it with my second child that's on the way. I wish I would have know then the dangers.

DD did bed share with me though, I slept without pillows/blankets until she got much older just for safety.

For this baby coming, we have a crib side-carred to the bed.

justifyyourlove · June 2014

sugarbear0524 said:

Regal Mama said:

sugarbear0524 said:

Regal Mama said:

No, no, no.

Could your DH sleep on the couch and you and baby get the bed?

I wouldn't kick your DH out. That doesn't seem fair to him. A mattress on the floor, pack and play in your room, or a side car crib would be better.

Either way, someone is being kicked out of the bed. I'm pretty sure her husband would prefer sleeping on the couch to his baby sleeping in a dangerous situation. If they can't afford any of the other options, her DH on the couch instead is 100% the safest option.

All I'm saying is to consider what your husband wants. It seems as if a lot of husbands are getting kicked out of their own beds to sleep elsewhere and the moms are making the majority of the decisions. Just work together on a solution.

When we had major sleep issues with our son, asking my DH to sleep elsewhere was not an option I considered. It's our bed (his and mine). We found other options for DS.

Just an update, we've been able to side car our crib the past week or so and it's been helpful so far. She tends to enjoy being on the bed than the crib but at least she won't fall over, is safer, and I have somewhat adjusted laying down this way. Any feedback on what's the best way to "even" out the border between the crib and bed aside from firm blankets?

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